Demons Prefer Blondes

by Sidney Ayers

  They called it a defense mechanism, to keep the Paladins from straying. In his opinion, it was no such thing. It was their conscience, the only thing human that remained. Sometimes he hated it. He tossed a sidelong glance at Lucy, her dark blonde hair peeking from beneath her knit cap. Today he welcomed it with open arms.

  He opened his mouth to speak.

  “It’s about time.” The squeak sliced into his eardrum.

  The sooner he got Squeaky to Serah, the better. He just wanted to lay back, drink some wine, and just be himself for a while. Squeaky’s talking did nothing to relax the mood. Not that he didn’t like the little guy… umm… imp. He… erm… it had whittled its way in. But Squeaky wasn’t the only one who had burrowed into the deep recesses of his heart. And that unnerved him even more.

  Her scent, her taste, her… bloody hell… everything about her drove him to distraction. How could he protect her when he’d become as weak as a young puppy? The Fore-Demons were having a field day with this, no doubt.

  Squeaky snapped his chubby chimp fingers. “Is everything okay, compadre?”

  “Everything is fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Fine,” Squeaky huffed. “Eager to get rid of me, are you?”

  He wouldn’t let this chimp know he’d grown on him.

  “You’re needed at Serah’s,” Lucy interjected. With a yank of her hat, she shook her head, her stylishly choppy hair bouncing around her face. Breathtaking. “You don’t want that lasagna to get cold.”

  “Since Mr. Deleon here controls me, I suppose I have no choice.” Squeaky spread his chimp lips into a huge smile, revealing his big yellow teeth. “And two of my favorite things, Serah and lasagna. Now that’s amore.”

  “Oh! Serah has an admirer.” Lucy shuffled Squeaky toward the door. “Just be gentle with her.”

  Rafael blanked that thought from his mind. Some things were better left without visualization.

  “It’s only for this mythical lasagna I’ve heard so much about.”

  Time was of the essence. They’d socialized enough. “Ready?”

  With a reluctant squeal, Squeaky nodded. “I prefer to drive, but since the storm demons have the whole town cluster-fucked, I have no choice. If I freeze one hair off my ass, I swear I’ll whack you myself.”

  Rolling his eyes, Rafael groaned. “It’s the only way to get you across town in less than five seconds.”

  Lucy arched an eyebrow, bemusement lighting up her hazel eyes. “Are you poofing him there?”

  “Something like that,” Rafael replied with a shrug.

  “Oh, okay.” With that delightful nibble of her lip, Lucy turned away and gazed out the window. She raked a hand through her tousled hair and heaved a sigh.

  What is the matter with me? Curiosity was a common trait, amongst mortals and demons alike. It was only natural for her to wonder, and here he was acting like an utter cad. Times were tough. The Infernati were loose. He was insane with desire. Not a good mix at all.

  “I’ll handle the travel arrangements, Lucy. There are other things you need to learn, first.”

  Couldn’t he say anything without sounding like a bloody bastard? He needed to worry about other things right now. Like protecting Lucy and the chest. The complexity of demon travel wasn’t something he wanted to get into. Maybe later. Yes, definitely later. There so much he wanted to do with her. There his mind wandered again! He turned his gaze back to Squeaky. “Ready now?”

  Zipping up a puffy black down jacket around his squatty chimp body, gold pinky ring sparkling, Squeaky nodded. “As ready as I’ll never be.”

  “Good.” Rafael closed his eyes and placed his hands on Squeaky’s shoulders. “Go with the winds to the workplace of Serah SanGermano. Protect her.”

  With that, Squeaky nodded and lowered his head. In a burst of bright light and shards of ice, he vanished.

  ***

  With mouth agape, Lucy stared at the pile of ice that had once been Squeaky. It was bad enough that was snowing enough outside to make an army of snowmen, but now Rafe had to bring the ice and cold inside? Not to mention the fact he’d annihilated poor Squeaky. “What did you do to him?”

  “He’s fine. He’ll just have a few icicles in some unmentionable places.”

  Poor Squeaky. “That doesn’t sound fun at all.”

