Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  “It’s just a phase. It’ll calm down soon enough. Come September you’ll be wishing for the business again.” Nicola warmly smiled.

  “I know. I just… I would like to see my husband more than just fleeting mornings and once during the weekend.” Faith tried to hide the worry in her voice. Even when she and Eli were really busy, she never had to wonder when she’d see him again. They had always made time for each other. They would send each other little text messages throughout the day just to check in with one another.

  Now it was barely a kiss in the mornings and maybe a little conversation in the evenings. If it wasn’t for the fact their sex life had picked up recently, she would wonder if there was another woman. She couldn’t quite put a finger on it but something wasn’t right.

  “How’s your sex life?” Nicola asked.

  Nicola’s question sent Faith back down to a stark reality. “Excuse you?”

  “I’m not trying to be nosy with what you and my son are doing in the bedroom. I’m just wondering if your sex life is healthy and active.” Nicola smiled.

  “It’s fine,” Faith said with hasten.

  Nicola slightly shrugged in self-defense. “I’m just checking, that’s all.” She began to put the food away. “You two have always had a solid marriage, and if anything is wrong, I would like to know so I could help. I have friends who are marriage and family therapists.”

  “Thank you for your assistance, Nicola, but we’re fine.” Faith couldn’t quite believe what she’d just said. Even though it was the truth, it felt like she was hiding a secret. “But I’ll let you know about the therapy.”

  “You’re welcome.” Nicola smiled. “Besides there was something else I wanted to talk to you about privately, since Eli doesn’t like to hear this kind of stuff.”

  “Oh?” Faith became intrigued. “What is it?”

  “I had a dream about another rainbow!” Nicola beamed.

  Eight

  Four-year-old Nathan D’Amato sat at the family dining table, playing with the strawberries and raspberries on his breakfast plate. The strawberries were attacking the raspberries and there was no help insight. It wasn’t until the blueberries and blackberries came to help the raspberries, did they save the day.

  “And the crowd goes wild! Rahhhhhhh!” Nathan mimicked.

  “Hey, warrior,” Eli put down his morning paper and took a sip of his cappuccino. “Eat your pancakes.”

  Nathan took a bite of his pancakes and slowly chewed them. “Daddy?” His small voice echoed in the townhome.

  “Yes?”

  “I know what I want for my birthday.” He took another bite of food.

  “Chew your food, then swallow it.” Eli instructed. “Don’t get into the habit of talking with your mouth full. That’s rude. I’m teaching you how to be a gentleman.”

  “A what?” Nathan repeated.

  “A gentleman. A man with class like your dad and your uncles.” Eli smiled. “Now, chew and swallow. Then ask me what you want.”

  Nathan quickly swallowed his food and took a sip of orange juice. “I know what I want for my birthday.”

  “Oh?” Eli folded his paper. Even though Nathan just celebrated his fourth birthday not too long ago, he was already planning ahead to his next birthday. Eli couldn’t knock his son’s ambitions; he simply took after his father. “And what does little man want for his birthday?”

  “I want pizza and ice cream!” He giggled.

  “Ooh, that’s a lot for you, little man. That’s all you want? No toys?”

  “I want toys! I want toys!” Nathan nodded.

  “Okay, what about this?” Eli leaned closer to his son. “Let’s talk about your next birthday when it gets closer to it? Deal?” He held out a hand.

  “Deal!” Nathan slapped his father’s hand.

  “All right,” Eli smiled and gathered Nathan’s plate. He was happy that he ate just about all of his fruits. “Go potty and wash up. Then I’m going to drop you off at daycare.”

  Eli cleared the dishes and set them in the dishwasher. He then briefly wiped down the counter to make it look presentable. Growing up, he was always responsible for chores and became a perfectionist on making the kitchen spotless. He loathed how his brothers would always come in and leave a mess as if he never cleaned it at all. He always vowed to do the same at their respective residences.

  “Good morning, my king,” Faith walked over to her husband and kissed him.

  “Good morning, my queen,” Eli glanced at his watch, “you just barely caught me. Little man and I are getting ready to leave. That reminds me, I need to check on him to make sure he didn’t get piss everywhere.”

  “I thought you were using Cheerios?” Faith asked.

  “Each time I bring out the Cheerios, he wants to eat them instead trying to aim for them in the toilet.” Eli laughed. “I’ll think of something. Anyway, the coffee is made and I have some leftover pancakes and bacon in the microwave.” He began to leave.

  “Um, baby? Aren’t you forgetting something?” Faith asked, with her arms folded.

  Eli stopped and turned around. “How could I forget?” He walked over to his wife, snaked his arms around her waist and gave her a deep and sensual kiss. “Good-bye, baby. I love you.” He then left.

  Faith stood still in the kitchen, stunned. She was happy with the kiss her husband gave her but that wasn’t what she was expecting. Maybe he left her surprise in the microwave with breakfast. She hurried to the microwave and it was nothing. Just pancakes, bacon, fruit, with a side of whipped cream.

