by Kiki Leach
My shoulders sank. “With only the slightest bit of explanation, he would understand.”
“I am certain he wouldn’t, as it’s quite clear that he fears a connection between us,” he said. “Inform him of this, and he shall not only disbelieve, but the very notion may perhaps push him over the edge, thus giving the king what he has wished for from the beginning. You may not have informed the entirety of our past, but he is keenly aware of something much deeper than he is being told. I can tell it every second he sees us together, the deeply solemn look in his eyes. He fears whatever was between us, and if you inform him of this, my quick change in demeanor, he may have my head in believing--”
I glowered. “In believing that I wish to keep you near me.”
“Exactly. Unless --”
“I don’t.” I whirled around and looked up at him. “However, I won’t inform him of anything we discussed. Thinking more of it, I’m not certain he would believe his own mother if she wrote a confession in her own blood.”
“Thank you.”
I moved my head about. “Don’t. None of this is for you.”
As I made my way toward the palace, I looked up and noticed Norvack standing on the balcony. He was drinking a goblet of something and staring down at us with a sort of intense expression; neither anger or sadness, but something, something I couldn’t explain if asked before an entire court. I took a deep breath and braced myself as I went inside and strolled toward our chambers.
He pulled the door back as soon as I approached and smiled, showcasing his glinting teeth. I felt suspicious of his reactions, but kept the feelings to myself. He nodded and closed the door.
“You look breathtaking as always,” he said.
I turned to him and he smiled again.
“Thank you.”
He bowed his head. “When I awoke and realized you were no longer beside me, I wondered where you had gone. And then I went to the balcony and noticed you walking the gardens. With John.”
“Yes…” I nervously tugged at my gown. “Yes, he wished to speak with me in private.”
“Regarding me? Or us? Or perhaps you, in fact, as he wished to speak with you alone.”
“Don’t, please.”
“What?” he asked, smiling once more. “I am only asking a simple question.”
“Yet not expecting a simple answer.”
“I am, in fact. Unless you wish to provide a more complicated answer to a most simple question.”
“Is this a riddle?”
“Perhaps.”
He sat down in a chair across from me and winked.
I snickered nervously.
“You’re beginning to remind me of the people in Cheshire who smile nonstop for no reason whatsoever.”
“You’ve been to Cheshire?” he asked.
“They’ve been to the village. You know that.”
He took a sip from his goblet and then stood, placing it on the edge of the desk beside him.
“I do know that.”
“What are you drinking?” I asked.
He didn’t answer and instead moved steadily toward me, standing just a few inches from my face. I felt the heat from his bare skin leap onto mine and gulped.
When he exhaled in my face, I had my answer of what had been in his goblet.
“It’s quite early for that.”
“Never too early for a drink, or questions.”
He stared deep into my eyes and draped his hands around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
I turned my face from his to avoid the harsh smell of liquor on his breath.
“Norvack--”
“What did he ask of you, Cinder girl?”
“Nothing.”
“He asked nothing of you? Absolutely nothing?”
“No.”
He paused.
“Why did you go to him this morning, Cinderella?”
I tried to escape his grip, but he wouldn’t allow me to move.
“Norvack--”
“You left me this morning to go to him. Why?”
“I’m back now, does it matter?”
“Yes.” He stopped. “I saw him take hold of your arm as you attempted to walk away from him.”
“He didn’t --”
“I saw it. You were intense with him, angry. You shared something together.”
“I don’t share anything with that man,” I muttered.
“You shared something with him, more than you will ever be willing to admit.” Norvack released my waist and took my face in his hands. “There was a time in which you told me everything and now you tell me nothing, my favorite girl.”
I reached for his wrists and removed his hands from my face.
“I fear your reaction to certain things. I never feared you, not once. And now--”
“You fear me?”
“I fear what you may become in knowing more of my life before you, during your time spent away. You have been determined for so long not to become your father and yet it seems that his power and influence has imbedded itself inside your soul, even if unwillingly. You have been more on a mission to destroy him and I have encouraged you in doing so. Yet I’m beginning to fear that it all may be destroying you instead. With the exception of yesterday, the time shared between us hasn’t been pleasant as of late. You asked what we had become and I still don’t know.”
He dropped his head in shame and pressed his chin against his chest. “You’re speaking of what happened prior.”
“Not only of that.” I shrugged. “You were so happy yesterday; I noticed as you danced, as we lay next to one another. But I no longer believe happiness exists inside of you as it once did, only in small doses. I can see in your face how angry and distraught you have been since the battle against England and you father’s lack of accolades toward you. I was so certain that giving myself to you would change things for the better.” I looked away in shame. “How shallow of me.”
“Not at all, my favorite,” he said. “You gave me the greatest gift in giving yourself to me, trusting me enough to take care of you.”
“It wasn’t enough. Because your father’s love for you matters more to you than mine ever will.”
He swallowed hard and sucked in his cheeks. “That isn’t true.”
And I knew he was attempting to lie to me more than to himself.
