“A good buddy of mine plays on his team. He heard Wade talking in the locker room that he was paid to hit you during that scrimmage game.” The room starts to spin as every emotion clouds my head. Placing a hand against the wall to steady myself, anger starts to work its way up from the pit of my stomach, through my chest, stopping in my head, making the vein in my forehead pulse fiercely.
“Who the fuck paid him?” My voice is low and demanding. I want to know who the motherfucker is that put him up to this.
“I don’t know yet, but I’m trying to find out. Wade is big and dumb, so I’m sure it won’t take much to get him talking.”
“What the fuck!? Why would he do that?!” I yell out. “Do you have any idea who might have done it?” I have a person in mind, but I want to know if he thinks the same thing.
“If I had to bet on it, I’d say Brandon. He has the most to gain, so I think he went all Tonya Harding on your ass.” I’m going to gut that motherfucker. I knew he was way too smug about the whole situation.
“We need to come up with a plan. Let me talk to my attorney and see what he says we should do. I’m going to nail this fucker to the wall. Try to keep quiet about it too. I don’t want to spook Wade or Brandon.” My fists clench and unclench wanting nothing more than to punch the wall.
“I feel ya, just let me know what he says and I’ll do whatever you need me to. I’m sure my buddy wouldn’t mind helping, since this is some fucked up shit. There’s no room in the league for bullshit like this.”
I hang up and collapse onto the couch in the living room. Staring blankly at the wall, I run through all kinds of scenarios. What would have happened had Wade not hit me? I’d still be playing, that’s what.
“FUUUUCK!!” I yell out, slinging the remote that’s sitting nearby up against the wall. It shatters on impact, putting a hole in the wall before pieces fall all over the floor. Looking at the broken remote, that’s what my life feels like. Right when I think I’m on a new path and figuring shit out, something new gets thrown at me, shattering everything. I could accept the fact that an accident happened and my knee failed me, but this? No fucking way.
My mom walks through the front door, stepping on the scattered pieces. Looking down, she tries to walk over the mess. “Oh my, what happened here?” Bringing her head back up and looking behind her, she sees the hole and tiny pieces of sheetrock hanging from the collision of the remote. “Landon! You want to tell me why there’s a hole in my wall?” She’s facing me now with her hands on her hips.
A tight ball of fire sits in the bottom of my stomach and I need to get out of here before I do something stupid. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’ll fix it, but I’ve got to go.” Without waiting for a response, I grab my keys off the table and leave.
I end up at Dale’s. Sitting at the bar, I order a beer. The only thing that’s going to make this better is to get drunk as shit so I can forget for a little while.
Wade was paid off to take me out.
This one sentence rolls through my head over and over again like a broken record. Bile rises in my throat when I start thinking of what could have been. I chug the rest of my beer to push it down. I feel my phone buzz from within my pocket.
Valerie: We need to talk. Can you meet with me this week? <3
What the fuck is up with the heart?
Me: What do u need 2 talk about?
Lifting my hand, I signal the bartender to bring me another one. Once he sets it down in front of me, I take another long pull, draining half of it. My head starts to feel light and my problems are starting to drift to the back of my mind, allowing me a moment of reprieve that I eagerly welcome.
Valerie: Us.
Damn. I almost forgot I was talking to her.
Me: Are u going 2 sign the agreement my lawyer sent to u?
Valerie: No but I think we should talk about it more.
Me: There’s nothing 2 talk about I’m not giving ur ass any alimony
Valerie: I deserve to be compensated for the things I sacrificed for you and you know it!
She’s getting mad.
Good.
Me: Sacrifice? Ha that’s real rich
Valerie: Don’t be a dick.
Me: Why don’t u choke on a dick and go back to that shit bag and let him take care of ur ass
I’m sure that one’s going to piss her off. I can imagine her perfectly glossed lips pursed as she tries to keep up her cool façade. I tuck my phone back in my pocket since I’m not responding to anything else she sends me. Fuck her. My pocket vibrates again, but I ignore it and finish off my fourth beer. Right now the only thing I care about is drinking enough to drown out the thoughts in my head. Because if I think about it long enough, I want to go into a blind rage and could probably kill someone. Who in their right fucking mind thinks this is okay?
By the time I’m ready to go home, I have to call a cab, but at least all thoughts of my knee and the plot against me are absent from my mind. When I stagger through the door and to my bedroom, there’s a note on my door.
We’ll talk about the hole in the wall and my broken remote in the morning.
-Mom
Awesome.
***
The smell of coffee wakes me from a deep sleep. I wipe the drool off my face right as the pounding in my head registers and I let out a groan.
“Wake up, sunshine,” my mom says in a sarcastic voice as she waves a cup of coffee under my nose.
“Can this wait, Mom? My head is killing me.” I pull the covers over my head to block the light leaking through my closed eyelids.
“No, this can’t, Landon. You might be an adult, but I’m still your momma. Now get your butt up and come to the kitchen. Now.” Her last word is punctuated with a firm tone and I know better than to argue with her. After a few minutes, I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed and head for the kitchen.
