"I should have followed you inside, but I didn't. That's my fault, Ty, not yours." His eyes stay locked on mine, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles across my knuckles. I'm unsure if he's soothing himself or me, but at this point I don't care.
"I stayed out back at the picnic table…and—" I shake my head jerkily as the memories flood my mind. "It just happened so fast that, in the beginning, I don't even think I registered what was happening. I kept praying that someone would come back out—"
Ty yanks away from me, bending at the waist, a deep sob ripping from his throat. His shoulders heave roughly several times before he puts a hand over his eyes and begins to pace, moving further away from me. I cover my mouth with both hands. I can't handle this. I've never seen Tyson cry, and watching him fall apart is like a knife to the fucking chest. I don't ever want to see him hurt like this again, but I need to finish and he needs to hear it.
"When it was over," my chest heaves in and out several times, "when it was over, I just laid in the alley, sobbing, and in total shock. I don't think I could have moved if I wanted to. I'm not sure long I laid there, but Levi found me. He took me to the hospital to get cleaned up." I squeeze my eyes shut, remembering how scared I was when I refused a rape kit, but he doesn't need to know that. "When I got home, the first thing I did was call you, and when you didn't answer Levi tried calling you."
"FUCK!" Tyson growls, folding into himself. "FUCK!"
The anger and self-loathing rolls off of him in waves, but I sit back on the shore, watching—waiting—to see what he'll do. My body aches to move toward him and my hands ache to soothe his pain, but I'm frozen. I'm stuck in my own hell, where the memories of my past are battling my future—and there isn't a damn thing I can do to stop it.
Suddenly, Tyson stands, smoothing his hands down the front of his pants. He takes a few deep breaths and clears his throat. When he walks over to me, he doesn't reach for me. No, he stands in front of me, his eyes bouncing around my face for several seconds before his words come out, rough and raw.
"What do you need from me?" he asks. "Tell me what you need and that's what I'll do. You need me to find out who it was and kill him? Done." I grimace. "You need me to get on my knees and beg you to forgive me? Because I'm already certain that's going to happen. But I need to know," he sucks in air, "because I don't want to make this harder for you."
My future just kicked the ass of my past!
I take a sure, steady step toward Tyson, his words still fresh in my head. Tell me what you need and that's what I'll do. Everything from our chests down to our thighs is touching, but it's not enough. I need more—I'll always need more.
I waste no time throwing my arms over his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. Tyson doesn't miss a beat. His strong arms wrap around my back as he gathers me against his body. His beautiful face is buried in my neck, and when I feel his tears gather there, I squeeze him tighter.
"This is what I need, Ty. I need you. I've always needed you." My words are nothing but a jumbled mess mumbled against his shoulder, but I know he hears them. A deep sob roars from his mouth. He lifts me and when my feet leave the ground, I wrap my legs around his waist.
We stand there for several minutes, both of us crying. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Please, please forgive me. If I could rewind time, I—"
Doesn't he know that I would never undo what happened? Because despite the crippling fear and unimaginable anger, the attack resulted in the one person who I truly could not live without—Max.
I pull back, gripping his cheeks in my hands. I wipe away his tears and give him a watery smile. "No," I whisper, shaking my head. "I wouldn't want you to rewind time because that night, as horrible as it was…that was the best night of my life." His head rears back, his face scrunched in confusion. He's giving me that are-you-smoking-crack look and I chuckle, losing a few more tears in the process.
"What happened to me that night," I say, pausing to wipe my face, "was hands-down the worst thing I've ever been through. But that night gave me Max." He drops his forehead to mine and I hope that's a sign he understands. "So you see, I don't want to rewind time. Max is my silver lining…he is what got me through this. That little guy is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I'd go through what I went through a million more times if it meant that in the end I was going to get Max."
Tyson captures my mouth with his, but this kiss is nothing like any kiss we’ve shared before. This kiss is wrapped in acceptance, forgiveness, and hope.
"You are the strongest, most amazing woman I've ever met," he mumbles against my lips.
