Where We Belong

by K. L. Grayson

  When her eyes find mine, they are full of adoration. Cupping my free hand around her neck, I pull her to me. Her lips part on a sigh and she pushes her tongue into my mouth. This kiss isn’t rushed or desperate like the ones from earlier today. No, this kiss is soft and gentle, and I almost lose my own footing at the promises it holds.

  “Ty, you really have cooties now.” Harley pulls away, holding her hand to her mouth, embarrassed that she was caught kissing me in front of her son. Her face flushes crimson right before she turns to go find Quinn.

  “Watcha got there, buddy?” I ask, sitting down on the floor next to Max.

  “It’s my backpack. I’m going to pack it for camping,” he says excitedly, and I hate that I have to tell him we can’t go tonight.

  “Max?” He looks at me, stopping the movement of his little hands. “We can’t go camping tonight.” His face falls and I hurry to explain, “You have daycare tomorrow, and your mom and I have to get up early for work. But I promise you, we will go camping this weekend. How about Friday?”

  He opens his backpack and pulls out a thick envelope. “Okay,” he sighs, pinning his chocolate eyes to mine. “But you promise?”

  Sticking my hand out, I offer him my pinky. “I pinky swear.” His tiny lips purse and he furrows his brow.

  “What do I do with that?” he asks, looking at me, then down at my pinky, and then back up to me.

  “It’s a pinky swear,” I say, amazed that he has no idea what I’m talking about. He continues to stare at me like I’m an alien, so I reach out and wrap my pinky around his.

  “See,” I say, shaking our joined pinkies in the air. “It means neither one of us can back out because we made a pinky swear.”

  “Cool!” he says, beaming up at me, right as Quinn and Harley walk back into the room. Max scoots toward me and holds out the envelope in his hands.

  “This is for you,” he says quietly, his hands fidgeting in his lap after I take the envelope.

  “For me?” I ask, smiling when he nods vigorously.

  “I made it for you for your birthday.”

  “Wait!” Harley jumps up off the couch. “Don’t open it!” She takes off in a sprint down the hallway and when she runs back into the living room, her socks slide across the floor and she lands back on the couch with an amused smile.

  “Camera!” she says, waving the case in the air. I notice her tuck another white envelope under her leg right before she fumbles with the case, trying to get the camera out. “Okay, ready!”

  I laugh nervously, wondering what in the hell she seems so excited about, and Max nudges my leg.

  “Open it,” he says, scooting closer to me.

  Sliding my finger underneath the flap, I rip it open and a handful of colorful papers fall out. Each one is about the size of a 4x6 picture and they’re individually decorated with stamps, stickers, and drawings that appear to be done by Max.

  I smile, looking over at his expectant face, still trying to figure out exactly what they are. “Turn them over,” he says excitedly. “They’re coupons!” Reaching out, he turns them over for me. “See?”

  Harley’s camera starts flashing beside us, but I don’t pay attention—the scribbled writing on the cards makes me momentarily forget everything else.

  I swallow hard and my heart clenches tight in my chest as I read through the first few coupons. Each one says ‘GOOD FOR’ at the top and underneath that, each card says something different.

  My red-rimmed eyes find his and Max offers me a nervous smile. My hands tremble, but I manage to not drop the colorful pieces of paper that have rendered me speechless. I look back down and keep reading.

  Warmth radiates throughout my body. My heart is racing so fast that I’m certain it could shoot straight out of my chest. I glance over at Harley to find her and Quinn both observing me closely. Harley’s hand is covering her mouth, tears brimming her eyes, and if I’m not wrong, I swear I just saw her chin quiver. She’s watching me nervously, obviously unsure of how I’m going to perceive the coupons. I offer her a slow smile and she drops her hand and smiles back.

  Gently tapping my leg, Max clears his throat. “There’s one more.” Looking down, I see a bright green piece of paper gripped tightly in his hands. He offers it to me and I gently take it from him. I notice that he’s not smiling. He’s looking at me, but it’s more like he’s looking through me. Glancing down, I see that the coupon is blank. The stickers, stamps, and drawings are all there, but no words. I flip it over, and when I find that the other side is blank too, I look back at him.

