Vanity Fair (Barnes & Noble Classics Series)

by William Makepeace Thackeray

  ‘Gad, what a fine night, and how bright the moon is!‘ George said, with a puff of his cigar, which went soaring up skywards.

  ‘How delicious they smell in the open air! I adore them. Who‘d think the moon was two hundred and thirty-six thousand eight hundred and forty-seven miles off?‘ Becky added, gazing at that orb with a smile. ‘Isn‘t it clever of me to remember that? Pooh! we learned it all at Miss Pinkerton‘s! How calm the sea is, and how clear everything. I declare I can almost see the coast of France!‘ and her bright green eyes streamed out, and shot into the night as if they could see through it.

  ‘Do you know what I intend to do one morning?‘ she said; ‘I find I can swim beautifully, and some day, when my Aunt Crawley‘s companion—old Briggs, you know—you remember her—that hook-nosed woman, with the long wisps of hair—when Briggs goes out to bathe, I intend to dive under her awning, and insist on a reconciliation in the water. Isn‘t that a stratagem?‘

  George burst out laughing at the idea of this aquatic meeting. ‘What‘s the row there, you two?‘ Rawdon shouted out, rattling the box. Amelia was making a fool of herself in an absurd hysterical manner, and retired to her own room to whimper in private.

  Our history is destined in this chapter to go backwards and forwards in a very irresolute manner seemingly, and having conducted our story to to morrow presently, we shall immediately again have occasion to step back to yesterday, so that the whole of the tale may get a hearing. As you behold at Her Majesty‘s drawing-room, the ambassadors‘ and high dignitaries‘ carriages whisk off from a private door, while Captain Jones‘s ladies are waiting for their fly: as you see in the Secretary of the Treasury‘s antechamber, a half-dozen of petitioners waiting patiently for their audience, and called out one by one, when suddenly an Irish member or some eminent personage enters the apartment, and instantly walks into Mr. Under-Secretary over the heads of all the people present: so in the conduct of a tale, the romancer is obliged to exercise this most partial sort of justice. Although all the little incidents must be heard, yet they must be put off when the great events make their appearance; and surely such a circumstance as that which brought Dobbin to Brighton, viz., the ordering out of the Guards and the line to Belgium, and the mustering of the allied armies in that country under the command of his Grace the Duke of Wellington—such a dignified circumstance as that, I say, was entitled to the pas over all minor occurrences whereof this history is composed mainly, and hence a little trifling disarrangement and disorder was excusable and becoming. We have only now advanced in time so far beyond Chapter XXII as to have got our various characters up into their dressing-rooms before the dinner, which took place as usual on the day of Dobbin‘s arrival.

  George was too humane or too much occupied with the tie of his neck cloth to convey at once all the news to Amelia which his comrade had brought with him from London. He came into her room, however, holding the attorney‘s letter in his hand, and with so solemn and important an air that his wife, always ingeniously on the watch for calamity, thought the worst was about to befall, and running up to her husband, besought her dearest George to tell her everything—he was ordered abroad; there would be a battle next week—she knew there would.

  Dearest George parried the question about foreign service, and with a melancholy shake of the head said, ‘No, Emmy; it isn‘t that: it‘s not myself I care about: it‘s you. I have had bad news from my father. He refuses any communication with me; he has flung us off; and leaves us to poverty. I can rough it well enough; but you, my dear, how will you bear it? read here.‘ And he handed her over the letter.

  A FAMILY PARTY AT BRIGHTON

  Amelia, with a look of tender alarm in her eyes, listened to her noble hero as he uttered the above generous sentiments, and sitting down on the bed, read the letter which George gave her with such a pompous martyr-like air. Her face cleared up as she read the document, however. The idea of sharing poverty and privation in company with the beloved object, is, as we have before said, far from being disagreeable to a warm-hearted woman. The notion was actually pleasant to little Amelia. Then, as usual, she was ashamed of herself for feeling happy at such an indecorous moment, and checked her pleasure, saying demurely, ‘Oh, George, how your poor heart must bleed at the idea of being separated from your papa.‘

  ‘It does,‘ said George, with an agonized countenance.

