At that thought everything shifted, and the feelings became far too significant to be contained in a temporary dating situation. If she wasn’t careful, she could lose herself in him entirely. Not a wise thing to do with a man who had someone else in his life. Someone innocent and small who had to come first.
This was a huge mistake.
She pulled away, struggling for breath, for composure. Parker gave her his lazy smile. “What’s wrong?”
“This is.” She turned her face away, blinking against threatening tears.
“Caity.” He sounded confused, as she knew he had a right to be.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have . . .” She had been going to say, “led you on,” but she hadn’t really been leading him on. Only herself. What made her think dating him for a few weeks would free her? It would only make her more vulnerable.
His hand reached for her chin, drawing her face around to him. “It’s okay,” he said hoarsely. He kissed her once more, brushing her lips lightly, and then whispered in her ear, “Come on. We should go now.” He took her hand, leading her toward the door.
Nodding, she went with him, feeling unsteady as though walking in a dream.
Chapter 17
Caitlin awoke in her bed alone on Thursday morning. Weak light filtered in through her blinds, making a pattern on her quilt. The angle of the light told her it was still early but time to get up. She stretched as thoughts of Parker and last night came rushing back, both the fun time they’d had at dinner and the encounter at the apartment. Everything had been so right, so natural—until the fear set in. After that, it had been a relief to escape alone to her car.
Oddly enough, she’d slept rather well—after reliving the scene only a half-dozen times.
Forcing herself from the bed, Caitlin readied for her day. She planned to get Parker in to see a family judge that day, or tomorrow at the latest. Then he’d get to see Madeline. Maybe that would give him the patience to trust in the system.
Her phone rang. “Hello?”
“Hey.”
It was Kenny. “What’s up?”
“Absolutely nothing. I’m sorry, Caitlin. Some of my contacts caught up with Ron Briggs’s friends, but they claim they don’t know Dakota Allen or anything about her drug use.”
“What about the new boyfriend? Where’d he get that car?”
“A car dealership. He works there now.”
Caitlin’s heart plunged. “She had drugs at the house a few weeks ago. That doesn’t just go away.”
“I’m gonna find an excuse to go inside her house today. I have a uniform that looks like the gas—”
“I don’t want to know details,” Caitlin said hurriedly. She hoped he wasn’t doing anything illegal.
“Well, I’ll look around as much as possible, but the police covered it when the girl was missing, so I don’t expect anything big. She’ll be careful.”
“There has to be someone who can connect her to the drugs.”
“If there is, I haven’t seen any sign of them. But it’s early yet. I have more people to talk to. Unfortunately, that means more time.”
“Whatever it takes. My case hinges on finding something. If not, my client could serve time.” Not finding any sort of evidence hadn’t been a thing she’d considered seriously before. People using drugs just weren’t that smart.
“She’ll mess up sooner or later,” Kenny said, voicing her thoughts. “It’s a matter of time.”
Unless it was Parker who was lying. What if he’d made everything up to get off the charges? To evoke sympathy? He could be playing her even now. She didn’t want to believe that, but even his tenderness at the apartment last night could have been a ploy.
“Keep trying. I’ll talk to my friend at the police station later. Maybe they’ve had better luck.”
“Later, then.” Kenny disconnected the phone.
Caitlin stared at it and sighed. Where was Parker now? Already at work? Driving there? Was he thinking of her?
She flopped onto the bed, her arms outstretched, tears running down her face. Suddenly she hated her life. She hated being an attorney and working with criminals. She wanted to change her name and run away to a deserted island and lie in the sun all day, sipping something cool and fruity.
“Caitlin?” Amy was in the doorway, looking at her with concern, her shirt buttoned wrong and her hair standing up on one side.
For a minute Caitlin didn’t move or speak. Amy came farther into the room, sitting down on the bed. “Are you sick?”
“No,” Caitlin whispered. “Maybe.” How could she tell her sister that she was falling in love with a man who might turn out to be a criminal? With a man who made her want to give up everything to be with him? One thing was sure, she was certainly crazy. She had to get a grip. On herself and on reality.
