MORGAN: A Gripping Arthurian Fantasy Trilogy

by Lavinia Collins

  I nodded, hanging back in the doorway. I did not want him to hand me the child. I didn’t want to look down at my son and feel how much I lacked, how the comfort I had hoped for left me cold.

  “What news from the battlefield?” I asked coldly. The baby gurgled in his arms, and he bounced him a little. He shrugged.

  “It’s over. Well, not over, but the end is decided. On midsummer’s day, Arthur and his knights met with Lot’s forces. Pellinore killed Lot, and his army scattered, but not before Arthur and his knights had cut most of them down. And those that ran, we met them as they tried to cross through the mountains on our borders, and we cut them down. Lothian had many knights, but most of them were mercenaries, and when word spread that their king was dead, they scattered. Lot’s son, Gawain, pledged himself to Arthur.”

  “Gawain pledged to Arthur?” I asked in disbelief. I could have imagined Aggravain would have done it, but not Gawain. I would have thought Gawain would have rather faced death.

  Uriens gave a grim nod. “He was impressed, I think, by Arthur’s strength on the battlefield. And besides, after his father’s death news managed to reach him that Arthur was not just the father of his youngest brother, but also his mother’s brother. With his father dead, the clever young prince of Lothian decided that his blood ran as thick on his mother’s as his father’s side, and pledged to Arthur. The other brother will pledge his faith, too, when the two remaining kings fall. That will not be long. Between Lothian and Logrys, they will be easily crushed, and Arthur will be King of all Britain.”

  I nodded, trying to take it all in. This was what I wanted. Morgawse was safe. War would come to an end. I could not stop thinking about the Breton woman, executed in the courtyard. That was what war made men into. Arthur should have stopped it. I felt my head spinning, and leaned against the doorway. In the corner of my vision, I saw Uriens stand, as though he would come over to help me, but I held up a hand, gesturing him away. I was fine. But I had to decide what my next move was going to be. My next move would have to ensure that I kept Excalibur.

  “Morgan,” he said quietly. I looked up. He had come closer than I had thought. He still held the child, cradled close to his chest with one strong arm, and he leaned back against the wall beside the door, regarding me with a strange detachment. “You dislike me, but your womb likes me well enough, and we should have another child. You cannot – you should not – keep me from your bed forever.”

  I shook my head, stepping back, but I was still dizzy and I had to rest back against the other side of the doorway. I had not thought he would come back. I had not prepared any more of the potion I had given him before. I was weak from bearing the child; I could not hold him off me. The only weapon I had left was fear. I was not even sure that I could hold him back with Excalibur.

  “Don’t you want another child?” he demanded.

  I shook my head. I felt nauseous, and faint. I could feel my stomach turn within me, my vision blur. I thought I had survived having the child, but I must have lost a lot of blood. I knew the signs from the books I had read. I needed to make the medicine for the blood from the book. I went slowly, leaning against the wall, from the room, following the way I knew down to the herb stores. I was pleased that Uriens did not follow me. I heard him call for Elaine. I wondered what he thought she could possibly do to aid the situation.

  When I stumbled out into the courtyard, I saw Accolon notice me, and come over. He glanced around himself before he walked over. He must have been checking for Uriens. He came, and slid an arm around me, holding me around the waist, steadying me.

  “I don’t need your help,” I said, irritably.

  “No, my Lady, you may not need it, but you might benefit from it,” he said, close and quiet. I glanced up at him. There was real concern in his eyes. “Where do you want to go?”

  “I need to go back to the stores.”

  He nodded, and went with me. I resented my own weakness, but I was glad to have someone to lean on, and for him to hold the torch as I picked out what I needed. It smelled pleasant down there, of apples and old wood, of dried herbs and cool stone. When I had collected what I needed and tucked it into the sleeve of my dress, I turned around to leave, and found Accolon closer behind me than I had thought. I felt my heart give an unconscious flutter of excitement. He leaned forward, sliding an arm around my waist, resting his hand at the small of my back, stepping tentatively closer. I tilted my face up towards his, placing my hand against his cheek. I heard him give a low groan of anticipation as our noses brushed together, and I felt his hot breath against my lips.

