The Case of the Flashing Fashion Queen: A Dix Dodd Mystery (Dix Dodd Mysteries)

by Norah Wilson

  THE CASE OF THE

  FLASHING FASHION QUEEN

  A Dix Dodd Mystery

  by

  N.L. Wilson

  (the writing team of Norah Wilson and Heather Doherty)

  PUBLISHED BY:

  Norah Wilson / Something Shiny Press

  P.O. Box 30046, Fredericton, NB, E3B 0H8

  Copyright © 2011 Norah Wilson and Heather Doherty, writing as N.L. Wilson

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owners and the publisher of this book.

  This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, establishments, organizations, or locations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious, and are not to be construed as real. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the authors.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to the publisher and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work

  Cover by The Killion Group, Inc.

  Formatting by IRONHORSE Formatting

  Note re Bonus Material

  Please note that bonus material in the form of an excerpt from Family Jewels, A Dix Dodd Mystery by N.L. Wilson, appears at the end of this book. That bonus material will make this book appear several pages longer than it actually is. Bear that in mind as you approach the end and are anxiously trying to judge how much story is left!

  Description:

  Tired of getting no respect at the big PI firm where she’s worked for years, Dix Dodd has hung out her own shingle at the ripe age of 40. There are plenty of cheating husbands to go around, and Dix has a knack for busting them. Problem is, it doesn’t always pay so well. Conscious that the guys back at the old firm are laying bets about how soon she’ll come crawling back, she figures she’s got six months to make a go of it. The going gets even tougher when she hires Dylan Foreman. But when he told her about getting fired from his law firm and disbarred for putting common decency before the firm’s interests, she hired him on the spot. In addition to being smart, he’s gorgeous enough to remind her she’s a woman. And at 28, young enough to make her feel like a total cougar.

  Things start looking up when Dix gets hired by millionaire businessman Ned Weatherby’s wife Jennifer Weatherby, to tail Ned 24/7 for a week, for a cool ten grand. Easy-peasy, right? Wrong! The job lands Dix in the middle of a murder investigation - with her as the prime suspect and her arch-enemy Detective Richard Head (a.k.a., Dickhead, one of the cheating husbands she’d nailed) gunning for her. Dix will need all her ingenuity, as well as the help of Dylan and her oddball cast of supporters to extricate herself from this one.

  Praise for the Dix Dodd Mystery series:

  “This quirky new detective series left me crying... with laughter! Eat your heart out, Stephanie Plum.”

  —Shéa MacLeod, Kindle Bestselling Author of the Sunwalker Saga Series

  “If laughter is the best medicine, N.L. Wilson has your Rx, with a delicious side helping of mystery and sexual tension!”

  —Lina Gardiner, Award-winning author of What She Doesn’t Know

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Other Books

  About the Authors

  Family Jewels: A Dix Dodd Mystery

  Chapter 1

  A lot of people specialize.

  If you have a toothache you go to the dentist, not the doctor (unless he’s a really hot doctor and then you go there first). If you need a new roof, call the roofer. Groceries? Call the grocer. You wouldn’t go to a mechanic for your annual pap smear, nor have your OB-GYN under the hood of your... um... car. Okay, bad analogy. But you see where I’m going, right?

  The point is, when you have a special job in mind, you call a specialist. And if you live in Marport City and need someone to get to the truth of a matter—and when the matter is private and dear to your heart—you call me.

  You see, I’m a private detective. I’m not so new to the business itself, but new to being out on my own. Six months’ new. I worked for years at a private detective company called Jones and Associates. The number one company in Marport City. All professional. All business. All men. And no matter how hard I worked there, how brilliantly I put things together (and that would be damn brilliantly, thank you very much), I was always the ‘girl’. The one sent to do the coffee runs. The one who ordered office supplies and hunted down the lost files. I never had a real shot at advancing there, despite my many years of service and their many years of promises. So a few months before my fortieth birthday, I set out on my own. Hung up my own shingle.

  The boys at Jones and Associates told me I’d never survive, that I’d be hauling my skirted butt back there within the year. Well, it’s been six months, and I’m still hanging onto that shingle. Hanging on by my fingernails, mind you, but hanging on.

  These days, I specialize in trailing men who cheat, or who are suspected of cheating. I trail them for wives who are wondering about girlfriends, and girlfriends wondering about wives. Overprotective moms, neurotic dads, and yeah, the occasional jealous ex-girlfriend who just has to know. I find out where, when, with whom and if you’re really interested—how. I take pictures. I take notes. I check gas gauges, tire treads and odometers. I follow trails left by credit card receipts and miscellaneous bills. I check out alibis.

  As you can imagine, it isn’t always pretty. But it’s always interesting.

  And some cases aren’t always as they seem.

  Take for example the case of Jennifer Weatherby, or as I like to call it, The Case of the Flashing Fashion Queen. Who would have known that one phone call, that one seemingly ordinary phone call, would turn into such a mess?

