The Separation

by Thomas Duffy

  “You make me so jealous, Finn.”

  “Why would I make you jealous?”

  “You walk the planet, still, even after your life should have ended. It should have ceased to exist many years back.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I'm going to contact Angela. With your permission, of course.”

  “Why would you contact her?”

  “I want to grant you the wish to see her one more time before you die.”

  “She's happy isn't she?”

  “I wouldn't say she's happy. Content is probably the word to best describe the current state of her existence.”

  “I want her to stay content. She has a new family now, does she not?”

  “If you died without seeing her, would you feel like you lost out?”

  “I don't understand what you mean.”

  “You've made this undeniable impression on so many of your students but it's your wife, I believe, who's suffered the most without seeing you for all these years.”

  “Don't contact her. I'm ready to go. Let me die.”

  “You're still working. I want you to quietly disappear from all activities at your school and officially retire. I mean really retire. I want you to go into hiding. Your death can't just be some unexpected scenario that would baffle everyone. I want you to write a note.”

  “I don't care to write a note.”

  “Upon your death, we'll most likely end separation laws once and for all. But, not until you're gone.”

  “That's a lot of pressure to put on one man.”

  “You're more than a man. You've become a phenomenon in this thing called life. Those who admire you have the fondest admiration for you. I don't think you have any idea how well respected you really are by those who have gotten to know you. There's a reason we let you live as long you have lived.”

  “Do you think I could write a note to give to Angela?”

  “I think you should tell her how you feel in person. She's known that her life will continue as is once you're gone.”

  “I truly believe seeing somebody you love in their flesh and blood is really much more preferable to other methods of communication.”

  “Angela would be complete if she saw you.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “I am assuming but those who I've spoken to would probably testify to the fact that she still loves you.”

  “Who have you spoken to?”

  “Again, Finn, with all the questions. This is a time for resolve and not a time to be asking questions.”

  “Why do you keep visiting me? Can't you let me find a way to die in peace.”

  “But, of course, I could Finn. But, you're interesting. I'm going to miss you. We all are.”

  “I'm thinking seeing Angela again may not be such a bad idea.”

  “Then, I'll arrange it. You'll be hearing from me. Get out quietly and go teach something. We'll be in touch.”

  Finn stepped out of the limo. He started to feel excitement and his heart raced at the thought of seeing his ex-wife one more time. Seeing her those years back was supposed to be near the end for him. He felt the time that was given to him after that encounter was precious and a gift even though it would probably have been more fruitful to have spent that time with Angela.

  Days passed and soon weeks before Joe, Jr. came back in the limousine. All Finn had thought about recently was a world without separation laws for everyone. It was a beautiful thought that the world could be lived in a way that Finn deemed was the right way. When Joe, Jr. arrived to speak to him in the limo, Finn stepped in the vehicle with great anticipation.

  “Hi, Finn,” Joe, Jr. said.

  “How's Angela?”

  “She's OK.”

  “When do I see her?”

  “You must retire first for the official meeting to occur with Angela.”

  “What else must I do?”

  “The red tape is extensive. It may be much easier to retire and move on to your final resting place.”

  “I don't care what's easier. I want to see my wife. I love her so much. Thoughts of her have plagued my mind lately. You have no idea how you're messing with me with these false promises.”

  “False promises?”

  “You've promised I'd die several times before promising me I'd see Angela again.”

  “That's the way things are. The world fucks with us all, Finn. It's not my fault all the bullshit we have here has to be done the right way.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Things must be done in such a way that those powerful people from who I come from have no trace to you. Their association with you could never be discovered.”

  “Can't you see to that?”

  “Most likely.”

  “Aren't people seeing me get in the limo when you show up?”

  “People know nothing. They see nothing. It's not the common man who disturbs my thoughts. It's those higher up. Those who watch the cameras in society to make sure everyone is doing the right thing. There may be one such person who knows too much. It's not a primary concern for me but I think about it.”

  “What did Angela say?”

  “She'll see you again when you're ready. I told her six months. So retire after this semester and go somewhere far. Somewhere within a district of the mixed sexes. We'll see to it that you are granted more than just a visit this time.”

  “How?”

  “All strings will be pulled accordingly. Do as we discuss. The rest will fall into place.”

  “I'm afraid.”

  “Afraid?”

  “Of the end.”

  “We all are. It's my certainty that there is most likely no afterlife.”

  “I'm still hoping.”

  “You always hope. It's your downfall.”

  “It keeps me functioning. This thing known as hope.”

  “I can't say definitively there's no chance of life after death. The odds are slim though.”

  “What's the answer then? What's the origin of human beings? Is evolution is the answer?”

  “That's another ridiculous concept. If we all started out as monkeys, then we'd all look like monkeys. I think the true facts behind the origin of human beings are more than either one of us could fathom.”

  “I'm going to retire.”

  “Do just that. I'll find you. I'll arrange a meeting between you and Angela.”

  “I'm just worried that she won't want to see me.”

  “Don't worry about that. She will want to see you, undoubtedly.”

  “Tell her I love her, please.”