She forced herself to a seated position, wiping the tears away. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
“I love you, Caitlin.” Amy’s worried face hadn’t changed, so Caitlin knew she was still transparent. Time to put on her attorney mask—and maybe she could keep it on the next time she saw Parker.
Caitlin scooted over to Amy and began re-buttoning her blouse. “What do you want to eat today? We still have some of your favorite cereal.” She hoped her sister wouldn’t plead for warm oatmeal with raisins. It was nearly time to leave.
“Okay.” Amy’s smile was back, and the tension was leaving her body. “But there’s a surprise in the kitchen. It’s for you.”
“What?”
“He brought them. But he didn’t stay. You were in the shower.”
Caitlin jumped to her feet and ran to the kitchen. Sitting on the table where Parker had eaten the other night was a vase filled with sunflowers. Sunflowers in November, she thought. There was a card, and she opened it hastily. In bold letters it read: I can wait. Parker.
Caitlin gripped the note tightly in her hand, partially crumpling it.
“What does it say?” Amy asked.
“Nothing important.” Caitlin opened a drawer and threw the note inside.
• • •
Sally had nothing new to report, the judge couldn’t review Parker’s case until the next day, and Kenny called to say he had to take a few hours to work on another case. Caitlin began to worry.
Shortly before noon, Parker called. “Any news?”
“The judge will see us tomorrow.” Caitlin tried to sound upbeat.
“That means I won’t be able to see her tomorrow, doesn’t it?”
She could imagine him raking a hand through his brown hair. “Most likely. They usually give the caregiver a day or so to work out arrangements.”
“I can’t stand this.”
The fact that they had no leads or evidence on Dakota was more troubling to Caitlin, but she didn’t want to make his day worse. “Look,” she said, “can you name any more of Dakota’s friends? Or people who might know what she’s up to?”
“You haven’t been able to find anything, have you?”
She shook her head, forgetting he couldn’t see her. “We’re still working on it. Don’t worry too much.”
“What about any news from CPS? Have they called?”
“No.”
He was silent. “Caitlin, I’m worried. Madeline hasn’t called again.”
She started to say that Kenny was watching the house, but he wasn’t at the moment, and come to think of it, he hadn’t mentioned seeing Madeline that day.
“You want me to trust the system,” Parker said. “But it’s driving me crazy not knowing that Madeline’s safe. What should I do? Can you go over there and check on her?”
“I don’t have a reason.”
“What about on some pretense as my attorney? Please, Caitlin.”
She’d meant to thank him for the flowers, but now they seemed inconsequential. She swallowed hard. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks.” He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was lower. “Will I see you today?”
&nb
sp; “I don’t know. Maybe.” There was no real reason for them to meet, except that she wanted to see him.
She worked through lunch, and finally at four she loaded herself up with files, called it an early day, and went to pick up Amy. Instead of going home, she drove back to Salt Lake City, to the south side where Madeline and Dakota lived. She parked across the street, looking at the house. The neighborhood was old and run-down, though not nearly as bad as where many of her clients lived. The yard around Dakota’s house in particular had been let go, and the weeds had choked out much of the grass. A battered car was in the driveway, so Dakota was probably home. By every account, she didn’t appear to be working at the moment.
“Is this where the little girl lives?”
“Yes.” Caitlin had told Amy the bare minimum about Madeline to stop her endless questions.
Amy opened the door. “Come on. I want to see her.”
Caitlin felt a chill. What was she doing bringing Amy here? What if there was danger? Worse, what if there wasn’t danger and Parker was obsessed? What if she was falling for a crazy man?
Falling.
She closed her eyes briefly, willing those thoughts to a far corner in her mind. She’d brought Amy as her excuse. With Amy, she hoped Dakota wouldn’t simply slam the door in her face. They walked up the crumbling steps and knocked on the door. Amy hummed under her breath, unconcerned, but Caitlin’s empty stomach churned with acid.