  But then, death is always messy. Or rather, murder is messy. Especially when I’m caught smack-dab in the middle of it.

  “Hey, Dix. Jennifer Weatherby just phoned to double check our address. I’m guessing her ETA is about two minutes.”

  Oh, thank God! I glanced up at my assistant. “Thanks, Dylan,” I said, as though I’d never doubted she’d show.

  Jennifer Weatherby had called me two days ago, on May 30. Called, in fact, just as I was writing out the rent cheque for the landlord, and wincing at how pitifully few dollars remained in my account.

  Five thousand dollars. That’s what she’d offered me. I’d just about dropped the phone. But Mrs. Weatherby had been clear: five
large for a week’s worth of work.

  But here’s the thing—sometimes these hot new clients don’t show. Sometimes they call in a fit of anger or jealously, but when they calm down, they decide they don’t need a private detective after all. And often they’re too embarrassed to call and cancel. So, yeah, I was more than happy when Dylan told me she was en route.

  His message delivered, I expected him to turn and leave. Well, kind of. Dylan Foreman rarely did what was expected.

  Good thing he was the best assistant I’d ever had.

  Okay, the only assistant I’d ever had. And strictly speaking, he wasn’t really an assistant. He was an apprentice. All aspiring private investigators have to complete a period of apprenticeship. I’d done mine with Jones and Associates. When Dylan Foreman knocked on my door just a month after I opened for business and laid his story on the table, I couldn’t refuse him.

  The man had a law degree, on top of a degree in communications and another in criminology. After passing the bar, he was scooped up by one of the top firms in the city and had been well on his way to making a name for himself in criminal law. But all that changed one day when he got a call from a scared kid.

  The kid had been abducted by his father, a client of the law firm and a suspected child abuser. Bastard had picked the boy up at school and driven him five hundred miles to another city. Police were searching for him frantically. Dylan had been working late that night when the call came in from the missing child. The kid had hit re-dial on the phone while his father had left him alone to go out for beer. Scared and crying, he’d told Dylan things his father had been doing to him.

  So Dylan called the police, gave them the number that had come up on the call display and they’d had the kid within the half hour. Found the little boy alone and scared, battered and bruised.

  Dylan knew what he’d done. The minute he’d picked up the phone to call the cops, he knew his career was effectively over before it ever really got started. But all he could think about was the fact that the client had called earlier in the day and the senior lawyers had done squat to protect that kid.

  Needless to say, he got flack. Then he got fired. Eventually, he got disbarred.

  “If you had it to do over, would you do the same thing?” I’d asked him.

  “In a fucking heartbeat.”

  I’d hired him on the spot. He worked hard; and thankfully, he worked cheap.

  And omigod, he was handsome! And young—all of twenty-eight. Okay, yeah, I had sort of a crush on him, but nothing serious. Nothing that kept me up at night. He was just... nice to look at.

  He was pretty good on the computers, too, up to and including some minor hacking when the situation demanded. He also made a mean cup of coffee (and I liked my coffee mean), and he didn’t mind getting his hands dirty when it came to that. Plus, holy hell, my clients loved him. If I had a dollar for every time I’d come out of my office to find a dejected damsel crying on his broad shoulders, the male strippers at The Nuts and Bolts next door would be some happy young men. Except the Canadian mint stopped making dollar bills years ago, and it’s damned hard to make a loonie stay inside a G-string unless you tuck it... Well, you get the picture.

  Where was I? Ah, yes, Dylan Foreman, and why I tolerated his idiosyncrasies.

  Simply put, we were well matched. What I lacked in compassion, Dylan more than made up for. I could deliver the bad-tasting medicine, but it was Dylan who had the bedside manner. He had a sympathetic ear, a compassionate nature, and a way of really listening to women that few men possessed. While I told the women their men were cheating, he told them they deserved so much better than the dogs who cheated on them. They left my office feeling low, and his desk feeling relieved.

  “We’re in perfect proportion, Dix,” he told me once, when I’d remarked on this.

  Dylan was handsome in that I’m-not-trying way—chocolate brown eyes, shoulder length brown hair begging to have fingers ran through it. He was built like a basketball player, long, lean and muscular.

  And all six foot four of him now stood in my doorway.

  Perfect proportion indeed.

  “Was there something else you wanted, Dylan?” I fought down the fluster that I was really too old for. Knowing, dammit, that I could always blame it on a hot flash, if need be.

  “I was thinking about the business cards.” Dylan entered my office and closed the door behind him.

  “Oh, no, not again.” I leaned back in my chair, coffee cup in hand, and clunked my feet up onto my desk. We’d been making do with those print-it-yourself, perforated thingies, but the time had come to order some real business cards. It was kind of fun, but also kind of becoming a pain in the ass getting them perfect. “I told you, nothing fancy on the cards. Just plain simple: Dix Dodd, Private Detective. Address and phone number.”

