Vanity Fair (Barnes & Noble Classics Series)

by William Makepeace Thackeray

  SIR PITT‘S LAST STAGE

  At last a day came when the nurse‘s occupation was over. Early one morning as Pitt Crawley was at his steward‘s and bailiff‘s books in the study, a knock came to the door, and Hester presented herself dropping a curtsy, and said—

  ‘If you please, Sir Pitt, Sir Pitt died this morning, Sir Pitt. I was a-making of his toast, Sir Pitt, for his gruel, Sir Pitt, which he took every morning reglar at six, Sir Pitt, and—I thought I heard a moan like, Sir Pitt—and—and—and—‘ She dropped another curtsy.

  What was it that made Pitt‘s pale face flush quite red? Was it because he was Sir Pitt at last, with a seat in Parliament, and perhaps future honours in prospect? ‘I‘ll clear the estate now with the ready money,‘ he thought, and rapidly calculated its incumbrances and the improvements which he would make. He would not use his aunt‘s money previously lest Sir Pitt should recover and his outlay be in vain.

  All the blinds were pulled down at the Hall and Rectory: the church bell was tolled, and the chancel hung in black; and Bute Crawley didn‘t go to a coursing meeting, but went and dined quietly at Fuddlestone, where they talked about his deceased brother and young Sir Pitt over their port. Miss Betsy, who was by this time married to a saddler at Mudbury, cried a good deal. The family surgeon rode over and paid his respectful compliments, and inquiries for the health of their ladyships. The death was talked about at Mudbury and at the ‘Crawley Arms‘; the landlord whereof had become reconciled with the rector of late, who was occasionally known to step into the parlour and taste Mr. Horrocks‘s mild beer.

  ‘Shall I write to your brother—or will you?‘ asked Lady Jane of her husband, Sir Pitt.

  ‘I will write, of course,‘ Sir Pitt said, ‘and invite him to the funeral: it will be but becoming.‘

  ‘And—and—Mrs. Rawdon,‘ said Lady Jane, timidly.

  ‘Jane!‘ said Lady Southdown, ‘how can you think of such a thing?‘

  ‘Mrs. Rawdon must of course be asked,‘ said Sir Pitt resolutely.

  ‘Not whilst I am in the house !‘ said Lady Southdown.

  ‘Your ladyship will be pleased to recollect that I am the head of this family,‘ Sir Pitt replied. ‘If you please, Lady Jane, you will write a letter to Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, requesting her presence upon this melancholy occasion.‘

  ‘Jane, I forbid you to put pen to paper!‘ cried the countess.

  ‘I believe I am the head of this family,‘ Sir Pitt repeated; ‘and however much I may regret any circumstance which may lead to your ladyship quitting this house, must, if you please, continue to govern it as I see fit.‘

  Lady Southdown rose up as magnificent as Mrs. Siddonsma in Lady Macbeth, and ordered that horses might be put to her carriage. If her son and daughter turned her out of their house, she would hide her sorrows somewhere in loneliness, and pray for their conversion to better thoughts.

  ‘We don‘t turn you out of our house, mamma,‘ said the timid Lady Jane, imploringly.

  ‘You invite such company to it as no Christian lady should meet, and I will have my horses to-morrow morning.‘

  ‘Have the goodness to write, Jane, under my dictation,‘ said Sir Pitt, rising, and throwing himself into an attitude of command, like the Portrait of a Gentleman in the Exhibition,mb ‘and begin. “Queen‘s Crawley, September 14, 1822.—My dear brother—” ‘

  Hearing these decisive and terrible words, Lady Macbeth, who had been waiting for a sign of weakness or vacillation on the part of her son-in-law, rose, and with a scared look, left the library. Lady Jane looked up to her husband, as if she would fain follow and soothe her mamma; but Pitt forbade his wife to move.

  ‘She won‘t go away,‘ he said. ‘She has let her house at Brighton and has spent her last half-year‘s dividends. A countess living at an inn is a ruined woman. I have been waiting long for an opportunity to take this—this decisive step, my love; for, as you must perceive, it is impossible that there should be two chiefs in a family: and now, if you please, we will resume the dictation. “My dear brother, the melancholy intelligence which it is my duty to convey to my family must have long been anticipated by,” ‘ &c.