  “It’s good for anything,” he says quietly, glancing nervously at Harley before turning his chocolate eyes on me.

  Leaving one card out, I stack the others and neatly tuck them back into the envelope. “I love it, Max,” I say, swallowing past the lump he unintentionally put in my throat. “It’s the best birthday present anyone has ever given me.” His eyes widen, a grin tugging at the side of his mouth.

  “Really?” he asks hopefully. I hear a light sob and I know it’s probably Harley, but I can’t look. Right now all of my attention is riveted solely on this one little man, who has me completely wrapped around each and every one of his fingers.

  I reach out, yanking him into my arms, pulling him against me. He wraps his arms around my neck and laughs when I tighten my hold. Burying my head in his messy brown hair, I whisper, enunciating every word, “The. Best. Ever.” He nods against my shoulder and I pull back, framing his face with my hands. Leaning forward, I place my lips against the top of his head for a brief second before I pull back and hand him a bright blue coupon.

  He scrunches his eyebrows and looks at me questioningly. Standing up, I reach out my hand to pull Max to his feet. He’s smiling up at me, his eyes bright with joy. "I want to play soccer. How about you?”

  “Yeah!” he says, jumping up. He fist-pumps the air and then turns toward the door. Stopping abruptly in his tracks, he runs back to me and shoves the blue coupon back into my hands.

  “Keep it. This one is free,” he says before running off into the kitchen. “I’m gonna get my shoes on and I’ll meet you outside,” he yells.

  Quinn walks up and wraps her arm around me, pulling me in for a hug. “You were great,” she whispers before pulling away from me. “I’ll give you two a second.” I watch her retreating back and then turn to Harley. She’s sitting on the couch, her feet tucked neatly underneath her butt. I can tell she’s been crying because her eyes are red and puffy and she has tear tracks running down her face.

  “I love him,” I say softly. Unfolding herself, she walks over to me and strokes a hand down the side of my face.

  “I know you do,” she says, grazing her lips across my mouth. “He loves you too.” Wrapping my arm around her neck, I pull her to me, kissing the side of her head. “It really is the best present I’ve ever gotten.”

  Harley chuckles and turns her face to mine. “You haven’t seen my present yet,” she says seductively.

  “Mmmm,” I mumble into her hair. “You already gave me my birthday present…like five times.”

  She laughs, swatting my chest playfully. “Not that. I made you something too.”

  “Can I have it?” I ask. Walking to the couch, I tug her down next to me and pull her legs onto my lap. Reaching across to the end table, she picks up an envelope and lays it in my lap.

  “I hope you like it,” she says, biting her lower lip.

  Once again, I find myself opening a sealed envelope. Small cards are stacked neatly in the envelope and I slide them out. They are very similar to the ones Max gave me, only these are littered with little hearts and flowers around the edges. Sifting through the cards, I notice that there are five—and they are all blank.

  My curious eyes find Harley’s. “They’re blank.”

  “They are.” Her eyes are smiling at me, her straight, white teeth framed by her dimples.

  I look at the papers and then back up to her. “For whatever I want?” I ask with a hint of
suggestion. One eyebrow raised, she slowly nods at me.

  Suddenly, I feel the need to confirm. “Like anything, anything?”

  “Apart from giving you Max,” she laughs, “they’re good for absolutely anything.” Her hand slides up my chest and wraps around my neck, tangling in my hair. She strokes my scalp several times, her tiny nails causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. “I trust you,” she whispers against my mouth. “So yes, they’re good for anything.”

  Her soft lips close over mine and her tongue enters, instantly tangling with mine. I groan into her mouth and gently fist my hand in her hair at the nape of her neck.

  “TY! COME ON!” Max yells through the back door. Harley giggles as she pulls back, and I close my eyes, dropping my forehead to hers.