  “I just commanded him to Serah’s business. He’ll recover.” Rafe pushed his way into the living room where the offending chest still sat, with the styling cape draped over it, oblivious to the fact that the chest it covered had once held a bunch of overzealous—or was it not-so-zealous—demons. Whatever the case, there was no way in hell she would open that chest again.

  Ha! He was hiding something, and she just caught him. “I thought you couldn’t poof where you haven’t been.”

  “I’ve been to Serah’s.” Rafe grabbed a strange book off the coffee table and had a seat on the futon from hell. What a strange book. It was obviously old, with green binding, and it looked two times bigger than the Oxford dictionary. Rafe flipped open the book and took extra care with the pages as he turned them. “Ahh, Squeaky. You’re much better than I thought.”

  It was about time he realized the little guy’s potential. “What is it?” she asked, taking a seat next to him.

  Turning the page, Rafe scanned the fancy script. “The Liber Palatinorum, the Paladin’s manual.”

  “Please tell me I don’t have to read the entire book.” Not that there was anything wrong with reading, but most of her reading choices didn’t exceed the seven-hundred-page limit. From the looks of this tome, it was well over a thousand.

  “Only those parts deemed important enough by the Fore-Demons.” He pointed to some of the Old Latin script and set the heavy book on her lap, taking extra care not to drop it. “Can you read this?”

  Squinting, she perused the ornate script. The crazy skill she had in high school came back to haunt her. Luckily, the nuns weren’t there. “Uhh… yeah.” She drew her finger over each word. “It says, ‘To prevent another demon from invading your thoughts, close your eyes, surround yourself with warm white energy, and fill your heart with confidence.’”

  “Close your eyes and try.”

  “Huh?” Didn’t he say he couldn’t read her thoughts?

  Rafe’s lips curved into a sly yet sexy grin. “Read this.”

  “‘To catch a glimpse of someone’s thoughts, concentrate on the subject you wish to explore, surround yourself with white light and meditate, freeing your mind of any negative energy.’”

  Bloody hell, how many of her thoughts had he already read? “Gee, thanks for warning me.”

  “I can only catch a glimpse here or there, but if you allow me, I can read more.”

  Hell no, she didn’t want him knowing how bad she lusted after him. That would scare him off. Then again, he didn’t fight when she threw herself at him. “Uhh.”

  “Only for a minute or two, until you learn how to put up the block.”

  “Fine. Go ahead, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  With a nod, Rafe closed his eyes and put his hands to his temples.

  An incessant buzzing filled her brain, similar to the sensation when Kalli and Belial had tried to enrapture her. She shot out the strangest thought she could muster. In a flash, she followed the book’s instructions. And just as quickly, the buzz faded.

  “What is a bologna pony?”

  With a shrug, she slipped her hands into her jeans pockets and averted his gaze, her lips curving into her best attempt at a sheepish grin. This was easier than she thought. “Nothing, just some nonsense I thought up.” Luckily he didn’t hear the rest. “So that’s it?”

  Rafe nodded “I’m impressed.” Admiration sparked in his gaze and he scooted closer. He flipped to another page. “How about this?” he asked in a whisper, his breath sending tingles against her skin.

  “‘To control your demonic powers, close your eyes, and take five deep and even breaths. Coun
t to ten and surround yourself with cool blue energy.’” What the heck? Would she have to spin around while rubbing her belly and patting her head? Or was it patting her belly while rubbing her head? Whatever it was, it seemed hard. Too bad it didn’t include illustrated instructions. Those damned demons. Couldn’t make anything easy.

  “Well?”

  She gnashed her teeth. Her gaze remained on the book as she re-read the instructions. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said, sounding like a whiney kid. “This can’t be for real.”

  Leaning in, Rafe took her hand in his, electricity sparking between them. “Do you want to control your succubus charm or not? It isn’t that hard.”

  Enough with these sparks. She wanted that inferno—bad. Too bad she had a ten-ton book on her lap. That and she had to learn how to control those overactive pheromones. Otherwise, she’d be dealing with more than just a legion of Infernati. Her mind wandered back to the events from earlier that morning. She didn’t know what would be worse: fighting off a legion of Infernati or dealing with two sex-crazed Santa Clauses.