  “Accolon,” I whispered, “do you know how to forge a sword?”

  He gave a low laugh. “I can forge a sword for you, Morgan.”

  Our lips met, and I sank against him with a slight tremble of desire. It could not be here, it could not be now, but it would be soon. I felt sure enough of Accolon now to have him as my lover, and perhaps even more than that. I would wait for that, though, until I was sure.

  I pulled away from his kiss slowly. I could see the hunger in his eyes, the desire, and I was pleased. It was too long since a man had looked at me that way.

  “Soon,” I whispered to him. He gave me a gentle smile, and helped me out, and back to my room. Conscious of Uriens close by, and the danger that he might happen upon us if we lost ourselves in a kiss, I only brushed my fingers lightly against his lips as I said goodbye. I felt their softness against my fingertips long after he had left. It would be soon.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Autumn came, and I felt my strength return to me fully. Elaine chirruped about how I looked my old self again. But it was not enough. Nimue had not answered my letters, and I needed to know if she had learned Merlin’s secrets from him. Uriens’ ominous promise that I could not keep him from my bed hung around me, and though he had not tried to come to me, now I was recovered from my childbed weakness I was afraid he would try again soon. I had prepared the mixture for him as I had done before, but I had precious little of the herbs I needed for it left, and I warily kept them for when I might have urgent need of them.

  As the leaves were turning red and beginning to fall, I called Accolon to my chamber in secret to show him Excalibur, when I knew that Uriens had ridden out to hunt. When he came through the door, he shut it behind himself, and I saw the excitement on his face; but I had a different kind of excitement in mind. I was holding Excalibur in its scabbard behind my back, and when he stepped forward to take me in his arms, I held it out before him. I saw his eyes widen, and a gasp escaped his lips. I drew the sword, and held it out in front of him, feeling its Otherworld lightness, as I held it aloft in a single hand. He gasped again.

  “You do not need me to make you a sword if you have a sword like that,” he murmured.

  I rested the blade against his upturned palms, and he ran a hand down the flat of it, whistling through his teeth. My hand was still around the hilt, and he let his hand brush over mine as he stroked it down the sword. He looked up at me, and our eyes met. When he saw the look of sly ambition on my face, a smile of intrigue curled across his face.

  “This is Excalibur, isn’t it?” he asked, quietly.

  So, he had heard of it. I nodded.

  “I want you to make one the same. When Arthur comes to collect Excalibur from me, I will give him the false one. He will not know the difference. He has not a drop of Otherworld blood in him. Excalibur was meant for me.”

  Accolon threw Excalibur from my hands, and I heard it clatter across the floor, but I did not care, for he had grasped me against him, one hand winding through my hair, pulling loose the plait, the other around my waist, holding me against him, pulling me into a hungry, demanding kiss. I was fired with it, too. Fired with the daring of my plan, the sense of my own power, the power we might have together, I ran my hands down his chest, feeling the huge, dangerous muscle beneath. I wanted him, and I wanted him now. I slid my hands up under his shirt, feeling the bare skin of his chest underneath, lig
htly covered in coarse hair. He groaned low under my touch, lifting me lightly against my little table beside us. I felt my hair fall loose around me as he moved his lips to my neck, and I felt the pleasant weakness spread from the base of my spine, as the breath came to me fast and I leaned into it. I let a hand trail down to his breeches and found him hard already, as excited as I was, both by our sudden closeness, and my daring ambition. I saw the pleasure and desire pass across his face as I slipped my hand inside. His hands went fast to the lacing at the back of my dress, pulling it open, his lips following down as he slid the dress down, off my shoulders, and, hot with desire, I sighed out his name.

  Then, suddenly, I heard Uriens in the corridor outside calling my name. He had come back sooner than I’d thought. I pushed Accolon back.

  “Hide,” I hissed at him, as Uriens called my name again.

