Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  “Just something simple. Pick up some pizza from Folliero’s.” Nicola yawned. She pulled out some money and handed it over to her son. “Get a couple of large ones in case your brothers come over.”

  “Got it.” Eli stuffed the money in his pockets.

  “Sit down, sit down.” Nicola instructed to her son, who promptly sat. “I hardly ever talk to you anymore because you’re always off doing stuff with your friends or your new lady friend. Tell me about this girl you’re seeing.”

  “Simone?” Eli asked. “She’s my girlfriend.”

  “Well, I figured that since you two were on the phone so much. I’m glad she’s local because if it was long-distance…” Nicola’s eyes got wide thinking about her potential phone bill. “…tell me more about her. Who are her parents, where she lives, all that stuff.”

  “Well, she’s originally from Houston. Her dad is an aerospace engineer and her mom stays at home. She has an older sister, Alicia.” Eli tried to think of something about Simone. “That’s about it.”

  “Simone doesn’t sound like an Italian name…” Nicola commented.

  “Simone’s her middle name. Her first name is Kaitlyn.”

  “Why doesn’t she go by Kaitlyn?” Nicola inquired. “Kaitlyn’s a nice name.”

  “She prefers to go by Simone.” Eli explained.

  “I don’t understand why she had to do that,” Nicola shrugged, “I mean what’s the purpose of having a first name if you don’t use it?”

  “It’s just a preference, ma.” Eli wondered why he was having a philosophical conversation with his mother on his girlfriend’s name preference. “That’s all.”

  “Kaitlyn Simone?” Nicola repeated. “It doesn’t sound Italian. What’s her last name?”

  “Harris.”

  “Oh, that’s definitely not Italian.” Nicola’s eyes danced upon the revelation. “What is she, Eli?”

  Eli let out a heavy sigh. He knew his mother was very traditional but he wasn’t sure how open-minded she was. “She’s Black. Creole.”

  “Cree-what?” Nicola’s nose scrunched up.

  “Cree-oh-lay. It means she’s mixed with a lot of things. She’s Black, Indian, and French,” he explained.

  “Okay.” Nicola nodded signaling she understood. “So when were you planning on telling me that your girlfriend isn’t Italian.”

  “Never,” Eli mumbled with his head down.

  “Eliodoro…” Nicola warned.

  Eli looked back up at his mother. “I wasn’t sure if you would like the fact I was dating someone who wasn’t Italian. And I really wasn’t sure if you would like the fact she’s Black.”

  “Well, I’ll be honest with you. I would have preferred that you met a sweet Italian girl just like your mother,” Nicola smiled, “but the heart wants what the heart wants. Remember that.”

  Eli’s eyes lit up and he smiled. “So you’re cool with me and Simone?”

  “If you like her and she likes you, I don’t care.” Nicola yawned. “But I have to warn you, Eliodoro, not everyone will like the fact you two are together. The world can be cruel when it wants to be. Expect to get stares and nasty and rude comments from people who aren’t as accepting as you two are.”

  “I can handle that.” Eli shrugged off his mother’s warning. “Nothing anyone can say or do will stop me from being with Simone.”

  “That’s the spirit!” Nicola smiled. “Now that you’re so fired up, go out into the world and bring me back my pizza!”

  ****

  “So…” Meredith began as she chopped lettuce for the salad. “What’s his name?”

  Simone helped her mother in the kitchen, preparing for the evening’s dinner. “Who?”

  “Kaitlyn Simone Harris, do not play with me.” Meredith warned. “I want to know who is this boy who keeps calling the house and why you haven’t brought him home to meet us.”

  Simone shrugged as she carefully wrapped potatoes with foil. “I never thought about it.”

  “You never thought about it, huh?” Meredith didn’t believe a word out of her young daughter’s mouth. “Well, now you get to think about it. I want to know everything starting with his name.”

  Simone wished her mother would just forget about Eli but it was too late. She was already in front of the firing squad. The only thing missing was a cigarette in her mouth and a blindfold around her eyes. “His name is Eli.”

  “Does this Eli have a last name?”

  “D’Amato.” Simone replied. “Eli D’Amato.”

  “D’Amato?” Meredith repeated. “He doesn’t sound Black.”

  “It’s because he’s Italian.” Simone replied.

  “An Italian boy, huh?” Meredith sliced up some carrots and tossed them in the salad. “I hope he’s not related to any mafia around here.”

  “He’s not a Mafioso, Mother.” Simone defended. “He’s a nice guy.”

  “What do his parents do?”

  “His mother works two jobs. His father left when they were young.” Simone put the potatoes in the oven and set the timer.

  “Uh-huh.” Meredith tossed some red cabbage into the mix. “Does he have any siblings?”

  “Four other brothers. No sisters.” Simone commented.

  “Okay,” Meredith tossed the salad together.

  “Well, I’m done here. If there’s anything else, just let me know. I’m going to start my homework now.” Simone began to leave the kitchen.