  Recalling the jiggling ass full of jelly, she picked the latter. “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”

  She closed her eyes. With slow, even breaths, she visualized herself submersed in a cool blue pool, swimming back and forth. It took all the willpower within her to resist the urge to imagine Rafe swimming with her. After a few minutes and confident with her visualization, she nodded.

  “So how do I like test this out?” Shutting the book, she angled him a glance. His gaze smoldered, sending her hormones rushing. Please God, don’t let it work on him. And how would she know for sure if it did work on mortals? Mortals? It was like she’d been injected into one of those cheesy vampire movies that looked like it’d been recorded on a college kid’s camcorder.

  “Do you feel anything?”

  Bemusement flooded her face. “Huh?”

  “I’ve heard from some of the Sexubi that it feels tingly, like tiny pin pricks on your cheeks.”

  “Guess it worked then.”

  Rubbing his jaw, Rafe frowned. What the hell? Wasn’t he proud of her? “Wonderful,” he mumbled as he turned his gaze to the window.

  She wrinkled her nose. Snow whipped and blew, stronger than she’d ever seen, swirling like a freezing tornado outside her house, blocking the view of the neighbor’s house across the street. Silently, she thanked Squeaky for the forethought to light a fire. At least it was warm and toasty inside. Her naughty side reared her not so quiet head. Mmm, Rafe and her beside the fire. Yummy.

  So where was the section on getting one hot, hard, and sexy demon in bed? Enough with the hormones already! Her naughty self would have to wait. She had some training to do, much to Miss Naughty’s chagrin.

  Rafe’s expression remained stark, his silver eyes swirling. Frustration, maybe? Was he angry? What on Earth had she done wrong now? “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

  “I am.” He sucked in a deep breath, averting her gaze like she had the plague. What a great way to show excitement. Something wasn’t right. And she’d be damned if she didn’t do something about it.

  With a shove, she sent the heavy book off her lap and onto the cushion beside her. Grabbing the collar of his leather jacket, she turned him to face her, their lips centimeters apart. His eyes swirled and glistened, beckoning her to fall into their mesmerizing depths. She sucked in a breath and composed her thoughts. “What is wrong?”

  “It didn’t work.”

  Huh? Her eyes narrowed as confusion flooded her body. Her grip remained steady. “What didn’t work?”

  “The block of your succubus charm.”

  With a scratch of her head, she sighed. “How do you know? I felt the tingles like you said I would.”

  Rafe’s gaze burned, sending a flame of desire down her spine and into her toes. Her heart thudded and her mind buzzed. Her fingers brushed a path across a strand of hair and down his cheek.

  “I still feel the same,” he said, his breath catching. “You’ve enraptured me. I’m doomed.” Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her hand away.

  “Maybe I’m the one who’s enraptured.” The exotic spices teased her senses, drawing her nearer, beckoning her to reach out and touch him. She wanted him… more than she had wanted any man in her life. Weird, yet strangely exhilarating. If he was doomed, she wasn’t far behind. She had to touch him. “May I?” she asked, flashing him an attempt at a sultry gaze. She drew her finger millimeters from his skin. Better safe than sorry, right?

  With a slow, reluctant nod, Rafe guided her hand to his cheek, stubbly beneath her soft fingers. Energy rippled between them, filling her with desire. Even though raging pheromones wafted in the air, he remained cool and completely composed.

  The awkward silence was killing her. “So why are you so hard on yourself?” Despite her cravings, she knew he needed someone to talk to, to confide in. “From what I’ve seen, you’re crazy brave. Braver than anyone else I know.”

  “My history isn’t that glorious, Lucy.”

  That, of course, was a matter of opinion. And she didn’t think much of his opinion on this matter. The man had managed to fascinate her, utterly and completely. A feat not often accomplished. She loved his drive, his intensity, and his devotion to his sister. “It’s glorious to me.”

  Rafe’s eyes sparked, the silver like two flashing daggers. “You don’t understand. I am a Paladin. Failure isn’t an option.”

  Perfection wasn’t a virtue. “I know a hell of a lot more than you realize. Look at my shop. It’s my baby, you know. There’ll always be problems no matter how hard I try. Be it a shiitake perm or a bad waxing accident. Nobody’s perfect.”

