by Sadie Mills
She wrenched off her helmet, running her fingers through her blonde curls. Josh said something else, but she couldn't hear. Lucy plucked the plugs from her ears.
Josh knelt there, blinking up at her. In a heartbeat, he sprang up, wrenching the earplugs from her fingers, staring at them in his palm, open-mouthed.
'What were you thinking?' he murmured at Lucy. Lucy blinked back at him. In a split-second, he turned. Suddenly he was a pool of anger, fist raised. She watched him throw the neon pink plugs out at the grass, glowering back. The vein on his neck was up. Lucy swallowed. She'd never seen him like this.
'Wh's goin on here?' Froggy demanded. Lucy found him at her side, the two of them frowning up at Josh.
'EARPLUGS? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?' Joshua screamed in her face.
It came in loud and clear through the hiss. Lucy shrank back, but he kept coming.
'WELL?'
She could feel her throat closing up. Cheeks burning; eyes starting to sting. She turned to Froggy for reassurance, but this time around, he was scowling at her.
'I... I don't like the noise,' she finally squeaked, eyes flickering across the grass.
'The noise?' Joshua seethed.
He was hopping mad.
She watched him stoop down and grab the walkie talkies, waving them angrily.
'That noise was supposed to be guiding you in!'
'I... I couldn't hear you,' she tried to explain. 'I had a thing with my ears. I couldn't equalise.'
Joshua chewed his lips angrily, eyes closing. She watched him trying to gather himself.
'You... had a thing with your ears because you were wearing them!' he said through gritted teeth, jabbing a walkie talkie back at the grass. He was striving for a modicum of decorum, but dismally failing. 'You could have given yourself a perforated eardrum. Or worse.'
'I'm sorry!' Lucy croaked. The tears she'd been desperately trying to hold back were seconds away; already pooling in her eyes. Joshua stared back unblinkingly. Lucy felt Froggy's arm across her back.
'Leave it out, Snowy,' he growled.
'Leave it out?' Joshua gaped. 'Did you see that turn?'
'Aye, I did there laddy.'
'Good!' boomed Josh, eyes bulging, shaking with anger. 'If you've got anything about you, you'll fucking fail her.'
Lucy watched in astonishment as he ran a hand through his sun-bleached curls, turning his back, stalking away.
'That was a low fucking turn,' Froggy grumbled under his breath. 'If I were him, I'd be furious too.'
'Are you going to fail me?' she said quietly, still watching Josh march away across the grass.
Froggy gave her a look.
'Well y'did demonstrate awareness of other canopies,' he nodded. 'And we are still on the airfield... just about.'
His brow lowered.
'But y'came into the landing pattern far too late. Another two seconds? Y'ed be looking at a fail. Aye.'
The look darkened, voice dropping.
'Another seven, eight? They'd be picking bits ay'ye up off the fucking ground.'
Lucy stared at the grass. Her cheeks visibly blanched.
'I'm nay gonna fail ya,' he told her, ruffling her hair with his knuckles.
Lucy sagged with relief.
'Just donnay do that to me again. Ever. Y'hear, me Lucy? Nay fucking earplugs next time.'
'Snowy. I wanny word with ye.'
Froggy's voice boomed as he marched across the hangar.
A whole fleet of riggers stopped packing their parachutes; looking up. You could have heard a pin drop.
Joshua turned and squinted down at the little Scotsman, almost flinching. Froggy did hopping mad like nobody else.
'How fucking dare ye?' he snarled, brow clenched, head cocking from side to side with each syllable. Froggy's lower teeth were bared in anger, his fists clenched in rage.
'She's my fucking student!' he barked up at Josh. 'How dare ye interfere? Ye're knocking the stuffing out of the wee girl!'
Joshua's gaze fell to the floor.
He already knew that. He wasn't proud of himself. He could see her teary-eyed face all the long walk back.
Froggy blinked up at him, dark eyes softening. He reached up and squeezed Josh's shoulder.
'I know exactly wha's going on in y'heed,' Froggy told him, his voice laced with concern. 'But y've gotta stop this,' Froggy warned, still in a more conciliatory tone.
Josh's eyes flickered up from the ground.