  In a word, Pitt having come to his kingdom, and having by good luck, or desert rather, as he considered, assumed almost all the fortune which his other relatives had expected, was determined to treat his family kindly and respectably, and make a house of Queen‘s Crawley once more. It pleased him to think that he should be its chief. He proposed to use the vast influence that his commanding talents and position must speedily acquire for him in the county to get his brother placed and his cousins decently provided for, and perhaps had a little sting of repentance as he thought that he was the proprietor of all that they had hoped for. In the course of three or four days‘ reign his bearing was changed, and his plans quite fixed: he determined to rule justly and honestly, to depose Lady Southdown, and to be on the friendliest possible terms with all the relations of his blood.

  So he dictated a letter to his brother Rawdon—a solemn and elaborate letter, containing the profoundest observations, couched in the longest words, and filling with wonder the simple little secretary, who wrote under her husband‘s order. ‘What an orator this will be,‘ thought she, ‘when he enters the House of Commons‘ (on which point, and on the tyranny of Lady Southdown, Pitt had sometimes dropped hints to his wife in bed); ‘how wise and good, and what a genius my husband is! I fancied him a little cold; but how good, and what a genius!‘

  The fact is, Pitt Crawley had got every word of the letter by heart, and had studied it with diplomatic secrecy, deeply and perfectly, long before he thought fit to communicate it to his astonished wife.

  This letter, with a huge black border and seal, was accordingly dispatched by Sir Pitt Crawley to his brother the colonel, in London. Rawdon Crawley was but half-pleased at the receipt of it. ‘What‘s the use of going down to that stupid place?‘ thought he. ‘I can‘t stand being alone with Pitt after dinner, and horses there and back will cost us twenty pound.‘

  He carried the letter, as he did all difficulties, to Becky, upstairs in her bedroom—with her chocolate, which he always made and took to her of a morning.

  He put the tray with the breakfast and the letter on the dressing-table, before which Becky sat combing her yellow hair. She took up the black-edged missive, and having read it, she jumped up from the chair, crying ‘Hurray!‘ and waving the note round her head.

  ‘Hurray?‘ said Rawdon, wondering at the little figure capering about in a streaming flannel dressing-gown, with tawny locks dishevelled. ‘He‘s not left us anything, Becky. I had my share when I came of age.‘

  ‘You‘ll never be of age, you silly old man,‘ Becky replied. ‘Run out now to Madam Brunoy‘s, for I must have some mourning: and get a crape on your hat, and a black waistcoat—I don‘t think you‘ve got one; order it to be brought home to-morrow, so that we may be able to start on Thursday.‘

  ‘You don‘t mean to go?‘ Rawdon interposed.

  ‘Of course I mean to go. I mean that Lady Jane shall present me at Court next year. I mean that your brother shall give you a seat in Parliament, you stupid old creature. I mean that Lord Steyne shall have your vote and his, my dear, old, silly man; and that you shall be an Irish Secretary, or a West Indian Governor: or a Treasurer, or a Consul, or some such thing.‘

  ‘Posting will cost a dooce of a lot of money,‘ grumbled Rawdon.

  ‘We might take Southdown‘s carriage, which ought to be present at the funeral, as he is a relation of the family: but, no—I intend that we shall go by the coach. They‘ll like it better. It seems more humble—‘

  ‘Rawdy goes of course?‘ the colonel asked.

  ‘No such thing; why pay an extra place? He‘s too big to travel bodkin between you and me. Let him stay here in the nursery, and Briggs can make him a black frock. Go you: and do as I bid you. And you had best tell Sparks, your man, that old Sir Pitt is dead, and that you will come in for something considerable when the affairs are
arranged. He‘ll tell this to Raggles, who has been pressing for money, and it will console poor Raggles.‘ And so Becky began sipping her chocolate.

  When the faithful Lord Steyne arrived in the evening, he found Becky and her companion, who was no other than our friend Briggs, busy cutting, ripping, snipping, and tearing all sorts of black stuffs available for the melancholy occasion.

  ‘Miss Briggs and I are plunged in grief and despondency for the death of our papa,‘ Rebecca said. ‘Sir Pitt Crawley is dead, my lord. We have been tearing our hair all the morning, and now we are tearing up our old clothes.‘

  ‘Oh, Rebecca, how can you—‘ was all that Briggs could say as she turned up her eyes.

