by Eva Delaney
Now that I was accepting what I already knew but had tried to squash—the reason why he called me cupcake…. Now that I knew it wouldn’t hurt Orion, now that Orion had shown me that I deserved love, I could accept that Hamal might care for me too.
“Cali,” Orion said, pulling me against him and nestling his face in my neck. “Love whoever you love. Just as long as you always come back to me.”
Chapter 35
“Po?”
The antechamber stood empty, except for a tablet sitting on the bench.
I glanced back into the bedroom where the other men waited—all of them except for Polaris.
A cold dread, colder than an ice ball orbiting a dead star, grew in my gut and chest.
He was gone.
The cold ache filled my blood as though I fell through ice. I had felt the same way when Orion left.
I touched a finger to the tablet to wake it up. Polaris was rarely without a computer or ship engine or something mechanical. The tablet was his lifeline here.
And he left it.
The screen glowed to life. On one side ran camera feeds in tiny boxes from nearby. He had left us a source of safety and gone without it for himself. Even now, he was trying to help.
I could barely see for the tears blurring my eyes.
Polaris had been a steady presence in my life for three years. Now, as soon as I accepted that I loved him, he left just like Ori had.
Orion shifted behind me. “Cali, are we going after Polaris?”
“No,” I said with a sigh. “It’s time to let him go. He has a life here with Ursa. He was never meant for dangerous missions and rough, jagged assholes like us. He finally realized that.”
Orion was silent for a moment. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
I blinked. “The hell is wrong with you?”
“That guy is clearly head over heels for you and has been since I arrived at Star Keeper. He didn’t leave because he doesn’t want you. He left because he thought you didn’t want him.”
I stared at Orion, my mouth falling open. Shit. He was right. I assumed Polaris didn’t love me, the same as I had with Orion. I was wrong then, maybe I was wrong now.
“You love Polaris, clearly,” Orion said. “So, go find him.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I almost made the same mistake all over again.
I took a deep breath and cupped Orion’s face. It was rough under my palm with a couple days of scruff, and I kissed him. His lips were warm and welcoming.
We wouldn’t make the same mistakes this time.
“Let’s tell the others and go find Po,” I said. “Then we’ll figure out a way to burn the Supremacy to the ground.”
I led Orion back to the bedroom, squeezing his hand.
“What the hell is going on?” Rux snapped. “This asshole won’t tell us a thing.” He jerked a thumb at Antares, who leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. He shrugged lazily and gazed down at Mr. Pancake sleeping on his boot.
I smiled at Antares. Yet again, he had kept my secrets and remained silent about my fuck-ups.
“The concussion healing nanos haven’t had time to do their job yet,” Hamal said. “We have to be gentle with him.”
Antares snorted. “I sure hope not.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Rux muttered. “Where’s Polaris?”
“Gone,” I said.
I didn’t want to tell them that I had lost Winter and their place in The Uprising—the only place they belonged since leaving their homeworlds— but they had a right to know.
Maybe, just maybe, these men wouldn’t turn on me because of it.
“Castor framed us,” I finally admitted to my crew. “On Vinera, he sent the Firebrand back to Star Keeper with a message of thanks for turning over Winters. Bringing back the spy safely would prove our loyalty, but—”
“You lost her,” Rux grumbled. “I fucking knew it.”
I winced.
“Start from the beginning,” Hamal said.
I glanced at Orion. He squeezed my hand and I turned to the team and told them the truth—the full truth of how Castor framed us and I lost Winters.
“Now Polaris is gone too,” I finished. “I think he’s returned to his sister in case Castor and Queen Asherah are coming for her. With Castor following us….” I swallowed a lump in my throat. “We might have led the Supremacy right to Ursa and Major.”
“If you hadn’t told Lady Camilla where we were going, Castor wouldn’t be here,” Rux snarled at Antares.
“Let him be; he’s healing,” Hamal said.
Antares didn’t seem worried about that because as usual, he hit back. “If I hadn’t told her, we would have arrived here a week from now. Too late to know Winters had been captured or what ship she left on.”
“Unless Castor tipped off that bounty hunter who captured Winters,” I said, eyeing him. “What did Prince Douchebag say to you?”
“He talked to me while I was punching him in the face,” Antares said, his tone and expression remained calm. “He didn’t say anything that mattered.”
“It looked like it mattered to you.” I glared at him.
“Let’s stick to the urgent topic,” Hamal said. “How do we find Polaris? How do we track Winters?”
I ran a hand over my face. “I don’t think we can track her. If only….”
“What ifs are a way to torture yourself,” Hamal said. “Look to the horizon instead.”
“What ifs are how you learn,” Rux snapped. “We would have been here in time to rescue Winters if Trix hadn’t detoured to Vinera.”
I glared at him because he was right. This was my fault, but I didn’t want to admit that to Rux.
“Don’t you put all this on Cali,” Orion said. “You didn’t rescue Winters. You haven’t done anything useful.”
“I’m the only one here with sense,” Rux said. “You’re too busy being lovesick to pay attention to what’s really fucking going on.”
Hamal stepped between them, hands raised with his palms outward.
