Many a Tear has to Fall

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Like it!’ Milly’s mouth gaped. ‘If my feller ever did, or said, anything romantic, I’d think he was sickening for something. I don’t get a kiss when he comes home from work at night, like Ann does. All I get is, “What’s for dinner, girl?” Or, “What the blazes have yer done with the ruddy Echo? And don’t say it’s under the cushion ’cos I’ve looked and it’s not.”’

  ‘Same here, girl,’ Dolly said, her head nodding knowingly. ‘Sometimes all I get is a flippin’ grunt, and that’s if I’m lucky.’

  ‘Yer’ve brought them up wrong,’ Lizzie said. ‘Yer haven’t got them house-trained like Norman is. And ye’re too late to start now, ’cos once they’re in the habit, yer’ll never change them if yer live to be a hundred.’ She gazed at Dolly and burst out laughing. ‘Mind you, if all ye’re getting is a grunt, life can’t be very exciting for yer, so yer probably wouldn’t want to live to be a hundred anyway.’

  ‘Here’s the drinks, ladies.’ Ken handed the glasses out. ‘Drink it up and then we can make ourselves happy singing about the sunshine.’

  Next door, Nellie Bingham was in a dark mood. She’d sit for a minute and then get up and pace the floor, shaking her fist at the wall, through which they could hear the singing and laughter. Her husband, Joe, was there, which was unusual. And Joe sober was a very different man to Joe the drunkard. He had a book open on his knee, but although his eyes were on the page, he wasn’t reading. He could hear the jollity coming from next door, but it didn’t worry him. It was Boxing Day, a day when most people in the street would be celebrating with their families. No, the noise didn’t worry him, but his wife’s behaviour did. And the boys were sitting so quietly he knew they were on edge.

  ‘Why don’t yer sit down, pet, and the four of us can have a game of cards to pass the time away.’

  ‘How can yer concentrate with that racket going on? I think they’ve got a bleedin’ cheek, singing their heads off without a thought for anyone else. I’ve a good mind to knock on their door and tell them what I think of them.’

  ‘They’re entitled to have a party at Christmas, Nellie, that’s what most folks do. There’s no reason why we can’t have a drink and play a hand of cards, instead of sitting like stuffed rabbits.’ Joe kept his voice low so as not to antagonise his wife. ‘Come on, pet, sit yerself down and have a drink. I’m sure the boys would like a game of cards.’

  ‘Yes we would, Mam,’ Jack said. ‘Wouldn’t we, Willy?’

  His younger brother nodded. ‘It would be better than sitting here doing nowt.’

  Just at that moment the singing and laughter from next door increased in volume, and Nellie took off. ‘That’s it, I’m not putting up with that no more.’ She picked up the poker, intending to knock on the wall, but Jack had jumped to his feet and he caught hold of her wrist. ‘Don’t do it, Mam.’

  ‘Let go of my arm, Jack, or I’ll belt yer one.’ Nellie didn’t mean it, she didn’t even know what she was saying. She wanted to hit out at someone, and next door were the ideal targets. ‘I said let go!’

  ‘That’s enough now, from both of yer.’ When Joe stood up, the book fell to the floor. ‘Can we have one night when there’s no fighting or arguing?’

  ‘Me and me mam never argue, Dad, and I know she wouldn’t belt me one. But I don’t want her knocking on the wall just ’cos they’re having a bit of a party.’

  ‘A bit of a party, did yer say? Sounds like a bleedin’ big party to me, they’re making enough noise to wake the dead.’ Nellie tried to free her hand. ‘We don’t have to put up with it and I’m going to let them know.’

  ‘Will yer listen to me, Mam,’ Jack pleaded. ‘That girl next door, Tess, is the only one in the street that’s treated me decent. None of the other neighbours look at me or Willy, but she went out of her way to talk to me. And she was nice and real friendly. She told me they were having a party, she was really looking forward to it. So don’t spoil it for them, Mam, please? And don’t spoil it for me either, because it’s a nice change to have a friend in the street.’

  Nellie dropped her head and let the poker slip from her fingers. ‘She’s only a kid.’

  ‘I know she’s only a kid,’ Jack said. ‘But she’s a nice kid.’ He could see the tears well up in his mother’s eyes, and said, ‘Don’t cry, Mam, please.’

