Vanity Fair (Barnes & Noble Classics Series)

by William Makepeace Thackeray

  Besides her pension of fifty pounds a year, there had been five hundred pounds, as her husband‘s executor stated, left in the agent‘s hands at the time of Osborne‘s demise, which sum, as George‘s guardian, Dobbin proposed to put out at 8 per cent in an Indian house of agency. Mr. Sedley, who thought the major had some roguish intentions of his own about the money, was strongly against this plan; and he went to the agents to protest personally against the employment of the money in question, when he learned, to his surprise, that there had been no such sum in their hands, that all the late captain‘s assets did not amount to a hundred pounds, and that the five hundred pounds in question must be a separate sum, of which Major Dobbin knew the particulars. More than ever convinced that there was some roguery, old Sedley pursued the major. As his daughter‘s nearest friend, he demanded with a high hand, a statement of the late captain‘s accounts. Dobbin‘s stammering, blushing, and awkwardness added to the other‘s convictions that he had a rogue to deal with; and in a majestic tone he told that officer a piece of his mind, as he called it, simply stating his belief that the major was unlawfully detaining his late son-in-law‘s money.

  Dobbin at this lost all patience, and if his accuser had not been so old and so broken, a quarrel might have ensued between them at the Slaughters‘ Coffee-house, in a box of which place of entertainment the gentlemen had their colloquy. ‘Come upstairs, sir,‘ lisped out the major. ‘I insist on your coming upstairs, and I will show which is the injured party, poor George or I;‘ and, dragging the old gentleman up to his bedroom, he produced from his desk Osborne‘s accounts, and a bundle of I O U‘s which the latter had given, who, to do him justice, was always ready to give an I O U. ‘He paid his bills in England,‘ Dobbin added, ‘but he had not a hundred pounds in the world when he fell. I and one or two of his brother-officers made up the little sum, which was all that we could spare, and you dare tell us that we are trying to cheat the widow and the orphan.‘ Sedley was very contrite and humbled, though the fact is, that William Dobbin had told a great falsehood to the old gentleman; having himself given every shilling of the money, having buried his friend, and paid all the fees and charges incident upon the calamity and removal of poor Amelia.

  About these expenses old Osborne had never given himself any trouble to think, nor any other relative of Amelia, nor Amelia herself, indeed. She trusted to Major Dobbin as an accountant, took his somewhat confused calculations for granted: and never once suspected how much she was in his debt.

  Twice or thrice in the year, according to her promise, she wrote him letters to Madras, letters all about little Georgy. How he treasured these papers ! Whenever Amelia wrote he answered, and not until then. But he sent over endless remembrances of himself to his godson and to her. He ordered and sent a box of scarfs, and a grand ivory set of chess-men from China. The pawns were little green and white men, with real swords and shields; the knights were on horseback, the castles were on the backs of elephants. ‘Mrs. Mango‘s own set at the Pineries was not so fine,‘ Mr. Pestler remarked. These chess-men were the delight of Georgy‘s life, who printed his first letter in acknowledgement of this gift of his godpapa. He sent over preserves and pickles, which latter the young gentleman tried surreptitiously in the sideboard, and half-killed himself with eating. He thought it was a judgement upon him for stealing, they were so hot. Emmy wrote a comical little account of this mishap to the major: it pleased him to think that her spirits were rallying, and that she could be merry sometimes now. He sent over a pair of shawls, a white one for her, and a black one with palm-leaves for her mother, and a pair of red scarfs, as winter wrappers, for old Mr. Sedley and George. The shawls were worth fifty guineas a piece at the very least, as Mrs. Sedley knew. She wore hers in state at church at Brompton, and was congratulated by her female friends upon the splendid acquisition. Emmy‘s, too, became prettily her modest black gown. ‘What a pity it is she won‘t think of him,‘ Mrs. Sedley remarked to Mrs. Clapp, and to all her friends of Brompton. ‘Jos never sent us such presents, I am sure, and grudges us everything. It is evident that the major is over head and ears in love with her: and yet, whenever I so much as hint it, she turns red and begins to cry, and goes and sits upstairs with her miniature. I‘m sick of that miniature. I wish we had never seen those odious purse-proud Osbornes.‘

  Amidst such humble scenes and associates George‘s early youth was passed, and the boy grew up delicate, sensitive, imperious, woman-bred-domineering the gentle mother whom he loved with passionate affection. He ruled all the rest of the little world round about him. As he grew, the elders were amazed at his haughty manner and his constant likeness to his father. He asked questions about everything, as inquiring youth will do. The profundity of his remarks and interrogatories astonished his old grandfather, who perfectly bored the club at the tavern with stories about the little lad‘s learning and genius. He suffered his grandmother with a good-humoured indifference. The small circle round about him believed that the equal of the boy did not exist upon the earth. Georgy inherited his father‘s pride, and perhaps thought they were not wrong.