  ‘But he can‘t be angry with you long,‘ she continued. ‘Nobody could, I‘m sure. He must forgive you, my dearest, kindest husband. Oh, I shall never forgive myself if he does not.‘

  ‘What vexes me, my poor Emmy, is not my misfortune, but yours,‘ George said. ‘I don‘t care for a little poverty; and I think, without vanity, I‘ve talents enough to make my own way.‘

  ‘That you have,‘ interposed his wife, who thought that war should cease, and her husband should be made a general instantly.

  ‘Yes, I shall make my way as well as another,‘ Osborne went on; ‘but you, my dear girl, how can I bear your being deprived of the comforts and station in society which my wife had a right to expect? My dearest girl in barracks; the wife of a soldier in a marching regiment; subject to all sorts of annoyance and privation! It makes me miserable.‘

  Emmy, quite at ease, as this was her husband‘s only cause of disquiet, took his hand, and with a radiant face and smile began to warble that stanza from the favourite song of ‘Wapping Old Stairs‘, in which the heroine after rebuking her Tom for inattention, promises ‘his trousers to mend, and his grog too to make‘, if he will be constant and kind, and not forsake her. ‘Besides,‘ she said, after a pause, during which she looked as pretty and happy as any young woman need, ‘isn‘t two thousand pounds an immense deal of money, George?‘

  George laughed at her naïveté; and finally they went down to dinner, Amelia clinging on George‘s arm, still warbling the tune of ‘Wapping Old Stairs‘, and more pleased and light of mind than she had been for some days past.

  Thus the repast, which at length came off, instead of being dismal, was an exceedingly brisk and merry one. The excitement of the campaign counteracted in George‘s mind the depression occasioned by the disinheriting letter. Dobbin still kept up his character of rattle. He amused the company with accounts of the army in Belgium, where nothing but fêtes and gaiety and fashion were going on. Then, having a particular end in view, this dexterous captain proceeded to describe Mrs. Major O‘Dowd, packing her own and her major‘s wardrobe, and how his best epaulets had been stowed into a tea canister, whilst her own famous yellow turban, with the bird of paradise wrapped in brown paper, was locked up in the major‘s tin cocked-hat case, and wondered what effect it would have at the French king‘s court at Ghent, or the great military balls at Brussels.

  ‘Ghent! Brussels!‘ cried out Amelia with a sudden shock and start. ‘Is the regiment ordered away, George,—is it ordered away?‘ A look of terror came over the sweet smiling face, and she clung to George as by an instinct.

  ‘Don‘t be afraid, dear,‘ he said good-naturedly; ‘it is but a twelve hours‘ passage. It won‘t hurt you. You shall go, too, Emmy.‘

  ‘I intend to go,‘ said Becky, ‘I‘m on the staff. General Tufto is a great flirt of mine. Isn‘t he, Rawdon?‘

  Rawdon laughed out with his usual roar. William Dobbin flushed up quite red. ‘She can‘t go,‘ he said; ‘think of the—of the danger,‘ he was going to add; but had not all his conversation during dinner-time tended to prove there was none? He became very confused and silent.

  ‘I must and will go,‘ Amelia cried with the greatest spirit; and George, applauding her resolution, patted her under the chin, and asked all the persons present if they ever saw such a termagant of a wife, and agreed that the lady should bear him company. ‘We‘ll have Mrs. O‘Dowd to chaperon you,‘ he said. What cared she so long as her husband was near her? Thus somehow the bitterness of a parting was juggled away. Though war and danger were in store, war and danger might not befall for months to come. There was a respite at any rate, whi
ch made the timid little Amelia almost as happy as a full reprieve would have done, and which even Dobbin owned in his heart was very welcome. For, to be permitted to see her was now the greatest privilege and hope of his life, and he thought with himself secretly how he would watch and protect her. I wouldn‘t have let her go if I had been married to her, he thought. But George was the master, and his friend did not think fit to remonstrate.

  Putting her arm round her friend‘s waist, Rebecca at length carried Amelia off from the dinner-table where so much business of importance had been discussed, and left the gentlemen in a highly exhilarated state drinking and talking very gaily.

  In the course of the evening Rawdon got a little family-note from his wife, which although he crumpled it up and burnt it instantly in the candle, we had the good luck to read over Rebecca‘s shoulder. ‘Great news,‘ she wrote. ‘Mrs. Bute is gone. Get the money from Cupid to-night, as he‘ll be off to-morrow most likely. Mind this.—R.‘ So when the little company was about adjourning to coffee in the women‘s apartment, Rawdon touched Osborne on the elbow, and said gracefully, ‘I say, Osborne, my boy, if quite convenient, I‘ll trouble you for that ‘ere small trifle.‘ It was not quite convenient, but nevertheless George gave him a considerable present instalment in bank-notes from his pocket-book, and a bill on his agents at a week‘s date, for the remaining sum.