  “Where?” Accolon mouthed. I pointed under the bed. I would have to get rid of Uriens quickly. I pulled my dress up over my shoulder and pulled the lacing tight as best as I could. Uriens stepped through the door as I jumped from the table, smoothing down my dress. He looked irritated.

  “Oh, Morgan. You are in here.” Then he seemed to notice my hair, loose all around me, and the expression on his face changed. I realised that, though we had been married more than a year, he had never seen my hair loose. Well, that was his own fault. He took an unconscious step towards me, and his hand reached forward to touch it. I supposed it must have looked inviting to him; long and thick, and glossy dark brown, the only part of my looks that could have been called typical feminine beauty. But he had missed his chance to appreciate my looks. He had seen only the blue, and my secret knowledge with it, and been cruel to me. I stepped away from him.

  “What do you want, Uriens?” I demanded. I suddenly remembered the sword lying on the floor. I did not want him to notice it. I felt flushed still, frustrated, angry to have been interrupted at a longed-for chance to be alone with Accolon.

  “Morgan, we have a child together. Don’t you even want to try to get used to me? We ought to have more children.”

  “Get used to you?” I shouted.

  “You will like it if you get used to it,” he objected, flatly.

  “I will not,” I shouted. Uriens stepped forward and grabbed hold of me by the shoulders, and pressed his mouth against mine. I pushed against him, but he did not loosen his grip on me, and when he released me, he threw me towards the bed.

  “I am doing this for your own good, Morgan. You must just become used to it, and you must resume your duties as my wife. No more witchcraft against me, no more hiding.” He climbed on top of me as he spoke, while I tried to wriggle away from him, but he was far stronger than I, and he held me fast by the wrists.

  “No, Uriens. No,” I hissed, as quiet as I could. I didn’t want Accolon to jump out from under the bed to defend me and get himself killed. He had come unarmed, and Uriens had a sword at his side. Perhaps we would have a chance enough if Uriens threw it off, but then we would have to explain to Uriens’ knights why his steward had killed him in my bedchamber.

  Uriens was pushing up the skirts of my dress, and while one of his hands was off me I kicked him hard away, and he stumbled back, released his grip just long enough for me to wrench away, jump from the bed and pick up Excalibur. When he saw the point of a sword before his face, he seemed to understand that I was serious about refusing him. He stepped back from the bed, his hand on the hilt of his own sword. I was not afraid. I had all of the strength of the Otherworld in me with Excalibur in my hands.

  “Where did you get a sword?” He growled.

  “This is my sword. A dear friend returned it to me. You will not touch me again. Do you understand?”

  Uriens threw me a dirty look, and moved towards the door. He hesitated in the doorway, and turned back to me.

  “You are truly the foulest of witches, Morgan. I don’t know how you managed to get someone to fuck you before I did. I don’t know how any man could stand you.”

  He slammed the door when he left, and I gasped, collapsing back in relief and victory. I did not care what he said to me, or what he thought of me. I was safe. While I had Excalibur, I was safe. I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes, catching my breath.

  I heard Accolon climb out from under the bed and I opened my eyes as he came over to me and took my face in his hands. I looked up at him, fierce and proud. He leaned down to kiss me, and I laid my fingers against his lips.

  “Come to me again when you have the sword,” I said.

  I did not offer him Excalibur to make the copy from, nor did he ask for it. We both knew that I needed it with me.

  The next day, a letter came to me from Nimue.

  “My most dear Lady Morgan, I hope queenship suits you well. I dreamed of you as a queen. I have gained nothing from Merlin, and he pesters me daily to have him in my bed. The war is drawing to its final close, and talk in Camelot is beginning to turn to whom Arthur should take as a wife. Thanks to his long war, there are many fine princesses in the lands about whose betrothed will not return to them, so he has plenty of choice. By the end, it was nothing less than total destruction. Once the sons of Lot joined with Arthur, victory was assured. He rides with the eldest, Gawain – or is the other twin the eldest, I don’t know – and assures me that he will return to Camelot soon to settle the matter of his marriage. I hope that means I shall see you soon for the grand occasion. Nimue.”

