by C. E. Glines
He turned and stared at me for the longest time. “You have to let me keep you safe.”
That was the most egotistical, male chauvinist comment. My anger that had cooled welled up in me again.
He was in front of me in an instant. His hands were planted on either side of my hips and his nose once again inches from mine. “I need to protect you. Can you not understand that?”
I understood the need to protect. It was what I currently felt towards the hybrids at the Colony. But I couldn’t say I was receptive to the way he expressed that need—if that was what it was. I wasn’t convinced that this wasn’t some kind of play for alpha dominance.
“One day,” I said. “Then I go with or without you.” I knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but I was done with trying to “work” with him. He’d gone too far this time.
“Then get your butt off my desk so I can work.”
Truce struck, I slid off the desk and started to brush past him, but he grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop. While neither of us looked at the other, he said, “Macy. Don’t ever challenge me again.”
I slowly turned my eyes to him. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that all the revulsion I felt at that command shone in my eyes. I waited until he met my gaze before I responded.
“I am not yours to command. I am not one of your soldiers. I am not even officially your employee. But whatever I am to you, I will never be ordered around like a submissive cub. You don’t challenge that.”
Adam bristled with rage, but his hand dropped from my arm, and I stalked away from the desk. Shaking with my own suppressed rage, I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to make it back to the phone without collapsing. But I couldn’t display weakness now. Not after all that.
Determinedly, I walked back to the phone and called Miranda. She picked up on the first ring this time.
“You okay?” I asked.
“We’re going to get them, right? Please tell me we’re going to get them.”
“Yes.” I didn’t even look at Adam as I confirmed it, but I did smell the spike of anger that wafted from his direction. I knew he could smell mine too. We’d both shifted during the confrontation. His desk bore score marks where I’d been. I might regret that later, but not right now.
“When do we leave?”
I sensed her switch from grief struck friend on the edge of panic to woman of action. She was always good at compartmentalizing. I’d never needed to before, but I’d had a crash course in it this week. I had stuffed so much stuff in so many places that I hoped it didn’t explode all at once.
“Adam’s making a plan right now.”
“Oh, that’s good. You said he was good at this stuff.”
Guilt shot through my heart. I did say that. And he was. I stuffed that into some already overstuffed compartment and confirmed her assessment. “He’s excellent.”
“So, we wait?”
“We wait.”
“Are you okay? You don’t sound okay.”
I glanced in Adam’s direction. He was still in hybrid mode. I wasn’t going to answer right now while he could hear me. “I’ll see you when we get there.” It was tightlipped, and she deserved better, but it was all I could give at the moment.
She hesitated before answering with a sigh. “I’ll be here.”
I hung up before the understanding in her voice caused me to break down. There was one more thing I needed to address with Adam. “Do you know where Kenny is?”
“In the woods,” he answered without looking up. “My operative just informed me.”
Of course he knew. He knew what he was doing. I trusted him, right?
I closed my eyes and leaned back into the seat. This truce between me and Adam felt like nails being dragged across a chalkboard. I couldn’t relax. The confrontation with Adam had left me shaken. I found myself simultaneously doubting Adam and my own abilities.
I’d had another uncontrolled shift. I wasn’t naïve enough to think that I would become a hybrid and do everything perfectly right away. But I expected it nonetheless. Did that make me a perfectionist? I didn’t know, but it did leave me disappointed.
As did Adam’s implication that some of the hybrids belonged to the Organization. That little omission of his was another sore spot. When did the secrets end with him? Granted, five or six days may have not given him enough time to tell me everything. But this was different. This was personal to me.
Despite all the drama associated with the teen hybrids, which had nothing on the adult ones I’d been with this week, I loved them. I didn’t quite realize that until this week.
Over the last two years of my substitute parenting, I’d gotten to know them. They all had my phone number on speed dial. Many a time, after an early morning phone call from a broken hearted teen hybrid, did I regret that decision. But, as we got to know each other, they’d become like family to me. I couldn’t let them down, any more than I already had.
Adam spent the rest of the plane flight working, and I spent the rest of it worrying. By the time we got to Montana, I was exhausted. Adam hadn’t said another word to me the entire trip. That didn’t change when we landed. He left the cabin and me without delay.
I felt a burst of cool air as the door to the plane was opened. Adam exchanged a greeting with someone, even laughed a little. It was a miracle. He did still have the power of speech.
I got up and collected the jacket I’d discarded on the plane. Making my way to the exit, I spotted Adam already seated in one of those hunter golf cart ATVs. With the way he’d been acting, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he pulled away and left me there.
I shrugged on the jacket as I jogged down the stairs. It felt good to move again, even if it was only fifteen feet. When I reached the ground, he was still there, so I guessed that meant he was waiting for me. I climbed in and without so much as a sideways glance, he took off.
All I could see were the surrounding mountains. It looked like Adam was going to run us straight into them until I spotted a natural looking rock gateway. Adam slowed down and part of the rock slid away, revealing an opening just big enough for the ATV.