  When he grew to be about six years old, Dobbin began to write to him very much. The major wanted to hear that Georgy was going to a school, and hoped he would acquit himself with credit there: or would he have a good tutor at home? it was time that he should begin to learn; and his godfather and guardian hinted that he hoped to be allowed to defray the charges of the boy‘s education, which would fall heavily upon his mother‘s straitened income. The major, in a word, was always thinking about Amelia and her little boy, and by orders to his agents kept the latter provided with picture-books, paint-boxes, desks, and all conceivable implements of amusement and instruction. Three days before George‘s sixth birthday, a gentleman in a gig, accompanied by a servant, drove up to Mr. Sedley‘s house, and asked to see Master George Osborne: it was Mr. Woolsey, military tailor, of Conduit Street, who came at the major‘s order to measure the young gentleman for a suit of cloth clothes. He had had the honour of making for the captain, the young gentleman‘s father.

  Sometimes, too, and by the major‘s desire no doubt, his sisters, the Misses Dobbin, would call in the family carriage to take Amelia and the little boy a drive if they were so inclined. The patronage and kindness of these ladies was very uncomfortable to Amelia, but she bore it meekly enough, for her nature was to yield; and, besides, the carriage and its splendours gave little Georgy immense pleasure. The ladies begged occasionally that the child might pass a day with them, and he was always glad to go to that fine garden-house at Denmark Hill, where they lived, and where there were such fine grapes in the hot-houses and peaches on the walls.

  One day they kindly came over to Amelia with news which they were sure would delight her—something very interesting about their dear William.

  ‘What was it: was he coming home?‘ she asked with pleasure beaming in her eyes.

  ‘Oh, no—not the least—but they had very good reason to believe that dear William was about to be married—and to a relation of a very dear friend of Amelia‘s—to Miss Glorvina O‘Dowd, Sir Michael O‘Dowd‘s sister, who had gone out to join Lady O‘Dowd at Madras—a very beautiful and accomplished girl, everybody said.‘

  Amelia said ‘Oh!‘ Amelia was very, very happy indeed. But she supposed Glorvina could not be like her old acquaintance, who was most kind—but—but she was very happy indeed. And by some impulse, of which I cannot explain the meaning, she took George in her arms and kissed him with an extraordinary tenderness. Her eyes were quite moist when she put the child down; and she scarcely spoke a word during the whole of the drive—though she was so very happy indeed.

  CHAPTER XXXIX

  A Cynical Chapter

  Our duty now takes us back for a brief space to some old Hampshire acquaintances of ours, whose hopes respecting the disposal of their rich kinswoman‘s property were so wofully disappointed. After counting upon thirty thousand pounds from his sister, it was a heavy blow to Bute Crawley to receive but f
ive; out of which sum, when he had paid his own debts and those of Jim, his son at college, a very small fragment remained to portion off his four plain daughters. Mrs. Bute never knew, or at least never acknowledged, how far her own tyrannous behaviour had tended to ruin her husband. All that woman could do, she vowed and protested she had done. Was it her fault if she did not possess those sycophantic arts which her hypocritical nephew, Pitt Crawley, practised? She wished him all the happiness which he merited out of his ill-gotten gains. ‘At least the money will remain in the family,‘ she said, charitably. ‘Pitt will never spend it, my dear, that is quite certain; for a greater miser does not exist in England, and he is as odious, though in a different way, as his spendthrift brother, the abandoned Rawdon.‘

  So Mrs. Bute, after the first shock of rage and disappointment, began to accommodate herself as best she could to her altered fortunes, and to save and retrench with all her might. She instructed her daughters how to bear poverty cheerfully, and invented a thousand notable methods to conceal or evade it. She took them about to balls and public places in the neighbourhood, with praiseworthy energy: nay, she entertained her friends in a hospitable comfortable manner at the Rectory, and much more frequently than before dear Miss Crawley‘s legacy had fallen in. From her outward bearing nobody would have supposed that the family had been disappointed in their expectations: or have guessed from her frequent appearance in public how she pinched and starved at home. Her girls had more milliner‘s furniture than they had ever enjoyed before. They appeared perseveringly at the Winchester and Southampton assemblies; they penetrated to Cowes for the race-balls and regatta-gaieties there; and their carriage, with the horses taken from the plough, was at work perpetually, until it began almost to be believed that the four sisters had had fortunes left them by their aunt, whose name the family never mentioned in public but with the most tender gratitude and regard. I know no sort of lying which is more frequent in Vanity Fair than this; and it may be remarked how people who practise it take credit to themselves for their hypocrisy, and fancy that they are exceedingly virtuous and praiseworthy, because they are able to deceive the world with regard to the extent of their means.

  Mrs. Bute certainly thought herself one of the most virtuous women in England, and the sight of her happy family was an edifying one to strangers. They were so cheerful, so loving, so well-educated, so simple! Martha painted flowers exquisitely, and furnished half the charity-bazaars in the county. Emma was a regular County Bulbul,lw and her verses in the Hampshire Telegraph were the glory of its Poet‘s Corner. Fanny and Matilda sang duets together, mamma playing the piano, and the other two sisters sitting with their arms round each other‘s waists, and listening affectionately. Nobody saw the poor girls drumming at the duets in private. No one saw mamma drilling them rigidly hour after hour. In a word, Mrs. Bute put a good face against fortune, and kept up appearances in the most virtuous manner.