  The letter made me feel anxious. It meant that Arthur would come soon for his sword, and I was not ready for him to take it from me.

  But I did not have to wait long. It was late at night, and I lay in my bed, with its curtains drawn against the early winter chill. I strained to read in the low light of the fire that only just filled the room. I could barely make out the words on the page, but I got comfort from looking over, again and again, the sleep-medicine that I would use – as soon as the time was right – to kill Uriens.

  I heard the scrape of metal on wood as I saw a hand push through the bed curtains and tear them back. I sat up sharply in bed, prepared to run for Excalibur, but I felt bright relief surge through me as I saw, silhouetted against the low fire in the gap of the curtains, a new-forged sword gleaming in his hand, Accolon. His eyes were wild with triumph, and I could see the breath coming to him hard and fast. He threw the sword down on the bed beside me, and I turned to glance at it. It was the very picture of Excalibur. I was sure I would only be able to tell the difference if I took it in my hand. I turned back to him. His mouth opened slightly, as though he were about to say something, but before he could speak, I leapt forward and grasped him by the front of his shirt, pulling him into the bed. The curtains fell shut behind him, and we fell back beside the sword. He kissed me, hot and hard with urgency, and I felt his hands rough and fast, pulling the nightdress up over my head. He smiled gently to himself as he looked my body over.

  “It is true, then,” he murmured, tracing one swirling line of blue across my stomach.

  I suddenly heard Kay’s voice in my head, You are like that all over. But Kay had forsaken me, and at last I had found another man who was not afraid of a woaded woman.

  “It is true,” I whispered back, and he kissed me again. This would bind us together. He could be my partner in this; the others had all been afraid. Kay, Lancelot, Uriens. Not quite brave enough. I pulled him to me, and I felt him tremble in surrender. I pushed him beneath me and tore him free of his clothes; he was just as fine beneath as I had hoped. All broad muscle and dark gold hair. All big, rough hands that tugged in my hair, just enough, and eyes that ran over me with the desire and wonder I had long deserved. So it was swift and wild, all the more so because I had been lonely so long, and it left us both gasping and tangled together in the pleasant exhaustion of lovers who at last have had what they have long waited for.

  It was a while after, when the light from the fire was almost dead, and we lay side by side in the sweet haze of pleasure that he spoke.

  “So
you are pleased, then,” he asked, “with the sword?”

  I laughed softly. “Quite pleased. It is a perfect copy. You had it made very fast.”

  I felt his hand slide into my hair, and I rolled into his arms once more in the darkness.

  “I knew that it would be worth my haste,” he replied.

  I covered his mouth with mine before he could speak again, growing lost already in the knowledge of him as mine, and the raw rush of power from my coming revenge, and the sword sleeping beside us.

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Accolon’s haste had been wise, for Arthur came for the sword a week before Christmas, just days later. I heard the horns that announced his arrival from my room where I was standing with my book of medicines, checking one last time the mixture I would make for Uriens.

  It would have been Accolon who sounded the horn, and the noise of it made me smile to think of him. I had found some joy in my life here, at least, even if it had not been with the child. And I might yet have a child that would give me joy, for I felt sure I could love a child, if it were one by a man of my own choosing.

  Arthur had come from Lothian, where the winter snows were deep already, and he rode in on his armoured horse dressed in rich, heavy furs of a dark grey-brown. He rode without his crown and with just a small company of knights. Among them I recognised Gawain. Every time I saw Arthur he looked more like a king; not in his clothes, but the way he talked, the way he held himself. The war had made him a strong leader and an experienced warrior; I could see that from the way he moved, the easy way he had with the men that rode with him. The boy I had known was almost entirely gone.

  He jumped down from his horse as I walked out into the courtyard, and I saw Uriens kneel before him. I wasn’t going to kneel, so I hung back. Uriens got to his feet and Arthur clapped him on the shoulder with a friendly laugh. Behind Arthur, I caught Gawain’s eye. His look was unfriendly, glowering. This could not have been easy for him.