  ‘Oh, Rebecca, how can you—‘ echoed my lord. ‘So that old scoundrel‘s dead, is he? He might have been a peer if he had played his cards better. Mr. Pitt had very nearly made him; but he ratted always at the wrong time. What an old Silenus it was.‘

  ‘I might have been Silenus‘s widow,‘ said Rebecca. ‘Don‘t you remember, Miss Briggs, how you peeped in at the door, and saw old Sir Pitt on his knees to me?‘ Miss Briggs, our old friend, blushed very much at this reminiscence ; and was glad when Lord Steyne ordered her to go downstairs and make him a cup of tea.

  Briggs was the house-dog whom Rebecca had provided as guardian of her innocence and reputation. Miss Crawley had left her a little annuity. She would have been content to remain in the Crawley family with Lady Jane, who was good to her and to everybody; but Lady Southdown dismissed poor Briggs as quickly as decency permitted; and Mr. Pitt (who thought himself much injured by the uncalled-for generosity of his deceased relative towards a lady who had only been Miss Crawley‘s faithful retainer a score of years) made no objections to that exercise of the dowager‘s authority. Bowls and Firkin likewise received their legacies, and their dismissals; and married and set up a lodging-house, according to the custom of their kind.

  Briggs tried to live with her relations in the country, but found that attempt was vain after the better society to which she had been accustomed. Briggs‘s friends, small tradesmen in a country town, quarrelled over Miss Briggs‘s forty pounds a year, as eagerly and more openly than Miss Crawley‘s kinsfolk had for that lady‘s inheritance. Briggs‘s brother, a Radical hatter and grocer, called his sister a purse-proud aristocrat, because she would not advance a part of her capital to stock his shop: and she would have done so most likely, but that their sister, a Dissenting shoemaker‘s lady, at variance with the hatter and grocer who went to another chapel, showed how their brother was on the verge of bankruptcy, and. took possession of Briggs for a while. The Dissenting shoemaker wanted Miss Briggs to send his son to college, and make a gentleman of him. Between them the two families got a great portion of her private savings out of her: and finally she fled to London followed by the anathemas of both, and determined to seek for servitude again as infinitely less onerous than liberty. And advertising in the papers that a ‘Gentlewoman of agreeable manners, and accustomed to the best society, was anxious to,‘ &c., she took up her residence with Mr. Bowls in Half Moon Street, and waited the result of the advertisement.

  So it was that she fell in with Rebecca. Mrs. Rawdon‘s dashing little carriage and ponies was whirling down the street one day, just as Miss Briggs, fatigued, had reached Mr. Bowls‘s door, after a weary walk to the Times office in the City, to insert her advertisement for the sixth time. Rebecca was driving, and at once recognized the gentlewoman with agreeable manners, and being a perfectly good-humoured woman, as we have seen, and having a regard for Briggs, she pulled up the ponies at the doorsteps, gave the reins to the groom, and jumping out had hold of both Briggs‘s hands, before she of the agreeable manners had recovered from the shock of seeing an old friend.

  Briggs cried, and Becky laughed a great deal, and kissed the gentlewoman as soon as they got into the passage; and thence into Mrs. Bowls‘s front parlour, with the red moreen curtains, and the round looking-glass, with the chained eagle above, gazing upon the back of the ticket in the window which announced ‘Apartments to Let‘.

  Briggs told all her history amidst those perfectly uncalled-for sobs and ejaculations of wonder with which women of her soft nature salute an old acquaintance, or regard a rencontre in the street; for though people meet other people every day, yet some there are who insist upon discovering miracles; and women, even though they have disliked each other, begin to cry when they meet, deploring and remembering the time when they last quarrelled. So, in a word, Briggs told all her history, and Becky gave a narrative of her own life, with her usual artlessness and candour.

  Mrs. Bowls, late Firkin, came and listened grimly in the passage to the hysterical sniffling and giggling which went on in the front parlour. Becky had never been a favourite of hers. Since the establishment of the married couple in London they had frequented their former friends of the house of Raggles, and did not like the latter‘s account of the colonel‘s ménage. ‘I wouldn‘t trust him, Ragg, my boy,‘ Bowls remarked: and his wife, when Mrs. Rawdon issued from the parlour, only saluted the lady with a very sour curtsy; and her fingers were like so many sausages, cold and lifeless, when she held them out in deference to Mrs. Rawdon, who persisted in shaking hands with the retired lady‘s-maid. She whirled away into Piccadilly, nodding, with the sweetest of smiles towards Miss Briggs, who hung nodding at the window close under the advertisement-card, and at the next moment was in the Park with a half-dozen of dandies cantering after her carriage.