  The next minute Nellie was in her husband’s arms and he was gently patting her back. ‘Come on, pet, there’s no need for those tears. Yer know we all love yer more than anything in the world.’

  Sobbing loudly, Nellie said, ‘I don’t know what comes over me, Joe, I just can’t help it.’

  ‘We all understand, sweetheart, so dry yer eyes and Willy will get the cards out while Jack fixes us all a drink. And we’ll sit around the table like a family should, and have a laugh every time I lose a hand at cards.’ He bent his head and whispered, ‘I do love yer, yer know.’

  ‘And I love you, Joe. Sometimes I wonder how yer can put up with me.’

  When Jack came back with a glass of sherry, Nellie took it from him, saying, ‘You and Willy are good lads, and I am proud of yer even if I don’t always show it.’

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Ann wrapped the woollen scarf tightly around Tess’s neck, then brought the ends together to cover her chest. ‘Are you sure you feel well enough for school, Theresa? You look very peaky to me.’

  ‘I’ll be all right, Mam, honest. I don’t want to stay off school, because I’ll be behind the rest of the class then.’

  ‘One day in bed would do you more good! The wind is bitter and there’s still a bit of snow and ice about. I’m sure Miss Harrison would understand.’

  ‘No, Mam! I want to go to school!’ Tess was getting agitated. She did feel rotten, but didn’t want to give in to it. The thought of going back to the days when she was never in school made her determined to fight the cold she could feel coming on. Perhaps it would go away in a day or two. A lot of the girls in her class had coughs and sneezes, and they didn’t stay home in bed. ‘I’ll be all right, honest!’

  Maddy was standing by, all wrapped up and ready to go. ‘We’re going to be late if we don’t put a move on. Let Tess come with me, Mam, and I’ll see her at playtime. If I think she’s not well I’ll tell Miss Harrison.’

  Ann sighed. ‘Just one day at home could prevent you from getting worse and having to spend a week in bed. But seeing as you’re determined, and against my better judgement, I’ll give in. But you have to promise me you’ll tell the teacher if you don’t feel well.’

  ‘I promise.’

  Maddy held on tight to her sister’s arm, because it was very slippy underfoot, and being ever protective, she didn’t want her to fall and get hurt. And as Ann watched them walking down the street, she thanked God for her elder daughter. Maddy had never once complained or shown any resentment over Theresa getting so much attention. In fact she fussed over her sister like a mother hen. Ann knew in her heart that as soon as the playtime bell sounded, Maddy would be out searching the playground. And as she closed the door she told herself that where Theresa was concerned, Maddy had more sense than she herself had. All the years of wrapping her sickly daughter in cotton wool, not letting the wind blow on her, had only made it worse for the child by weakening her resistance to any bugs that were in the air.

  Ann made for the kitchen and the washing-up. After that the dolly tub would be brought out to soak the clothes and bedding waiting to be washed. And as she worked, she talked to the empty kitchen. ‘I did what I thought was best for her, but I was wrong. She’d have been stronger and tougher if I hadn’t kept her in every time she sneezed.’ She took her hands out of the soapy water and rested them on the side of the sink. Looking out of the window on a sky that threatened either rain or more snow, she said, ‘Everything I did was with the best intentions because I love her so much. And Madelaine, of course, but she is very seldom sick. I don’t think she’s had more than two days off school since she started.’

  A knock on the front door h
ad her wiping her hands down her pinny as she hurried through the living room. She hoped it was no one she had to ask in, because she hadn’t tidied up yet. The fire was lit, but she hadn’t polished the grate.

  ‘Hello, Dolly! Goodness, you are early this morning.’

  Dolly didn’t wait to be asked, she just pushed her way in and made straight for the fire. ‘I thought I’d get to the shops early and get it over with. I’ve got a bleedin’ tub full of clothes to start on when I get back.’ She put her basket on the floor while she held her hands out to the flames. ‘It’s a corker out there, girl, cold enough to freeze the you-know-what off a monkey.’ There was a look of pure bliss on her face when the warmth started to seep through to her body. ‘Bleedin’ lovely that is.’ Then she bent down and took a magazine from the basket at her feet. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t given this back before now, girl, but I’ve been doing the rounds with it. I hate people who brag, but I haven’t half done my share this last week, I can tell yer. Everyone I know has seen Tess’s story, but if I think of someone I’ve left out I’ll borrow it again.’ Her chubby face creased into a smile. ‘Ay, yer should have seen the airs and graces I put on when I told them it had been written by the daughter of a friend of mine. Talk about toff wasn’t in it. I even cleaned me bleedin’ nails so I could point to where they had to read. It’s not often I’ve got anything to brag about, so I made the most of it. Ye’re not just a friend, ye’re me very best friend whether yer like it or not, so there! But joking aside, young Tess is very clever on the quiet. Yer should be proud of her.’

