Vanity Fair (Barnes & Noble Classics Series)

by William Makepeace Thackeray

  Lady Mary Caerlyon was brought up at a Parisian convent; the Dauphi ness Marie Antoinette was her godmother. In the pride of her beauty she had been married—sold, it was said—to Lord Gaunt, then at Paris, who won vast sums from the lady‘s brother at some of Philip of Orleans‘s banquets. The Earl of Gaunt‘s famous duel with the Count de la Marche, of the Grey Musqueteers, was attributed by common report to the pretensions of that officer (who had been a page, and remained a favourite of the Queen) to the hand of the beautiful Lady Mary Caerlyon. She was married to Lord Gaunt while the count lay ill of his wound, and came to dwell at Gaunt House, and to figure for a short time in the splendid Court of the Prince of Wales. Fox had toasted her. Morris and Sheridan had written songs about her. Malmsbury had made her his best bow; Walpole had pronounced her charming; Devonshire had been almost jealous of her; but she was scared by the wild pleasures and gaieties of the society into which she was flung, and after she had borne a couple of sons, shrank away into a life of devout seclusion. No wonder that my Lord Steyne, who liked pleasure and cheerfulness, was not often seen after their marriage, by the side of this trembling, silent, superstitious, unhappy lady.24

  The before-mentioned Tom Eaves (who has no part in this history, except that he knew all the great folks in London, and the stories and mysteries of each family) had further information regarding my Lady Steyne, which may or may not be true. ‘The humiliations,‘ Tom used to say, ‘which that woman has been made to undergo, in her own house, have been frightful; Lord Steyne has made her sit down to table with women with whom I would rather die than allow Mrs. Eaves to associate—with Lady Crackenbury, with Mrs. Chippenham, with Madame de la Cruchecassée, the French secretary‘s wife‘ (from every one of which ladies Tom Eaves—who would have sacrificed his wife for knowing them—was too glad to get a bow or a dinner), ‘with the reigning favourite, in a word. And do you suppose that that woman, of that family, who are as proud as the Bourbons, and to whom the Steynes are but lackeys, mushrooms of yesterday (for after all, they are not of the old Gaunts, but of a minor and doubtful branch of the house); do you suppose, I say‘ (the reader must bear in mind that it is always Tom Eaves who speaks), ‘that the Marchioness of Steyne, the haughtiest woman in England, would bend down to her husband so submissively, if there were not some cause? Pooh! I tell you there are secret reasons. I tell you, that in the emigration, the Abbé de la Marche who was here and was employed in the Quiberoon business with Puisaye and Tinteniac, was the same colonel of Mousquetaires Gris with whom Steyne fought in the year ‘86—that he and the marchioness met again: that it was after the reverend colonel was shot in Brittany, that Lady Steyne took to those extreme practices of devotion which she carries on now: for she is closeted with her director every day—she is at service at Spanish Place, every morning, I‘ve watched her there—that is, I‘ve happened to be passing there—and depend on it there‘s a mystery in her case. People are not so unhappy unless they have something to repent of,‘ added Tom Eaves with a knowing wag of his head; ‘and depend on it, that woman would not be so submissive as she is, if the marquis had not some sword to hold over her.‘

  So, if Mr. Eaves‘s information be correct, it is very likely that this lady, in her high station, had to submit to many a private indignity, and to hide many secret griefs under a calm face. And let us, my brethren who have not our names in the Red Book,nr console ourselves by thinking comfortably how miserable our betters may be, and that Damocles, who sits on satin cushions, and is served on gold plate, has an awful sword hanging over his head in the shape of a bailiff, or an hereditary disease, or a family secret, which peep out every now and then from the embroidered arras in a ghastly manner, and will be sure to drop one day or the other in the right place.ns

