The Separation

by Thomas Duffy

  “How about next weekend?”

  “Is that OK with her?”

  “I'm pretty sure. We connected well and we're off weekends.”

  “So set it up. I'll tell your father.”

  “Thanks. Talk to you soon.”

  When Finn invited Angela to his parents' house for dinner through an e-mail, she was a little surprised. She thought it was too soon and told Finn to postpone the plans for a few weeks until they had gotten to know each other a little better. She wanted to see if they made it past more of the initial stages of the dating process before she met his parents.

  At Finn's job, he started to revel in his daily activities and was a wizard of numbers who was working quicker than any other employee. Other workers believed he was quite ambitious since he was still fairly new at his position. They sometimes thought he was just looking for a promotion. He was really working so fast in order to move his work days along quicker so he could see Angela on the weekend.

  Finn felt his next date would be special and yearned for the feelings he had when he gone on his first date with Angela. Finn's emotions were far more than that of a sexual nature. His emotions were running rampant as he felt an attachment to her that he could not explain. He couldn't inform her of the way he was feeling because he didn't want to frighten her away.

  Their next date was at an ice skating rink. Finn had never ice skated before but Angela had when she was in her first years of school. One of her teachers took her and other students ice skating for a class trip. That was when Angela was nine years old. She was now twenty-five.

  With modern, innocuous pop music blasting in the background, Angela was skating circles around Finn who wasn't able to stand on his feet too long wearing the ice skates. She was teaching him how to stand up straight and maintain balance on the ice. Finn, always a quick learn in his studies, couldn't balance himself up on the ice without Angela's help. He enjoyed the lessons and, eventually, stood up straight on his own two feet as he held hands with Angela and they skated circles around the rink.

  Balance was the key to ice skating successfully, according to Angela. Finn's heart was racing the whole time she was showing him what to do. Finn couldn't wait to eat as the ice skating session was coming to an end.

  Afterwards, they had lunch together at a quaint restaurant on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Angela was feeling great about the day she shared with Finn. She wanted to learn more about him so she asked him a question.

  “What is it like to work for such a successful company?”

  “The company you work for isn't too shabby now, is it?”

  “It's no RM&R, though.”

  “There are days that it is rewarding beyond the obvious financial ways.”

  “How so?”

  “Let's not talk about work. Let's talk about you. What are you passionate about in the new world? What motivates you other than your job?”

  “I don't know the answer to that question. I've been raised to believe success would come in terms of riches but now with this new revelation of the opposite sex, I'm led to think that my life is a big question mark for which I have no answers.”

  “I've felt like that sometimes. Life is work. Work is money. Money is survival.”

  “I can understand that philosophy but something in my mind always told me there was more to this world.”

  “The world is so complicated. I just want to know what it's like to have a friend.”

  “I've never had a true friend.”

  “Has anyone our age really had such a friend?”

  “How could we? We were taught to fight for wealthy and material success. Humanity was mentioned in our classes for sure, but I don't think we've really implemented true understanding of things such as happiness and love.”

  “Being here with you right now leads me to wonder what kind of happiness would await getting to know you better.”

  Finn looked Angela in her eyes and she had tears forming in them. He truly believed getting to know her would make him happier than he had ever been before.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When Finn went to his home, he turned on the news. It was almost all good news being shared on the television. From new job creation by political leaders to sports victories by the home teams, most of the news was a good thing these days.

  Finn was deemed a superstar and one of the quickest rising employees in his company. He took over a leadership role within his company and felt successful in what he did. When he would arrive home from his job, there were many graduate schools trying to recruit him. There were some schools in which he would probably stand a good chance of receiving full scholarships. However, he was not ready for that.

  Finn wanted to know Angela better. The thought of her saturated his mind in the latter part of his work days. He couldn't wait for his work day to end when it was three quarters of the way done. He wanted to arrive home to talk to Angela via Skype chat or see her in person for an evening meal.

  Days went on and he learned of Angela's passion for artistic things. She found herself doing pottery sometimes as well as sculpting. She was also fond of knitting. These things which she learned in her early school days helped her pass the time during her lonely periods. At dinner one Wednesday evening after work, she was seated across from Finn at a restaurant when she began to tell Finn about her feelings after college.

  “I was so happy to meet my parents. The notion of family as it really is, not how we were taught in school it is, is so important. We need to know we come from somewhere. The stork is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I can't believe us young people can be so naïve. It's not fair we were lied to.”

  “We weren't lied to. We were protected for our greater good. Or so we were told.”

  “I started one of those post graduate courses on realities we were never taught and was so appalled the first few days, I respectfully dismissed myself from the class.”

  “I just wanted to survive. That was my motivation for doing as well as I did in school. To be able to survive in this fierce world with its survival of the fittest mentality, well, that was my greatest ambition.”

  “You seem to be doing a fine job of surviving just fine, Finn.”