  Everything that a good and respectable mother could do Mrs. Bute did. She got over yachting men from Southampton, parsons from the Cathedral Close at Winchester, and officers from the barracks there. She tried to inveigle the young barristers at assizes,lx and encouraged Jim to bring home friends with whom he went out hunting with the H.H. What will not a mother do for the benefit of her beloved ones?

  Between such a woman and her brother-in-law, the odious baronet at the Hall, it is manifest that there could be very little in common. The rupture between Bute and his brother Sir Pitt was complete; indeed, between Sir Pitt and the whole county, to which the old man was a scandal. His dislike for respectable society increased with age, and the lodge-gates had not opened to a gentleman‘s carriage-wheels since Pitt and Lady Jane came to pay their visit of duty after their marriage.

  That was an awful and unfortunate visit, never to be thought of by the family without horror. Pitt begged his wife, with a ghastly countenance, never to speak of it; and it was only through Mrs. Bute herself, who still knew everything which took place at the Hall, that the circumstances of Sir Pitt‘s reception of his son and daughter-in-law were ever known at all.

  As they drove up the avenue of the park in their neat and well-appointed carriage, Pitt remarked with dismay and wrath great gaps among the trees—his trees,—which the old baronet was felling entirely without licence. The park wore an aspect of utter dreariness and ruin. The drives were ill kept, and the neat carriage splashed and foundered in muddy pools along the road. The great sweep in front of the terrace and entrance stair was black and covered with mosses; the once trim flower-beds rank and weedy. Shutters were up along almost the whole line of the house; the great hall-door was unbarred after much ringing of the bell; an individual in ribbons was seen flitting up the black oak stair, as Horrocks at length admitted the heir of Queen‘s Crawley and his bride into the halls of their fathers. He led the way into Sir Pitt‘s ‘Library‘, as it was called, the fumes of tobacco growing stronger as Pitt and Lady Jane approached that apartment. ‘Sir Pitt ain‘t very well,‘ Horrocks remarked apologetically, and hinted that his master was afflicted with lumbago.

  The library looked out on the front walk and park. Sir Pitt had opened one of the windows, and was bawling out thence to the postilion and Pitt‘s servant, who seemed to be about to take the baggage down.

  ‘Don‘t move none of them trunks,‘ he cried, pointing with a pipe which he held in his hand. ‘It‘s only a morning visit, Tucker, you fool. Lor, what cracks that off hoss has in his heels ! Ain‘t there no one at the ‘King‘s Head‘ to rub ‘em a little? How do, Pitt? How do, my dear? Come to see the old man, hey? Gad—you‘ve a pretty face, too. You ain‘t like that old horse-godmother, your mother. Come and give old Pitt a kiss, like a good little gal.‘

  The embrace disconcerted the daughter-in-law somewhat, as the caresses of the old gentleman, unshorn and perfumed with tobacco, might well do. But she remembered that her brother Southdown had moustachios, and smoked cigars, and submitted to the baronet with a tolerable grace.

  ‘Pitt has got vat,‘ said the baronet, after this mark of affection. ‘Does he read ee very long zermons, my dear? Hundredth Psalm, Evening Hymn—hey, Pitt? Go and get a glass of malmsey and a cake for my Lady Jane, Horrocks, you great big booby, and don‘t stand stearing there like a fat pig. I won‘t ask you to stop, my dear; you‘ll find it too stoopid, and so should I too along a Pitt. I‘m an old man now, and like my own ways, and my pipe and backgammon of a night.‘

  ‘I can play at backgammon, sir,‘ said Lady Jane, laughing. ‘I used to play with papa and Miss Crawley, didn‘t I, Mr. Crawley?‘

  ‘Lady Jane can play, sir, at the game to which you state that you are so partial,‘ Pitt said haughtily.

  ‘But she wawn‘t stop for all that. Naw, naw, goo back to Mudbury and give Mrs. Rincer a benefit: or drive down to the Rectory, and ask Buty for a dinner. He‘ll be charmed to see you, you know; he‘s so much obliged to you for gittin the old woman‘s money. Ha, ha! Some of it will do to patch up the Hall when I‘m gone.‘

  ‘I perceive, sir,‘ said Pitt, with a heightened voice, ‘that your people will cut down the timber.‘

  ‘Yees, yees, very fine weather, and seasonable for the time of year,‘ Sir Pitt answered, who had suddenly grown deaf. ‘But I‘m gittin old, Pitt, now. Law bless you, you ain‘t far from fifty yourself. But he wears well, my pretty Lady Jane, don‘t he? It‘s all godliness, sobriety, and a moral life. Look at me, I‘m not very fur from fowr-score—he, he;‘ and he laughed, and took snuff, and leered at her and pinched her hand.

  Pitt once more brought the conversation back to the timber; but the baronet was deaf again in an instant.