"You forgot kind, beautiful, spectacular…” His mouth tilts over mine in another kiss, this one so powerful that my entire body trembles. When he finally pulls away, I'm left heaving and breathless. He rubs his nose against mine before kissing it softly.
His sweet breath fans my face when he talks. "I'm fairly certain the world hasn't yet discovered the word that best fits everything that you are, Harley." I smile against his mouth, kissing him again and again. I love that I can do that whenever the hell I want.
"You're perfect." His words are soft, firm, and they're the sweetest words I've ever heard. "I love you, Harley, so much." All of my thoughts come to a complete halt… What? He…what?
Is it impolite to beg—demand—he say it again?
"OH. MY. GOD," QUINN moans, licking the ice cream off her spoon like it’s a damn lollipop. Two teenage boys are sitting in the booth next to us and when I see one of them reach under the table, I decide I've had enough.
"Ouch! Damnit, Harley, that hurt," she scolds, bending down to rub her leg.
"Quinn, you just moaned 'Oh my God' with your head thrown back as you sucked on a spoon...in public." She stares at me, her face saying, 'And your point is?’
I shake my head, returning to my lunch. "Never mind."
She shrugs her shoulders and pops her spoon back in her mouth, completely oblivious. "So…spill it."
"Uh, spill what?" I ask, feigning ignorance.
"Oh, come on." She rolls her eyes. "It's been three weeks. I know you've done the deed and I want details," she says, singing the last word. "That hunk of a man of yours is fucking hot," she says, fanning herself with her napkin. "Like H-O-T, hot! His body is rockin' and please, please tell me he knows how to use it."
Well, shit. This is awkward. But I don't have any details to give. I want details…I really, really want lots and lots of details. But damnit, Max's vagina-blocking abilities seem to be getting stronger.
Quinn watches me, understanding flashing across her face. "Wait!" she says, putting her chocolate sundae down. How the hell she gets by with eating ice cream for lunch and still manages to look like she does, I'll never know.
"You haven't slept with him." I don't answer because it's not a question. She chuckles humorlessly and leans forward. "Why the hell haven't you slept with him?" Her face is serious. Quinn is actually concerned about my sex life.
I shrug my shoulder and pop a bite in my mouth. "I don't know. It just hasn't happened," I mumble.
She leans back, crossing her arms over her chest. Quinn can read people better than anyone I know and she can smell a lie from a mile away, which is how I know that I haven't gotten away with my little fib.
"Fine," I say, throwing a chunk of my bread at her face. She bats it away playfully before it can smack her in the head. "It's hard to get to that point when Max is around. When he's awake, we're always waiting for him to walk away so we can steal a kiss, and when he's asleep, we only make it so far before something happens to stop us."
"Interesting." She keeps lapping at her sundae before waving her spoon in a gesture that clearly indicates I should continue.
I sigh, pushing my half-eaten lunch to the side. "Okay. For example, the other night, Ty was watching TV so I decided to jump in the shower after I put Max to bed. Well, Tyson slipped into the bathroom, climbed into the shower with me and we started making out. His hands were everywhere and it felt so good
," I say, rolling my head back. "At least it did until Max started banging on the door, which thankfully Ty had locked on his way in. So there I was standing in the shower with Tyson's hand between my legs, two seconds away from—" I lean down and whisper, "—the best orgasm ever." I sit up and Quinn laughs. "The poor guy hadn't even been touched and there was Max, bangin’ on the door."
Thank God, this time Ty didn't freak. Nope, we've been interrupted so many times that he was cool as a cucumber. I, on the other hand, was not. Tyson merely laughed, dried himself off, and pulled his pants on, while I squeezed past the bathroom door in my robe and stuttered my way through a quick conversation with Max.
"So what happened?"
"Max had to pee, and then he wanted a drink of water. By the time I got him back in bed and took a shower, our flame had officially been doused."
Quinn clicked her tongue several times. "You guys need some alone time."
"Um…HELLO! You don't think I know that?" Tyson's birthday is in five days and I would love to get some alone time with him. Unfortunately, mom and dad already have plans that night, so I was kind of hoping I could rope either Quinn or Levi into watching Max for me.