The door opened, and to Caitlin’s relief, Madeline stood there. Her brown eyes lit up. “Caitlin! You remembered! Is this your sister?” She looked up at the towering Amy without fear. “She’s big.”
“She’s tall, but she’s only just a little older than you are. I came so you two could meet.” Caitlin looked beyond the child, trying to sense if someone was in the room behind her.
“I like your dad,” Amy said. “We had a tea party. I told him to hold out his pinky like this.” She mimicked drinking tea.
“We could have a tea party,” Madeline said eagerly, opening the door wider. She shivered in the shorts and T-shirt she was wearing. “Come in. It’s cold out there.”
Caitlin threw out an arm to stop Amy from rushing inside. “Is your mother here?”
“She’s in the bedroom with my brother. I’ll get her.”
Caitlin allowed Amy to step inside far enough so they could close the door behind them. That gave them relief from the cold; it would also be harder for Dakota to kick them out. Caitlin surveyed the room. None of the furniture was new-looking or particularly clean, but the room didn’t look neglected or abused. Her eyes went to the TV, which sat on a scratched wooden cart in the corner of the room. No small plastic bag of drugs. Had there ever been?
There was movement down the hall, and Madeline came back into sight, followed by Dakota, who carried a young toddler in her arms. She was wearing tight, low-riding jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. No shoes. Her roots had been redone, and her hair looked nice, if a bit too blonde for Caitlin’s taste. She appeared younger and less sharp than she had at the police station. She must have been sleeping, which would explain the mascara beneath the heavy-lidded eyes, the messy hair, and the half-asleep child in her arms.
Why was she sleeping at this time of day? Was she sleeping off drugs? Was she pregnant? Or maybe she’d had a late night with her boyfriend.
The tentative smile on Dakota’s face vanished when she saw Caitlin. “You’re Parker’s lawyer,” she said without preamble.
“I’m his court-appointed representative,” she said automatically. Sometimes those words helped because they made it clear that she wasn’t being paid by the client himself, and that she hadn’t solicited his business. Some might also assume she didn’t have a choice in representing a client, though that wasn’t quite true. She could walk away at any time, recusing herself from the case. Given her obsession with Parker, she probably should. “But he’s not why I’m here,” she added hurriedly. “Last Monday I told Madeline about my sister and promised I’d let them meet. Today seemed like a good opportunity to keep my promise.”
“Caitlin picked me up early,” Amy put in. “She’s usually late. I hate it when she’s late.” She lowered her voice and added to Madeline, “She’s always too tired to have tea.”
“My tea set’s in the kitchen.” Madeline took a step in that direction, signaling for Amy to follow.
“Madeline!” her mother said sharply. “They aren’t staying.”
Madeline frowned. “But—”
“She’s right,” Caitlin interjected. “We only stopped by for a minute.” Caitlin met Dakota’s eyes. “Maybe we can get them together another day.”
Dakota’s lips pursed. “You’re defending him,” she hissed. “He took my baby.”
Madeline’s eyes grew wide, and she looked ready to cry. “Mommy,” she whined. The little boy in Dakota’s arms lifted his head to stare into his mother’s face. After a few seconds of looking, he kicked to get down and then toddled over to his sister, who put her arm around him. He was a beautiful child, Caitlin saw, as beautiful as Madeline. Dakota certainly had good genes in that respect.
Caitlin’s mind searched for a way to defuse the situation. “I’m sorry we came. I just thought the girls might like the company. I know what it’s like being a single mother. Sort of. I have custody of Amy. She’s a special girl and likes to play with girls her, uh, intellectual age.”
Dakota’s attention shifted to Amy, who was squatted now on the ground, talking to the little boy and giggling like a child. “Oh,” Dakota said, the anger gone from her voice.
“Well, we should be going now.” Caitlin motioned to her sister. “Come on, Amy.”
Dakota narrowed her eyes. “You really didn’t come to talk about the case?”
“No—unless there’s something you want to say.”
