Hard Rocked

by Lee Mae

  “I never asked if you enjoyed the show,” Gage said softly.

  Turning to him, she replied, “You must know how well you did, Gage. There’s no doubt you’re the master of putting up a great performance. It was very… stirring.”

  What she couldn’t tell him, of course, was how he’d oozed sensuality on stage and through his music, caused a frenzy among the fans. Especially the female ones, who had shrieked with adoration and lust throughout the entire show. Kate certainly couldn’t tell how much her mouth had watered – and her heart had ached – as she’d watched her ex give a magical live show in front of hundreds of thousands.

  Gage smiled at her reply. “Thank you. Would you like a drink?”

  “I probably shouldn’t.”

  “Don’t be a party-pooper,” he said, leading her to the kitchen. Gage grabbed a frosty bottle of champagne from an ice bucket and filled a glass for her and then himself.

  Kate took it reluctantly. Taking a tentative sip and knew it was the kind of drink that could go straight to her head if she wasn’t careful. Other than that, she also had Gage to worry about. He was still the same and yet… so different.

  Here, in this fantasy world of opulence and fame he was surrounded by admirers, and fellow band mates who were also successful in their own rights. It seemed almost incredible to picture Gage in the midst of all this, but then, looking at him now, she couldn’t deny that it suited him well. He didn’t yet have the dissipated look that some rock stars had; his youth was undeniable and he had a great shape still. At age thirty-two, his body was lean and sexy with rippled hardness. There was definitely a new sleekness to him, although she almost preferred the old gorgeous, yet slightly scruffy, Gage.

  Now, the new polished version of Gage could get whatever he wanted, including millions of dollars per show, which was evident in everything about him. His expensive, yet stylishly understated clothing, his mega-star looks, and his demeanor reminded her that Forbes had listed him as making twenty five million dollars last year alone.

  “Earth to Kate.”

  She blinked and noticed that he was regarding her with a speculative look. The kind that usually put her on guard.

  “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”

  “You always had that talent,” he replied.

  She smiled.

  Standing next to him made it easy to forget the other people mingling in the rooms, all of them either laughing, chatting, or necking.

  She looked away and noticed the drummer, who Kate knew his name as Chan, an Asian with dyed blue hair, had one of the giggly groupies from down in the bar draped around him. They were giggling together like they were high on something.

  “Kate, look at me.”

  She forced herself to meet Gage’s eyes and at once, it was like being sent back in time.

  “I always wondered what you’d think of me – that was, if you ever did think of me,” he said wryly. “Now that I’ve achieved all I set out to do, and much more.”

  “I was happy for you,” Kate replied, promptly and sincerely. “There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think you deserved it. All of it. No matter what may have happened, or the things I said, I always wished you well, Gage.”

  His lips tilted in a crooked smile as he placed his glass on the nearby bar. “I believe you,” he said quietly. “In a way, I owe you gratitude. In fact, this all became possible because of you.” He waved his hands expansively.

  Kate stared at him with confusion. “What do you mean?”

  “After you left me,” he said with a shrug, his tone bland. “It was like I was lost in a black hole. And during those dark weeks came my greatest inspiration. I wrote a whole bunch of songs that would later become my best selling debut album.”

  Realization dawned as Kate recalled the very first album that had gone on to win Gage countless awards, like album of the year, song of the year, and new artist of the year. The songs had been gritty and heart-felt, filled with depth and melodic agony. At least, that was what the reviewers had said. She remembered reading an article where Gage had confessed that a personal trauma had inspired him into writing such emotional lyrics.

  Well, those ‘emotions’ had sat well with the public and Gage’s songs became the top downloaded and sold songs for two years running, breaking the major charts around the world.

  “My success story hinged on you walking out that door, Kate,” Gage said with a mild twist to his smile. “I always promised myself that if I ever saw you again, I’d thank you for being so instrumental to the success you never believed me capable of in my music career.”

  Kate wasn’t sure what to say. ‘You’re welcome’ just didn’t seem appropriate, and he’d only made her feel worse, not better, with his confession.

  She’d never believed she’d truly hurt him when she’d left. They’d been together barely a year, after all. She’d been so sure he’d forgotten all about her almost the minute she’d walked away. And then, seeing him in all those magazines with a different beauty every time, had shown her that with his fame came the choice that he could have any woman he wanted. No woman would ever think of walking away from Gage Stevens now.

  Not when he’d become the groupie king; with girls throwing their underwear and flashing their tits at him at concerts. He had a massive following in all the social media. He even had his own “fan base” known as “Gagers” who were the equivalent of the “Beliebers” and “Directioners” of the world. Anytime there was an awards show, or whenever a new single or video of his came out, his “Gagers” always came out full force to give him support and spread the word.

  This meant, of course, that Gage was hardly out of the media, whether on the web or on TV and print. Anything he did drew a news crew’s presence. Kate began to feel that everywhere she looked; there was something about Gage even up to what he did in his private life. From who he had on his arm at the last red carpet event; to his latest tattoo.

  There were even rumors of him getting his very own reality show, and Kate just knew it would be another money spinner for him too.