“Have a seat, son.” My mom gestures to the seat in front of her. At least she’s got coffee waiting on me. Once I sit, she says, “What happened yesterday? It’s not like you to put holes in walls and break things.”
“I’m sorry about that. I will fix it.” I take a drink from my mug, willing it to ease my headache and soak up the residual booze.
“I’m not worried about the wall. I’m worried about you. Now tell me, what made you do that.” I look at her and see the worry lines mark her face. Her concern for me makes me feel guilty.
“You know how I hurt my knee the last time during that practice scrimmage game?” She nods. “Well, I just heard from my buddy that rumors are floating around that it wasn’t an accident.”
Her eyebrows furrow as she tries to piece together the information I’m telling her. “What do you mean, it wasn’t an accident?”
“Someone was paid to take me out.” The words taste like vomit leaving my mouth, dripping with acid.
My mom gasps as her eyes widen. “Paid? Who would do something like that? Why?”
“I’m still trying to figure it out. I have my suspicions, but nothing has been confirmed.” I rub the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger as my head pounds harder.
“What are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do about it? It’s over; my career, my old life, all of it. I’m going to talk to my attorney, but at this point, what does it matter? The only thing I want to do is beat their faces in, but I can’t do that and I can’t think straight because my mind is consumed with rage. Physically hurting Wade and the guy I think paid him is the only punishment I see fit right now. I don’t even know if anything can be done about it. At the end of the day, it’s not going to change things anyway.”
“Landon Stone,” my mother says in a firm tone as she sits up straight and looks at me with an intense stare, “You are going to get to the bottom of this and make them pay legally, you hear me? You’re going to be better than them and use your brain, not your fists. The world needs to know that this type of behavior will not be tolerated and that justice will be served. What’s going to keep them from d
oing something like this to someone else? You need to put a stop to it and there’s only one way to do it. Collect your evidence, bring it to your attorney, and sue those assholes.” She stands up quickly and goes to the sink to dump out the rest of her coffee and rinse her mug. As shitty as I feel right now, her little speech brings a smile to my face, especially when she calls them assholes. I can’t remember the last time I heard her curse. But her talk is effective and sparks a fire deep inside me. All I could think about since Andrews told me was kicking Wade’s ass. My mom has given me more clarity, and I know she’s right. Beating the shit out of Brandon and Wade won’t deter them from doing this shit in the future. Plus, they’ll still be able to play and I’ll likely be in jail for assault and battery. Time to beat them at their own game. I’m going to go back to bed and get my shit together when I feel like my head is attached to the rest of my body.
***
When I wake up several hours later, I feel a lot better. The headache is gone and I can move without feeling like my head will explode. I’m still wearing the same clothes from last night and I smell like a sewer. I pat my pockets searching for my phone to see what time it is. When I pull it out, I notice I have several missed messages. Fucking Valerie, I’m sure. I open them and read through them.
Val: Fuck you Landon!
But it’s the next few messages that make my heart drop.
Autumn: I just got home from work. You gonna head over now?
Autumn: Are you okay? I thought you’d be over by now.
Autumn: I’m starting to worry about you.
Autumn: I’m going to bed. Please call me and let me know you’re okay.
Son of a bitch.
With everything that went on last night, I completely forgot that I was supposed to go over to Autumn’s last night. I rub my temples as my headache resurfaces, hating that I caused her to worry about me. I dial her number and wait for her to answer. She picks up on the second ring.
“Landon, oh my God, I was worried about you. Are you okay?” Her words come out rushed, verifying how concerned she was.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about last night. I forgot I was supposed to come over.” Rubbing the back of my neck, I wait for her to respond as the silence stretches out between us.
“You forgot.” It’s not a question and her voice is monotone, giving away no emotion and making it hard to read the situation.
“I’m sorry, something came up and I had to deal with it. I know I should have called, but—“
“No, it’s okay,” she cuts me off. “No worries.” Before I can say anything, she says, “Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.” She hangs up without letting me say goodbye. I know I’ve hurt her feelings.
FUCK!
With anger coursing through my body, I hang up on Landon and toss the phone onto the couch. I had been so worried I’m pretty sure I put a hole in the carpet from pacing all night. My stomach was in knots as my mind ran wild with all that could have happened to him. Was he in a car accident laying in a ditch somewhere? Did something happen to his mom? Was there some other emergency? It’s not like him to not check in with me; at least I didn’t think it was. To find out that he was okay and just forgot about me puts me in a state of fury. All the anger is soon replaced with complete disappointment and hurt as the reality of the situation sets in.
He forgot about me.
A slight pain in my chest begins to throb as those words play on repeat in my head. It’s just like all those years in high school when no one knew I existed. My classmates often looked right past me, never seeing me until I was the center of another cruel joke. I was never picked during group projects or asked for my opinion during club meetings. I blended into the background, forgotten by all of those around me. Now, I feel just as irrelevant as I did then, and that thought is depressing. Landon was the first guy to make me feel special, but he’s also the first guy to have the ability to break my heart. I had started to develop serious feelings for him without completely knowing it, but he’s proved to be just like everyone else.
