The Freefall Trilogy (Complete Collection)

by Sadie Mills

  So that's why Dad bought me that Meccano set...

  'You're going to get bored of this.'

  Joshua shook himself, peering down at the sad smile.

  'You are,' she told him, blue eyes gleaming up. He watched them slowly flickering shut.

  'I don't know who I am anymore.'

  It was back again. The sense of impending doom; the big, black elephant in the room. As it trudged into the light, towering over them, Joshua wasn't frightened anymore. It was a shadow; just a trick of the light.

  The monster under the bed; the witch's fingers that tapped his bedroom window as a child, until he finally plucked up the courage to get up and look. All those nights he'd spent huddled up under the duvet. The gnarly hands were just twigs, from the old overgrown sycamore tree.

  'You're Lucinda Myrtle Simkins,' he told her flatly. 'You run a chocolate shop. You're birthday is the twenty-fifth of July. Your favourite colour is blue.

  ‘You like tulips and fireworks and your favourite season is Summer. You bake a mean pie but you don't like washing up. And you are, I'm sorry to say, a terrible time-keeper.

  'I'm Joshua Archibald Snow. I'm not good at much, but I think you should know, you're the only girl I ever let lay a finger on my toggles.'

  He smirked down, feeling her chest quaking against his stomach, brushing the blonde ringlets back from her face. Wars change the world. They can hinge on a battle. He'd won this one. Finally, she was laughing.

  'I think I loved you from the second I saw you sitting on that picnic bench,' he sighed. 'I think it was the messy hair,' Joshua mused. 'I had a thing for Meg Ryan when I was growing up... Even covered in Trixie's slobber, even though you scowled at me.'

  He watched Lucy's brow crinkle. She blinked up at him.

  'I didn't!' she squeaked.

  Joshua shrugged.

  'Well, you sort of smiled. I couldn't see, actually - you had those big black sunglasses on - but I imagined you were giving me one of those looks, underneath.'

  She laid her cheek back on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, tightening her arms around him as her own heart swelled. He really did remember. She could see him now, bouncing through the manifest door; that blinding white smile. She didn't know his name then. He was just Colgate Man.

  'Tell me about the cutaway,' he said quietly, green eyes pinning her to the spot. 'Don't miss anything out,' he warned. 'I want to hear the whole lot.'

  Lucy stared at him warily.

  'Please,' he nodded at her.

  She drew breath, heaving her tired body up.

  'I don't know where to start,' she said with a nervous shrug, voice barely a whisper, kneeling beside him, fingers knotting up in her lap.

  Lucy felt torn. She'd promised herself she wouldn't do this.

  Josh reached out and squeezed her hand.

  ‘Start at the beginning.'

  Joshua's thumb anxiously grazed the back of her knuckles. She peered at him through her fringe.

  'I... I was scared.'

  Her words quickly turned from blurts to a torrent. The dam broke. Lucy couldn't stop. She described the moment Froggy reached for her in freefall and missed. The moment she went into the spin. It wasn't Froggy's fault; she openly admitted kicking out. Josh had seen her do it in the wind tunnel, as if she were swimming.

  But instead of crashing down into the grill on her head (and that had scared Josh well enough), out in freefall a spin just goes on and on. She'd flipped like a ragdoll - that's what Froggy said. Like a crisp packet in the wind. She'd opened her parachute before she was stable.

  Lucy told him about the line twists. He already knew about them. Her hands that day bore the telltale rope burns of trying to wrench her way free. She sat there in front of him, chattering, wide eyes flickering around the room. The moment of the cutaway.

  It wasn't like he'd imagined. Almost 7,000 jumps and it had never happened to him. From what Lucy said, it seemed like the eye of the storm: shit or bust. An eerie moment of calm.

  He remembered standing there, breathless, watching the blue canopy float away; helpless as the little black speck plummeted down. Then the white chute opened. He blinked in disbelief. Josh started running again.