'I know,' he said guiltily.
'D'ye know what she scored on her written?' Froggy smirked up at him. '97 fucking percent!'
Joshua's eyes widened. Froggy grinned up proudly.
'Go an make y'peace with her,' Froggy warned. 'We're up on the next lift. I think it'd be better for both'ay ye not to leave it like this.'
As Lucy was tightening her harness, she looked up and froze. The whole room fell into silence. It all seemed to go in slow motion.
The crowd parted, like the Red Sea, Joshua sweeping straight through the middle. In a breath, she was up in his arms.
'No more earplugs,' he grumbled. She could feel the smile against her cheek. Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder, clenching her eyes shut, breathing him in.
'No more earplugs,' she promised, and it was almost a sob. They'd never had so much as a crossed word before. Josh set her down, her feet finally touching the ground. A smile, a quick peck on the lips, and just as suddenly, he disappeared.
Lucy didn't see or hear from Joshua throughout the day. It was just her, Froggy, Martin and the other AFF students. She suspected there might have been a bit of animosity from her peers after that little stunt, especially the two other girls. Oh they were polite enough, but Lucy detected an atmosphere; a few sideways glances in her direction, smiles that dropped a little too quickly. But the weather was good; they were flying through the jumps. Level 1, Level 2, Level 3 in quick succession. Every time she got to the door, it felt a little bit easier. The wind never died down; there was still that cloying stench of diesel. She was still terrified - she imagined that would never go away. But for every hour she spent in the classroom, dangling from that awful black harness, suspended from the ceiling like a giant baby bouncer; every time she went through the drills; every video she watched and every question and answer she completed, she felt a little surer of her herself. She felt a little more self-composed.
By the time they'd done their fourth jump, they were losing the light. Lucy couldn't have managed a fifth. Her bones ached; she was spent. Lucy was hungry - ravenous, in fact. It was time to turn in for the night.
She tried to run her fingers through her short ringlets, but they were full of knots. Her skin felt greasy and grimy. Lucy looked up from the slatted bench. The kit room was emptying out. She lowered her nose to her armpit.
'They y'are!'
Lucy's head shot up.
'I've been looking for ye all over.'
She put her hand on the back of her neck, elbow clamped to her ribs, rolling her head, smiling meekly. Froggy grinned back.
'His lordship is waiting for ye at the pub. I'll give y'a lift if y'like.'
Lucy didn't have any brothers or sisters. If she did, she imagined this is what it would feel like. She and Froggy had been all over each other that day - personal space is zero when you're crammed in on a Cessna. There were no dodgy looks; no hidden agenda. They sat in the front of his beat up blue Golf, driving down the twilit lanes, watching the occasional finch dip and dive in front of the car. There was a companionable silence, as if the two of them had know each forever. It was odd to imagine that they'd just met that morning.
'I think it's only fair to warn y'Lucy,' Froggy confided. 'Yer man's still pissed off about what happened earlier on.'
Lucy's heart sank. She rolled her eyes. The lids drew shut.
'Oh for God's sake,' she sighed.
'Y'canny blame him,' Froggy tried to reason.
'I said I was sorry,' Lucy told him. 'I jus
t had them left over from the wind tunnel training... I didn't know!'
'Y'would'ay done,' Froggy chastised her. 'If y'ed just asked one'ay us.'
He turned into the pub carpark, rolling into a space. The handbrake clicked. Froggy turned off the ignition.
'I can't believe his still mad.'
And yet, she sort of could. Her phone had been silent all day. That was a first since the Saturday they met. It was all adding up now. That hug in the hangar, that was just to settle her before her next jump. He didn't look her once in the eye. She ran her hands down her tired face. More passive aggressive bullshit. She'd had enough from Phil to last her a lifetime.
'Ay,' Froggy warned her, unclipping his safety belt, the fastening whirring up to his shoulder. 'Cut the guy some slack, Lucy. I don't think y'know the full story.'
Lucy undid her own safety belt, sliding it up, staring at Froggy. His dark eyes flickered back guiltily.
'Alright, alright,' he sighed, scraping his messy dreadlocks back from his face, thumbing his beard. 'I'm not sure I'm the one who should be telling ye this, but I take it y'don't already know...'