  “Cockblocker,” I murmur. Tossing her head back, Harley lets out a throaty laugh that makes my cock twitch.

  Her phone pings and she slides off the couch, grabbing it from the coffee table. A smile spreads across her face as she types furiously on the screen. "Who is it?" I ask, curious who put that look on her face.

  She glances at me briefly before turning her attention back to her phone. "It's my friend, Celeste. She was just checking in to say ‘hi.’"

  "Do I know her?" I ask. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk about her."

  Harley's face softens before she says, "We met in an online support group."

  A heavy weight settles in the pit of my stomach and I cock my head her. "I didn't know you were in a support group."

  She takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. "There’s still a lot you don’t know, Tyson.” And there are some things you’ll never know. “It was a long time ago. Celeste and I connected almost instantly, bonded by the fact that we’ve both been through some terrible things."

  My stomach rolls with regret. I wasn't there for Harley when she needed me most, and I'm not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that. "I'm glad you have one another," I say sincerely.

  She smiles, but there's no humor in it. "Me too. Quinn and Levi have been unbelievable, but my friendship with Celeste has definitely been another silver lining."

  I nod, at a loss for words. Seemingly done with the conversation, Harley reaches a hand out to help me up. Her words spark something deep inside of me, but I can’t give it much thought... right now, I have a birthday present to cash in on.

  “IT’S OKAY, MOM, DON’T worry about it…yes, really…no, I’ll find someone…Quinn, maybe…okay…love you too, bye.” Rolling her eyes, Harley tosses her phone on the table.

  “What was that about?” I ask, bending down to pull Max’s shoes off. The second I’m done, he jumps up and runs to the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water.

  “Can I take this in my room?” He’s looking at me, but I’m not sure why. I glance at Harley and she cocks an eyebrow and shrugs. Max is still watching me, waiting for an answer. “Can I?” he asks again.

  “Uh…sure, buddy.“ I look at Harley and she nods. “Just be careful, don’t spill it.”

  “I won’t!” I watch, frozen in place, as Max bounds off down the hall. He asked me for permission to do something. Me—not Harley. I rub a hand across my chest where I feel my heart flipping over.

  Harley pats my arm. “You did great.”

  “Yeah?” I confirm.

  “Yeah.” Pushing up on her tiptoes, she kisses my cheek before moving to the sink.

  “Who were you talking to when I walked in?” Pulling a towel out of the drawer, I grab a plate and start drying it.

  “My mom,” she sighs, handing me another plate. “She was supposed to watch Max for me this Saturday since I have to work, but she had something come up and she can’t do it.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know.” Glancing at me, she frowns. “Maybe I’ll ask Quinn.”

  Hello? Am I invisible? “I’ll keep him.” Harley’s eyes snap to mine and she hands me another plate, her eyes roaming my face as though she’s trying to gauge my sincerity.

  “Really?” she asks slowly, propping a hip against the counter.

  “Yes, really. Why not?” I question, mocking her position.

  “I don’t know,” she says, glancing around the room. “Do you think you can handle keeping Max all day?” I know she doesn’t mean that in a bad way, she just knows that I’ve never watched a child for any extended period of time.

  “Sure,” I nod. “Max and I have fun together. I can handle it.”

  “You don’t have to work?” she asks.

  “Nope.”

  “Are you on-call?”

  “Nope,” I chuckle. “But it’s okay, I understand if you’re not comfortable with me watching Max for a full day.”

  “No. No, that’s not it.” Dropping her dishrag into the soapy water, she steps closer to me. “That’s not it at all. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t get called into work. If you want to keep him, he’s yours.”

  “Yo, Max! Get in here, bud!” I yell, giving Harley a quick peck on the lips.

  “What?” he asks breathlessly, skidding into the kitchen.

  “You’re going to stay with me this Saturday while your mom works. What do you think about that?” His eyes go wide as he sidles in next to his mom.

  “Really?” he asks. She nods, and Max busts out in a little dance.

  “Cool!” he booms. “Can we do something fun?”

