by Sadie Mills
Lucy turned to him. He looked up sheepishly.
'I never even told her I loved her.'
His face was etched with guilt, eyes shining back, brow contorted in a deep furrow. He sighed and put his head down.
She wrapped her arm across his back, gently stroking his shoulder.
'Did you?'
'Did I what?'
'Love her?' Lucy asked gently.
He paused. She saw him nod.
Lucy went on stroking his back.
'Phil cheated on me,' she sighed. 'Twice, that I'm aware of... Unfortunately so is most of town.'
Joshua's head rose slowly.
'It wasn't enough to make me a laughing stock once,' she told him. 'He had to do it again. That's the definition of a shitty boyfriend.
'You know, now I look back... I really don't remember loving him at all.'
She smiled bitterly, quirking an eyebrow.
'I certainly didn't feel loved. The funny thing is, we used to say it all the time.'
She reached out, running her fingertips down his rough cheek.
'Unless you've undergone a complete personality transplant, I'd say you're selling yourself short.'
His eyes glinted back at her.
'If you loved her,' Lucy told him gently, 'she would have known, whether you said it or not.'
He stared for a moment. Lucy's hand slinked back. Josh sighed, running his fingers down his face.
'Is that why you were crying?' he asked her, eventually.
Lucy's gaze dropped to the floor. He reached out, grabbing her hand. Lucy looked up.
'Are you scared I'm going to cheat on you too?'
'...No. It wasn't that,' she squeaked.
'What's the matter then?'
If she didn't get it from his voice, his face made it clear. Joshua's eyes were pleading with her.
Lucy closed hers, taking a deep breath.
'You didn't want to sleep with me,' came her choked response.
She could feel the sting in her eyes starting up again. She felt his fingers on her chin, tilting her face upwards. She finally looked up at him. She found him scowling back, mouth open.
'Whatever gave you that idea?'
She shrugged, soon frowning too.
'You wanted to sleep downstairs.'
His eyebrows reached for the ceiling.
'No I didn't! I thought you wanted me to! ...One minute you were kissing me, the next you jumped up like you'd just found out I'd got the plague!'
Lucy thought for a moment.
Oh...
'I... uhm... I needed a shower.'
Josh's eyes flicked from left to right, buried in a frown, a smile soon twisting his lips. In a blink, he was up on his feet. In the next, she was up in his arms.
'I've been staring at the ceiling for the past hour!' he grumbled loudly, grinning down at her; eyes full of mischief. 'I've been up and down these stairs three fucking times!'
Her arms tightened around his neck. Lucy stared up at him. For the first time in ages, she laughed.
'You didn't think I wanted to sleep with you?' he said, shaking his head, carrying her across the room; cocking an eyebrow. 'I've been taking cold showers for the past month!' he growled. 'Lucy, you're killing me here!'
Lucy squealed as she bounced down on the bed.
'No prizes for guessing how I knew you were still up,' he said grinning, pressing his palms into the mattress, shoulder muscles flexing as he pushed.
The bed responded loudly.
Lucy tugged the hem of the t-shirt down, looking up at him, heart surging. He clambered across the mattress towards her on his hands and knees. She giggled nervously.
'I borrowed your toothbrush,' she admitted quickly.
He paused, cocking an eyebrow, pulling a face; shaking his head.
'I don't mind.'
And he was coming again, like a predator stalking his prey.
She smiled up at him shyly, sinking back into the cold, goose down duvet as he pressed his hands down either side of her shoulders, knees either side of her thighs.
'And your razor...' she remembered, blinking up at him.
Josh lowered himself down, almost close enough so that their noses were touching, but not quite. His head quirked, grin spreading.
'Couldn't give a shit!'
She could feel his breath on her lips. Her eyes flicked up to his. She blinked up at him as he pulled away, sinking back on his knees.
He quirked an eyebrow, folding his arms across his bare, broad chest, staring down at her.
'But I do have a problem with that t-shirt.'
Lucy squinted down at the image of a naked baby swimming after a dollar bill, pulling the t-shirt taught, soon gaping.