  “You'll tell her face-to-face soon enough.”

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  Finn officially put in his retirement notice. Shortly thereafter, he was given an award which celebrated his career at a prestigious ceremony that his school held. He went to a mixed sexes location out east to wait for Joe, Jr. to arrive and tell him where he would reunite with Angela. Several months passed. During those months, Finn went places throughout the integrated state he found himself living in. He went to museums wondering if the facts that were being discussed there were actually real. He read literature he admired in his field of study and solved countless mathematical equations for fun to see if he still possessed his knowledge. He was a master of solving such problems now and was able to do all his work in his head. He didn't need to show work on paper to himself to prove he could get the right answers. Mostly, he took his medication and, while he was awake, he tried to envision a world without separation laws for the future generations of society.

  Almost a year passed and he still had not heard from Joe, Jr. Finn wondered if something had happened that would have changed his fate. Maybe Joe, Jr. and his group of “the powers that be” had a different fate in store for Finn now. Finn often thought it was too good to be true to actually see his ex-wife again. Where was Joe, Jr. Where was anybody to take him away from the world he lived in? As nobody showed up when one year’s time accumulated
, Finn believed he was granted another chance at life and decided to place an ad on an Internet dating site for people in their twilight years.

  Finn went through the slim selection of women rather quickly trying to see if he could partake in the new virtual dating feature which allowed you to go on a date from your home. Both the male and the female would sit in front of the screen and talk to each other. This was a dating method once frowned upon but was now commonly accepted. It was a stepping stone to an in-person date. Finn didn't seem to want to connect with anyone. He wasn't sexually available so dating seemed pointless. He knew he loved Angela. That was the only woman he wanted to see before his time was up. He was tempted to search the world wide web to see if anything had ever been shared on his son, Leonardo. Nothing would have been shared about him unless he had escaped the same sex sector he was assigned to work in.

  Finn waited and waited. For days he waited. Soon, he wanted to go back to work. His bank account was sufficient as he wasn't doing anything particularly costly. However, he felt useless waiting for a fate that would never come. In his opinion, life was pointless without someone to love. He yearned for a love that had already been established to re-enter his life. He remembered that Joe, Jr. had mentioned that separation laws were going to soon be abolished. However, online magazines offered no such hope through the news they were recently spreading.

  Time had passed. It was a full three years later when the limousine showed up in front of Finn's home. Joe, Jr. stepped out of the limo yet another time. As he walked towards Finn's home, he removed his sunglasses to more clearly see the bell which would be rung to bring Finn outside.

  When Finn opened the door, Joe, Jr. put his arm around Finn and walked him over to the limo. Finn wondered what was going to happen next as they sat beside each other in the vehicle.

  “Finn. I'm late. I'm sorry. I had other matters that I had to attend to. I am so sorry. Please forgive my tardiness.”

  “Where's Angela?”

  “She's not available at this moment. That's what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “What do you mean she's not available at this moment? Will she be available soon?”

  “Angela's not available in the flesh at the present time.”

  “What did you do to her?”

  “I didn't do anything. She took her own life.”

  “When?”

  “More than two and a half years ago. I was confused. I didn't know how to reunite with you and tell you that she was no longer among the living. And I didn't know how to tell you that you'd no longer see her alive.”

  “I think you're full of it. Where is she?”

  “Why do you think you're alive?”

  “I don't know. I've never known. Why have you kept me alive all these years?”

  “We kept you alive because you were quite valuable to society when you taught. You were more valuable as a single man than you would have been as a married one. We were more than happy to suppress you of your sex drive to see you develop all the talent which you did during your extended teaching career.”

  “My career. Is that all that mattered to you in regards to my so-called life?”

  “It's all that really matters to us in anybody's life. People are born to work and that's the real purpose they're here. To make money for society to prosper. Survival of the species is essential which is why there is sex but love that's just a temporary feeling we use to get people to do things that cost money like have children and get divorced.”

  “When you say 'we,' who exactly are you referring to?”

  “You always ask the difficult questions, Finn. That's why we love you!”

  “Was she cloned or anything of that sort?”

  “Have you been watching movies? Where would you get this unusual cloning idea?”

  “I read an article in a journal the other day.”

  “It's bullshit. Cloning isn't going to be a real part of traditional society. I promise you that.”

  “I want Angela. I want to see her smile one last time.”

  “What if I said you could stop taking your medication and fall in love again in your old age?”

  “I'd say that I could never fall in love again at this age. I've thought about it. It's impossible.”

  “What do you have left to accomplish in your time remaining?”

  “Nothing. My wife is dead and my son is banished. Where does that leave me? Please let me know. I need to know.”

  “Perhaps, we could let you dream again. Dreams are very important towards the end of life. They keep hope alive.”

  “I dream.”

  “Excuse me. Have you stopped taking your medication?”

  “I dream while I'm awake. Every day I have contact with another human being, I dream to myself, silently, that the person would turn into Angela or Leonardo. I could see the people I love again in my dreams. Dreams which nobody could ever tell I am having. I dream while walking and talking and nobody can recognize it. Yes. I dream while I am awake. I dream more awake than I ever dreamt while I was asleep.”