  It suddenly hit him. She'd never told anyone. She'd never shared any of this with a soul. She could hardly talk to her mum about it; none of her whuffo friends would understand. He ran his hand through his curly caramel hair, the other squeezing her fingers as she chattered on. Froggy was right. She'd been suffering. It had been swimming around in the confines of her head; eating away for a month. He could see her shoulders slackening, as if a huge weight was lifting. He stared through the black lashes and saw a shard of light re-emerging in her crystal blue eyes.

  Her voice cracked as she described the moment before impact. She remembered his face; convinced she was going to die. Josh swallowed hard, his hands itching to reach out. He had to restrain himself. He couldn't risk her stopping now.

  She told him about lying in the corn; hearing the crickets' song, so loud it hurt her ears. Feeling one hop onto her cheek, scared it would go up her nose, too tired to raise her hand and brush it away. Waiting for minutes/hours/days, the white parachute blanketing out the blue sky. Closing her eyes; the blinding white light.

  '...That's it, really,' Lucy said quietly.

  Joshua blinked up at her.

  He pulled her hand to his chest, pressing it to his heart, covering it with his own. Her gaze flickered down to their fingers.

  'Don't stop talking to me again. Ever,' he warned her quietly. 'If we can't talk to each other, what have we got?'

  The piercing stare bounced up to his.

  'I'm worried about us,' she admitted, eyebrows contorting. 'I'm scared I'm going to lose you.'

  Joshua frowned.

  'What do you mean?'

  'If I can't jump anymore...' Lucy shrugged sadly.

  'Oh no,' he growled, grabbing her arms. Lucy yelped in surprise as he flipped her beneath him. In a second, she was flat on her back.

  'Don't you start with any of that.'

  He knew exactly what she was talking about. Love on the dropzone. It tended to fizzle out pretty quick. When two people meet in that environment, it's pretty easy to confuse the experience of jumping with the experience of that person; get the two of them all ravelled up. When they eventually realise that their shared love of jumping is all they really have in common, it's never very long before it all falls apart.

  He knelt over her, watching her, gently brushing her hair back from her face.

  'You're a chocolateer, right?'

  She couldn't help but smile. He made it sound so exciting.

  'Right,' she said with a confused shrug.

  'Right,' Josh said matter-of-factly. 'So if I told you I was a diabetic tomorrow, would you finish with me?'

  'Well, no—'

  'I should fucking well hope not!' he grinned, dropping down onto his elbows. Lucy closed her eyes, squirming in anticipation as she felt his lips on her neck.

  'You think I brought you to Paris to break up with you?' he murmured.

  Her hands froze on his back, eyes blinking open.

  Joshua smiled, rubbing his nose against hers.

  'Have you any idea how crazy that sounds?'

  She scanned the ceiling, as if looking for the answer. Her lips twisted in a shy smile.

  'I love you,' he said, smile dropping, eyes a searching green blaze.

  She stared at him. Lucy's heart surged.

  It wasn't as if she'd never heard it before. Half a dozen before him had told her that, in a hundred different ways. But for some reason, every time Josh said it, Lucy stopped breathing. Before she could catch her breath, his mouth was on hers.

  Joshua groaned, smiling, reaching out in his half-sleep. His fingers splayed, searching the cold crumpled sheet; reaching further and further. He frowned, squinting down at the vast empty space.

  He felt disorientated for a moment, until he saw the half-naked Skyfall girl
poster looming down from the opposite wall. Josh had stayed there a couple of times. Philippe claimed he'd once dated her - you never knew with Philippe. 99% of the time though, he was full of shit.

  He wrenched back the duvet, hauling himself up, grabbing his faded blue jeans and pulling them on. The apartment was cold. The light was bright. Josh stumbled out into the corridor, rubbing his eyes.

  Wow...

  Joshua stopped dead in his tracks.

  She was lying on the shabby brown sofa in the sitting room, bathed in blinding sunlight. Eyes closed, head bobbing, smiling; toes flicking away to the tinny beat of the white earphones. Her honey-blonde hair was straight - he'd never seen it like that; it looked even longer - pinned back behind her ear with a tiny clip. She was wearing red lipstick and a collared, buttoned beige dress. Josh stood there, staring at her.