  “I think you should stop seeing your friend.” Meredith suggested.

  Simone turned around and faced her mother. She hadn’t even met Eli, or given him a chance. “What?”

  “Look, Katydid,” Meredith called her the nickname she had growing up, “I’m sure Eli is a nice boy and his family is nice. But he’s poor, sweetheart. And not only that, he’s not even Black. And you know how we feel about interracial relationships?”

  “Hello, Mother?” Simone pointed to both her and her mother’s light skin. “Our bloodline?”

  “That’s beside the point.” Meredith commented. “He grew up without a father and only his mother around. I’m assuming there was no father figure for him at all. He’s probably just as wild as some of these foolish boys I’ve seen around here.”

  “You’re not being fair!” Simone folded her arms. “You don’t even know Eli and his family and you’re already judging.”

  “I’m judging because I’m well aware of the type.” Meredith quietly replied. “I’m sure if I were to go to his house, I would see it in shambles, unkempt, and with holes in the walls. Speaking of which, I hope you didn’t venture over to his house.”

  Simone wanted to go to Eli’s home but whenever she brought up the topic, he always changed it. She didn’t have to figure too hard that he was embarrassed by the current state of his home. “I haven’t, yet.”

  “Yet?” Meredith looked up at her daughter. “That would be a negative.”

  “You can’t stop me from seeing him, Mother.”

  “Oh, yes, I will.” Meredith set her knife down and studied her daughter’s face. “I’m not having you run around being all fast.”

  “Being all fast?” Simone was offended. “Is that what you think of me? I’m just like Alicia?”

  “You will not disrespect your sister like that!” Meredith warned. “She’s shown me the love letters Eli has written to you and I don’t know why you thought I would never find out.”

  Simone listened to her mother in astonishment. She hid those letters in a place where they could not have been found, taped underneath her TV. She wondered how long it took Alicia to figure out where the letters were hidden. She then remembered how Alicia moved her TV one time and it became clear to her. “That’s it. I don’t need to be around this.” She left the kitchen and headed out.

  Meredith chased her daughter to the front door and blocked it. “Oh no, you’re not leaving this house and going over to see that hoodlum.”

  “Eli is a nice guy and you refuse to give him a chance! You’r
e judging him and you haven’t even met him, yet!” Simone begged. “You’re not being fair!”

  “I’m being more than fair. Now, you’re going to do whatever I say as long as you live under my roof, you hear that, missy?” Meredith warned.

  The wheels began turning in Simone’s head. “Do you mean that?”

  “Girl, don’t you test me.” Meredith said, sternly. “Now, you go upstairs and wash up and think about how you’re acting. Dinner will be ready in a short while.”

  Simone smiled at her mother and headed back upstairs to her bedroom. She lifted up her TV and saw all of the letters Eli had written to her were gone. She stomped her foot in anger. She got good grades, kept out of trouble, and now she couldn’t even have a boyfriend in St. George. Her parents didn’t have a problem with Seth because he was the pastor’s son and he was always on his best behavior around them. When he was alone with Simone, however, it was a different story. They perfected dry humping until it became second-nature. They got down to their underwear and did it, believing they weren’t doing anything wrong since they weren’t having premarital sex.

  Now Eli had barely kissed her and she was forbidden to see him. Well, if the rules were she had to follow whatever her parents said under their roof, it only made sense to her to no longer stay there. Her mother just made it easy for her.

  ****

  Eli hated carrying pizzas home from Folliero’s. They were only less than a mile away but Eli always had to risk getting chased by dogs and being stopped by every neighbor who wanted to talk about him or his brothers or whatever was floating in their mind. A twenty-minute trek always turned into a forty-five minute journey.

  He managed to get home and noticed his brothers’ cars were parked in front. It was a good thing he got enough pizza for everyone. “Hey, can somebody open up and let me in?” Eli knocked on the door. “I can’t reach the knob.”

  Immediately, Nick, Kieran, and Joey opened the door with pie-eating grins on their faces. “Well, hello, Eliodoro.” Nick greeted with a twinkle in his eyes. “It seems you have been keeping a secret from us.”

  “What secret?” Eli’s arms were getting tired from carrying three large boxes of pizza. “Come on, let me in, please?”

  “Not yet,” Joey smiled. “We’ll let you in when you tell us who Simone is?”

  How in the hell did his brothers know about Simone? The only thing his brothers knew was Eli had a girlfriend, but he had never revealed her name. Eli kept her a closely-guarded secret, only revealing it to his mother because she was determined to know. He even hid the love letters she wrote to him underneath his mattress. “Why do you want to know?”

  “Because,” Kieran began as Joey and Nick parted like the red sea and revealed Simone sitting on the couch with Nicola, “she just joined us for dinner.”

  Four

  Eli’s eyes widened and the pizzas fell out of his arms, just in time for Joey to catch them. “Move,” Eli shoved his brothers out of the way and made a bee-line straight to Simone who politely waved at him. He sat beside her and gave her a quick hug. “Moni, what are you doing here?”