As soon as we cleared the entrance, the entire scene changed. Nestled in a large valley between the mountains, was the largest log cabin I’d ever seen. It reminded me of a wilderness lodge you would see on a postcard.
We sped across the grounds to the back of the lodge. A servant came forward and exchanged places with us in the cart. Another person, a slightly older and rotund woman, greeted us and then ushered us into a large kitchen. Her cell phone rang, and she walked a few feet away from us to answer it.
“I’m going to go shower, you okay?” Adam asked coldly.
I was startled that he’d spoken to me, but not that he was dumping me here. “Sure,” I said without feeling, because that was how I felt—numb.
Seemingly oblivious to my emotional state, he left, leaving me alone in the kitchen with Rotundo.
“That is truly not flattering,” she said stiffly as she walked up behind me.
Crap. Was this another mind reader I had to contend with? I turned to her, ready to apologize, but my apology died on my lips. She wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at a dead pig being put on a spit. I had to agree. Not flattering at all.
“Are the other’s here?” I asked.
“Are you speaking of Agents Juarez and Olivia or the two procreating like rabbits?”
I smiled despite myself. I totally appreciated her frankness. “Let’s start with the unengaged agents, shall we?” I said.
“It would spare these innocent eyes. In any case, you’d be entirely on your own. I’ve sworn off their entire hallway after my first encounter with Cedar’s bare backside.”
Better her than me. Though it made me worry how I’d get in to see Miranda.
“Just follow me,” she said merrily as she led the way.
I increased her intelligence rating due to the fact that she hadn’t tried to give me directions. I didn’t really pay atte
ntion to where we were going. Everything was just sort of a blur. I stopped when she did. We were standing at the end of a hallway. The semicircle that it formed had two doors.
“Juarez is in the room to your left, and Olivia is on the right,” she said. “You need anything else?”
I shook my head no and watched her leave. Looking at Olivia’s door, I wondered if I had the courage for this. This was what I signed up for, right? The good, the bad, and the just plain I don’t want to.
I took a deep breath and walked the few steps to Olivia’s room. I knocked softly and eased the door open. Poking my head in, I saw she was in the bed amidst a swaddling of blankets and pillows.
“Hey, Einstein,” she said weakly from her cocoon as she tried to sit up.
“No need to get up on my account,” I implored, hurrying to her side, but she continued to struggle determinedly. Putting one arm around her back, I helped her to sit and then adjusted her pillows.
“You just lifted me with one arm,” she said.
Did I? “Yay super hybrid me.” It lacked any enthusiasm, but I didn’t think she noticed. Sliding a nearby chair close to her bed, I sat down. “How are you doing?”
“I’ve been better,” she snorted and then winced in pain. “My ribs were shattered,” she gasped out. “One or more of them punctured my lung. I cannot even remember all my other injuries. All that to say, it’s taken a little longer than normal to recover. But the nanobots are hard at work.”
I sat there caught between the need to help her and the need to scream. “Olivia, I’m so sorry,” I finally managed to choke out.
“It’s not your fault,” she assured me. It was the same thing Adam had said. “Pike and the Consortium are the ones responsible.” A dark shadow passed over her face. “Mostly Pike.”
I didn’t know what all he had done to her, but I knew none of it was good. “You won’t ever have to worry about Pike again,” I told her.
She fixed her school teacher’s glare on me. “Is that so?”
“Yeah. He attacked me, and I fought back. Adam finished him off.”
She nodded. “That’s good.” Her eyes closed for so long that I thought she might have drifted off to sleep. I shifted to get up when she opened them again. “Have you seen Juarez?” Her voice was filled with uncertainty.
“Not yet. I just got here.” The pain displayed on her face right now wrapped a weight around my heart. “Do you two share a bond?”
She nodded and tears coursed down her face. I reached out and captured her hand. She squeezed it once in thanks.
“I couldn’t shield him from everything.” She was crying and wincing in pain simultaneously. “In the end, I shielded him from nothing.” Her breath was coming in ragged gasps.
The weight on my heart grew and seemed to envelop my whole being. That must have been the worst thing in the world for both of them to go through. There was nothing I could say or do to make it any better. I just held her hand as she fought to regain control.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the rescue plan. I thought they would be listening,” I said.
She painfully cleared her throat and swiped at the remaining tears. “We always knew there would be one. It was just a matter of time,” she said shakily.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
The grip she had on my hand became hard as steel. “You can use your super hybrid self to help us stop them and those like them.”
“That, I can do,” I nodded.
She was clearly exhausted by our exchange, and I helped her lay back down. “Get some rest, okay?”
“Sure,” she mumbled, already on her way to sleep.
I watched her sleep for a few moments, thinking about the price she’d paid. I desperately hoped it was in service to the Organization and not for me. But I couldn’t stop the words, my fault, from ringing in my ears.
I felt like I was walking through water as I made my way over to Juarez’s room. I found him awake and in better shape than Olivia.
His eyes lit up at my entrance. “MacyKat,” he said warmly, setting his laptop aside.