  In comparing, too, the poor man‘s situation with that of the great, there is (always according to Mr. Eaves) another source of comfort for the former. You who have little or no patrimony to bequeath or to inherit, may be on good terms with your father or your son, whereas the heir of a great prince, such as my Lord Steyne, must naturally be angry at being kept out of his kingdom, and eye the occupant of it with no very agreeable glances. ‘Take it as a rule,‘ this sardonic old Eaves, would say, ‘the fathers and elder sons of all great families hate each other. The crown prince is always in opposition to the crown or hankering after it. Shakespeare knew the world, my good sir, and when he describes Prince Hal (from whose family the Gaunts pretend to be descended, though they are no more related to John of Gaunt than you are) trying on his father‘s coronet, he gives you a natural description of all heirs-apparent. If you were heir to a dukedom and a thousand pounds a day, do you mean to say you would not wish for possession? Pooh! And it stands to reason that every great man having experienced this feeling towards his father, must be aware that his son entertains it towards himself; and so they can‘t but be suspicious and hostile.

  ‘Then again, as to the feeling of elder towards younger sons. My dear sir, you ought to know that every elder brother looks upon the cadets of the house as his natural enemies, who deprive him of so much ready money which ought to be his by right. I have often heard George Mac-Turk, Lord Bajazet‘s eldest son, say that if he had his will when he came to the title, he would do what the sultans do, and clear the estate by chopping off all his younger brothers‘ heads at once; and so the case is, more or less, with them all. I tell you they are all Turks in their hearts. Pooh! sir, they know the world.‘ And here, haply a great man coming up, Tom Eaves‘s hat would drop off his head, and he would rush forward with a bow and a grin, which showed that he knew the world too—in the Tomeavesian way, that is. And having laid out every shilling of his fortune on an annuity, Tom could afford to bear no malice to his nephews and nieces, and to have no other feeling with regard to his betters, but a constant and generous desire to dine with them.

  Between the marchioness and the natural and tender regard of mother for children, there was that cruel barrier placed of difference of faith. The very love which she might feel for her sons, only served to render the timid and pious lady more fearful and unhappy. The gulf which separated them was fatal and impassable. She could not stretch her weak arms across it, or draw her children over to that side away from which her belief told her there was no safety. During the youth of his sons, Lord Steyne, who was a good scholar and amateur casuist, had no better sport in the evening after dinner in the country than in setting the boys‘ tutor, the Reverend Mr. Trail (now my Lord Bishop of Ealing), on her ladyship‘s director, Father Mole, over their wine, and in putting Oxford against St. Acheul.nt He cried, ‘Bravo, Latimer! Well said, Loyola!‘nu alternately; he promised Mole a bishopric if he would come over; and vowed he would use all his influence to get Trail a cardinal‘s hat if he would secede. Neither divine allowed himself to be conquered; and though the fond mother hoped that her youngest and favourite son would be reconciled to her Church—his mother Church—a sad and awful disappointment awaited the devout lady—a disappointment which seemed to be a judgement upon her for the sin of her marriage.

  My Lord Gaunt married, as every person who frequents the Peerage knows, the Lady Blanche Thistlewood, a daughter of the noble house of Bareacres, before mentioned in this veracious history. A wing of Gaunt House was assigned to this couple; for the head of the family chose to govern it, and while he reigned to reign supreme: his son and heir, however, living little at home, disagreeing with his wife, borrowing upon post-obits such moneys as he required beyond the very moderate sums which his father was disposed to allow him. The marquis knew every shilling of his son‘s debts. At his lamented demise, he was found himself to be possessor of many of his heir‘s bonds, purchased for their benefit, and devised by his lordship to the children of his younger son.

  As, to my Lord Gaunt‘s dismay, and the chuckling delight of his natural enemy and father, the Lady Gaunt had no children—the Lord George Gaunt was desired to return from Vienna, where he was engaged in waltz ing and diplomacy, and to contract a matrimonial all
iance with the Honourable Joan, only daughter of John Johnes, First Baron Helvellyn, and head of the firm of Jones, Brown, and Robinson, of Threadneedle Street, Bankers; from which union sprang several sons and daughters, whose doings do not appertain to this story.