The frown made it abundantly clear that she didn't.
'Snowy's last girlfriend...' Froggy said quietly, staring down at the pedals.
Her heart sank. Not ex girlfriends - they'd never started up on all that.
'She was killed in an accident.'
Lucy's eyes widened. She blinked back at him.
'Nothing to do with skydiving, mind'ye,' Froggy added quickly. 'It was a pile-up on the M5.'
She closed her eyes, letting it wash over her.
And there it was: the annoying little niggle she'd been trying to ignore; more and more recently. Josh had been acting, well... weird. Lucy felt Froggy squeezing her shoulder.
'If he seems a bit over-protective, well, ye canny blame him, but y'have to understand... He's only hard on ye because he cares.'
Lucy raised her chin, glazed eyes catching Froggy's dark stare. She could feel it flickering across her face; searching her soul.
She stared down at her fingers, entwined in her lap.
Does he?
Lucy wasn't so sure.
Josh sat with Martin in one of the snugs, fiddling with a beer mat. Martin was bleating about the latest Newcastle United transfer. Joshua smiled and nodded patiently, sipping his cola.
Finally, the door swung open. Lucy and Froggy walked in.
Joshua stood up, smiling at her. Lucy kept her eyes on the gaudy orange-patterned carpet. Josh's smile melted. She didn't look up once.
He frowned, watching her disappear into the ladies'.
What's up with her?
She didn't seem like someone who'd just sailed through Level 4 of the AFF course. Normally, they'd be bouncing off the walls.
Froggy strolled towards them, looking up meekly.
'Froggy? ...What's going on?'
The stalls in the ladies were thankfully empty. Lucy rested on her elbows over the washbasin, running the cold tap. She cupped her hands beneath it, allowing the icy water to pool in her palms, splashing it over her face.
She stared at herself in the mirror; her eyes looked tired and bloodshot. Her cheeks were pink. Lucy grabbed a handful of paper towels, blotting the rivulets from her face and neck. She threw them in the rusty bin, holding onto the counter; taking a steadying breath. She had to get it together. She couldn't let him see her like this.
'Three Buds please, and a shandy.'
She could see them in her periphery. The bar was virtually empty; too quiet. Lucy paused by the juke box.
She could feel Joshua's eyes searing into her back. She wanted to lift the mood; Lucy really didn't like heavy. She clunked their drinks down on the top, prising a pound coin from her jean pocket, slipping it through the slot with a metallic thud.
She pored over the song list, running her finger down the glass.
Madonna: Sorry.
It was a good tune. She thought through the lyrics. No. Despite the title, it seemed a little confrontational. Confrontation was the last thing on her mind.
The Righteous Brothers: You've Lost That Loving Feeling.
Lucy snorted. A grin burst across her face. She remembered the day she did that first tandem jump with Josh, hearing all the instructors singing it in the hangar. Thinking back, she was sure she heard his voice. Her finger hovered over the button for a moment, then retreated. She remembered that scene from Topgun.
Too much... Way too much.
Froggy and Martin would take the piss out of him forever.
Lucy wandered across to the booth, fingers of one hand snaring the three Bud bottlenecks, carefully carrying the shandy in the other, shuffling along so it wouldn't spill. She clunked the bottles down on the wooden table, releasing them diligently so they wouldn't topple over, glancing up at Josh just as the guitar opened up the first song.
Lucy smiled nervously.
'Beer fine,' she nodded, sliding a bottle each across the table to Joshua, Martin and Froggy. Ronan Keating pitched in with a perfectly-timed "Sorry". Josh stared at her. Her heart almost melted as he burst into a grin.
'Come here,' he nodded, stretching his arm invitingly across the tatty red velour seat. Lucy slid her half of shandy across the table towards him, hitching her leg over Froggy's.
'Get y'arse out my face, woman!' he teased. 'Dun'ye know I'm a married man?' He grabbed her by the thighs, lifting her over. Lucy giggled, scooching around the snug. Josh pulled her back into his arms.