  Angela smiled at Finn. Finn knew she was attracted to him both physically and intellectually. It was taking the relationship to the next physical level that challenged them. They were both so curious about learning how sexual relations felt. Finn didn't want a child so young despite his financial abilities to support one. He was afraid the emotional impact of the separation from the child would impact his career. Angela seemed content with working and seeing Finn on dates.

  Finn and Angela would kiss a lot. Their kissing sessions would stimulate them sexually but they never acted on their sexual feelings towards one another. Despite the protection condoms offered from pregnancy, Finn and Angela both thought of sex as something that was not to be taken lightly. Their feelings were strong for one another. It was just that the notion of sex seemed much more complex than anything else in the world. Sex was something neither of them cared to explore at the present time. As Finn started to find comfort in his ever growing bank account, Angela started to take her love for artistic freedom to the next level as she began to create quilts which she sold online for substantial profits. Finn and Angela would enjoy their time together and liked dating one another.

  Finn wondered about his parents, however. He yearned to know them better. He wanted to know more about the people who brought him into the world. One Saturday, he went to visit his parents at the hospital in which they worked. His dad was busy working and couldn't take a lunch break. His mother, Carolina, agreed to meet him in the cafeteria for lunch at noon.

  When lunchtime arrived, Carolina met Finn. After they walked around the cafeteria selecting food for lunch, they sat down across from one another.

  “Thanks for coming to see me,” Carolina said.

  “Of course, any time. You’re my mother. I want to get to know yo
u.”

  “I have to tell you something, Finn. Promise not to take this the wrong way.”

  “I won't take it the wrong way.”

  “Good. Ever since I married your father some twenty-plus years ago, I always wondered what my son, you, would be like. Giving you up to be educated was certainly not easy on me. I received your progress reports and pictures but never saw you and my heart wondered what it would be like to see you in person take your first step or watch you on your first day of school.”

  “That wasn't even a possibility. You know the world in which we live. Why do you think of the impossible? Dreaming for the impossible has dismal consequences.”

  “I guess you're right Finn. But, I have more to tell you.”

  “What is it, Mom?”

  “I guess when you came home after college, I wanted to see you more often. You left to get a job and moved out in record time. And, I feel like a piece of my life I've been waiting to find for twenty something years is incomplete. I want to know you more. I want to know this lady you are dating. Please have her meet me and your father one day soon.”

  “One day soon for sure.”

  “I'm sorry for being so emotional today.”

  “It's no problem. Maybe we could spend more time together. When you and dad are off from work tomorrow, I'll stop by.”

  “I'd like that. Would you bring your lady friend?”

  “She's not ready to meet you guys quite yet.”

  “Well when she's ready then?”

  “When she's ready.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Finn left the hospital and boarded a train back to his apartment. On his wall were pictures of the sun, the sky and of him in his college graduation attire. When the next day arrived, Finn went on a date with Angela where they started to discuss their relationship in detail over coffee at a diner.

  “I find myself drawn to you, Angela. It's not even making sense how much I think about what it would be like to have you next to me in bed at night.”

  “Finn, you're not seeing the bigger picture. We were deprived of sexual feelings for all those years so we could make more of ourselves and, now, I feel more determined to make money and create great art than ever. I enjoy your company and want to continue seeing you. But, sex is not in the equation for us, yet.”

  “I didn't say I thought about sex with you. I said I thought about having you in my bed at night.”

  “I want to be in your bed too but don't you think if we cuddled, we'd be tempted to stray from our professional responsibilities and ambitions?”

  “My ambitions are starting to become repetitious and my responsibilities are not fulfilling me as much as I thought they would. I may be doing my own laundry and cooking my own dinner on nights I don't go out to eat with you but I'm certainly not being fulfilled intellectually or emotionally by such mundane tasks.”

  “I understand, Finn.”

  “Can't we just kiss and watch television together? That's all I really want.”

  “I don't want to be tempted. I am thinking of actually taking up painting which is something I started in school when I was younger.”

  “What do you want to paint?”

  “Maybe a portrait of you?”

  “If you're questioning what kind of art you want to make then maybe there's a little more uncertainty in your ambitions than you'd care to admit.”

  “There's nothing but certainty that I want you to make love to me completely but I'm not ready for the consequences of acting on such desire.”

  “When will you be ready?”

  “After I finish knitting tonight, perhaps.”

  “Then, let me come over and then I'll be there just in case you are ready.”

  “To rush me is to not respect me.”

  “I won't rush you. We'll just be together to see how you feel after you knit.”

  “I'm knitting a sweater. You'd be bored watching me.”

  “I could never be bored watching you.”

  “Then there's the matter of getting to sleep on time to get up early for work tomorrow.”

  “I have a sick day. I feel like getting sick tonight with you so I can call out tomorrow.”