  “I ran away from home,” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

  “Y-y-y-you what?” Eli’s mouth hung open.

  “I ran away from home. My parents said I couldn’t see you anymore while I was living with them, so I left,” she nervously smiled, “so here I am.”

  Eli should’ve been happy but his mind was going a mile a minute. After the warnings Simone kept giving him about her father, Eli just knew it was going to be his last day on Earth. “And you came here?” he asked.

  “I had nowhere to go, Eli!” Simone explained, “And then I remembered you told me where you lived and I came straight here.”

  “But you came here?” Eli repeated. While he kept the house nice and clean, it was nothing to write home about. Picture frames covered holes. A bucket underneath the sink collected water from the leaky faucet. Silly putty was a simple fix for the broken chair legs. His bedroom had the basic sheets and old, torn blankets with just one pillow and he often had to put extra clothes underneath it to give his head some support. While Eli didn’t consider himself poor, in comparison to Simone he definitely didn’t have any money. He was dependent on Nick giving him a weekly allowance from his DJ gigs for school meals and some type of social life.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t have come here at all,” Simone’s eyes grew sad again.

  “Don’t be silly,” Nicola interrupted the young couple, “Eli is just in shock because he just told me about you not too long ago. Anyway, both of you go wash up for dinner. Simone, you can eat with us but we’re going to take you home afterwards. Now hurry up before my pizza gets cold.” The young couple then left.

  The other brothers watched the couple head upstairs. “So what’s going on?” Joey asked.

  “It seems her parents don’t want her to date your brother because he’s Italian.” Nicola raised an eyebrow.

  “And how do you feel?” Nick asked. “Are you okay with Simone being Black?”

  “Honestly, I would’ve preferred she was Italian. Then I got to know her and she seems like a sweet girl.” Nicola smiled. “But I also told her I’m not harboring a fugitive. She’s going back home tonight after she eats here.”

  “Are you dropping her off or are you going to talk with the mother?” Kieran asked.

  “At first I was going to drop her off and be done with it, but if Meredith has a problem with my son because he’s Italian,” Nicola’s eyes danced with a mischievous glitter, “then she’s going to have a real big problem with the mama.”

  ****

  “I’m getting the feeling you don’t want me here.” Simone watched Eli wash his hands.

  “No, it’s not that I don’t want you here, Moni,” Eli turned off the faucet and began to dry his hands. “It’s just…it’s just…”

  “It’s just what, Eli?”

  Eli let out a sigh and looked into this girlfriend’s eyes. “The reason why I never invited you over here is because I’m ashamed of how I’m living, okay? I have to share a bedroom with my younger brother and you can tell this place has seen better days. So many things are broken and torn up around here. I get lunch money from my brother, Nicky, because all of the money my mom makes goes to groceries and keeping the lights on. I don’t shop at the mall because we can’t afford it. We shop at the goodwill. I’m embarrassed, Moni, that’s why I never invited you over here.”

  Simone had a half-grin on her face. “Eli, I don’t care that you’re poor. I wouldn’t care if you had a ton of money. I like you for you and that’s all that matters. I want to be with you forever, Eli.” She gave him a hug.

  Eli wrapped his arms around his girlfriend. She felt so wonderful. “I want to be with you forever, too, Moni.”

  “I wanna be with you forever, Moni.” Tony mocked from the doorway and made kissy faces. “Mom said hurry up and get your asses downstairs or there won’t be any food for you.”

  Eli pulled away from Simone and slapped the back of Tony’s head. “I told you I don’t want to get into the habit of popping you in the back of the head because you say something stupid.”

  ****

  “All right, everyone, gather around.” Nicola sat down at the dinner table. “Be on your best behavior because we have a guest tonight.” She then looked Simone’s plate. She only had a single slice of pizza but Nicola knew her boys. Those three boxes of pizza were going to be gone before they even finished the second slice. “Eli, put some more pizza on Simone’s plate.”

  “Oh, I’m okay, Nicola,” Simone reassured her, “I’m a light eater.”

  “That’s cute,” Nicola smiled. “Eli…”

  Eli grabbed two more slices and placed them on Simone’s plate. “If you can’t finish it, take it home with you.”

  “Because we’ll eat it,” Joey warned.

  “All of it,” Tony added.

  “One thing my boys aren’t, are liars,” Nicola smiled. “N
ow let’s say grace and eat.”

  After dinner, Eli, Nicola, Simone, and Joey piled into Nick’s car and headed to Simone’s home. “Now, Mother, we’re just going to talk and be civil.” Nick reminded his mother. He knew behind her calm demeanor, there was the fiery temperament of an Italian mother.

  “I’ll be fine,” Nicola smiled. “I can talk woman-to-woman.”

  “We’re not worried about you talking woman-to-woman with her, ma.” Joey chimed in. “We’re worried you will talk fist-to-face.”

  “It’ll be fine,” Nicola reassured. “It’ll be just fine. Look, we’re here. Let me handle everything.”