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Bully Bait

Page 7

by Michael Fry


  Chapter 28

  After school, while

  Molly and Karl were

  checking out Roy’s

  tree house, I followed

  Becky home.

  I did an excellent

  job avoiding detection.

  At least by Becky.

  A few blocks from

  school, she turned

  and walked the path

  toward a two-story

  house. She walked

  up to the porch and

  rang the bell. Which

  was weird. Why would

  she ring the bell of her own house?

  After the door opened and someone let her inside,

  I slipped behind a fence and started to change.

  Just as I finished my transformation into

  Max, I heard a door slam. I peeked around the

  fence and saw Becky standing in the backyard. It

  was now or never. I made my move.

  Becky stared at me. “Max?” She said Max like

  it was some sort of alien sand-hopper she just

  stepped on.

  “You were right!” I said. “We can’t be friends

  if we never meet. So, I came to your house.”

  Becky gasped. It wasn’t a scared gasp. It was

  more like an Are you kidding me? gasp. Like the

  gasp your mom makes when she catches you

  roasting marshmallows over the gas stove.

  Very quietly, Becky said, “This isn’t my

  house.”

  “Then whose house is it?”

  “Becky, is that you?” said a way too familiar

  Mutant Troll voice from inside the house.

  “Ah . . . yeah,” squeaked Becky.

  “Roy’s house!” I whisper-shouted. “This can’t

  be Roy’s house. Where’s the . . . ”

  My heart sank to my socks. I stared at Becky.

  “Then what are YOU doing here?”

  “I tutor Roy.”

  Of course she tutors Roy. She would tutor

  Roy. She’s that kind of person—the kind of

  person that tutors Mutant Troll Bullies.

  Becky stared at my alphabet block elevator

  shoes. “What are you wear—”

  “I’m coming out! I’ve got lemonade!” Roy

  yelled.

  “You’ve got to hide!” whispered Becky. “Roy

  really doesn’t like other people coming to his

  house. Go. Hide. Now!”

  “Hide? Where?” I said.

  But Becky took off. I quickly looked around,

  but there was really only one place to hide.

  I stumbled as fast as I could toward the tree

  house. Somehow I got to the ladder without

  doing a face-plant. I started to climb.

  Just as I got to the top, I felt someone grab

  my arm and pull me through the door.

  It was Molly. Karl lay spread-eagle next to

  her hugging the tree house floor.

  Molly wasn’t happy to see me. “What are

  you doing?” she asked. “What is that? An eye

  patch?”

  “Did you poke your eye out running with

  scissors?” asked Karl, still clutching the floor.

  “What? No.”

  “Oh,” said Karl disappointedly. “You shouldn’t

  pretend to have a poked-out eye. It’s kind of

  mean to kids with real poked-out eyes.”

  “It’s a disguise!” I whisper-yelled.

  “Disguised as what?” asked Molly.

  “It doesn’t matter. Just be quiet so Roy

  doesn’t hear us.”

  Molly continued, “Wait. The only reason you’d

  come to Roy’s house in disguise is to . . .”

  “Scare him with your fake poked-out eye!”

  said Karl.

  “It’s. Not. A. Fake—”

  “To see Becky!” said Molly. “But you’re not

  here as you. So who are you here as?”

  “I’m Max! I’m Max! Okay? Now please, shut

  up!”

  “Whoa! You’re Max?”

  “Who’s Max?” asked Karl.

  Molly pointed to me. “The kid Roy said he was

  going to feed to the Cat Dumpster!”

  Karl slowly shook his head. “They’ll lick your

  face right off. Their tongues are like little pink

  sandblasters.”

  Molly continued, “And Max is the kid who’s

  been text-torturing Roy with his grandmother’s

  phone.”

  Karl’s eyes popped again. “Whoa. You’re a

  fake poked-out-eye double secret agent!”

  “Quiet!” I whispered as I looked around for

  a way out. All I could see was one door and one

  window. And on the floor next to Molly . . .

  “That’s that pig from that little kid show,” I

  said. “Is that—?”

  “Oinkdexter,” said Molly. “And yes, he’s Roy’s

  super secret thing from Dr. Daniels’s file. If you

  hadn’t shown up, we’d be out of here with him

  by now.”

  Before I could figure out what was so special

  about a stupid stuffed pig, Becky yelled from

  outside, “Roy, let’s just do your homework down

  here! Not in the TREE HOUSE!”

  It was too late. We could hear Roy starting to

  climb the ladder.

  I pointed to the window. “That way! Now!”

  Molly and I rushed to the window. But Karl

  didn’t budge.