Oh my God! Is that a penis?
Josh thrummed his forearm with his fingers, smirking.
'It's signed. On the back... By the whole band.'
Lucy gasped, eyes bulging.
'What... Curt Cobain?'
'Mmmhmm,' Josh said in a singsong voice, fingers still thrumming away.
...Oh shit!
'I grabbed it out of your wardrobe! I thought it was just a print!'
Joshua slowly shook his head.
'Me and my brother stood in the rain outside a hotel in Dublin for four hours to get that,' he sighed. 'I was fourteen. You would have been...' She saw his brow crumple. 'Shit. You would have been eight!'
Lucy caught his shy smile in the moonlight. Josh pulled a face.
'That's a bit weird, when you think about it...'
She stared up at him.
'I liked Blur' she said hopefully.
His fingers froze, mid-thrum, suspended in the air.
'Right that does it,' he said, shaking his head grimly. 'You don't deserve to wear that t-shirt. Take it off. Immediately.'
He stared down at her, arms still folded across his chest.
'I mean it,' he warned, fingers thrumming again.
Lucy closed her eyes. She didn't know why she felt shy. She knew since the moment she laid eyes on him it would land up like this. Her fingers grasped the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it down her thighs for a moment as she bit her lip. She heard a faint intake of breath as she slowly hitched it up.
Her splayed fingers drew the soft cotton up to her hips, hesitating for a moment. She balanced on her heels as her hands slid up to her waist, her heart pounding. She bunched up the material, on up her rip cage, grasping it by the hem; sitting forward. With a yank, the t-shirt was over her head in her hands.
She shuddered, feeling the cool air on her skin; the pregnant pause. She heard the owl hooting outside; the grandfather clock ticking downstairs. She could hear Joshua breathing. Her eyes fluttered open. She watched his flickering over her body, black as coal; skin blue in the silvery light. Her breath hitched as he looked up at her.
Josh snatched the white t-shirt from her fingers. She watched it sail across the room.
'I never liked that t-shirt anyway.'
He came down heavily on top of her. Suddenly they were all hands and mouths; bare skin and breathlessness.
Lucy groaned, hoisting the duvet over her head, roused from her slumber by a loud, repetitive shriek.
It's him up on Penpethy again.
She scowled, clenching her fists.
Who keeps a bloody cockerel in a built up area?
They'd only had a month of peace since the last one finally shut his beak.
It shouldn't be allowed...
Actually, Lucy checked last time. It wasn't.
Right, that's it! I'm ringing the Council, first thing on...
Hang on. What day is it?
She reached out for her phone on the bedside table. Lucy's hand swooped down; she almost fell out of bed. She grasped the sheets, hauling herself back up, reaching out again, fingers splayed; feeling into nothing.
Her eyes blinked open, widening, his smell enveloping her. She yanked the duvet down from her face.
'Morning,' Josh smiled as the door swung open
. Lucy squinted up at him, blinking through tightly drawn lashes.
Amber rays streamed through the thin white curtains. He was wearing a black dressing gown. She saw the soft down on his shins; the burnished bronze skin. He clinked the tray down on the bed, grinning at her.
'Shove up then!'
Lucy hesitated, then edged away, holding the crisp white duvet cover against herself tightly, realising she was naked underneath.
It was a bit late for playing coy. She remembered the night before and flushed, smiling up at him meekly.
'Good morning.'
'Sorry if the cockerel woke you up,' said Joshua. 'I've been out and fed him - that should keep him quiet for a bit. Are you OK with toast?'
Lucy nodded and smiled, sitting up. She never ate in the morning, but today she was famished. Thirsty too - she reached out and snatched one of the glasses of ice cold orange juice, knocking it back in a few gulps.
Lucy's eyes widened in panic.
'What time is it?'
In her mind's eye, she could see a wee, angry Scotsman, jumping up and down.
Joshua laughed, grabbing a piece of toast.
'Relax! It isn't even seven yet,' he said, biting down with a loud crunch.