  She hurried to the refrigerator and opened it. She opened up every single cabinet and pulled out all of the appliances for her scavenger hunt. Every year, her husband would leave her something nice and would send her on a hunt to find it. Except this year was different. He obviously left her with nothing. Exhausted, Faith collapsed on the floor and huffed in silence.

  Her husband really forgot it was her birthday.

  ****

  Eli dropped Nathan off at daycare and headed to the Manhattan location of Madre’s. He had a very busy day ahead of him, cramming several appointments and floral arrangements into just a few hours. As he pulled into the parking lot, he saw the delivery guys on their way out. “Is that going to my wife’s shop?”

  “Yes, sir.” One delivery guy replied back. “Ten dozen roses for her.”

  “It’s going to look like a floral shop exploded in her salon!” The other delivery guy commented.

  “Great!” Eli smiled. Every year he did a scavenger hunt for Faith, making her seek out the gift he bought for her. He always hid the gift in the kitchen, but felt it was becoming too predictable. Instead, he left the gift in her salon, taped under her chair, with several arrows leading from the front door to it. “She’s pissed at me because she thought I forgot her birthday so this will really get her. All right, fellas. When you get back, see me. I’ve got a big tip waiting for you both.”

  Eli stepped out of his SUV and walked through the front doors of Madre’s. As standard, he walked up to every table and introduced himself and welcomed the new patrons. He made his way over to another table with a woman meeting with his mother.

  “Buongiorno, mio figlio.” Nicola greeted her son with a kiss on each cheek. “I want you to meet Pepper Franklin. She’ll be handling the accounts for SHE.”

  Eli felt his heart drop, yet he kept his composure. He briefly scanned the room with his eyes and didn’t see Simone. “Oh? What’s going on?”

  “Nothing, really. Simone thought it would be best that I handled Madre’s.” Pepper warmly smiled.

  There were sudden and inexplicable frustrations that built within Eli’s body. He looked forward to seeing Simone now that she had an account with Madre’s. He knew it was wrong and he knew just being within her presence was setting up an uncontrollable fire he couldn’t afford to put out.

  Most of all, Eli was angry at Simone for abandoning him—again. It was bad enough she left in high school and now she was le
aving again. But she wasn’t going to get off so easily this time. “Is Simone at the office today?”

  “She’ll be in and out. If you want to make an appointment to speak with her, though, you can always e-mail or call her.” Pepper smiled.

  “I will just do that,” Eli hoped his words weren’t as thick with the contempt he currently felt. “Anyway, I hope you ladies have a nice chat. Please let me know if you need anything.” He smiled before he left.

  Nicola glanced back at her son and then began talking to Pepper again. “Such a sweet man, my son is.”

  Eli hurried upstairs and grabbed his cell phone. He quickly messaged Simone before he went back downstairs.

  If Simone thought she could just avoid Eli and be done with it, she had another thing coming.

  ****

  Simone was meeting with a bride and her mother on the lawn of a hotel. The bride wasn’t sure what type of ceremony she wanted to have, bouncing between indoors and outdoors. Simone suggested they look at both to see which would suit her best, and be within her budget. “So, you can see here, the archway would create a beautiful backdrop for your ceremony and we could decorate it with as many or as few flowers as you would like,” Simone demonstrated to them.

  “I already know where I’m getting my flowers!” The bride bounced in her flats. “From Madre’s!”

  Simone bit the inside of her cheek and forced a smile. There went that swell of butterflies in her stomach again, thinking of Eli. “Oh yes, Madre’s. They’re a great place.”

  “Not to mention the eye candy!” The bride’s mother smiled. “The one who does the designs? I told Molly here she should’ve tried to hook up with that one instead of the guy she’s marrying!”

  “Mother!” Molly shook her head, astonished at her mother. “What’s wrong with Todd?

  “Easy,” the mother shrugged, “he’s not the guy at Madre’s.”

  Even though Madre’s did have several other male employees, a few who have worked the front desk, Simone knew the women were referring to Eli. He was always present in the shops, alternating days between the Manhattan and NYC locations. His reputation for being eye candy along with his incredible floral designs gave a lot of women reasons to visit Madre’s on any given day of the week. The fact he was married also made the women incredibly jealous of his wife.

  Faith, his wife.

  Simone felt the vibration from her phone and retrieved it from her clutch purse. She had already regretted it when she saw the text.

  You and I need to talk.

  Simone stared long and hard at the text Eli sent her. She already knew what he wanted to talk to her about and she was half-tempted to tell him to leave her alone. It wasn’t high school; they were two grown adults who had businesses and families. They could be civilized and respectful towards each other without resorting to name-calling or being immature.