"Harley," Quinn purses her lips. "Why didn't you just ask? You know I'm always more than happy to help out with Max." Christ, I love this girl.
"Thank you, Quinn." Reaching across the table, I give her hand a firm squeeze. "It's hard sometimes for me to ask for help, especially from you and Levi. You're both still single and have your own lives."
When my head drops, she snaps her fingers in front of my face, and I look at up her. She's smiling, her eyes dancing with amusement. Well, I'm glad she finds this amusing.
"Harley, you and Max are part of my life—end of story. It doesn't matter if I'm single or attached. Someday, if I find someone—"
"Wait. What happened to that mystery guy you were telling me about?" I can't believe I forgot to probe her about that.
She waves her hand dismissively. "Nothing. It didn't go anywhere."
Seriously? That's it? She's going to have to give me more than that. "Who was it?" I ask, leaning into the table.
Her eyes study me for a beat, and then she looks down and shoves a bite of ice cream into her mouth. "It was Mason," she mumbles, swallowing hard.
My eyes widen and I scoot forward in my seat. "What? You and Mason?" Honest to God, I had no idea they even had a thing for each other. "How long were you guys..." I trail off and her eyes snap to mine.
"Not long. Really, it was nothing," she says, her voice flat. Her eyes bounce around the room and when they land back on me, I notice the spark that's normally there is gone.
My heart squeezes inside my chest. Quinn may come off rough and tough but deep down she's a sensitive—soul, she just doesn't express it that well. "Quinn, if it was Mason, then it wasn't nothing. Mason doesn't do nothing."
She nods slowly, but doesn't say a word. I can tell by her rapid blinking and the shoveling of ice cream into her mouth, that she's trying to keep from showing any emotion. "Quinny." Reaching across the table, I try to grip her hand, but she pulls away before I have the chance.
"I really don't want to talk about this, okay?" Her chin quivers and I relent, not wanting to push her too far.
"Okay," I nod. She takes a deep breath, blows it out slowly, and just as quickly as she disappeared, happy Quinn resurfaces.
"Okay. So like I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me," she shoots me a wink, "someday, if I find someone—"
"When," I interject, and she rolls her eyes in response.
"If I find someone, they'll have to be okay with the fact that you and Max are a package deal." A lump forms in my throat. Hands down, I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend than Quinn.
"So, when do you want me to watch him?"
Clearing my throat, I ask, "Can you keep him this Friday? It's Ty's birthday and I was hoping—"
"Done!" she declares, beaming at me. "Want me to keep him for a few hours, or do I get to keep the handsome little devil for the night?"
"Um…for the night?"
Quinn straightens her back. "Harley," she snaps. "No. Just no. You need to give me more conviction and a little less of whatever that was."
Oh, Quinn…always trying to make me stronger. Little does she know that she is this rare breed of woman who all other women strive to be. But I'll humor her, just this time. Straightening my back, I pin her with a firm gaze. "You'll keep him for the night. Pick him up at three so I have time to plan something, and don't bring him back the next day until I call and tell you to."
She bursts out laughing, laying her hand across her chest. "I am so proud. My little girl is all grown up," she says with an exaggerated sniff.
"You're so weird, Quinn." I pick up my tray, wrap my purse over my shoulder, and slide out of the booth.
"Weird…but awesome," Quinn replies, following behind me. "So, what are you going to get that sexy man of yours for his birthday?"
Well, shit. I hadn't thought about that. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was going to give him…well…me, but I probably need to give him something else too.
"Not sure yet. I'll come up with something though." Quinn nods in agreement.
Three hours later, my phone beeps just as we are sliding into Quinn’s car. I unlock the screen and smile at what greets me. I shove my phone in Quinn's face and she rips it out of my hand.
"Holy shit, he's hot!" I yank the phone back and smile. Yes, he is quite hot.
"Quinn, did you even see the picture?" I ask, looking at the picture Ty sent of him and Max. Tyson is smiling his million-dollar smile and Max has his cheek squished against Ty's, making a silly face. My heart melts—literally melts.