  This matter arranged, George, and Jos, and Dobbin, held a council of war over their cigars, and agreed that a general move should be made for London in Jos‘s open carriage the next day. Jos, I think, would have preferred staying until Rawdon Crawley quitted Brighton, but Dobbin and George overruled him, and he agreed to carry the party to town, and ordered four horses, as became his dignity With these they set off in state, after breakfast, the next day. Amelia had risen very early in the morning, and packed her little trunks with the greatest alacrity, while Osborne lay in bed deploring that she had not a maid to help her. She was only too glad, however, to perform this office for herself. A dim uneasy sentiment about Rebecca filled her mind already; and although they kissed each other most tenderly at parting, yet we know what jealousy is; and Mrs. Amelia possessed that among other virtues of her sex.

  Besides these characters who are coming and going away, we must remember that there were some other old friends of ours at Brighton; Miss Crawley, namely, and the suite in attendance upon her. Now, although Rebecca and her husband were but at a few stones‘ throw of the lodgings which the invalid Miss Crawley occupied, the old lady‘s door remained as pitilessly closed to them as it had been heretofore in London. As long as she remained by the side of her sister-in-law, Mrs. Bute Crawley took care that her beloved Matilda should not be agitated by a meeting with her nephew. When the spinster took her drive, the faithful Mrs. Bute sat beside her in the carriage. When Miss Crawley took the air in a chair, Mrs. Bute marched on one side of the vehicle, whilst honest Briggs occupied the other wing. And if they met Rawdon and his wife by chance—although the former constantly and obsequiously took off his hat, the Miss-Crawley party passed him by with such a frigid and killing indifference, that Rawdon began to despair.

  ‘We might as well be in London as here,‘ Captain Rawdon often said, with a downcast air.

  ‘A comfortable inn in Brighton is better than a spunging-house in Chancery Lane,‘ his wife answered, who was of a more cheerful temperament. ‘Think of those two aides de camp of Mr. Moses, the sheriffs officer, who watched our lodging for a week. Our friends here are very stupid, but Mr. Jos and Captain Cupid are better companions than Mr. Moses‘s men, Rawdon, my love.‘

  ‘I wonder the writsgz haven‘t followed me down here,‘ Rawdon continued, still desponding.

  ‘When they do, we‘ll find means to give them the slip,‘ said dauntless little Becky, and further pointed out to her husband the great comfort and advantage of meeting Joe and Osborne, whose acquaintance had brought to Rawdon Crawley a most timely little supply of ready money.

  ‘It will hardly be enough to pay the inn bill,‘ grumbled the Guardsman.

  ‘Why need we pay it?‘ said the lady, who had an answer for everything.

  Through Rawdon‘s valet, who still kept up a trifling acquaintance with the male inhabitants of Miss Crawley‘s servants‘ hall, and was instructed to treat the coachman to drink whenever they met, old Miss Crawley‘s movements were pretty well known by our young couple; and Rebecca luckily bethought herself of being unwell, and of calling in the same apothecary who was in attendance upon the spinster, so that their information was on the whole tolerably complete. Nor was Miss Briggs, although forced to adopt a hostile attitude, secretly inimical to Rawdon and his wife. She was naturally of a kindly and forgiving disposition. Now that the cause of jealousy was removed, her dislike for Rebecca disappeared also, and she remembered the latter‘s invariable good words and good humour. And, indeed, she and Mrs. Firkin, the lady‘s-maid, and the whole of Miss Crawley‘s household, groaned under the tyranny of the triumphant Mrs. Bute.