  He frowned. “Boring. We need something people will remember. Something that’ll make you stand out. You know... something with flair.”

  “Such as?”

  “Dix Dodd, Private Detective. Call me if you think you’re getting screwed, or know you’re not.”

  I groaned.

  “Come on, Dix! It’s perfect. To the point. Unforgettable.”

  I shook my head. “And completely not going to happen.”

  We both heard the footsteps in the hallway and our conversation halted. The door to the outer office opened to admit a female. I could see her silhouette through the frosted glass window of my office as she stood beside Dylan’s desk. She tipped a hand to her hair, then back down again. She raised a cigarette to her lips, lit a lighter, but pulled both away before she lit the smoke, and before I needed to run out to remind her of the building’s no smoking policy.

  “Don’t worry,” Dylan said, heading for the door. “I’ll think of something else for the business cards.”

  “Thanks, I just want something—”

  Without benefit of a knock, my door flew open. Dylan stepped aside before the doorknob caught him in a place that could do damage. My feet thumped to the floor; my chair tipped forward as I sat up straight.

  “Dix Dodd?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m Jennifer Weatherby.”

  Beside me, Dylan stood dumbstruck. A first, in my experience.

  Of course, I didn’t acquit myself much better. I pride myself on my unflappable self-control. Pride myself on my smoothness in dealing with all kinds of clientele. I didn’t fidget. I didn’t blush. And I didn’t stutter out of nervousness. But I have to admit I was a little stunned by Mrs. Weatherby’s appearance. It’s nothing for women to come into the office a bit overdressed to hide from prying eyes. After all, as much as I may not like to admit it, paranoia often plays a large role in the lives of the women who called upon my services. But this chick had gone just a tad overboard. Like, jumped-off-a-cruise-ship-in-the-middle-of-the-Pacific overboard.

  Jennifer Weatherby stood just a few inches short of six feet tall in her modest heels. Modest height, that is. Nothing else about those violet velvet puppies could be called modest. The hem of the purple dress she wore stopped just above the knee. She wore a wide black belt cinched at the waist, and broad shoulder pads that would have made Darth Vader envious. While the neckline of the dress didn’t exactly plunge, it didn’t need to. The lady was well endowed. If Mr. Weatherby was cheating, he certainly wasn’t a boob man. Mrs. Weatherby tipped a well manicured index finger to the rim of her wide glasses, pushing them back up on the bridge of her nose. Her blond hair was piled high in a feat of engineering that must have required a ton of product. I braced for the reek of hair spray, but all that wafted toward me was perfume. Lavender perfume, of course.

  Dylan recovered before I did from this first encounter with the Flashing Fashion Queen.

  “Mrs. Weatherby,” he said. “Can I get you a coffee?”

  I held my own cup protectively close.

  “No, thank you,” she said. “I... I don’t tolerate caffeine well. Makes me jumpy.” The last thing I wanted t
o see was this lady jumping.

  “Perhaps a juice, Mrs. Weatherby?” I offered.

  “No... thank you,” she said shakily. “Nothing for me.”

  On this cue, Dylan left, closing the door behind him. He’d give us time. Enough time for me to get to the heart of the matter: enough time for an S.O.B. fest, but not enough for a sob fest.

  “Please have a seat Mrs. Weatherby.”

  I could tell she was nervous. She moved to cross her left leg over her right as she sat, then her right over her left. She finally settled on pressing her knees so tightly together I just knew they’d have those little round, red circle things on the inside if and when she ever relaxed them again.

  She cleared her throat hoarsely. Man, she must have been crying for days.

  “I don’t know where to begin.”

  That was my cue to cut to the chase. “Why do you believe your husband is cheating, Mrs. Weatherby?”

  “Jennifer... please call me Jennifer.”

  I nodded. “Okay, Jennifer. Why do you believe your husband’s cheating?”

  “Oh, I don’t believe my Ned’s cheating.” She pressed her hands to her impressive chest as she drew a deep breath. “I know he’s cheating.”

  I opened my desk drawer and pulled out the pad and paper. I’d long ago learned that clients do not like tape recorders on the best of days, and I didn’t bother suggesting one to Jennifer Weatherby. The Weatherby name was well known in Marport City. Ned Weatherby had positioned himself to make a fortune on personal computer safety before anyone even suspected there was a need for such things. But when the viruses and spyware started to hit, he launched his product to the panicking masses just in time to save the businesses that had become so technology-dependent. He’d been a shrewd businessman, buying out his partners just months before he’d patented and launched the product—convincing them cleverly that the company was doomed. Some said Ned Weatherby had unleashed the viruses himself, but nothing was ever proven. Whatever the cause, the effect remained—the Weatherbys were loaded. And in Marport City, loaded meant life in the proverbial fish bowl. Mrs. Weatherby would want her privacy.