  Lucy grinned to herself, wriggling her stocking toes, humming away to Frank Sinatra's Somewhere Beyond The Sea.

  Paris!

  She snickered, pounding the cushion with her heels in a burst of excitement. Her fingers thrummed the air after his melody as she lay there, lips gently tilted upward. Eyes closed; brow raised in accord, humming away to the music.

  Kerchic... Kerchic-kerchic-kerchic.

  Lucy's eyes blinked open.

  Josh stood over her, bare-chested, grinning down from behind the outstretched phone. Her face dropped, eyes flaring, cheeks heating up. She yanked the buds from her ears.

  'Sorry, baby,' he said, lowering the phone from her face. 'I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to remember you like this.'

  She was pissed off for a second. She hated having her picture taken - she didn't know he'd been standing there, invading her private little moment.

  'You look beautiful,' he said flatly, by way of explanation/apology, running a nervous hand through his hair.

  Lucy smiled up at him.

  'Budge up.'

  She scootched to the back of the sofa, feeling it dip as he laid down beside her.

  'What you listening to?'

  Before she had time to answer, Josh had grabbed one of the buds, pushing it into his ear. Lucy was mortified.

  She reached down to change the track but was stopped by Joshua's tanned hand.

  'Blue eyes,' he grinned up at her, the lines around his green deepening.

  She'd listened to the same track three times on the trot; she didn't know why. Lucy did that a lot - she'd probably hate it tomorrow.

  Josh held the other ear bud out to her. She saw his bare toes tapping away and reluctantly took it. He pulled her into his arms, her cheek resting against his warm, tanned chest as they listened, the sprinkling of soft hair tickling her.

  'I always liked that one,' he nodded as the music faded away. He peered down at her down at her, smiling. He crooked an eyebrow. 'Play it again.'

  Joshua held her in his arms, eyes shut in the blinding white light, feeling the rise and fall of her chest against his through the flimsy chiffon dress. Stroking her soft hair; listening to the music. She smelt of roses and candyfloss. He felt her fingers wandering and smiled to himself, stroking her warm, silky arms; encouraging her. A flurry of hot kisses across his abdomen made his breath catch in his throat. He caught her under her arms, heaving her on top of him, green eyes blinking open. His fingers traced the hem of her dress, pushing it up.

  His eyes flared.

  Stockings?

  He looked again.

  Fucking hell!

  She was wearing a suspender belt.

  Her red lips smiled down at him.

  That was it; it was crystallised as he gasped up at her. They'd come to Paris for a reason. He sat up, craning his neck to kiss her. He'd been in two minds earlier as he witnessed her little freak out - he didn't want to take advantage. He'd been in two minds since he watched her throwing her guts up over the side of the ferry. Maybe it was a bad omen - maybe it just wasn't meant? But this was the old Lucy... or maybe the new? Pushing back against him, yanking his hair. She leant down over him; he felt her lips on his throat. She was stronger now; taking control. He heard the chink of his belt. He was going to do what he'd come here to do.

  'You know, I never heard you sing before today,' Joshua mused.

  She could feel him peering down at her. She didn't dare raise her head.

  'You've got a beautiful voice,' he told her, his arm tightening around her waist.

  She flushed, smirking down at the bows of her blue ballerina shoes as they traversed the shiny cobbles.

  'Thank you,' she muttered back.

  'Well, this is it,' Josh told her, nodding up to the row of arched windows fronting the limestone expanse.

  Le Louvre.

  'Do you want to go inside?'

  Lucy peered up at him.

  'Actually, I'm a little hungry right now. Do you think we could grab something to eat?' she asked hopefully.

  Joshua grinned, squeezing her shoulders. They started walking again. He felt relieved - he was starving himself. He knew diddly-squat about art.

  'What's all this?' Josh asked as they stepped onto the plinths of the little footbridge.

  Lucy's eyes skimmed the wire mesh either side; the blaze of multicoloured padlocks.

  'I don't know,' she shrugged, crinkling her nose in disdain. 'I suppose it's some weird modern art thing.'

  He smiled down at her, smoothing a stray flick of blonde hair back from the wind.