"I saw it," she replies. "Max is cute and Ty is freaking gorgeous. Was it weird leaving Max with him this morning?" she asks, glancing at me and then back at the road.
Quinn and I haven’t spent any time together since Tyson and I reconnected. So when she called and wanted to spend the afternoon shopping, I wasn't about to tell her no. Ty was more than happy to spend a few hours alone with Max, and by the look of it, they’re having a great time.
"Honey! We're home!" Quinn yells, stepping into my house.
Max comes barreling around the corner and throws himself at Quinn. "We made you guys dinner!" he chirps excitedly.
"Max!" Ty laughs. "It was supposed to be a surprise!"
"SORRY!" he yells back.
Tyson walks into the living room, a dishrag hanging over his left shoulder. He looks at Max and then at me, and smiles. My heart flutters at the adoration displayed on his face. It takes every ounce of willpower I have—plus some—to keep from throwing myself at him.
We decided right off the bat that we weren't going to be affectionate in front of Max. We also didn’t want to try and explain anything to him until we were certain that this was going in the right direction. But if the daily sight of my son wrapped up and giggling in Ty’s big, strong arms isn't a sign of good things to come, then I don't know what is.
"Come on, Ty!" Max hollers. "Let's finish dinner." Tyson scoops up Max, tossing him over his shoulder, and Max lifts his head, waving at Quinn and me. A snort slips from his nose when Tyson tickles his side.
Quinn and I watch the two of them walk into the kitchen and she nudges me with her elbow. "Please tell me that turns you on," she says, still staring in the direction they just walked. I know exactly what she's talking about. Watching Tyson and Max interact and get to know one another has been the most awesome experience. He is so good with Max, and it's clear that Max already owns a little piece of his heart. Watching Tyson with Max is, in fact, a huge turn on—for me, anyway.
"It does," I exhale. "It so does."
"What does Max think?" she asks, turning toward me.
We should tell him. He's too perceptive not to pick up on it, but it’s such a big step, and up until about five seconds ago, I wasn't sure I was ready.
"We haven't told him."
Quinn's eyes widen. "Why the hell not?"
"I want to…" I say, not answering her question. My eyes dart into the kitchen. Max is standing on a step stool in front of the sink, washing vegetables, and Tyson is next to him, encouraging and praising him for doing a good job. My heart squeezes at the sight of them together and something snaps.
"I'm going to," I confirm, stepping away from Quinn. I make my way to the kitchen and Quinn follows behind. I'm such an idiot. Tyson has become such a huge part of my life—not to mention, Max's—and I've been keeping him at arm’s length, denying to everyone except the two of us what he means to me. Well, not anymore. If he wants in, he's in.
"What's going on in here…" I ask suspiciously. Tyson throws a wink over his shoulder and ruffles Max's hair.
"Max here is—" His words cut off when I press against his back, my hands resting at his sides. Panic flashes across his face as I slide my arms around his middle, flattening my palms against his stomach. I smile at him reassuringly and his face lights up with understanding. With his right hand still firmly planted against Max's back, all other sensations fly out the window when I feel his rough hand slide along my forearm. When his hand reaches mine, he stops, gripping it gently.
Thank you, he mouths, his neck cocked back and to the side so that he can see my face. My eyes burn with happiness and I drop my chin to his shoulder. You're welcome, I mouth back.
This is right.
It's so right.
I can feel it in my bones. Deeper than that, I can feel it in my soul.
"What?" Max demands, looking at Tyson. "You said 'Max here is' and then you stopped. You can't do that." His brows are dipped low in frustration as he watches Ty.
Reaching up, Tyson ruffles his hair again. "Max here is washing the vegetables so he can make a…" he trails off, encouraging Max to finish his sentence.
"A salad!" Max answers proudly, beaming his white smile up at me. "I'm making you and Quinn a salad. DO YOU LIKE SALAD, QUINN?" he bellows over his shoulder, obviously assuming that Quinn is in the other room.
Where We Belong Page 21