  ‘I didn’t want her to go to school this morning because I think she’s getting a cold, but she would have it that I let her go.’ Like Lizzie, Dolly Flannery always seemed to be in a good temper. She was never without a smile and could make a joke out of anything. Her very presence lifted Ann’s spirits. ‘Would you like a quick cuppa before you go to the shops?’

  ‘No thanks, girl, I’ll go while there’s not many people about to save hanging around waiting to be served. Is there anything I can get yer, save yer going out? It’s deadly trying to walk out there, ye’re slipping all over the ruddy place.’

  ‘We’re having left-overs for dinner, but I need a loaf and a quarter of corned beef for the girls’ lunch and George’s carry-out. That’s if you don’t mind?’

  ‘I don’t mind, girl, it’s no skin off my nose, ’cos I’m going to the shops anyway.’

  ‘I’ll get my purse and give you the money.’

  ‘Nah, pay me when I get back. I’m so flush these days with both kids working I don’t know meself. But if that cuppa’s still on offer, I’ll take yer up on it and rest me weary body for half an hour before I go back to the drudgery of wash day.’

  ‘You take care, now,’ Ann warned. ‘Watch where you’re walking.’

  The chubby face beamed. ‘If I’m not back in an hour, yer’ll know I’ve gone arse over elbow and yer’d better send for the lifeguards. Oh, and tell them to send nice-looking ones, I don’t want no ugly buggers lifting me up. I’ve got me pride.’

  Ann was smiling when she closed the door. To think she’d been worried about missing Hanford Avenue! She’d made friends so quickly here her days had been filled, and she wouldn’t go back now for any money. She missed Maisie and her family, but they’d exchanged visits a few times, and as Maisie said, they would always be friends.

  Her movements brisk, Ann finished the dishes, put four pans of water on the stove to boil for the dolly tub, then tidied and dusted the living room. She was just finished, and standing back to make sure there was nothing she’d missed, when the knocker sounded. This couldn’t be Dolly, there hadn’t been time for her to get to the shops and back. Throwing the duster in the cleaning box under the stairs, she went to answer the door.

  ‘It’s only me, me darlin’.’ Bridie was so well wrapped up, only her nose and eyes were visible. ‘I’m off to the shops and wondered if you wanted me to get yer anything. It’s not fit weather for man nor beast, and it’s meself that would be sitting in front of the fire if me bread bin wasn’t empty.’

  ‘Dolly called about fifteen minutes ago, on her way to the shops, and she’s getting me the few things I need. But thanks, Bridie, I appreciate the offer.’

  ‘I’ll see if I can catch up with Dolly, me darlin’. If we hang on to each other, sure we’ve more chance of staying upright.’

  ‘I rather think Dolly is hoping she falls,’ Ann laughed. ‘I’ve had strict instructions to call out the lifeguards if she’s not back within the hour. Oh, and they’ve got to be nice-looking lifeguards, ’cos she’s got her pride.’

  Bridie chuckled. ‘That woman is a case, so she is. But I’d not be having her any other way, and that’s the truth. Yer know exactly where yer are with Dolly. What yer see is what yer get, like it or lump it.’

  ‘I’m making a pot of tea for when she gets back, and you’re very welcome to join us.’

  Bridie nodded. ‘Just the job, me darlin’, just the job.’

  Ann was looking through the window and she had the door open before they could knock. She waited until they were in the living room before asking, ‘Well, no slip-ups? All in one piece I see?’

  Dolly did contortions with her face before she was satisfied she had the right expression to do justice to the tale she was about to tell. ‘Ye’re never going to believe this! But I’ll have to sit down to tell yer, ’cos I’m all overcome.’