He nuzzled her hair, kissing her temple. He didn't seem mad; his arms enveloping her. Froggy grinned at Lucy and winked. She blushed and reached for her shandy. She frowned, reaching further and further forward, watching Josh slide it just beyond her fingertips. He pushed his bottle of Bud into her hand.
Lucy cocked her head, peering up at him.
'I'm driving,' Josh explained.
'So am I,' Lucy frowned back.
Josh shook his head, smirking.
'Not tonight.'
'A toast,' declared Martin in his thick Jordie accent. 'Here's to Lucy, and her 97%.'
'To Lucy!'
The bottles and glass chinked against hers quickly.
Lucy took a swig and smiled down at the table, turning crimson.
'I'm so proud of you,' Joshua whispered to her.
She shuddered, glancing up briefly. He smiled back at her, slipping a stray curl behind her ear.
'It's two hours, there and back,' she mumbled, stealing one more swig.
'Not if you stay at mine.'
And there it was, hanging in the air between them. Lucy blinked back at Josh. His eyes rolled up to the speaker across the room. Baby Can I Hold You Tonight blared out. Martin and Froggy smirked, exchanging a knowing glance and looking away, guzzling from their bottles; pretending not to hear.
Lucy stared at Joshua again.
"I love you" Ronan Keating crooned. She balked, snatching her bottle, eyes scanning the room. She hadn't thought that far ahead into the lyrics. It was meant to be an apology, not a proposition. She took a long glug; wiped her mouth on her back of her hand. Oh sweet baby Jesus... Lucy closed her eyes. Wait till the next one comes on...
Joshua was grinning at her. Her eyes widened as she felt his hand on her bottom. Her mouth opened, gasping for words - she didn't mean that.
You dare! snarled her rampant libido.
She shut her mouth momentarily, then took another long slug.
'All right. Yes, fine,' she squeaked, nodding at the table.
Josh smiled back at her, squeezing hard. Lucy closed her eyes, biting her lip.
'Good! What would you like to eat?'
'I... uhm...' Lucy stifled a burp, blinking down at the menu with unseeing eyes, smiling politely. 'I really don't mind.'
The music was fading.
Oh crap...
'The chilli's good,' Josh told her.
She nodded quickly with a sideways glance.
Lucy hated chilli.
'OK! T
hat'd be great!'
Josh squeezed her shoulder. Martin stepped aside and let Josh out. Queen's Don't Stop Me Now kicked in. Josh paused, turning back. Froggy and Martin nodded along to the beat. Lucy looked up. Josh flashed her a heart-stopping grin.
By the time the third track came on, Martin and Froggy had drained their bottles and left. Awolnation's Sail pulsed through the bar. Lucy and Josh sat in silence, remembering the day they first met, studying each other in sideways glances; eyes meeting briefly, quickly looking away. She felt his fingers thrumming her thigh. She felt his taught muscles, sliding her hand up his jeans, across his back, stroking him through his t-shirt. She leaned into him, breathing in his woody scent. Josh wrapped his arm around her. Neither spoke; neither needed to say anything. By the time the food came, the atmosphere was electric.
It was the best chilli Lucy had ever tasted. She would have finished his too, given half a chance. She drained her second beer, sliding the bottle across the table, pushing her empty plate away. Joshua held her. She snuggled into him, feeling warm and woozy and tired. He glanced down, smoothing her hair back from her face.
'You ready?'
Her blue eyes rolled up to his. She bit her lip.
'Uh-huh.'
'Are you warm enough?' Josh asked her as they crunched across the gravel car park.
'Yes, fine,' Lucy nodded, arms folded across herself. Josh slung his arm around her shoulders. She looked up at the stars and shuddered. There was a nip to the air, but it wasn't the cold that was getting to Lucy. She was starting to feel very nervous.
His full beam guided them slowly down the narrow country roads. She had no idea where they were going. She'd met Josh a month ago, but she'd never been to his home. It could have been a house, a flat or a hedgerow. All she knew was that he lived alone.
He nodded along absent-mindedly to the beat of the stereo as he drove, tapping his fingers on the wheel. The occasional glance in her direction sent her stare back out of the window. It was so dark. The stars were out in their billions, far from the light-polluted bay.