“I told the DA everything.” Dakota’s face brightened, and Caitlin wondered if she was thinking of Mace Keeley. Caitlin had barely thought of him since he’d kissed her the day before, but she could still remember when he had been on her mind almost constantly. Before she’d met Parker.
“You’ve talked with him?”
“Several times. Apparently he’s brilliant. Never loses a case.”
Caitlin wondered who had told her that. “He’s very good in the courtroom. Has a certain flair.” Almost like an actor.
Dakota relaxed further, her blue eyes gleaming. “If I wasn’t getting married . . .” She lifted her brow suggestively.
“I know exactly what you mean.” But Caitlin stifled the urge to laugh. How ludicrous to think Mace would ever consider a relationship with someone like Dakota Allen.
Yet what had Dakota been like when she and Parker had first met? It must have been about ten years ago, when they were barely out of their teens. They would have been full of youth and life, determined to enjoy themselves, doing what they saw as bucking the system. Parker was a different man now, or so the reports indicated. Something had caused him to change. Had it only been Madeline’s birth? Maybe.
Yet perhaps there was something more, something she’d overlooked. She’d have to go through the reports again to see if they contained a hint of something more.
Did it really matter?
Yes. Because if something hadn’t changed him, maybe he wasn’t really changed. Maybe he’d simply become better at lying.
Blocking these thoughts, Caitlin forced her mind back to the conversation. “You’re getting married?”
“Yes. As soon as all this is behind me.” Dakota fluttered her hands, making sure Caitlin saw the small diamond ring on her finger.
“Do you plan to sue for full custody?”
“I have full custody now. But soon I’ll be able to make sure Parker doesn’t keep—” Dakota broke off as though suddenly becoming aware that the children were listening. “Go to the kitchen and show her the tea set,” she told Madeline.
When they were gone, she continued, her voice lowered. “Anyway, it was an awful time. I was so afraid.
”
So afraid that according to Sally, she’d waited several hours before calling the police.
Caitlin chose her words carefully. “I’ve talked a lot in the past few days with your ex-husband, Ms. Allen. I know what he did, and that it was wrong, but oddly enough he seems dedicated to his daughter.”
Tears sprang to Dakota’s eyes. “Everybody believes him, but you don’t know him like I do. I had to live with him. He’s controlling. He forces you to do what he wants. I couldn’t stay with him.”
Caitlin thought of how Parker had acted last night at his apartment. She thought of the flowers and the note: I can wait. In her book, those weren’t the words of a controlling man. But if Dakota had felt half the attraction for Parker that Caitlin felt, even a suggestion from Parker might have seemed that way. Yet hadn’t it been Dakota who walked away from the relationship? Dakota who claimed Madeline wasn’t Parker’s child?
Dakota was watching her, but Caitlin couldn’t tell if the gaze was calculating or honest. “I see,” Caitlin said. “Well, we really should go.”
“When this is all over, I wouldn’t mind you coming by with your sister. Is she good with children?”
Caitlin had thought Dakota understood about Amy, but apparently she didn’t. “Amy loves children,” she said, not bothering to explain again.
On the way home, Amy was full of conversation about her “new friend and the cute little boy.” Caitlin let the sounds roll over her. She should call Parker and let him know what happened. At least he’d know that for the moment, Madeline was fine.
She didn’t want to call him. Despite all her blossoming doubts, she wanted to see him. Yet showing up at his apartment today wasn’t practical or wise. Or attorney-like. Instead, she’d give him a call when she arrived home, using her best business voice. As though nothing personal existed between them.
In the end, there was no need for the call. When she pulled up at her house, Parker’s blue truck was sitting in front. “You’re late,” he called cheerfully, lugging two grocery sacks up to the garage, where Amy ran to him excitedly.
“What are you doing here?” Amy asked.
“Bringing you dinner. I missed you last night, and you did say that those pizza pie things were your favorite food, didn’t you? I hope I got the right kind.”
Saving Madeline Page 20