  I turned to Molly. “We’ve got to go!”

  She shook her head. “We’re not leaving Karl

  behind.”

  We could hear Roy outside. He was almost at

  the door.

  Suddenly Molly yelled at Karl, “By your head!

  SPIDER!”

  “Ahhh!” Karl screamed as he jumped up.

  I looked at Molly. “Impressive,” I said.

  Molly grinned. “How do you think I got Karl

  up here in the first place?”

  Karl rushed toward us and almost threw

  himself out the window. He’d just made it

  outside when Molly cried, “The pig!” I quickly

  reached back in to grab it.

  “Hey!” yelled Roy. “What are you . . . ?” Roy

  stared at Oinkdexter in my hand. “Nooooo!” he

  screamed.

  Roy lunged for me, then fell. He tried to get

  up, but Becky was holding his leg. “Roy, no! Let

  Max go!”

  “Max? You’re Max?” growled Roy.

  I didn’t answer. I was too busy searching for

  an escape route. But we were stuck out on a tree

  limb with nowhere to go. It seemed hopeless,

  until . . .

  A branch

  overhung the

  deep end of

  the pool next

  door. It was

  only a seven

  foot drop,

  but of course

  Karl started

  to panic.

  Molly calmly looked into Karl’s eyes and said,

  “Just imagine there are more spiders behind

  than in front of you.”

  Karl nodded and immediately started scooting

  out onto the limb with Molly right behind. The

  branch sagged under their weight.

  I was about to follow when I felt a Mutant

  Troll hand on my shoulder. Becky yelled, “Max,

  look out!”

  I turned around and came face-to-face with

  Roy. He grabbed Oinkdexter. “That’s mine!”

  I held tight to the pig as Roy tried to pull both

  of us through the window. />
  “Max, just let him have it,” pleaded Becky.

  “No!” I grunted. I couldn’t let go of the only

  thing standing between me, Roy, and Roy

  stuffing me somewhere worse than a locker.

  But Roy was too strong. Just as I felt myself

  about to be dragged through the window I gave

  one last yank and . . .

  Roy gasped and loosened his grip. This

  was my chance. I braced my feet and lunged

  backward.

  I won! I had the pig! I . . .

  All three of us surfaced. My alphabet block

  elevator shoes made it too hard to swim, so I

  ripped them off. We swam for the edge, climbed

  out, and took off.

  Behind us, we could hear Roy screaming over

  and over again, “Oinkdexter! Oinkdexter!”

  Roy sounded like he was in real pain. He really

  wanted that pig back. I almost felt sorry for him.

  Almost.

  Chapter 29

  We ran for blocks and blocks, dripping wet,

  until we couldn’t run anymore, and stopped at a

  park to catch our breath.

  The three of us sat in the swings gasping.

  Finally, I said, “All in all I thought that went

  pretty well.” Becky and Karl didn’t seem to

  agree.

  Molly got up, took Oinkdexter from me, and

  said, “I’m out of here.”

  “What are we going to do with the pig?” I

  asked.

  “We’re not going to do anything,” said Molly.

  “Because we’re not in Safety Patrol anymore.

  Because there is no more Safety Patrol.”

  “Wait. What?”

  “We voted. It’s two to one and it’s over.”

  I looked at Karl and asked, “When did you

  vote?”

  “C’mon! We can figure something out,” I

  offered. “I like you guys. I like being in Safety

  Patrol. All I care about—”

  Molly screamed, “IS YOURSELF!”

  “Molly, please!” I begged.

  Molly ignored me. She turned to Karl. “Are

  you coming?”

  As Molly started to stalk off, Karl turned to

  me and said, “You know, I was in Safety Patrol

  before Safety Patrol was cool.”

  “I know, Karl.” I nodded.

  “It was a lot more fun then,” said Karl.

  Karl got off the swing and followed Molly out

  of the park.

  I thought, Fine, be that way. I didn’t need

  them. I could have fun on my own. Like with

  this swing. Swinging is fun. You don’t need any

  stupid friends to swing. You can swing just fine

  all by yourself.

  So I started to swing.

  Slowly at first. Then faster. And higher. And

  higher. Until I let go.

  As I hung there in the air, I looked down

  and waited for the ground to open up so I could

  fall. And fall. And fall until I could forget I was

  falling again.

  But the ground didn’t open up.

  I just fell.

  And landed.

  And got a face full of dirt.

  Chapter 30

  I was mostly dry by the time I got home. I

  tried to squeak-squish past Memaw, but she has

  eyes in the back of her head. And on her arms.