  “You're funny. I don't care to use my sick time so carelessly. I plan on visiting Australia. My company wants to do a project there and I want to visit before I decide whether I want to transfer there to work.”

  “You're considering transferring to a job in Australia?”

  “Yeah. A temp job, Finn. Relax.”

  “Relax. There's no way I can relax when I'm around you.”

  “I understand but relaxation is an important part of sustaining life.”

  After dinner, Finn and Angela decided to end the evening and return to their respective homes. Getting up early for work the next day was their agreed number one priority. There was a long, passionate kiss goodnight between them before Angela entered her apartment. Angela's heart would skip a beat or two when she would send Finn on his way home after kissing him goodnight. She wanted him to stay with her for a whole night but she knew she needed to wait to act on such desires she had towards him.

  On the way back to his home, Finn dialed his father, Kevin, on his cell phone. He informed his dad that he needed to discuss some things with him.

  “What do you need to talk about, Finn? It's a little late to be calling. Don't you think?”

  “Dad. I am in love with this girl I am seeing as my mother probably told you.”

  “I think she mentioned it. I'm happy for you, Finn.”

  “I just don't understand why I feel like I can't fight the desire for sexual intimacy with her.”

  “You have to fight it until she's ready to let you have that kind of relationship with her.”

  “I can't talk about this with friends at work. It's not professional. I need to ask you because you’re my father. What should I do when I so aroused thinking of her?”

  “Take another pill. See a doctor. This girl is smart. She's going to wait for intimacy, most likely. If you need intimacy either find someone less educated or wait. I can't give you an easy answer. Or go to the doctor for a desire suppression pill. They work for me when your mother can't find the time for sex which is mostly every day these days.”

  “Dad, I didn't need to know that.”

  “Well, Finn, as the expression used to go way before I was born, 'take a chill pill.' There's some truth behind those corny words. So much truth you have no idea.”

  “Thanks for the advice.”

  “Any time.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Finn was offered a promotion at work but respectfully declined the offer for advancement within his company. Apparently, money was coming in comfortably enough for him that he didn't feel it was necessary to take the new job at the present time.

  Finn was consumed with his feelings for Angela. He also decided he wanted to learn a little of the literary material he was deprived of in school. He went to the library one Saturday morning to check out Ernest Hemingway's “The Sun Also Rises.” He had heard from a colleague it was a wonderful literary work and Finn read it from cover to cover before a date with Angela was to occur later that evening. In the book, a character's inability to function sexually has a major impact on his life. Finn started to see reasons the sexes were divided for young people and only wondered why the world even decided to allow the sexes to meet as people became adults. It seemed reproduction was the key reason why. It was the continuation of the survival of human beings. Finn believed if not for that reason, it may have been safer for the sexes to remain divided.

  Finn was dangerously close to ending his relationship with Angela to pursue a woman who didn't think so intensely about life. Finn's hormones were getting the best of him and despite the occasional pill taking he would do to suppress his sex drive, he wondered what sex between a man and a woman would be like. He was also fascinated by the idea of combining his intelligence with Angela's to create a new life which he hoped would have loo
ks that were as appealing as he felt both his and Angela's were.

  On the dinner date with Angela that Saturday night, Finn started to pretend sex didn't matter. He talked to Angela about basic day-to-day endeavors. She was happy with such conversation even though Finn felt it was rather trite and insignificant to be talking about the minor details of life such as traveling to work each morning on crowded subway trains and going food shopping. Then, Angela brought up the topic of sex.

  “Finn, I've felt so much lately towards you that I've dreamt of what sex would be like if we were to pursue having it.”

  “Tonight, unfortunately, I'm on the pill.”

  “What pill is that?”

  “The sex drive suppression medication I've been taking, of course.”

  “I wasn't implying we would have sex tonight.”

  “I figured that. Otherwise, I would have called my doctor to get some Viagra this very minute.”

  “It must be interesting to do it. Don't you think?”

  “The consequences are extreme, however. Do you think you are ready for them?”

  “Of course, not. I am still trying to make the money I need to take maternity leave for my pregnancy.”

  “That takes years of work to earn. I can't hold out that long.”

  “That's why I've thought about that birth control pill.”

  “How about marriage?”

  “Marriage should not be taken lightly. To think, all those years back, they once granted divorces so easily. Only one in six couples these days can even get a court case opened for divorce proceedings leaving the other five stuck together hating one another.”

  “That's why we were taught indirectly that the opposite sex, if we choose to pursue it, is more complex than youthful education can sufficiently cover.”

  “Finn, what do you do at work all day?”

  “Crunch numbers. It's boring, really.”

  “Money is a powerful thing. For who do you crunch numbers if you don't mind me asking?”

  “People who I prefer not to speak of, for privacy reasons.”

  “I suppose there's no way to wake up that sex drive of you in time for a sex session tonight.”