  “It’s different for the Paladins.”

  Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes. “Perfect people, demons included, suck. The world would be boring without imperfections or failures.” The only imperfections Lucy could see in this man were his stubbornness and self-doubt. Who knew those traits could go hand and hand?

  “I’ve failed too many large missions,” he said, crossing his arms. “The Fore-Demons will demote me. I have no other option.”

  Would she ever break through? “But you’ve had many small victories. Five small victories are better than one major one. Surely they understand that?”

  “I appreciate your encouragement,” Rafe said, taking her hand in his. “But I’ve dealt with this ever since Amanda died. It was horrible seeing her…” His breath caught and his eyes sparked.

  “What happened wasn’t your fault. You were an innocent bystander.” Offering a tender stroke to his hand, she moved in closer. “And don’t even think about taking responsibility for your sister. From what I’ve heard, she made her own decisions, whether you agreed to them or not.”

  “She’s a stubborn woman.” He flashed a halfhearted smile. “Just like you.”

  Stubborn? Me? What on Earth was he talking about? Who was she fooling? She could be as mulish as the best of them when it came to something important. “I guess that’s a compliment.”

  “Yes, it was.”

  She breathed an inward sigh of relief. They were making progress. “Tell me about her.”

  “Coby?”

  “Yes.”

  Scrubbing a hand through his hair, Rafe took a deep breath. “She’s incredibly brave, has been her entire life.”

  “It must be genetic.”

  Rafe arched a brow. “Pardon?”

  “You’re pretty brave, too.”

  “Thank you. Sometimes I don’t feel that way.”

  Lucy rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  Lowering his gaze, he turned his head. “As for my sister, she chose to protect the chest. Only the strongest and the bravest choose that.

  “I begged and pleaded, as did Nic, our best friend.” He shook his head. “She stood her ground and went behind our backs. She approached the Fore-Demon Council herself. They were all too happy to approve, even when they knew we didn’t.”

  “Oh.” How
bureaucratic! “So democracy is out in Hell?”

  “Limbo,” Rafe muttered.

  “Sorry. I’m still getting used to all this underworld shit.”

  “No apology necessary. Anyhow, Coby took her position, despite our pleadings.” He let out a deep sigh. “She’d been doing an excellent job of it too. Damn Belial and his Infernati bastards.”

  Noticing his jaw twitching and his fists clenched, she took control of the conversation. “So how long did she protect the chest?”

  “Sixty-five years.” His grip loosened. “One of the longest held posts. She’s extremely dedicated. I can’t believe this happened.”

  He leaned back. “Even though I originally begged her not to join, I still take great pride in her achievements.”

  As he should. What a man, fiercely loyal to his Paladins and his family. She reached over and took his hand in hers. “She sounds fascinating. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “I appreciate your optimism, but Coby’s chances are bleak.” Rafe brushed a fingertip across her cheek, sending a stray strand of hair behind her ear and her senses roaring to life.

  Not if she had anything to say about it. She’d be damned if she didn’t do something to help him and his sister. She owed him, after all he’d done for her. “I’ll find a way to help you rescue her. My father has connections, I’m sure.” She turned to face him, gazing right in those beautiful swirling silver eyes. “If I have to storm the bowels of Hell myself, I will.”

  “No. It’s too dangerous, Lucy. I won’t risk your life.”

  “I have to do something. I care for you, damn it.”

  Had she just said that? Those words had a tendency to send men packing. Especially hotties built like Rafe. Heck, those words had sent her packing a few times. Case in point: the undreamy neurosurgeon. Then again, he’d said a few other words of affection that would make a greeting card writer vomit.

  She was losing her cool. Rambling in her mind, catching her breath whenever he looked at her with that swirling silver gaze, almost swooning at his touch. Now she was certain. She had it bad for him.

  Much to her delight, Rafe didn’t run away. He only gripped her hand tighter in his. Waves of thick powerful energy radiated between them. Despite the heat, calmness surrounded them, drawing them closer. Was it so wrong to just to be wrapped in his arms, to wrap him in hers? She certainly didn’t think so.