Refusing to cry over my hurt feelings, I get up and do the only thing I can to stay distracted. I clean. Once I’m gloved up, I start in the kitchen, scrubbing it from top to bottom. It’s sort of cathartic, like cleaning the house is also cleansing my mind and heart. I’ll wipe away the dirt and filth that clings to the emotions that make me doubt and feel bad about myself. I spent too many years in a state of self loathing because of the actions of others. I will not do it anymore.
I’m cleaning the grout on the tiled floors when I hear a knock on the door. Removing my gloves, I walk to the door and open it. My eyes widen in surprise seeing Landon standing before me.
“What are you doing here?” Hoping to hide the pain in my eyes, I blink a few times and straighten my spine while I wait for a response.
“I could tell I hurt you and I wanted to make it right. I’m so sorry that I didn’t come over last night. I’m sorry for causing you worry, and I’m sorry for upsetting you by making you think you weren’t important enough for me to remember.” It’s like he can read my mind, because that’s exactly how I felt. Like I didn’t mean enough to be at the forefront of his mind. “If you’ll let me in, I’ll explain everything.” I don’t say anything, I just move to the side to grant him entry. “These are for you, by the way.” He hands me a beautiful bouquet of purple tulips. When he walks past me, I take in a breath of their scent and hold it in before releasing it.
“Thank you.” While Landon walks into the living room and has a seat on the couch, I walk into the kitchen to put the flowers in water. I stall just a little while longer adjusting the flowers in the vase. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous to hear the excuse he’s come up with. Once I’m done, I sit down in a chair across from him. “So, what happened last night?” I try my best to keep my voice steady, but the hurt leaks out anyway, causing it to crack.
“It all started with a phone call to Andrews.” He goes on to explain the conversation he had with him and how the hit on him at the practice game was planned. My mouth drops with each new detail he gives me. “After he told me that,” he continues, “I wasn’t thinking straight.” He leans his head back against the couch and looks up at the ceiling. “Every goal and dream flashed before my eyes and I was fucking furious that it was stolen from me like that. All the anger and resentment I felt about my injury had resurfaced and had an actual person I could direct it to. My only thought after that was to drown out the anger and hate before I did something stupid. I ended up at a bar and got shit faced before taking a cab home.” Sitting up straight, our gaze reconnects and I clearly see the sincerity with his next words. “None of that excuses standing you up like that, but I wanted you to know that I wouldn’t have forgotten our plans if something serious didn’t happen.” His eyes are pleading, asking for forgiveness. I really want to, and he has a legitimate reason for not showing up, but it definitely makes me question where this is headed.
“Wow, what are you going to do?” I look away to break away from his penetrating stare and give myself a moment to think.
He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees while he rubs his temples. “I need to talk to my attorney to see what course of action can be taken and what kind of evidence would be needed.” He runs his hands roughly through his light brown hair, which causes it to stick up in every direction. “This is so fucked up, my mind is still spinning.”
Getting up, I walk over to the couch and sit next to him. I wrap my arms around him and pull him in for a hug. He hugs me back and I feel a little of the tension leave his body. “It’s going to be okay. You’ll figure it all out.” Pulling back, I look into his eyes to try to convey the confidence I have in him.
“Thanks. Let’s talk about something else. I need a distraction from this shit. Didn’t you go see your dad?” I nod. “How did that go?”
“It went well, I suppose. We talked a little about you actually.”
He perks up a l
ittle. “About what?”
“You know Dad was pretty pissed about the whole jail and tabloid thing.” He winces slightly but nods in acknowledgment. “I was nervous to bring you up because he’s already got it in his mind that you’re a troublemaker and a bad influence. But we talked and I told him that you’re nice to me, so I think I was able to smooth it all over.”
“That’s great. When do I get to meet him?” He laces his fingers through mine as he smiles warmly at me. It sends butterflies to my stomach, but I have to shut off my body’s reaction and start using my brain.
“Uh, well—“ I start to stutter as I try to think of a good reason that he can’t meet my dad and not hurt his feelings at the same time. Landon must pick up on the direction of my thoughts because he pulls his hand away and leans back into the couch.
“It’s okay. You don’t want me to meet him.” His voice drips with disappointment. He’s not looking at me anymore and staring off straight ahead. Even though he has this tough exterior, it’s clear that I’ve wounded him.
“No, I do,” I rush out, trying to do damage control while reaching for his hands again. “I just don’t know if I’m—we’re—ready for that yet.” I’m trying to tread lightly, but I’m not sure it’s working. In fact, his furrowed eyebrows tell me it’s not working.
“What’s going on? You’re holding something back, and I wish you’d just spit that shit out so I know where you really stand with me.” Crossing his arms across his chest, he avoids my grasp. He’s staring intently at me as he waits for an explanation.
A heavy sigh leaves my mouth. “I think we should cool it for a little while. Maybe we could be friends and take things slow.”
“I don’t know what kind of friends you have, but I don’t make it a habit of eating my friends’ pussy. We’re way past friendship, sweetheart.” I gasp at his bluntness. His pet name for me comes out hard and sarcastic. Once I’ve recovered from the shock of what he just said, the anger settles back in and my hand flies out before I can stop myself. My palm connects with his check, causing his face to jerk to the side.
Tackled by Love Page 15