  “Uh, yeah,” I say, looking at him like he’s crazy for even asking that question. “Now go get ready for bed, it’s getting late.” Once again he bounces off down the hall, and I briefly think that I would give anything for just a fraction of his energy.

  Harley waits until Max leaves the room and then picks up her rag and starts absently washing a dirty pan. “So, are you still going to camp out with Max on Friday?” she asks timidly.

  “Of course. I pinky swore.” Her eyes shift to mine, an amused grin gracing her face. “And I don’t break pinky swears,” I add, right before I snap her butt with the dishrag.

  “HAVE YOU HAD FUN tonight?” Harley asks, zipping up Max’s sleeping bag.

  “Yup,” he says, turning his head to face me. His eyes are sleepy, and I can tell that it’s only going to be a matter of minutes before he’s fast asleep.

  “Are you gonna sleep here with us, mama?” he asks with a yawn.

  Harley kisses his cheek and runs a hand through his hair. “No baby, I’m going to sleep in the house. This is a boys’ night, remember?” She winks at me and Max nods. “But I’ll stay here until you fall asleep.” Kissing him one more time, she scoots over to me and I pull her between my legs, resting her back against my front. We watch patiently as Max’s eyelids blink heavily several times.

  “Ty?” he whispers, prying his eyes back open.

  “Yeah, buddy?”

  “I had fun camping out with you.”

  “I had fun camping out with you too,” I whisper, leaning around Harley to run my hand through his hair. “It was the best campout ever.”

  A lazy smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, but he’s too exhausted to keep it there. His eyes drift shut and when I think he’s finally dozed off, he mumbles four little words that rock my world to its core.

  “I love you, Ty.”

  I thought that when Harley told me she loved me, I had won the fucking lottery. But that doesn’t even compare to how it feels to hear Max say the exact same thing. There’s just something so innocent about it, and the way the words easily fell from his lips has left me stunned and fighting for air. I can’t explain it…it’s nothing I’ve ever felt before and something I want to feel again every single day.

  I pick a shocked Harley up out of my lap and set her down next to me. Leaning forward, I swipe my hand across Max’s face, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Kissing him gently on the forehead, I whisper, “Max?” His drooping lids peel open, bobbing several times.

  “Hmmm?” Waking him back up probably isn’t the best thing to do, bu
t I need him to hear me.

  “I love you too, Max.” I swallow hard past the lump in my throat as tears prick my eyes. My chest is heaving with the overwhelming sense of love I have for this perfect little boy lying in front of me.

  “I know you do.” And just like that, everything in my life clicks into place. Every bad choice I’ve made falls by the wayside because they’ve all led me here. And there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be than in this tent on a cool fall night, where I just bared my heart to a perfect four-year-old boy. I know that Max is not biologically my son, but this love I have for him is all-consuming. It’s…it’s indescribable. I can only hope that someday I will love my own kids as much as I love Max.

  When I turn around, I see Harley brushing away the tears that are streaming down her beautiful face. I pull her into my arms, burying my face in the crook of her neck.

  “Thank you.” My words are strained with emotion and I tighten my grip on her, using her as an anchor. “Thank you for giving me another chance. Thank you for raising such an amazing little boy. And thank you for letting me be a part of your lives.”

  She sobs, her arms squeezing my neck. It’s obvious that this is as emotional for her as it is for me. Without a doubt, this is a turning point for us. Harley and I have come so far, and this feeling of finally having come full circle is one that I never want to go away.

  Right now, I need to hold her…I need to absorb what all of this means. So I tuck her in next to me underneath the thick down material of my sleeping bag. Snuggling in close, she nuzzles her head under my chin and wraps an arm around my stomach. We don’t talk because we don’t need to. Instead, we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms with a snoring Max beside us.

  MY PHONE BEEPS AND I pull it out, smiling when I see Harley’s name. This morning was chaotic, to say the least. We forgot to set an alarm for Harley, and by the time Max woke us up, Harley had all of one hour to get herself ready and get to work.