I grinned as tears began to build inside my eyes. “I understand it now more than I ever did. He is your king, and you wish to please and make him proud of you as a prince, and as his son. You wish to be the man Willem was and to have what he did, with the exception of who he was as a person. I don’t understand it in the terms that I have never had someone I was so determined to prove myself to, but I understand it for you. And I don’t blame you for it. But…”
As I continued to stroke his face, he closed his eyes and turned his lips toward my palm. His tongue on my skin aroused me; I lost all concentration and I suckled my bottom lip.
“We shouldn’t,” I said in a low voice, grinding my teeth. “There is no need for you to prove yourself to me, Norvack. The way you feel for me is something I have never questioned.”
“As there has never been a need. However…”
He reached around and began to loosen the strings on my gown. He bent down to kiss and lightly nibble my neck and I wrapped my arms around him, embracing our immediate closeness.
“I wish to make love to you,” he whispered against my skin.
And in my inability to resist him, we did.
The Ally
Later that afternoon, Brigita and I ate brunch alone in the grand ballroom as the queen felt slightly ill and had remained in bed all morning. Meanwhile, Norvack and Belarus were forced to entertain John on the outskirts of the palace with a discussion of various political matters. I picked at my grapefruit as I looked toward the window, watching them.
“Norvack is beginning to use intercourse as a way to disregard whatever seems to be going on between us at the moment,” I blurted.
“I apologize,” I said.
She placed a hand on her chest and cleared her throat, then sat her goblet down and nodded, making the most peculiar face. “I’m not certain we should discuss such a matter in this moment, Princess.”
“Perhaps you’re right. This isn’t proper to discuss before the evening.”
“No need for apologies, Cinderella. I was only…” She giggled a little, embarrassed. “I wasn’t prepared for such a statement at all.”
“Yes, well, I haven’t been prepared for his actions either.” I sighed. “One moment I feel so safe in his arms and that everything will be alright between us. And then something else comes upon us that I am unable to control. And all the fears I once had return in such a rush that I am no longer able to control my own thoughts or what I say next; neither is he. And then his actions --”
“John’s presence?”
I looked into her eyes and soured. “Yes. And Belarus’ fascination with him in favor of his own son. He has no clue how John’s presence has affected Norvack as a man of power. But I do.”
I tossed my napkin on the table and sat back. Then turned to look out the window once more. Norvack appeared so jovial, so in tune with the king and John, so unaware of the latter’s true intentions. Guilt overcame me in that moment as I felt he deserved to know all truths; but how would my own truth affect the outcome of it all?
“Before he arrived to the palace, we made love -- days before, but…”
“But?”
I bent forward and placed my hands upon the table, lowering my tone of voice. “It wasn’t as it had always been. It wasn’t a moment shared between us and for us, so much as for himself and his personal needs as a man. Norvack used that moment, such an innocent and sacred moment shared, as a way to prove that I belonged to him, that no one else would have me, ever. The manner in which he approached the situation was equivalent to that of a dog marking its territory.”
She grimaced and looked away. “Oh, my. Cinder.”
“Hand to the highest of powers,” I said. “It’s how I felt, and he was aware of it. He became aware once we were finished. Since then, it’s been quite subtle, but he continues to use it as a way to prove something to one of us, discontinue arguments, solve ongoing issues, and so on.”
“If you don’t enjoy it, why continue on in that manner?” she asked.
“Because I DO enjoy it, making love to him. I just…” I whimpered. “Being in love with him makes things extremely difficult. I crave and ache for him often. There are times when I know I shouldn’t. Times when I wish to slap him for being so utterly crass and even times I wish he were dead. But what I feel for him, what I truly feel overrides that. It overrides it all! And I am almost ashamed to admit it.”
“Why?”
I took a sip of tea and moved my head about. “Because I was never one to allow my emotions to speak for me. I was always the girl from the village who used her mind instead of leading with her heart. And now, he has changed all of that. I wish to continue leading with my mind, yet my heart manages each and every single time to win.”
“Good morning!” hollered a voice from across the room.
I looked over Brigita’s shoulder and noticed Esme flouncing in, wearing a bright green gown so fitted at the waist, I was certain her breasts would come out if she were to be touched in an improper place on her bodice. Or bend over. Brigita glared at her, then turned her attention forward.
“Morning,” I said. I took another sip of tea and smirked. “Is this what you plan to wear for the evening?”
She shrugged, dipping a piece of bread in a cup of warm butter and taking a bite. “Perhaps.” She looked out onto the lawn and saw John. He looked back at us and nodded.
Brigita purposely turned her face away from him, while Esme embraced every moment of his attention, grinning from ear to ear and wiggling her fingers in the manner of a slight waving.
“Shall I offer you some tea, Miss?” asked Brigita.
Esme tossed her hand. “No, no. In fact, I think I shall join them on the lawn in favor of brunch.”
“I think not. You shall eat instead. Besides, they’re discussing politics, something of which I am certain would bore you to literal tears.”