  He had houses in numerous choice parts of the country and the world. Had his own private jet and ultra-fitted tour bus. A single two-hour performance on any major stage earned him more money than Kate could hope to earn in five years. It was staggering to think of. Gage Stevens was a rock star icon. And he used to be hers.

  “It was you, Kate,” Gage said, studying her closely. “In fact, I’ve never told another soul about the inspiration behind my breakout album.”

  She swallowed.

  His eyes bore into hers. “How does it feel knowing you broke my heart? That you spurred the demons which both drive and haunt me even today?”

  Kate’s heart was thumping; she felt like it was literally cracking to pieces. The anger and pain in his eyes was so raw it cut through her like a blade. She believed him. Believed now that he must have truly cared and she had truly hurt him. He didn’t hide the profound torment from his expression and just holding his gaze made everything around them fade out like background pieces. No music, no voices, no presence. Just their long-buried awareness creeping up from the cracks and shrouding them in tempestuous sails.

  “Gage, I…”

  Kate didn’t get the chance to complete her sentence. One of the girls swayed up to them and then practically stumbled into Gage, who caught her deftly. The willowy, drunk brunette was dressed in a slip of a frock and knee-high black boots with four inch heels. She was holding a half-filled bottle of whiskey and grinning foolishly up at Gage.

  “Hey, sexy. Are you two going to be standing about and yakking all night?” the young woman said in a breathy, come-on voice. “I’ve been waiting forever for a piece of your time, Gage. And if your friend insists on staying, then I don’t mind sharing. She’s pretty. I like redheads.” The girl turned and winked at Kate, who exhaled with suppressed annoyance.

  “Amanda, not now. This is a reporter from Stardom magazine. We’re trying to hold an interview here
.” His voice was gruff and Kate could see his fingers biting into the girl’s slender arms as he held her back from his lips.

  “Reporter, huh? Is that what they call it now? I saw the way you two were looking at each other,” Amanda muttered while wagging a clumsy, reprimanding finger in Gage’s face. “I just had to come over here before someone ripped someone else’s clothes off.”

  “Amanda…”

  “Excuse me,” Kate mumbled, suddenly dumping her glass on the bar and spinning off to find the bathroom.

  She didn’t look left or right as she stumbled through the doors to the suite’s bathroom. It was no surprise that it was as luxuriously fitted as the rest of the suite. There was a shower enclosure that had the latest spray technology, with multiple showerheads above and at the sides of the walls. A huge whirlpool tub still couldn’t dwarf the immense spaciousness of the bathroom. Designer toiletries were arranged in stylish cabinets, and all the fittings were well crafted and eye-catching. Kate sank unto the closed toilet seat and covered her face in her hands.

  What had made her think she could do this? Treat Gage like a normal stranger when they had a past, though brief, between them? And then just minutes ago, he’d made her believe that although brief, their relationship had impacted him in ways that made their breakup a traumatic experience for him. She recalled every song in that first album and how Gage had been drawn listeners around the world with his ‘tortured artist’ persona. How he’d seemed to bare his soul, singing songs that other heartbroken souls could relate to.

  And now he was saying it had been all about her. Or at least, about her leaving him. He’d just made the guilt she’d felt before now ten times worse.

  Suddenly realizing she’d spent way too much time holed up in the bathroom, Kate rose from the seat, checked out her reflection, and pinched her pale cheeks. If she could, she’d walk out, right out of the suite and not look back. Walk away from Gage and his rock band pals. Leave him with his blonde floosy, or whoever that chick was that had been practically crawling all over him.

  Instead, she walked back into the room, only just realizing that the tone of music had changed to one of Gage’s more sonorous songs. It filled the suite with strains of string guitars and Gage’s smoky, restless voice, which echoed through the speakers.

  She stared in amazement at the now empty room. The only two people there were Kate and Gage. “What happened? Where is everyone?”

  “Gone. I made them leave,” Gage said softly, turning away from whatever he’d been fiddling with at the sound system. He viewed her with critical eyes. “Are you okay? I figured you’d want to start the interview.”

  She rubbed under her eye. “I don’t know.”

  Gage sat down on the sofa. “I understand. It’s late, and we’ve both had a long night,” he said mildly, “So I’ll be cooperative as possible. Ask me whatever you like. Go on, sit down,” he said, indicating an easy chair which sat across from the couch.

  Drawing in a deep breath, Kate finally made up her mind to see this through. A few questions were required for the two-page feature. In a half hour, tops, she could wrap this up and leave without making a fool of herself by giving in to the urge to lunge in Gage’s direction and ravish him with kisses. She could just see herself straddling his thighs and kissing him, her knees digging into the couch as she ground her drenched, aching crotch over his lap. The thought of them being alone was making her hot, although she knew it couldn’t happen.

  Gathering up every professional bone in her body, Kate finally started the interview. The questions seemed so mundane now that she had him alone and sitting there so calmly. With each question, both of them kept a professional level of correctness and formality.