  “Wow. I didn't think you still let your personal life interfere with your professional.”

  “I've hidden it for so long. I know I sometimes believed I didn't care anymore but now, as I come closer to the end of life, I yearn, so desperately, for love once again.”

  “Separation laws will end soon. People won't have to suffer the way you once did.”

  “When?”

  “When you end, separation laws end. Hopefully once and for all.”

  “It's that simple. The world rests on the life of one man.”

  “Not just any man. You.”

  “I'm flattered.”

  “You should be.”

  “I want to sing a song that I wrote.”

  “To who?”

  “Somebody.”

  “There's no particular audience you still associate with. Have you taken singing lessons?”

  “No. I just want my voice to be heard. My song comes from the heart.”

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  Finn and Joe, Jr. faced each other in a moment of silence. Finn asked him if he would listen to his song.

  “I'm not a judge or expert in the area of song.”

  “I'm not asking to be judged. I'm asking to be heard.”

  “I'll hear you, Finn,” Joe, Jr. stated.

  Finn started to slowly sing lyrics of the song he had written, “I was born to know love. Love which I once had. Love which left my life quicker than I had hoped. Now, I'm all alone in silence. Dreaming while awake. I never lost sight of my hopes. I've held on for so long. I've reached for the stars so much but, now, I dream while I'm awake. I wish for all my hopes to become reality and I cry. I sigh. I live in fear that my love will go unreceived but I dream while I'm awake.”

  Joe, Jr. was crying after he heard the lyrics Finn sang. Finn stopped singing. He looked ahead behind Joe, Jr. and saw, out of the corner of his eye, a flashback in front of him to the day he met Angela. Joe, Jr. put his arms around Finn.

  “It's going to be OK, Finn.”

  “Thanks. But I know it's not.”

  Finn closed his eyes and Joe, Jr. pulled from his left pocket a switchblade. He moved it close to Finn's heart. Finn couldn't feel the tip of the blade close to him. Finn was feeling things far beyond the physical as Joe, Jr. was contemplating going to stab him. Then, Joe, Jr. dropped the switchblade and as it fell to the floor, tears streamed down Finn's cheeks.

  “I've spared your life so many times, Finn.”

  “Spare it no more.”

  “I can't be the one who ends your life.”

  “I won't end my life. Life is too precious to end without Angela or Leonardo by my side to witness it.”

  “Angela is already gone. Leonardo doesn't know you exist. I really think you're an outcast, Finn.”

  “What are we going to do with me, then?”

  “Good question.”

  Joe, Jr. picked up the phone and dialed a number. Fin
n had no idea who he was calling. When somebody on the other end answered, Joe, Jr. spoke.

  “Finn is alive.”

  The person on the other end responded, “Why can't you do your job?”

  “Why don't you do yours? I'm sorry, sir. You want him gone so badly. Wipe him out yourself. I'm done here.”

  “The world will return to a mixed society once this guy is done.”

  “He's not going anywhere. Are you going anywhere, Finn?”

  “I don't know, sir.”

  “I'm leaving. Go home, Finn,” Joe, Jr. said as he ended his phone call.

  “Go home for what?”

  “Get out of the damn limo, now!”

  “OK, Joe. I'm gone.”

  Finn stepped out of the limo and walked back inside his home. He turned on the virtual dating site online to try to find a new date. Perhaps, he would begin again. Nobody seemed to want to kill him and he knew he wasn't going to kill himself.

  Three days passed, and Finn turned on the television one seemingly uneventful morning. A talk show was airing with a famous philosopher as the guest. In a matter of moments, the show was interrupted by a “special report.” It seemed as if the President of the United States was going to be addressing separation law changes. Finn sat back on his sofa in silence as he was about to listen attentively to what the president had to say.

  “I, the President of the United States, along with other political leaders and activists have hereby declared the end of separation laws throughout the country. These laws were once created to return law and order to society for a greater good. It has been decided by an overall majority that the greater good has been achieved. Thus, we must re-evaluate these laws which were once drawn up for mostly economic reasons. Within a few brief weeks, mixed societies will once prevail and the logistics of how the country will return to an integrated society will be decided...”

  Finn couldn't believe what he was hearing. He raised the volume up. As he heard the President speak words that made him cry, he felt hope once again. A hope in which success seemed to be a true possibility. Finn hoped that the day would come where he would re-unite with his son. Perhaps, he could see his now grown child, and then, possibly, find a new woman to love.

  The President continued speaking to the viewers. Finn listened attentively.

  “Separation laws changed everything. They made society recover some sort of order to what was once a chaotic nation. There is no doubt in my mind that separation laws made life tolerable in a time when it was once intolerable. Change has been made for the good. The results of this change are in front of us. However, I, along with many others, feel that the time has come to restore the old traditional society some of us and our ancestors once experienced. For those who have been separated from their children or their parents, this is a time to rejoice. Things will be better. Going forward, there will be no more practices to segregate the sexes. It is a great time, indeed, to be alive. I promise to restore hope to our nation and integrity to the human spirit...”