  A moustached man played the guitar at the bow of the bridge: a gentle melody, plucking the notes with his dark, deft fingers. The trees were red; the sky was blue. It couldn't have been better. It couldn't have been any more French.

  'Let's go and have a look,' Joshua coaxed her, gently tugging her hand.

  Lucy squinted down at the padlocks; the pairs of names scrawled on each one.

  Gerard et Aimee, 1993, Lucy & Etienne 2010.

  Lucy watched Joshua's fingertip drift across the letters. She blinked up him. He quirked an eyebrow.

  'I swear to God, I never met him before my life!'

  Joshua laughed.

  She got it, as they trailed the mass of entwined names. It was a lovers' bridge; those padlocks were a sign of commitment. They hadn't arrived there by happy accident - Josh had brought her there on purpose. She watched him stand back, fumbling in his pocket.

  'Here,' he said, uncharacteristically shyly.

  She felt the thud of warm metal in her hand. Lucy blinked down at the gold Chubb padlock, turning it over.

  Joshua and Lucy

  12.09.2013

  It wasn't just shitty scribble with a marker pen that was going to bleed with the rain. He'd had it engraved. Lucy stared up at him.

  'You don't have to,' he shrugged. 'It was just an idea. If you don't like it, it's OK.'

  She went on staring, open-mouthed. She watched him run a nervous hand through his hair. She turned on her heels and started clomping away.

  '...Here?'

  Her fingers traced a gap in the mesh. It was right at the top, near the apex of the bridge. He smiled down at her, fingers encircling hers as she fed the arm of the padlock through the wire. They fastened it together with a loud click.

  'These are yours,' he told her, jiggling a little pair of silver keys. 'You can always come back later and take it off,' he said, crooking an eyebrow.

  She took the keys from his fingers; realised he was shaking. She peered up at him; saw the bravado slip away. She could see it in his eyes: the fear - she hadn't been imagining it. He'd been so edgy these past few days.

  Lucy smiled up at him, then turned away; staring down over the edge at the rippling, silver Seine. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She made a wish; then threw the keys.

  He stood beside her, elbows resting on the rail.

  'What?'

  He bit his lip, frowning down at the water.

  'What is it?' Lucy asked him gently.

  'Nothing,' Josh grinned, strong arms wrapping around her waist, spinning her back towards him.


  'It'll keep.'

  She breathed in his woody scent as her arms wrapped around his neck, the guitarist playing away. Lucy blinked down at their feet.

  They were doing something they'd never done before. Josh twirled her around. She laughed; he pulled her back into his arms, hips swaying together in time to the music. The two of them were kissing, on a little bridge in Paris. They were dancing, over the Seine.

  'Have you decided yet?' Josh asked her, smirking down at his menu, anticipating another twenty minutes of umming and ahhing, then wanting to share whatever he ordered.

  'Oh yes,' she nodded, smiling. 'I know exactly what I want.'

  She sat back, sipping her water, pushing the closed menu away across the white tablecloth.

  Josh frowned down at his menu again.

  Sirloin steak.

  That had to be safe, didn't it?

  Hang on...

  It didn't actually say beef.

  Since the great Tesco horsemeat scandal, Josh had become a pretty picky eater. He'd grown up on reruns of Champion The Wonder Horse at his grandparents' house.

  'Monsieur... Mademoiselle?'

  The waiter stood over them, notepad in hand.

  'Are you ready to order?'

  Josh watched Lucy smile up politely. He opened his mouth to protest - he hadn't made up his mind. The waiter grinned down at her, all big, dark eyes; thick, gelled hair and perfect white teeth. Josh smelt his aftershave and frowned.

  'I'll have the duck,' Josh told him, snapping his menu shut.

  Duck's duck, right? How could he go wrong?

  The waiter scribbled it down.

  'And for you Mademoiselle?' he smiled down at Lucy.

  Joshua gritted his teeth. He really didn't appreciate the seductive accent, or tone.

  'Umm...'

  Josh smirked across the table at her.

  Here we go...

  She glanced back at him and smiled, then peered up at the waiter.