Isn't even seven? ...Why are we up?
Lucy clunked the empty tumbler down on the tray, tentatively picking up a slice of toast in both hands, scared of getting jam on his pristine duvet.
'One sugar, right?' said Josh, reaching out and sliding a mug of coffee across the tray towards her.
'Perfect. Thank you,' said Lucy, covering her mouth as she chewed.
'I didn't know you kept chickens,' she said, trying to make polite conversation. His eyes were vivid in the morning light; his smile brighter than ever.
'I don't,' said Josh. She watched his Adam's apple rise and fall as he glugged his coffee. 'I'm just looking after them for next door while they're on holiday.'
She closed her eyes momentarily and took another bite.
Oh thank Christ...
Of all the pets he could have had, they wouldn't have been her first choice.
'There was a fox out there last night,' she warned him, wiping the crumbs from corners of her lips with her fingertips, dashing her hands together. They were sticky. She reached for her white mug.
Joshua grinned back at her.
'There are lots of them. Welcome to the country, baby.'
She smirked up at him over her mug.
'I remember the first time you called me that,' she said mischievously, taking a sip.
He clunked his empty mug down on the tray, running his fingers through the messy caramel curls, smiling shyly.
'Believe me, I won't forget that in a hurry,' he said, giving her a look.
He reached back, snatching the cup from her fingers, clinking it next to his, the tray clattering down on the floorboards. He clambered across the bed towards Lucy. Her lips twisted as she reached out; her fingers stroking his smooth cheeks, the short, straight hair at the nape of his neck; running up through the soft curls.
'You've had a shower.'
His hair was still wet. It felt cold.
'Very observant, Miss Simkins,' he smirked. He smelt of shower gel and toothpaste. Joshua lifted the edge of the duvet, sliding in beside Lucy. He rolled onto his back, smiling up at the ceiling, hands folded across his chest, fingers thrumming away. Lucy lay there watching him nervously, twisting her ringlets around her fingers. His eyes flicked to her, glittering; mischievous. In a blink, his head was under the covers.
Lucy balked, squirming.
'Ay caramba!' came his muffled call.
She broke into a fit of nervous giggles.
His face re-emerged, smooth jaw cupped in her hands as she smiled back at him shyly. He nuzzled her aquiline nose.
'You have no idea, do you?' he said quietly.
Lucy gazed into his bottle green eyes. Her face dropped. He looked serious.
'You've got nothing to be shy about, Lucy.' He blinked, eyes glazing over. 'You're beautiful. Just... stunning.'
And suddenly, his mouth was on hers, kissing her passionately, his chest weighing down on her, their hearts pounding together. Her fingers slid beneath the thick robe, feeling the muscles of his warm back with the same urgency. She gasped him in, the morning light streaming through the billowing curtains.
Outside, the cockerel was screaming blue murder. Lucy didn't even hear.
'I told you I saw a fox,' Lucy said quietly as they sat in the car.
'Yeah, all right,' Joshua grumbled, starting the engine after a couple of turns.
'Are your neighbours going to be mad?'
'Well, they're not going to be happy,' he told her pointedly, rubbing his head, wrapping his arm around her seat. 'Just as well I didn't let the hens out too,' he said, staring out of the rear window as the car lurched backwards.
Lucy looked down at the khaki Abercrombie sweatshirt that was four sizes too big. There were a going to be a few raised eyebrows at the dropzone when she turned up in that. Josh was right though, it was chilly. And it smelt of him. She snuggled into it, lowering her chin, smirking. He didn't know she was wearing his briefs.
'Did you have jam on your hands?' Josh frowned, fidgeting in his seat, putting the car into first. 'I feel... sticky.'
Lucy laughed.
'Right. Landing and approach...'
Oh God! Lucy closed her eyes, stifling a groan. He was in full-blown instructor mode as they wove down the country lanes towards the dropzone.
'When you're on your final approach, what's your main priority?' Josh asked her.
His face was bathed in orange from the low, early sun. She bit her bottom lip, heart fluttering, smiling to herself.