I shut the door and leaned against it.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.
I shook my head, but was unable to speak.
He looked at me puzzled for a moment then understanding dawned. “You saw Olivia.”
I nodded and then blew out a breath. “Sorry. I didn’t expect to have this reaction when I came in here.”
He patted the bed beside him, indicating for me to sit. “It’s okay. How is she?”
“Weak.” My voice cracked under the strain, and I swallowed trying to rid myself of the painful lump that had formed in my throat.
He nodded and looked away. Then he crossed his arms, tucking his hands in like he was hugging himself. “She’s shut me out,” he said. “Won’t speak to me or acknowledge me.” Tears filled his eyes and the knot reformed in my throat.
“She’s hurting,” I said, approaching the bed. “Not just physically, but emotionally, too.” I sat down with my back to him. “I don’t know everything Pike did to her.”
“I do,” he cut in furiously.
Even though I didn’t have a bond with him, I could sense the anger rolling off of him in waves. I turned to face him, and he skewered me with his glowing eyes. Clearly, he was a man on the edge, desperately in need of an outlet for his anger and an even greater need to help his mate. Not wanting to antagonize him further, I remained motionless until the glow faded from his eyes.
“I heard you killed him,” he said gruffly. Though the glow had faded, his voice still carried the authority of a predator.
I nodded once in confirmation.
“How,” he growled at me. It was not a question.
“He came into my tent and attacked me. I fought back. Partially ripped his throat out, and then Adam nearly ripped his head from his shoulders.”
“Good girl,” he said vehemently.
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. My feelings of guilt for their suffering were smothering me. My words came out in one long rush. “I’m sorry, Juarez. I never meant for any of this to happen. Not with the Agency or the Organization and not with you and Olivia. None of it.” I held my breath and waited for his condemnation to justify my own.
But his expression softened. “Oh MacyKat, nobody holds you responsible for this.”
How could he say that? “I do,” I whispered.
“Then you’re wrong. Not a very good analysis by your super brain, if you ask me.”
I closed my eyes against his intense gaze. Why would he think that? The whole reason they were captured was because everyone was trying to keep me safe. And it had cost him dearly.
“Hey.” He clucked me under the chin, causing me to open my eyes. “You did not do this.”
That was what they all kept saying, but it didn’t lesson the guilt I felt.
“Where’s Adam?” he asked.
I shifted on the bed, struggling against the pressure in my chest that came with the mention of his name. “I don’t know.” I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Juarez.
“You two have a fight?”
I played with a loose thread on the comforter until he took my hand in his, forcing me to focus on the question.
I blew out a breath and rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “I think I challenged him,” I said softly.
Juarez inhaled sharply. “Whoa.” He absently patted my hand as if to say, everything’s going to be okay. “So, how’d that go?”
I barked out a laugh. “About as well as you might expect.”
“I think it went better than that. You’re not dead. Not even roughed up a little. Anybody else very well would be.”
“No, I’m not dead,” I agreed.
He waited for me to continue, but I chose not to elaborate any further. What would be the point? He hadn’t harmed me physically, but he had damaged something between us. I couldn’t quite decipher
it myself. I wasn’t going to hash it out with Juarez.
We continued to sit in silence with him stroking my hand before he asked knowingly, “Did he start pulling away from you?”
Maybe Juarez did have a good feel for the situation. “Pretty much,” I said, unwilling to meet his eyes.
“It’s nothing against you, MK. That’s just Adam’s way. Before any large scale operation, he withdraws from us. And, he has one heck of a mess to clean up here.”
I knew he had a big job in front of him. I did. But, they didn’t share a bond with him. “He shut me out.” Saying it out loud did not bring any relief whatsoever. It only made it seem more real. And I knew he was shutting me out for more than just work related reasons.
“Oh,” Juarez answered, his mouth lingering in the “o” position.
It was utterly inexplicable to me that I should have these feelings of rejection, but they were here nonetheless. In fact, I thought with every minute that passed they were growing stronger. It made me wonder what the heck I was doing here at all.
“Well, he’s new at this,” Juarez defended Adam. “Both the bonding and the girl. But he’s smart. He’ll figure it out.” He let go of my hand and crossed his arms in front of his chest again. “You know, I’ve known Adam for fifty years, and you’re the first woman I’ve ever known him to go gaga over. Trust me,” he said at my look of disbelief, “when it comes to you, he has been one crazy cat. You don’t know the half,” he said with a wave of his hand and a roll of his eyes.
This was pathetic. Now he was trying to comfort me, when it should be the other way around.
“It’s actually kind of nice, seeing Adam all rattled for a change,” Juarez chuckled. “Now he’ll be forced to see things from my point of view.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle despite the building hurt I carried. “You’re impossible you know that. And I can clearly see why Olivia loves you.”
At the mention of Olivia, the sadness returned to his face.
I stood up and tucked the blanket around him. “You’ll figure it out, too. Just give her some time to process her feelings before she shares them with you.”
