“No,” he said, reaching for the door. “It is you who has made a fool out of me. I am not your trifle, Rowena. You cannot play with me then discard me at your whim. I am done.” He exited the room, and before the door slammed closed, she heard him say, “Find someone else to toy with.”
Rowena sat dumbfounded for a moment. She didn’t understand what was going on. She’d never seen any letter from Simon.
Regaining her senses, she scrambled to the door and went out in the hall to find him, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t in the adjacent room either. She called his name, but there was no answer.
Realizing that she was almost naked, she called for Molly, who came to help her properly dress. Rowena rushed her through it, barely letting the girl put up her hair into a bonnet and almost forgetting her gloves.
She went to find Mrs. Pennyworth. The housekeeper was in the kitchen with the cook, arguing over the excessive price of the wheat that he’d purchased at the market.
“Forgive the intrusion, Mrs. Pennyworth, but I should like to find either Lord Rutherford or Lady Chilton.”
“My lady, I cannot say as to Lord Rutherford, as I saw him rush out a bit ago with no word as to where he went off to. But her ladyship and Miss Sharpe went out to the Old Church a ways down the road, down by the Willow’s End pond.”
“Then I shall go and join her.” She smiled at the two, who were still glowering at one another, and said, “Good day to you both.”
A footman in the front hall pointed her toward the church and offered to escort her. Rowena waived him off and set down the lane on her own. The footman ran after her with a cloak. She’d forgotten about the frosty cold weather. Though the sun was shining, the chill prickled her skin and bit at her nose.
She took the cloak from him, but did not stop walking. She’d managed to remain calm until now. Her thoughts started racing.
Had Simon proposed? How could he without her knowledge? No such letter had ever been delivered to her. She could not even fathom why he would lie about such a thing other than perhaps to confuse her into acquiescence. Simon would never be that dishonorable, however.
Rowena ran the rest of the way, her boots digging into the mud. It was imperative that she find Alice. She had to know the truth of the matter.
She kept running until she spied the group at an old stone church with a crumbling roof. The servants had prepared an afternoon snack and the two women were lounging together, laughing and talking.
Rowena slowed her pace. Her bonnet was askew, causing tendrils of hair to whip about her face. She must look quite a fright. She panted and caught her breath.
“Alice,” she called, slightly embarrassed now at her frantic run and disheveled appearance.
Alice’s eyes widened as she motioned her over. Delphine stared in horror.
“Are you well, Rowena?” Her sister stood up to greet her. “Surely you did not run all the way here on your own?”
“Please, sit down,” Alice said.
“I shall, but first, I must ask you something. Something of grave importance. Perhaps I should have asked you long ago, but my pride—”
“Whatever has alarmed you so?” Alice asked. “Please sit down.” She gestured to an empty spot on the blanket.
Rowena obeyed, not wishing to distress everyone further. She spoke softly to Alice. “I must know if Simon offered a proposal.” Her heart beat faster. “Did he write to my family to offer for me all of those years ago?”
Alice blinked and took her hand. “Surely, you knew.”
Rowena shook her head, causing her bonnet to loosen and fall back. “No, I honestly had no such notion.”
The other woman squeezed her hand. “Simon sent letter after letter after letter, or so he told me. But he received not one from you.”
“But I never received anything from him!”
Rowena was shocked. No one had ever said a word to her. She’d never asked Alice about it, which she now realized was stupid on her part. They hadn’t become close until a few years ago when Paul had taken ill. By that time, she’d thought it best to avoid discussing the horrid affair with Simon and only referred to him if someone else brought him up in conversation.
“I know for a fact that he did write at least twice to make an offer for you. The first letter went unanswered. The second, well,” she said softly, “the second letter prompted a reply from your brother, Victor. He refused the proposal, saying you did not wish to hear from Simon again.”
A sharp pain sliced through Rowena’s chest. She choked. How could her brother have done so cruel a thing? Victor had known how she felt about Simon. He knew that—that she would never choose a man he wanted for her.
Rowena wanted to scream. It all made sense now. Victor must have destroyed the letters before she’d ever come upon them. If she did not know about them, there was no chance of her going against Victor’s wishes and sneaking out a letter of response.
She turned to Delphine. “Do you know anything of this? Did Victor ever destroy any letters that you remember? Had you ever seen any messages from Simon?”
Delphine lowered her head. “I am not sure.”
That was suspicious. Delphine rarely demurred to anyone. “What do you mean you are not sure?”
“I mean that…I—”
“Delphine!”
“Please excuse us, Lady Chilton,” Delphine said, her voice soft, but almost cracking. She stood and ran into the church. Rowena followed her.
Delphine’s lips trembled and she refused to look Rowena in the eye. She kept her eyes to the ground and traced her boot in a little circle on the ground.
“You must believe me that I was planning to tell you today. After breakfast this morning, the way you two stared at one another. And then, when you had gone to rest and Simon had looked so many times at the door as if he were longing for your return, I—”
Rowena took her sister by the shoulders and shook her. “What? Tell me what you know, Delphine!”