“Or enlighten me.”
“Sit, down, Esme,” I snapped.
She peered at me then pulled out a chair and sunk down like an annoyed child, ripping another piece of bread between her teeth.
“I’ll excuse myself,” said Brigita. She stood and nodded to us both. “Mistress… Miss.”
“Thank you.” I leaned forward and stared at Esme for a long while. She continued to pout and roll her eyes at me. I laughed to myself and began picking at my grapefruit once more. “How old are you again?”
“Quite old enough to know that my sex life is flourishing while yours flounders.”
I arched a brow in revulsion at her words and glowered. “Are you so certain, little girl? I don’t believe my husband would agree with that but it’s neither here nor there as it is truly none of your business--”
“And what I choose to do with John is of yours?”
“It is! For reasons you could never seem to understand, even if explained to you in the manner of a child. However, seeing your behavior as of late, perhaps explaining it to you would be quite simple.”
“Not every man belongs to you, Cinderella! John has chosen me just as Norvack chose you.”
“Chosen? Were you with him today?”
She reached over and grabbed Brigita’s goblet and took a sip of her tea. She remained silent as I stared directly at her face.
“He has put you under some kind of spell, hasn’t he? You truly believe that in continuing to give yourself to him, it means that you two shall be a union in the eyes of God.”
“You don’t know what I believe,” she hissed. She wiped her mouth with a napkin and stood. “I’ve had enough of this.”
As she backed away from the table, John entered. She hadn’t noticed and managed to slam right into his chest. He laughed as she quickly whirled around; her face ashen though her cheeks began to flush.
“My apologies, former General,” she said with a curtsey. “I had no idea you were right behind me.”
“Yes, well, it’s alright.” He smiled and winked at her.
She became flummoxed and I felt like puking all over the room.
“If I may,” she began.
“If I may,” he interrupted. “I need to speak with Cinderella in private.”
“Where’s Norvack?” I asked.
“Off with his father. I wish to speak with you alone, Princess.” He looked to Esme again and grinned even wider. “If I may.”
She whipped her head aside to frown at me, then turned back to him and exhaled harshly.
“Of course!” She curtsied again. “You may. I shall be in my chambers if you are in need of me as well.”
“And if not, I shall greet you at the dinner tonight.”
She smiled, though deceitfully. “Very well, Sir.” She looked back at us one more time -- deep anger, and perhaps even a bit of jealousy had set in -- before finally exiting.
“I don’t wish to speak with you anymore than I have already,” I told him.
“Pity. I was certain we were beginning to enjoy one another’s company again.” He walked over to the chair and pulled it out. “May I sit?” He sat down before I could answer and began taking pieces of bread from the center of the table, as well as other food items, and placing them on a clean plate. “The food smells quite divine. Have some.”
I got up from my chair and stepped away from the table. “I’ve had a fill of it this morning, thank you.”
“Nonsense! That growing child inside of you is in need of more nutrients. A simple piece of fruit will not do the trick.”
I turned back to him, seething. “What did you say to me?”
He licked his fingers and prepared to dine. “I was quite clear i
n what I said. A child is growing inside of you--”
“I informed you earlier that I was not with child and it would be ever so kind if you would stop speaking such utter nonsense!”
“You seem to be the one speaking such utter nonsense, my dear Cinderella. Pregnant with Norvack’s child and you’re refusing to inform him of it?”
I raced forward and reached for a knife on the table. As swiftly as I could, I clutched it between my fingers and placed the sharp blade at the front of his throat. The movement never seemed to phase him as he continued eating.
“Why such secrecy?” he asked, as he continued stuffing his face with bread and cheese. “Surely the prince will figure it out soon enough.”
I leaned down and pressed my lips against his ear. “Why are you refusing to believe the truth as it has been told to you once?”
He turned his head a little and lifted his brows. “Why are you refusing to acknowledge it?” he whispered. “This should be a joyous time shared between you and the prince, and instead you choose to keep it to yourself.”
“I am not with child!” I screamed in his ear and tossed the knife onto the table. I moved across the room and took my face in my hands.
John came up behind, so close I could feel his breath on my neck. But I didn’t move. “What if our child had in fact lived?” he asked in a curious tone. “This morning in the garden…” He stopped. “It was the first time I had ever pondered such a thought. What if our child had in fact lived?”
“As if it would matter,” I snapped, looking aside. “You wished for me to rid myself of it the moment you learned of it.”
“I was wrong, then. We… We could have had a splendid life together, you and I.”
“Stop it. Your inconsistency is driving me completely mad! Almost as mad as you. The life you chose is the one you were meant to lead, and I never loved you. I never wished to be with you in any way, let alone bear your child --”
“Had it lived, would you have kept it or given it away to another?”
“What kind of question is that? Is the notion not obvious? As if I could have provided a stable life for a child when I was just a child myself, living off of the scraps merchants tossed in the streets or in the garbage! God, John, what does it matter now anyway? None of it happened -- none of it was meant to happen.”