  As often will be the case, that good but imperious woman pushed her advantages too far, and her successes quite unmercifully. She had in the course of a few weeks brought the invalid to such a state of helpless docility, that the poor soul yielded herself entirely to her sister‘s orders, and did not even dare to complain of her slavery to Briggs or Firkin. Mrs. Bute measured out the glasses of wine which Miss Crawley was daily allowed to take, with irresistible accuracy, greatly to the annoyance of Firkin and the butler, who found themselves deprived of control over even the sherry-bottle. She apportioned the sweetbreads, jellies, chickens; their quantity and order. Night and noon and morning she brought the abominable drinks ordained by the doctor, and made her patient swallow them with so affecting an obedience, that Firkin said my poor missus du take her physic like a lamb. She prescribed the drive in the carriage or the ride in the chair, and, in a word, ground down the old lady in her convalescence in such a way as only belongs to your proper-managing, motherly, moral woman. If ever the patient faintly resisted, and pleaded for a little bit more dinner or a little drop less medicine, the nurse threatened her with instantaneous death, when Miss Crawley instantly gave in. ‘She‘s no spirit left in her,‘ Firkin remarked to Briggs; ‘she ain‘t ‘ave called me a fool these three weeks.‘ Finally, Mrs. Bute had made up her mind to dismiss the aforesaid honest lady‘s-maid, Mr. Bowls the large confidential man, and Briggs herself, and to send for her daughters from the Rectory, previous to removing the dear invalid bodily to Queen‘s Crawley, when an odious accident happened which called her away from duties so pleasing. The Reverend Bute Crawley, her husband, riding home one night, fell with his horse and broke his collar-bone. Fever and inflammatory symptoms set in, and Mrs. Bute was forced to leave Sussex for Hampshire. As soon as ever Bute was restored, she promised to return to her dearest friend, and departed, leaving the strongest injunctions with the household regarding their behaviour to their mistress; and as soon as she got into the Southampton coach, there was such a jubilee and sense of relief in all Miss Crawley‘s house, as the company of persons assembled there had not experienced for many a week before. That very day Miss Crawley left off her afternoon dose of medicine: that afternoon Bowls opened an independent bottle of sherry for himself and Mrs. Firkin: that night Miss Crawley and Miss Briggs indulged in a game of piquet instead of one of Porteus‘s sermons. It was as in the old nursery-story, when the stick forgot to beat the dog, and the whole course of events underwent a peaceful and happy revolution.

  At a very early hour in the morning, twice or thrice a week, Miss Briggs used to betake herself to a bathing-machine, and disport in the water in a flannel gown and an oilskin cap. Rebecca, as we have seen, was aware of this circumstance, and though she did not attempt to storm Briggs as she had threatened, and actually dive into that lady‘s presence and surprise her under the sacredness of the awning, Mrs. Rawdon determined to attack Briggs as she came away from her bath, refreshed and invigorated by her dip, and likely to be in good humour.

 
So, getting up very early the next morning, Becky brought the telescope in their sitting-room, which faced the sea, to bear upon the bathing-machines on the beach; saw Briggs arrive, enter her box, and put out to sea; and was on the shore just as the nymph of whom she came in quest stepped out of the little caravan on to the shingles. It was a pretty picture: the beach; the bathing women‘s faces; the long line of rocks and building were blushing and bright in the sunshine. Rebecca wore a kind, tender smile on her face, and was holding out her pretty white hand as Briggs emerged from the box. What could Briggs do but accept the salutation?

  ‘Miss Sh—, Mrs. Crawley,‘ she said.

  Mrs. Crawley seized her hand, pressed it to her heart, and with a sudden impulse, flinging her arms round Briggs, kissed her affectionately. ‘Dear, dear friend!‘ she said, with a touch of such natural feeling, that Miss Briggs of course at once began to melt, and even the bathing-woman was mollified.

  Rebecca found no difficulty in engaging Briggs in a long, intimate, and delightful conversation. Everything that had passed since the morning of Becky‘s sudden departure from Miss Crawley‘s house in Park Lane up to the present day, and Mrs. Bute‘s happy retreat, was discussed and described by Briggs. All Miss Crawley‘s symptoms, and the particulars of her illness and medical treatment, were narrated by the confidante with that fullness and accuracy which women delight in. About their complaints and their doctors do ladies ever tire of talking to each other? Briggs did not on this occasion; nor did Rebecca weary of listening. She was thankful, truly thankful, that the dear kind Briggs, that the faithful, the invaluable Firkin, had been permitted to remain with their benefactress through her illness. Heaven bless her! though she, Rebecca, had seemed to act undutifully towards Miss Crawley; yet was not her fault a natural and excusable one? Could she help giving her hand to the man who had won her heart? Briggs, the sentimental, could only turn up her eyes to heaven at this appeal, and heave a sympathetic sigh, and think that she, too, had given away her affections long years ago, and own that Rebecca was no very great criminal.