  The marriage at first was a happy and prosperous one. My Lord George Gaunt could not only read, but write pretty correctly. He spoke French with considerable fluency; and was one of the finest waltzers in Europe. With these talents, and his interests at home, there was little doubt that his lordship would rise to the highest dignities in his profession. The lady, his wife, felt that courts were her sphere; and her wealth enabled her to receive splendidly in those Continental towns whither her husband‘s diplomatic duties led him. There was talk of appointing him minister, and bets were laid at the Travellers‘nv that he would be ambassador ere long, when of a sudden, rumours arrived of the secretary‘s extraordinary behaviour. At a grand diplomatic dinner given by his chief, he had started up, and declared that a pâté de foie gras was poisoned. He went to a ball at the hotel of the Bavarian envoy, the Count de Springbock-Hohenlaufen, with his head shaved, and dressed as a Capuchin friar. It was not a masked ball, as some folks wanted to persuade you. It was something queer, people whispered. His grandfather was so. It was in the family.

  His wife and family returned to this country, and took up their abode at Gaunt House. Lord George gave up his post on the European Continent, and was gazetted to Brazil. But people knew better; he never returned from that Brazil expedition—never died there—never lived there—never was there at all. He was nowhere: he was gone out altogether. ‘Brazil,‘ said one gossip to another, with a grin—‘Brazil is St. John‘s Wood. Rio Janeiro is a cottage surrounded by four walls; and George Gaunt is accredited to a keeper, who has invested him with the order of the Strait Waistcoat.‘ These are the kinds of epitaphs which men pass over one another in Vanity Fair.

  Twice or thrice in a week, in the earliest morning, the poor mother went for her sins and saw the poor invalid. Sometimes he laughed at her (and his laughter was more pitiful than to hear him cry); sometimes she found the brilliant dandy diplomatist of the Congress of Vienna dragging about a child‘s toy, or nursing the keeper‘s baby‘s doll. Sometimes he knew her and Father Mole, her director and companion: oftener he forgot her, as he had done wife, children, love, ambition, vanity. But he remembered his dinner-hour, and used to cry if his wine-and-water was not strong enough.

  It was the mysterious taint of the blood: the poor mother had brought it from her own ancient race. The evil had broken out once or twice in the father‘s family, long before Lady Steyne‘s sins had begun, or her fasts and tears and penances had been offered in their expiation. The pride of the race was struck down as the firstborn of Pharaoh.nw The dark mark of fate and doom was on the threshold,—the tall old threshold surmounted by coronets and carved heraldry.

  The absent lord‘s children meanwhile prattled and grew on quite unconscious that the doom was over them too. First they talked of their father, and devised plans against his return. Then the name of the living dead man was less frequently in their mouths—then not mentioned at all. But the stricken old grandmother trembled to think that these too were the in heritors of their father‘s shame as well as of his honours: and watched sickening for the day when the awful ancestral curse should come down on them.

  This dark presentiment also haunted Lord Steyne. He tried to lay the horrid bedside ghost in Red Seas of wine and jollity, and lost sight of it sometimes in the crowd and rout of his pleasures. But it always came back to him when alone, and seemed to grow more threatening with years. ‘I have taken your son,‘ it said, ‘why not you? I may shut you up in a prison some day like your son George. I may tap you on the head to-morrow, and away go pleasure and honours, feasts and beauty, friends, flatterers, French cooks, fine horses and houses—in exchange for a prison, a keeper, and a straw mattress like George Gaunt‘s.‘ And then my lord would defy the ghost which threatened him: for he knew of a remedy by which he could balk his enemy.

  So there was splendour and wealth, but no great happiness perchance behind the tall carved portals of Gaunt House with its smoky coronets and ciphers. The feasts there were of the grandest in London, but there was not over-much content therewith, except among the guests who sat at my lord‘s table. Had he not been so great a prince very few possibly would have visited him: but in Vanity Fair the sins of very great personages are looked at indulgently. ‘Nous regardons à deux fois‘nx (as the French lady said) before we condemn a person of my lord‘s undoubted quality. Some notorious carpers and squeamish moralists might be sulky with Lord Steyne, but they were glad enough to come when he asked them.