“It’s no one’s fault,” he said, meeting my gaze with his kind brown ones. For once, I held his gaze and let the flush creep up my neck.
“The battle is lost, but not the war; not as long as we’re fighting together rather than against each other,” Hamal added.
“But that’s our specialty,” Antares said dryly.
“You’re right, Hamal,” I said. “We can still do some good here. First, we track Polaris, and then we take down Queen Asherah Doug.” She had hurt Polaris, so I was going to fuck her up. “We can trade her for Winters or capture the Ansible Hub and cut off the Supremacy’s communications.”
“Fuck yeah,” Antares said. “This is why I like you, Firebrand.”
Rux grunted. “Finally, something reasonable.”
I smiled at each of them. Even though I had fucked up, they wanted to fight by my side still.
“Whether Polaris wants to continue with our mission or not is up to him.” Whether he still wanted to be with me after all the time I spent pushing him away remained to be seen. “He and his sister might be in trouble, and we don’t leave anyone behind. Not ever again.”
Orion nodded. “Let’s get our hacker back.”
Chapter 36
Finding Po without drawing attention to ourselves was going poorly.
The crowd stampeded through the narrow tunnel. I ran with them, shoving and darting through the press of panicked people.
This was why I hated cities. People were annoying assholes, unless they were mine.
Ahead, Hamal apologized as he used his large form to push through the crowd. The other men were somewhere nearby in the tree-lined tunnel.
We had scattered when the Supremacy guards spotted us. A tight-knit group in the center of a stampede was easy to spot and target. Five people lost in a crowd was harder.
The video feeds Polaris had left us had only gotten us so far across Etrea. Every path and every door were watched by soldiers, searchin
g specifically for us.
My stomach clenched every time I saw them. Had Po managed to sneak by them? Had they captured him?
Had they killed him?
I caught sight of a Supremacy officer in gold and green stomping toward me. I shoved free of the press of people and raced at him.
He raised his gun, and I slammed into him, jabbing my fist into his throat. He sputtered, choked, and I kicked his knees out from under him. He hit the ground with a thud and a groan.
I scooped up his gun, not because I needed it—I had one of my own—but so he couldn’t use it.
It was set to kill.
Fuck. Castor and Queen Asherah Doug weren’t trying to take us alive. They wanted us dead.
I flicked the gun to stun and shot the soldier before flicking it to kill and turning to the tunnel walls.
I couldn’t see where the security cameras were. They were well hidden, so I aimed everywhere: At the walls, ceilings, every gap of stone, and kept firing.
I’d hit at least some of them.
Ahead, Orion grabbed another guard, throwing him to the ground and stomping his neck. Hamal spun, firing at the walls as I was.
The sound of the shots echoed through the narrow tunnel along with the screams of the crowd.
A guard appeared to my right and raised his blaster toward my head.
I ducked under his arm and slammed the side of my gun into his crotch. He cried out and doubled over. I grabbed the blaster from his hand, tossing it away.
“You do that a lot,” Antares said. He stood behind the crumpled soldier with a line of unconscious guards scattered on the ground behind him. Mr. Pancake chewed on the nearest one’s sleeve like it was tasty.
I shrugged and grinned.
“Remind me never to piss you off,” he said.
“You piss me off all the time.”
“Then you must want my balls intact.”
I rolled my eyes. That didn’t change that he was right.
Orion and Hamal hurried up to us, and we raced back the way we had come to meet with Rux at a four-way junction. The walls and ceilings were scorched black from our blaster shots.
I felt bad for killing the trees, but we had to throw off the guards somehow.
“Here’s hoping we got all the cameras,” I said, leading the way down the left tunnel.
We had shot out the cameras here when we first ran by while fleeing the Supremacy soldiers. With the cameras gone in the tunnel we just left, it should look like we were heading in that direction. Instead, we were backtracking.
I pushed through a wooden door and into a narrow public restroom. Rux entered last and locked the outside door.
“Everyone, change quickly,” I ordered.
Hamal slung a backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it, yanking out clothing.
There was no time for each of us to use the one stall to change. So, we stripped down and switched clothes in front of each other.
I tried not to look but failed terribly.
Hamal was even more gorgeous shirtless. His shoulders and back were broad and chiseled with muscles. A line of hair, darker than his olive skin, trailed down his abs and under the waistband of his close-fitting pants.
I flushed. I somehow always did with him, so I turned my gaze to Antares. He pulled off the red tunic but left on the long-sleeved black shirt he always wore.
What was he hiding?
He pulled on a leather jacket studded with metal and hanging with chains. It suited him more than anything else I’d seen him in. He looked like he should be playing bass in a night club in one of the many seedy ports I stopped at as a smuggler. He finished off the look by tucking his long smooth hair under a black wide-brimmed hat.
He tipped it down, so it shadowed his face and hid his eyes. That drew attention to his lips—or at least, it drew my attention. I had never noticed before that they were perfectly shaped.
I was certain the men were sneaking looks at me while I changed, but I wouldn’t worry about that now. We had to find Polaris and his sister in case they were in danger.