“I am sorry. I did see two of the letters come. There were more, no doubt, but I remember walking into the study once when Paul and Victor were talking—”
No. That could not be correct. “Paul?”
Tears ran down Delphine’s face. She nodded. “Yes, it was Paul. He and Victor were talking about you and the butler came in saying that there was a letter he’d been waiting for. I remember that I was also expecting a letter and had followed Elfry into the room because I wanted to see if my letter had arrived. Anyway, the letter was addressed to you, not to Victor, and it was soon clear that the letter had come from Simon.”
“God.” Rowena had been betrayed. Not just by her brother, but by the man who had claimed over and over that he’d loved her and wanted her happiness above all. The man who had pretended to console her when months and months went by with no word from Simon, other than a letter to Paul which claimed he’d no interest in Rowena anymore. A letter that had instructed him to ‘break it to her gently.’
She was a fool. Everything she’d been told was a lie. The letter was obviously forged by Paul or her brother.
“When I asked Victor about it, he slapped me, and told me if I ever spoke a word to you of this, he would postpone my season and use my dowry to send me off to Uncle Norwell’s estate in Ontario. When I saw another letter a month or two later, he reminded me that he could just as well send me to Canada and be rid of my expenses than to marry me off. I was terrified, so I did not confess what I had seen.”
Victor Sharpe was a snake. He’d always been a bit vain and heavy handed with them since their parents died, but this was reprehensible.
When she returned to London, she would see to it that he regretted his selfishness. She would pull her money out of his business interests and insist he pay back the loan he’d taken from Paul. Though her husband had obviously been dishonest, he was no idiot. She knew he kept detailed records of his transactions with Victor, just in case.
Her brother was a scoundrel. His political ambitions and self
ish machinations had nearly ruined her life. There’d been a time when she had little will to live. Delphine and Paul had kept her going and prevented her from doing harm to herself.
“I’m sorry, Roe, I was fifteen and I thought I would never see home again if he shipped me off to Canada. I hated to see you so despondent, but I was deathly afraid of Victor.”
“I cannot believe how callous and cruel he was. That he thought he could manipulate the both of us so easily.”
“To be honest, I am still a bit afraid of him. Victor is so set on his ambitions. He and Paul were determined to see you become the Countess of Northam. Victor had to have connections in Parliament and he knew that Paul could get those for him. Paul, I am sad to say, deceived you worst of all.”
Rowena collapsed back against the wall of the church. Yes, her husband, the sweet and gentle man that had taken his last breath resting in her arms, had built their marriage on lies. His covetousness had nearly destroyed both her and his friendship with Simon. For what? Only to die miserably three years later.
“I have been under such gross misassumptions,” Rowena said. She wiped her forehead. “All of these years, I blamed Simon. I almost hated him. And when he came to me today wanting to be with me, I—I was quite rude to him. I accused him of being a rake intent on ravishing me and discarding me, among other things.”
“Obviously you still care for him or you would not be so upset.” Delphine patted her shoulder.
“Yes,” Rowena said softly. “I do.”
“If I had known you still cared so deeply, I probably would have told you sooner. You seemed happy with Paul after the marriage and when he became ill you were so despondent, I thought that you had lost all affection for Lord Rutherford. And because I was so afraid of Victor, I let the secret die. I was wrong.”
Rowena hugged her sister. “Do not fear him. I have no intention of ever letting Victor have control of either of us again. When we return home, I want you to pack your belongings and come take residence with me. Victor will be angry, but I have him by the pocketbook, so he will have to acquiesce.”
“Thank you,” Delphine said, hugging her fiercely. Rowena sighed. “Now, I have to determine how to make amends with Simon.”
Would she be able to convince him to forgive her? He thought her a coquette and worse. That she had played him against his friend, that she had seduced him mercilessly then denied him the intimacies she’d promised.
“Are you all well?” Alice said, coming into the church. “Rowena, you look—”
“Sick to my stomach,” Rowena finished for her. “It was all a plot between Paul and Victor to keep me from wedding Simon. They deceived me, showing me a letter that was purportedly from Simon which said he had no intention of marrying me and for Paul to break the news to me.”
“I never would have thought Paul capable of such treachery,” Alice said. “I knew he fancied you, but I had no idea he had plotted to destroy your relationship with my brother.”
“Yes.” It hurt that Paul had intentionally wounded her all while pretending that he was only looking after her safety and happiness.
“Alice, I have ruined things with Simon.”
“How so?”
Rowena looked into her angelic face and wondered how much she could share without humiliating herself in the process.
Perhaps she deserved such a punishment.
“I—” She lowered her voice in case the servants could overhear, “teased him.” She blushed. “I teased him…improperly…then refused to…”
Alice closed her lips as if she was trying to hide her smile. “Ah. I understand.”
Rowena’s ears burned for the second time today. “I did not realize he held any affection for me. I assumed he had come to take advantage. I thought that he would discard me without a care afterward.”
Alice cleared her throat. “I see.”
“He was understandably angry with me and I did not make it easy on him.”
“Simon came to England for the express purpose of seeing you, Rowena,” Alice said, taking hold of her hand. “He will calm down in a few hours.”
She sucked in a breath. “He returned for me?”