  And a few on her legs. And a couple of seriously

  creepy ones on her feet.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  Memaw frowned. “‘Nothing’ is as useless as

  lipstick to a chicken.”

  “I let some

  friends down,” I

  said.

  “Then pick

  them up.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “Are they husky?”

  I smiled. “One of them is.”

  She nodded. “You can’t pick your friends up

  until you pick yourself up.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

  Memaw thought for a second. Then she said,

  “Let me put it in comic-book terms. You know

  that one with the spineless kid that fought that

  gnome that turned everyone to goo?”

  “NanoNerd, issue fifty-

  three?” I said. “You read

  NanoNerd?”

  “You left it in the

  bathroom,” explained Memaw.

  “That was a good one,” I

  said. “NanoNerd versus Kew:

  The Glancing Gnome of Zrew.”

  Memaw smiled. “A glance from Kew turns

  nerds to goo.”

  “Wow.” Memaw grinned. “When you tell it, it

  almost makes sense.”

  I continued, “In the end, there was only one

  way for NanoNerd to defeat Kew.”

  “Yup, the ricochet,” said Memaw. “When you

  hurt your friends you’re not going to like what

  you see when you look in the mirror. You can

  either stop looking in the mirror and hate yourself

  forever or . . .”

  “Or what?”

  Memaw smiled.

  “Just noodle on it. It’ll

  come to you.” Then

  she leaned over and

  hugged me.

  I noodled on it all evening. I thought pretty

  much everything could be explained with comic

  books. But I guess not.

  I finally gave up. I was on my way to brush

  my teeth when Mom stopped me in the hall.

  I thought she was going to do her Mom-fu thing

  and ninja my problem, but instead she said, “I

  want you to really brush this time. Use the mirror.

  Make sure you get all the way in the back.”

  So I did. I brushed the tops and the bottoms.

  I brushed in front and all the way in the back.

  I brushed so far back that I bumped that flappy

  thing that hangs down in the back of your throat.

  I gagged. Hard. And coughed. And coughed.

  And coughed some more.

  Mom was at the bathroom door in an instant,

  saying, “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine. It’s okay.”

  Mom relaxed. She said, “Did you get all the

  way in the back?”

  I nodded.

  Mom smiled. “Good boy,” she said, then

  hugged my neck, said, “I love you,” and left.

  Suddenly I got this weird feeling. Like when

  somebody says something nice to you, but you

  know you don’t deserve it.

  That’s when I looked in the mirror, and I

  knew why I didn’t deserve it.

  Finally, I understood what Memaw was

  trying to say. That wasn’t me looking back in the

  mirror. That was Gnick: a Nick/Gnome mutant

  that lies and lets his friends down. And until I

  made things right and told the truth, I wouldn’t

  be able to look in the mirror ever again. Without,

  you know, exploding into goo.

  Or something.

  I knew what I had to do now. I waited until

  Memaw fell asleep, then I snatched her phone,

  and unblocked Roy’s number to text him one last

  time:

  Max: Meet me tomorrow at the soccer field at 4.

  Finally, I went to bed. But I just lay there.

  I couldn’t sleep. Something was bugging me.

  Something really, really, super important.

  It’s not plausible. Water? Metal? Windows?

  Does everyone live in a
bottomless pit on Zrew?

  I decided if I survived the next day I was

  going to send an e-mail to Nerdopolis Comics and

  demand an answer.

  If I survived.

  Chapter 31

  The next morning, I slept in. It was a teacher

  prep day, so there wasn’t any school, just the

  science fair in the evening.

  When I got downstairs, Mom and Memaw had

  already left. I started to fix some breakfast, when

  I heard a phone vibrating.

  It was Memaw’s phone. I picked it up. There

  was a whole thread of texts from Roy:

  Roy: I’ll b @ soccer field. U are so dead.

  Max: I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’m taking

  you DOWN! Right after my hair appointment.

  Roy: ????

  I forgot to reblock Memaw’s phone last night.

  Memaw was going to know everything. Which

  meant that even if I somehow survived Roy,

  Becky, Molly, and Karl, there was no way I’d

  survive Memaw.

  Chapter 32

  I got to school about an hour before the science

  fair. I figured that way nobody would be around

  yet to see me get my spleen ripped out.

  I figured wrong.

  “‘Double, double toil and trouble. Fire burn,

  and cauldron bubble,’” said Mr. Dupree from

  behind me.

  I turned around and said, “Do you even know

  what the stuff you say means?”

  He nodded. “It means I think you, Molly, and

 

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