  ‘Lord Steyne is really too bad,‘ Lady Slingstone said, ‘but everybody goes, and of course I shall see that my girls come to no harm.‘ ‘His lordship is a man to whom I owe much, everything in life,‘ said the Right Reverend Doctor Trail, thinking that the archbishop was rather shaky; and Mrs. Trail and the young ladies would as soon have missed going to church as to one of his lordship‘s parties. ‘His morals are bad,‘ said little Lord Southdown to his sister, who meekly expostulated, having heard terrific legends from her mamma with respect to the doings at Gaunt House; ‘but hang it, he‘s got the best dry silleryny in Europe!‘ And as for Sir Pitt Crawley, Bart.—Sir Pitt that pattern of decorum, Sir Pitt who had led off at missionary meetings,—he never for one moment thought of not going too. ‘Where you see such persons as the Bishop of Ealing and the Countess of Slingstone, you may be pretty sure, Jane,‘ the baronet would say, ‘that we cannot be wrong. The great rank and station of Lord Steyne put him in a position to command people in our station in life. The lord lieutenant of a county, my dear, is a respectable man. Besides George Gaunt and I were intimate in early life: he was my junior when we were attaches at Pumpernickel together.‘

  In a word everybody went to wait upon this great man—everybody who was asked: as you the reader (do not say nay) or I the writer hereof would go if we had an invitation.

  CHAPTER XLVIII

  In Which the Reader Is Introduced to the Very Best of Company

  At last Becky‘s kindness and attention to the chief of her husband‘s family, were destined to meet with an exceeding great reward; a reward which, though certainly somewhat unsubstantial, the little woman coveted with greater eagerness than more positive benefits. If she did not wish to lead a virtuous life, at least she desired to enjoy a character for virtue, and we know that no lady in the genteel world can possess this desideratum, until she has put on a train and feathers, and has been presented to her sovereign at Court. From that august interview they come out stamped as honest women. The lord chamberlain gives them a certificate of virtue. And as dubious goods or letters are passed through an oven at quarantine, sprinkled with aromatic vinegar, and then pronounced clean—many a lady whose reputation would be doubtful otherwise and liable to give infection, passes through the wholesome ordeal of the royal presence, and issues from it free from all taint.

  It might be very well for my Lady Bareacres, my Lady Tufto, Mrs. Bute Crawley in the country, and other ladies who had come into contact with Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, to cry fie at the idea of the odious little adventuress making her curtsy before the sovereign, and to declare, that if dear good Queen Charlottenz had been alive, she never would have admitted such an extremely ill-regulated personage into Her chaste Drawing-room. But when we consider, that it was the First Gentleman in Europeoa in whose high presence Mrs. Rawdon passed her examination, and as it were, took her degree in reputation, it surely must be flat disloyalty to doubt any more about her virtue. I, for my part, look back with love and awe to that Great Character in history. Ah, what a high and noble appreciation of Gentlewomanhood there must have been in Vanity Fair, when that revered and august being was invested, by the universal acclaim of the refined and educated portion of this empire, with the title of Premier Gen tilhomme of his Kingdom. Do you remember, dear M—, O friend of my youth, how on
e blissful night five-and-twenty years since, The Hypocrite being acted, Elliston being manager, Dowton and Liston performers, two boys had leave from their loyal masters to go out from Slaughter House School where they were educated, and to appear on Drury Lane stage, amongst a crowd which assembled there to greet the King. THE KING? There he was. Beef-eatersob were before the august box: the Marquis of Steyne (Lord of the Powder Closet) and other great officers of state were behind the chair on which he sat, He sat—florid of face, portly of person, covered with orders, and in a rich curling head of hair—How we sang God save him! How the house rocked and shouted with that magnificent music. How they cheered, and cried, and waved handkerchiefs. Ladies wept: mothers clasped their children: some fainted with emotion. People were suffocated in the pit, shrieks and groans rising up amidst the writhing and shouting mass there of his people who were, and indeed showed themselves almost to be, ready to die for him. Yes, we saw him. Fate cannot deprive us of that. Others have seen Napoleon. Some few still exist who have beheld Frederick the Great, Doctor Johnson, Marie Antoinette, &c.—be it our reasonable boast to our children, that we saw George the Good, the Magnificent, the Great.