I yanked off the tunic Ursa had given me and pulled a flowing purple gown over my black pants. The dress was cut low along the bust and fit tight at the waist.
I fucking hated it. Dresses got in the way of running and fighting, but that was why I needed it. The Supremacy was looking for a disheveled rebel pilot, not a lady from one of the local ruling families.
Plus, I could strap guns to my ankles and the tablet to my thigh and hide them under the flowing gown.
I tucked my hair up under a matching flowery hat and sighed in frustration.
Mr. Pancake sniffed the edge of the dress and then curled up on it where it trailed on the floor.
Orion slipped on a well-tailored dark blue suit that showed off the strong lines of his thighs and arms. It was like a fancier version of the flight suit he normally wore. I had never seen him dressed up before, but even in unfamiliar clothing, he looked like home.
But our home was missing a crucial part.
Polaris.
Orion looked me over and whistled. “You look good enough to eat, like a purple cake whose icing I want to lick off.”
I remembered his tongue on my slit and flushed. Damn him.
“You look like a man about to lose his balls,” I said, stalking past him to the restroom door.
“She looks like a commander,” Rux said, adjusting the waist of his knee-length black kilt.
I froze. Rux was complimenting me?
“Thank you,” I said sincerely.
“I didn’t mean it as a compliment,” he said, blinking in surprise.
I blinked back, then shook my head clear. “Let’s go.”
As I passed him, Antares tipped his hat up to give me a look that was almost sad and thoughtful. I would ask him what it meant, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me.
I unlocked the door and peered out. Thankfully, crowds still mulled and raced and strolled through the tunnels. Nobody was quite sure what was happening or what to do.
Slipping into the crowd, I strolled among them down the left tunnel. We hadn’t gone this way yet, so the cameras were still intact and watching. Like before, we scattered throughout the crowd to draw less attention.
I lifted my chin and stared straight ahead. A high-class lady who was exactly where she should be wouldn’t glance around at the rabble. I strained my ears to listen behind me for any trouble. My heart hammered in my head. What if something happened to one of the men and it happened quietly, and I didn’t notice in time to help them?
To save them?
This was one reason I liked to work alone: nobody to worry about. But the very idea of losing them, of working without them again, made my blood run cold. So, I was stuck worrying, damn it.
That anxiety spiked at a crossroads guarded by five Supremacy soldiers.
I took a deep breath, held my head high like a noble and strutted past them. I felt their gazes on me, burning into me like a brand.
Passing them didn’t make things any better. My hands trembled; my mouth was dry. With them behind me, they could open fire or jump me and I wouldn’t see them coming.
When no attack came, my heart only beat harder, thrumming in my blood like drums. The soldiers might still recognize one of my men. A fancy high-born woman wasn’t an obvious threat—we had made that same mistake with Lady Camilla.
But Antares with his black leather, Rux with his scowl, and Hamal with his size might draw scrutiny.
I strained my ears to listen for trouble, but only heard the usual echoing murmur of a scared crowd.
Until a blaster shot drowned out all other noise.
It drowned out everything in the world around me. I heard only the crack of the gun, felt my heart stop in fear. Then came the second shot.
The people rushing and screaming around me were only a blur as I turned.
Hamal stood head and shoulders above the guards who surrounded him. He wavered on his feet, his warm brown eyes now emp
ty and cold. Then he crumpled to the floor.
I tried to choke back the cry that rose up in my throat and failed. I lifted the hem of my dress to pull twin blasters from my ankles. Marching toward the guards, the crowd broke around me like water around a rock.
I rose both guns, not bothering to check if they were on stun or not. I didn’t care. I just aimed and fired.
The kickback of the blaster in each hand, the boom of their shots, brought the world back to crisp, clear detail. I saw every drop of blood breaking from the soldiers as they fell to the ground.
I saw every tear falling from Orion’s jade eyes as he dropped to his knees by Hamal.
And then, all at once, the lights went out and I was standing in a pitch-black tunnel, unable to see a thing.
Chapter 37
The tablet, Po’s tablet, strapped to my thigh buzzed.
I ignored it as I ran toward Hamal in the blinding dark. The air echoed with screaming and blaster fire and the thumps of people hitting the floor. Rux cursed and Antares laughed somewhere nearby. I hurried toward their voices, not caring if I ran into a firefight.
Then it dawned on me: The buzzing meant someone was calling us, and nobody knew I had this tablet except for Polaris.
I holstered one gun and hiked up my dress to pull the tablet from my belt.
The screen flared to life, showing a map of the tunnels with a line of arrows pointing where to go. A message box above it read: Can we aim a telescope? Because you’re giving me Right Ascension.
I snorted. It was Polaris. He must have offed the lights to save us from the soldiers.
But it might be too late for Hamal.
A part of me didn’t want to find out. I could keep on believing Hamal was alive and cooking somewhere else for another family, a less fucked up one.
But we left no one behind.
I flicked off the screen so the soldiers couldn’t spot me in the dark and hurried. I stumbled over something, or someone, and remembered the blood pouring from the men I had shot. Of course, I had killed before, but it was always from shooting ships to dust. It was far away, the actual deaths and injuries unseen. It was easy to do and not think about it.