  They were also two grown adults who wanted to do grown-up things with each other, something Eli must have felt or he wouldn’t be demanding to speak with Simone. She decided if Eli wanted to talk with her, they were going to talk at a place that would suit them both—somewhere public.

  Simone took a deep breath and replied to Eli. Tonight at Gino’s. 6 p.m. Be there or be square.

  ****

  Eli was finishing up paperwork in his office when he received a text from Simone. He shook his head and simply smiled at it. Be there or be square. She would always say that to him back in high school whenever they were making plans to meet each other. It was one of the unique traits about her and what separated her from the other girls on campus.

  Meeting with Simone was going to good for him. He would finally be able to get her out of his system, once and for all, so he could devote his full attention to his business and to Faith. He was especially glad they were meeting somewhere public. There would be no telling what was going to happen if they met somewhere private.

  ****

  Eli waited for Simone in a private booth, occasionally looking around to see if he could spot her. He took a sip of his bourbon and wondered what was taking Simone so long. He then remembered he arrived early and she was actually on time.

  He had no reason to be nervous, come to think of it. They were two adults who were going to meet regarding the change in business between them. After that, she would be on her merry way and he would go home to Faith and Nathan.

  That’s the lie he told himself. Ever since he saw her walk through the doors at Madre’s, Simone had been a permanent fixture in Eli’s brain, almost consuming his thoughts. He wanted to know where she was, how her day was going, what her interests were. He wanted to know if she was a screamer, if she was quiet, did she know how to ride, if she liked to suck cock.

  He felt horrible. He had no reason to lust after another woman when he had everything at home, currently waiting for him. But he needed to see if the urge he was feeling with Simone was something real or just made up fantasy in his sex-starved head. Though he wished it were just fantasies, they were getting a little out of control lately, fantasizing about fucking Simone up against a wall with him cradling her ass and her legs wrapped around his back. “Eli…” she panted as they moved in unison. “Fuck me, Eli.”

  “You seem tense,” Simone stood next to the booth.

  Her voice awakened Eli from his daydreaming. He stood up and gave her a light hug and sat back down. “I was in deep thought.”

  “Is everything okay?” Simone removed her jacket.

  Eli took another sip of his bourbon. “I don’t know, you tell me.” His eyes cut to her. “What’s going on, Moni?”

  A waitress came by and took Simone’s drink order then left. Simone clasped her hands and rubbed her palms together. “I think it’s in our best interests to not work directly with each other. I’m not terminating the contract SHE signed with Madre’s. I think we both can benefit from our partnership. I just don’t need to handle the day-to-day affairs.”

  “Is it something I did? I apologize if I said or did something inappropriate.” Eli offered.

  Simone wanted to be completely honest and tell her former boyfriend that being around him was completely inappropriate but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Her feelings for Eli were leading the charge, taking over any sort of common sense and reason. “You didn’t, Eli.” Simone replied. “I just don’t think we need to see each other all the time to conduct business.” She thanked the waitress for her cocktail and took a sip. “Don’t you agree?”

  Fuck, no. “If you say so,” he smiled. “I just wanted to make sure our relationship was still cool, that’s all. Your friendship is very dear to me, Moni.”

  Moni. Moni. Moni. Would Eli please stop calling her that? It rolled off his tongue like sweet molasses being poured on a biscuit. She took a big gulp of her drink. “And the same for you.”

  Eli watched his ex’s lips hug the glass and he felt jealous. Why weren’t they wrapped around his… “So, you never did tell me if there was another man who was capturing your attention lately?”

  “Because there isn’t anything to tell.” She smiled something delicious. “I’m very much single.”

  Eli couldn’t understand the sudden elation he felt when he heard that. A weird jealousy was forming within his body. Simone was free to date whomever she wanted and Eli was very married, so why did he care who kept her bed warm at night? “You don’t sound too happy about it.”

  Simone gave a shrug. “Being single in New York is hard.”

  “What?” Eli laughed off her complaint. “Man, being single in New York is where it’s at!”

  “So you say,” Simone countered.

  “You can go out to all these get-togethers, meet new people and have your choice of date any day of the week.” He countered. “Women in New York have it much easier than the men.”

  “How so?” Simone challenged.

  “You talk to a guy, show a little interest, this guy is willing to drop a small fortune to wine and dine you and he’ll be lucky if he even gets a
kiss at the end of the night.” Eli smirked to which Simone laughed. “What? It’s not true?”

  “But hey, some of us single ladies have to go through boring guys and sit through a guy who only talk about himself.” Simone lightly waved as to dismiss Eli’s complaints. “Not to mention the ballers who really are living in their momma’s basement. Talking about how they’re a CEO of some clothing line, some rap label, and they can’t even spell millionaire. So yes, sometimes a kiss is the only thing we’re going to give at the end of the night.”

  “What about the chicks that start planning their wedding within the first minute?” Eli countered. “I’ve had that happen a few times.”