  When she found how her friend was situated, and how having a snug legacy from Miss Crawley, salary was no object to our gentlewoman, Becky instantly formed some benevolent little domestic plans concerning her. This was just such a companion as would suit her establishment, and she invited Briggs to come to dinner with her that very evening, when she should see Becky‘s dear little darling Rawdon.

  Mrs. Bowls cautioned her lodger against venturing into the lion‘s den, ‘wherein you will rue it, Miss B., mark my words, and as sure as my name is Bowls.‘ And Briggs promised to be very cautious. The upshot of which caution was that she went to live with Mrs. Rawdon the next week, and had lent Rawdon Crawley six hundred pounds upon annuitymc before six more months were over.

  CHAPTER XLI

  In Which Becky Revisits the Halls of Her Ancestors

  S o the mourning being ready, and Sir Pitt Crawley warned of their arrival, Colonel Crawley and his wife took a couple of places in the same old ‘Highflyer‘ coach, by which Rebecca had travelled in the defunct baronet‘s company, on her first journey into the world some nine years before. How well she remembered the inn yard, and the ostler to whom she refused money, and the insinuating Cambridge lad who wrapped her in his coat on the journey! Rawdon took his place outside, and would have liked to drive, but his grief forbade him. He sat by the coachman, and talked about horses and the road the whole way; and who kept the inns, and who horsed the coach by which he had travelled so many a time, when he and Pitt were boys going to Eton. At Mudbury a carriage and a pair of horses received them, with a coachman in black. ‘It‘s the old drag, Rawdon,‘ Rebecca said, as they got in. ‘The worms have eaten the cloth a good deal—there‘s the stain which Sir Pitt—ha! I see Dawson the ironmonger has his shutters up—which Sir Pitt made such a noise about. It was a bottle of cherry brandy he broke which we went to fetch for your aunt from Southampton. How time flies, to be sure! that can‘t be Polly Talboys, that bouncing girl standing by her mother at the cottage there. I remember her a mangy little urchin picking weeds in the garden.‘

  ‘Fine gal,‘ said Rawdon, returning the salute which the cottage gave him, by two fingers applied to his crape hatband. Becky bowed and saluted, and recognized people here and there graciously. These recogni- tions were inexpressibly pleasant to her. It seemed as if she was not an impostor any more, and was coming to the home of her ancestors. Rawdon was rather abashed, and cast down on the other hand. What recollections of boyhood and innocence might have been flitting across his brain? What pangs of
dim remorse and doubt and shame?

  ‘Your sisters must be young women now,‘ Rebecca said, thinking of those girls for the first time perhaps since she had left them.

  ‘Don‘t know, I‘m shaw,‘ replied the colonel. ‘Hullo! here‘s old Mother Lock. How-dy-do, Mrs. Lock? Remember me, don‘t you? Master Rawdon, hey? Dammy, how those old women last; she was a hundred when I was a boy.‘

  They were going through the lodge-gates kept by old Mrs. Lock, whose hand Rebecca insisted upon shaking, as she flung open the creaking old iron gate, and the carriage passed between the two moss-grown pillars surmounted by the dove and serpent.

  ‘The governor has cut into the timber,‘ Rawdon said, looking about, and then was silent—so was Becky. Both of them were rather agitated, and thinking of old times. He about Eton, and his mother, whom he remembered, a frigid demure woman, and a sister who died, of whom he had been passionately fond; and how he used to thrash Pitt; and about little Rawdy at home. And Rebecca thought about her own youth, and the dark secrets of those early tainted days; and of her entrance into life by yonder gates; and of Miss Pinkerton, and Joe, and Amelia.

  The gravel walk and terrace had been scraped quite clean. A grand painted hatchment was already over the great entrance, and two very solemn and tall personages in black flung open each a leaf of the door as the carriage pulled up at the familiar steps. Rawdon turned red, and Becky somewhat pale, as they passed through the old hall, arm in arm. She pinched her husband‘s arm as they entered the oak parlour, where Sir Pitt and his wife were ready to receive them. Sir Pitt in black, Lady Jane in black, and my Lady Southdown with a large black head-piece of buglesmd and feathers, which waved on her ladyship‘s head like an undertaker‘s tray.

  Sir Pitt had judged correctly, that she would not quit the premises. She contented herself by preserving a solemn and stony silence, when in company of Pitt and his rebellious wife, and by frightening the children in the nursery by the ghastly gloom of her demeanour. Only a very faint bending of the head-dress and plumes welcomed Rawdon and his wife, as those prodigals returned to their family.