  She asked him a lot of questions, especially about his glamorous lifestyle. He told her that it was exciting and fun to be traveling around the world. He was able to perform at the best parties and shows, stay in the finest hotels, and eat at the top restaurants. Hong Kong tonight, South Korea tomorrow…playing to several hundred thousand or to just hundreds people…Different settings brought a different energy.

  Gage also confessed that although it did feel awesome, it came with a price.

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  He was always busy and prided himself in working hard, he explained to her. Days and nights in the studio. Road trips, concerts, writing more songs. And now, doing an interview at almost one a.m. in the morning. He grinned suddenly at that and Kate couldn’t help smiling herself, inwardly glad they could relate without the poison of the past inching into the conversation.

  “You’ve had four studio albums. Some cross-over collaborations with artistes like Katy Perry, Kanye West, and Coldplay. How do you think your music has evolved?” Kate asked.

  A grin slanted over Gage’s curved lips. “I’ve always believed that the older I become, the tastier and more refined I get – like a bottle of wine. I’m very spontaneous and it shows in my music. I don’t let anything hold me back and that’s why my fans can feel all of me in my music.”

  At that, Kate had to bring up his fans. His twenty million Facebook friends, not to mention the three million Twitter followers and then there were his videos on YouTube, all getting countless views and subscribers.

  “I believe the social media is a fabulous tool. I get to interact with my fans differently from when I’m on stage and they’re in the crowd,” Gage said thoughtfully.

  “So…you have the lifestyle people only dream of. You travel in your private jet, you hang out with the rich and famous, and get to live like a king, adored by your fans. How does that make you feel?” asked Kate.

  “I’m happy to be making so much money doing what I love – and yet I know I’ll still be doing it even if I was making less than one percent of what I make now,” he said, and Kate bit on her lip as she realized it was true; even when Gage and his band had zero funds and sometimes had to play for free at shows, Gage had always been glad to just play, to share his music.

  “Besides,” he went on with a shrug, “I have the best management who find great opportunities for me business-wise. So I’m all about the music, but I still think of other ways to make my money. I’m a part of numerous endorsements, but only those I feel suit my personality. I’d never endorse what I didn’t believe in, no matter the rewards.”

  Kate nodded understandingly. “So, just what do you spend your money on anyway?” she half-teased. “Cars, yachts? An island or two?”

  He grinned at that. “Yeah, I heard about that rumor where a tabloid claimed I’d bought up some tiny island off Fiji. Not true. I really don’t have that much time to spend money since I’m always busy working. Sure, I could rent an expensive yacht because it’s easier. And I do enjoy buying up houses – don’t even know how many of those I have. I should count them though,” he mused carelessly, and Kate shook her head with humor.

  “Yes, you should,” she said wryly. “With the money and fame...did drugs ever become part of your life?”

  She could tell the question had surprised him. Kate had never known him to even smoke but who knew what else had changed about Gage? He’d never seemed the womanizer type but now he was always in the news, along with some latest conquest crying her eyes out for not being able to hold on to the rock superstar.

  “Drugs have never been my thing,” Gage said seriously, folding his arms as he sat back in the couch. “And I think many new age rock stars focus on their career and stay clean. I certainly can’t afford to do drugs on stage. I tell myself I have one chance and one chance only – can’t detriment that with drugs. I find other ways to enjoy life and garner that high that drugs provide for other people.”

  “And what other ways are those?” Kate couldn’t help asking.

  “Well, for one thing, there’s sex,” he said, tongue in cheek.

  Kate’s face flushed.

  He went on. “A lengthy roll in the hay helps ramp up the adrenal edge for me. That’s my mojo.”

  Kate squirmed in
her seat. That little tidbit certainly wasn’t going into the final feature, she decided, even as she asked, “You’ve dated some beautiful women; do you think you’d settle down any time soon?”

  He shoved his hair back. “Sure, I’ve dated, but I don’t have much of a social life – or private life for that matter. It’s hard to have one when I’m focused so much on my career. A lot of my friends are married and have kids, and it’s got me hoping that in the future, I can have a private life. Like everyone out there, I’d love to fall in love, get married and have beautiful children,” he said deeply.

  Kate nodded, but inwardly didn’t like to think how much it wrenched her heart to imagine Gage falling in love or marrying anyone else. Not to mention having undoubtedly gorgeous kids with the lucky woman. Ground down by an acute sense of loss, Kate decided to round up the interview by asking what advice he had for upcoming rock artists like him.

  “Fight for every chance you get,” Gage said simply. “It’s all about a lot of hard work, a bit of talent, the right music, and a great mindset. I believe so much in fighting for your dreams, and that’s why I try to support any new acts I can by letting them open up for me at gigs. I’ve also got various charities focused on young adults and kids. So, though I might be living a life of glamour, whether playing with Kanye West at a private party or meeting supermodel Kate Upton at a beach show, I’m more than my lifestyle.”

  “I think your fans know that,” Kate said sincerely, before finally switching off the recorder.

  He nodded, acknowledging her words with a small smile as he rose to go over to the bar. He mixed some drinks and brought a glass over to her but she shook her head.

  “Any more alcohol and I’ll be falling asleep where I am. And I need to get going – it’s almost two am.”