  Without another word, they all sat down. Bridie and Ann faced Dolly across the table, and they waited as she stared into space. In the end, Bridie burst out laughing. ‘It looks like a fortune-tellers’ meeting and we’re waiting for Dolly to tell us what’s in store for us.’

  ‘Ay, girl, if I’d known what was going to happen to me today, I’d have put me best blue fleecy-lined bloomers on.’

  Ann held back the laughter. ‘Why, whatever on earth happened?’

  ‘A miracle, girl, a bleedin’ miracle. I got to the corner of the street and it was that slippy I thought I was going to fall. And I would have done if two strong arms hadn’t held on to me. And when I looked up to see who my saviour was, I came over all funny and thought I’d died and gone to heaven.’ She gazed up at the ceiling and put her hands together as though in prayer. ‘Forgive me, God, I nearly said “bleedin’ heaven” then. But as quick as a flash I told meself it wouldn’t put me in Your good books, so I didn’t say it. And I hope that when the day comes and I have to face my Maker, You have a blinking good memory.’

  ‘The good Lord will need more than a good memory, Dolly Flannery,’ Bridie said, trying to look stern. ‘It’s a sense of humour He’ll be needing, and a very forgiving nature.’

  ‘Don’t be getting yer knickers in a twist, Bridie, I have no intention of facing me Maker just yet. And I’ll make me apologies to Him in bed tonight, when I’m saying me prayers.’

  Ann remembered the tea. ‘Oh, crikey, the tea will be stiff. Not one word out of either of you until I get back.’ And silence reigned until they each had a cup of tea in front of them. ‘I didn’t have time to look for biscuits, you’ll have to do without.’ She folded her arms and sat back in the chair. ‘And now, Dolly, let’s hear what you’ve been up to.’

  ‘I haven’t been up to nothing, girl, ’cos as I told Victor, I’m a married woman.’

  ‘Who the heck is Victor?’

  Dolly clicked her tongue. ‘He’s the bloke what stopped me from landing on me backside! Very tall and handsome, with eyes the colour of the sky on a summer’s day, and a strong, rugged face. And dressed to the nines he was, with a posh overcoat and a grey trilby set at an angle, like yer see on the pictures. And he took a liking to me right away, I could see. He introduced himself and asked me name. Then he asked if I’d like to have dinner with him tonight at the Adelphi Hotel. Sadly I had to tell him I wasn’t a free woman, I was already took by me husband. He was dead upset and begged me to leave me husband and walk off into the sunset with him. A life of luxury I’d have, waited on hand and foo
t and wanting for nothing. But I stood firm and told him I couldn’t walk out on me husband and kids. And I told him I’d have to go because me dolly tub was full of dirty clothes. He tried again to coax me, but I wasn’t having any. So I held out me hand to shake his and say goodbye, and d’yer know what he did? He lifted it to his lips and kissed it.’ She rubbed the back of her left hand. ‘I’ll never wash this hand again as long as I live.’

  ‘I didn’t know you were ambidextrous, Dolly,’ Ann said, tongue in cheek. ‘I’ve never noticed.’

  Dolly put her folded arms under her bosom and hoisted it up so she could lean across the table in comfort. ‘What was that yer called me, girl?’

  ‘Before I tell you, can I ask if you’re left-handed?’

  ‘Am I heckerslike! I’m as right-handed as you are!’

  Kicking Bridie under the table, Ann said, ‘No you’re not, because when I shake hands I use my right hand.’

  ‘And what d’yer think I shake, pray? A bleedin’ leg?’

  ‘I’m just curious, that’s all. I mean why are you never going to wash your left hand when it was the right one that Victor kissed?’

  Dolly leaned back and her arms appeared from under the rather large bosom. She held her hands in front of her face and chuckled. ‘I told yer I didn’t know me arse from me elbow. But it was a good story, don’t yer think? Makes a day look less miserable when yer can have a laugh. I made it up while I was waiting for the man to cut your corned beef. If yer’d been getting half a pound instead of a quarter, I’d have had more time to spice it up a little. Yer know, something like yer see on the pictures, where a couple bump into each other when they’re turning a corner and it’s love at first sight. Romance blossoms just by looking into each other’s eyes, and they know they’re made for each other.’ She pressed both hands to her tummy to stop it from shaking while she chuckled. ‘Love at first sight, me backside! How d’yer know when yer meet someone for the first time whether they’ve got sweaty feet or bad breath?’