A bittersweet smile crossed Alice’s face. Her high cheeks were rosy from the afternoon outdoors. “Yes, it was more than the title that brought him back home. He has wanted to see you for some time, but was not certain you were recovered from Paul’s death. When he heard you would be visiting me, he made haste to come home, hoping that you would finally be amenable to reconciling with him.”
It was out of respect for Paul’s death and her feelings that he had waited. Rowena could no longer feel the same affection for her husband. How could a man be so devious as to steal his best friend’s love? If only Simon had proposed before his fateful sojourn to the War in Spain. Then, perhaps they would have been spared all of this unpleasantness.
“After what happened, I never suspected that Simon’s feelings were as deep as my own. I am honestly still quite surprised that he has maintained his affections for so long.”
Alice laid a hand on her shoulder. “You are the only woman he has ever spoken of in eight years.”
“I must go and find him. We have been laboring under so many false assumptions for six years. I have to tell him that I still care for him.”
****
Again, Simon was nowhere to be found. She went to his room, to Lord Chilton’s study, and to the stables. He was not there. After an hour of searching, she gave up, not wanting to give the servants something else to gossip about. She determined he would have to present himself at the evening meal, so she went back to her room and rested until the appointed time.
Molly woke Rowena. After washing up, she dressed for dinner, choosing a wine red evening dress with lace trimming the edge of the bodice. Long black gloves contrasted against her pale olive skin. In her hair, she wore a gilt tiara comb with small inlaid garnets that Simon had once given her. She’d kept it over the years, despite the painful association, but had never told anyone but Delphine where she’d gotten it. In her ears, she wore matching garnet earrings.
She took hold of her reticule and walked downstairs. Everyone was about to enter the dining room. Lord Chilton, who she had not seen since her arrival, was present. He would have come to escort her into the room, but she could see Alice steering him away, insisting that he escort his wife instead. Which meant that Simon would have to escort her in to dinner.
Her breath caught as she watched Simon come towards her. Though it had only been a few hours, he seemed taller, larger. His tailored suit did nothing to hide the muscular man beneath. There was something different about him now. He had the same chiseled jaw, though the stubble from this morning was gone. His blue eyes glittered in the candlelight and the effect made him seem darker, dangerous.
He frowned upon seeing her. At first he stood still as if he were about to refuse to escort her inside.
“Lord Rutherford, would you please escort Lady Northam inside?” Lord Chilton asked.
Simon shot her a dark look, but took his place beside her. As he took hold of her arm, her heart fluttered. Just that simple contact spread heat between them. She looked up and noticed he’d changed his hair. It was neatly trimmed, a bit shorter than the common fashion. In any other circumstance, she would have been tempted to shirk propriety and touch the sandy blond locks.
“My lord, I must speak with you about this afternoon,” she said in a low voice.
He spoke, but did not look at her. “There is nothing to speak of, madam.” An undercut. She ignored the impoliteness.
“There is everything to speak of,” she countered.
“I have no wish to say anything more to you.”
“I want to apologize.” His gaze pierced hers for a moment. She continued, “I never received any of your letters.”
“You refused my proposal.”
Their voices were low. “Victor refused it. I had no idea that you had made an offer for me.”
&n
bsp; “But Paul said that you had not responded because you were unsure of how to politely refuse.”
She held his arm firmly, wanting to brace him from the impact of what she was about to say. “Paul deceived you. And me as well.”
“Why?” His tone was almost accusatory as he turned to look at her.
She stopped, causing Delphine to stumble into them. Simon steadied her, then looked to Rowena to explain.
“I should think the answer to that would be quite obvious. His only thought was to marry me.”
“A lie,” Simon responded. “How can I be sure that you did not toy with us both and then choose the man with better connections?”
Rowena should have expected the accusation, but it still stung. “Paul was the one who played us. He professed to love us both, but he had no thought save himself. If it were not for him, even now you and I might be wed.”
Everyone stared at them. Lord Chilton intervened. “Perhaps we should all go into the dining room and give Lord Rutherford and Lady Northam some privacy?” He took Alice and Delphine into the dining room.
Simon took Rowena’s arm and guided her somewhat forcibly from the room. Rowena turned to see Alice watching from the dining area.
Her attention returned to Simon when he steered her into the Lord’s study. The lighting was dim from a single tapered candle. He lit another and gestured for her to sit down.
“You say ‘even now we might be wed’, but it was you who chose Paul over me.”
“Can you not see it from my perspective? You were gone for months on end. I’d no word from you. Paul led me to believe you had no intention of settling into marriage. He said you had other women during your absence.”
“Bollocks.”
Rowena flinched at his curse. “I only knew that you were gone. There was no letter from you and for all of your sweet words, I had to assume I was an amusement and no more.”
“I told you that I would return for you, Rowena. How could you think I meant otherwise?”
“At first, I believed you. As the months went by, I wondered more and more why you did not officially propose prior to your departure.”
Simon slapped his hand on the desk. “I had little to offer you. No hope to inherit and few resources. I could only go and make my name and come back a better man.”
Lady Northam's Wicked Surrender Page 4