Crikey Moses, my boyfriend is hot!
His caramel curls were spun with gold; lips full and soft. His skin was flawless; jaw strong and tensed; green eyes startling.
'Lucy!'
She sighed, lolling her head against the headrest, rolling her eyes.
'To keep the canopy flying straight towards a clear, open space,' Lucy retorted monotonously. 'Do we have to do this?'
She squeezed his thigh through his faded jeans, batting her eyelashes at him, but he wouldn't look. She watched him flip down the sun visor as they turned a corner into the blinding rays.
'It makes me feel better,' he said quietly.
Oh.
She couldn't very well argue with that.
'What are your priorities for landing?' he continued, staring at the road ahead, steering with one hand, chewing the fingers of the other.
She drew her hand from his knee, folding her fingers in her lap.
'Keep the canopy level, fly in a straight line, land in a clear, open space avoiding obstacles, flare to at least the half brake position.'
'...And?'
Lucy frowned at him.
What do you mean 'and'? That's it.
His eyes rolled to her briefly, brow knitting.
...Oh!
'Be prepared to make a parachute landing fall,' she added quickly.
She watched the frown melt.
'Very good!'
Josh flashed her a grin.
'That was a textbook PLF you did yesterday, by the way.'
Lucy smiled back shyly, basking in the snippet of approval.
'All right,' said Josh. 'Let's try something else. Parachute descent calculations.'
She eyed him warily.
'OK...'
'For ten points, Miss Simkins, can you tell me the wind resistance force equation?'
Lucy scowled at him.
That wasn't in the written...
'Pardon me?' she murmured.
'The wind resistance force equation. Otherwise known as the drag force equation.'
She saw his eyes glimmer; lips twitch. He tapped the steering wheel with his finger.
'I don't want to hurry you, but the clock is ticking.'
Lucy screwed her eyes shut. She took a deep, steadying breath, trying to pictu
re the formula on her laptop screen.
FD = ½ r Cd A v2
'Force drag equals half of...'
What was it called? Greek word...
She gritted her teeth, clenching her fists.
'Rho!'
Cd? ...Argh!
'Drag coefficient!'
I know this...
Her eyes burst open. She scanned the footwell.
'Force drag equals half of rho, drag coefficient, chute area and velocity squared!' she blurted. 'Ha!'
Lucy exhaled sharply as she lurched forward into the safety belt.
The car was stationary, chugging away between the overgrown hedgerows. Josh was staring at her, mouth slightly ajar.
'How the hell did you know that?' he breathed.
'I told you,' she beamed back at him, trying not to laugh. 'I do my homework. I've been waiting to do this for a long time.'
His eyes closed momentarily. Josh slid his hands down his face. His eyes flicked back open, pinning her to the spot.
'Have you any idea how sexy you make mathematical formulae sound?' he growled.
Lucy giggled back shyly, playing with her hair again, biting her lip. He went on staring at her, the look darkening.
'The things I'd like to do to you right now,' he warned her.
'...Josh, it's ten to eight!' Lucy chastised him.
Joshua closed his eyes with a groan.
'I know, I know,' he sighed. 'There'll be an angry little Scotsman hopping up and down in the manifest eleven minutes from now.'
Lucy giggled. His eyes opened, blazing green.
'I love that sound.'
Lucy stopped abruptly. She watched his Adam's apple rise and dip.
'It's your day off tomorrow, isn't it?' she threw out tauntingly.
Joshua nodded back.
'Any plans?' she blinked.
He swallowed again, slowly shaking his head.
'What about the shop?' he murmured.
Lucy grinned.
'Well you'll have to be quiet. I don't want you scaring the customers downstairs. Or Jean,' she said raising her eyebrows.
'I can't,' he sighed, frowning, closing his eyes. 'I'm supposed to be looking after the chickens.'
'Bang up job you've done so far,' Lucy teased him. Josh cut her a look.
'Thanks for that.'
He ran his hand through his hair.
'Stay at mine again,' he coaxed.
