Hearts of Resistance

by Soraya M. Lane

  ‘Darling . . . ,’ he started, then let out a loud breath.

  ‘What were you going to say?’ she asked, pushing him back a tiny bit, palms flat to his chest. ‘You have a look on your face, like you’re keeping something from me.’

  ‘We’re doing something already. To help, I mean.’ He sighed again. ‘I don’t want you to think I’m sitting by and not thinking and feeling the same things you are. We want the same things, you and I, and I want you to know we’re not at odds here.’

  She went still, eyes on his. ‘What do you mean?’ Had he been keeping something from her?

  ‘I thought it was best that you didn’t know, so you could never be questioned about it.’

  ‘What have you done, Peter? What haven’t you told me?’

  ‘I’ve been helping the Resistance,’ he said in a low voice, as if he was worried someone could be listening. ‘Financially, I mean. And very handsomely, I might add. They need weapons, and I had the contacts and the money to assist.’ He hesitated and shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe he was telling her. ‘Some of my business trips, well, they’ve been to arrange funds for them and to assist with organising arms. I didn’t tell you because the less you knew, the better if you were ever questioned.’

  Rose stared at him. ‘You what?’

  ‘I thought you’d be happy. I—’

  ‘Peter! How could you?’ She slapped at him, furious, then grabbed a pillow and beat him with it around the arms.

  ‘Rose!’ He laughed and fought her off as she laughed back and kept hitting him. ‘Rose, stop!’

  She threw the pillow aside and leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs and arms around him. She planted a big, long kiss on his lips. She didn’t care that he knew people who could supply arms and make those kinds of deals in secret. All she cared about was that they were doing something.

  ‘You should have told me,’ she muttered. ‘You shouldn’t keep things like this from me.’

  He kissed her back. ‘Well, now you know.’

  Rose blinked away tears as she held on tightly to her husband, her cheek to his chest as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.

  ‘I’m so scared of losing you,’ she whispered.

  ‘You’re not going to lose me,’ he said, and kissed the top of her head. ‘I’m very careful.’

  She knew that being careful had a loose meaning. They were all in danger, every single one of them, and Peter even more so now.

  ‘If something was to happen then – to you, I mean – do you expect me to carry on what you’re doing? Should I keep sending them money?’

  He shook his head and pushed her back, holding her at arm’s length now and staring straight into her eyes. ‘No, Rose. You mustn’t. I’m not having you put yourself in danger. What I’ve already done for them is enough.’

  She nodded. ‘You needn’t be so worried about me, Peter. I can be careful.’

  ‘Promise me,’ he demanded. ‘Promise me that I won’t have to worry about you doing anything reckless whenever I’m away on business.’

  ‘I promise,’ she said, the words catching in her throat and making her cough. She hated lying, and the last thing she wanted was for her husband to lose faith in her.

  ‘What is it?’ he asked.

  ‘I was just, well, wondering if driving an ambulance would constitute recklessness or not.’

  ‘An ambulance? Christ, Rose, are you out of your mind? Why can’t you be content helping like you already are? Like we already are?’

  ‘For the same reason I couldn’t bite my tongue the night you met me,’ she said, standing and smiling down at him. ‘I won’t do anything silly, but I thought the least you could do was pay for an ambulance so I can provide extra assistance if it’s needed. Or we could do something else . . .’

  Peter had given her a look that told her she might have pushed too far, but she didn’t care. He’d forgive her; he always had and she was certain he always would.

  ‘Rose?’

  Rose turned, wiping away a tear. She found herself standing in the middle of the room, so lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t realised Sebastian had come up behind her. When she turned she saw Charlotte standing there, too, a worried look on her face.

  ‘Sorry, don’t mind me,’ she said quickly, brushing at her cheeks and forcing a smile. ‘My thoughts, memories, they just sneak up on me sometimes.’

  Charlotte closed the space between them and put her arm around her, hugging her. ‘Come on, let’s get that water boiling and make something hot to drink.’

  Rose nodded and hugged her sister-in-law back. Right now her grief was raw, but she was determined to stay strong. She had a baby on the way, a child that needed all of her strength and love. She wasn’t ready to tell her brother about it just yet, wanting to keep the secret for herself a little while longer.

  ‘I didn’t want to bring this up right away,’ Charlotte said as she settled into a chair in the kitchen and Rose set about making coffee, ‘but, Rose, we’re only here for a night now.’

  Rose glanced up as her brother came into the room. ‘You came all this way for a night?’ she asked. Paris was over six hours away and they’d mentioned coming for a week.

  She watched the pair exchange glances and then it was her brother who spoke. ‘Rose, I’m not sure how much you’re aware of, but there’s an underground network of sorts operating in this area,’ he said.

  Rose spooned coffee into the pot. ‘I’m not so naive that I don’t know about the Resistance.’ But it did surprise her to know they were so active near her home.

  Charlotte laughed. ‘I told your brother exactly that on our way here.’

  She swapped glances with her sister-in-law. There was a reason she liked Charlotte so much.

  ‘Were you aware that your husband—’

  ‘Was funding them?’ Rose finished, smiling. ‘Yes, Seb, I was.’

  Sebastian looked speechless for a moment. ‘Well, did you know it was me who asked him for the funding in the first place?’

  This time he had her. ‘No. I didn’t. He wouldn’t have wanted to risk mentioning you, perhaps? But I’m aware of all his . . . business dealings.’

  ‘You’ve unwittingly ended up in a dangerous area, Rose. I just wanted to warn you that there are covert operations happening around here. We’re passing through, legitimately able to say we’re here to visit my grieving sister, but we might well be disappearing after this for some time.’

  Rose’s hand shook as she reached for the kettle. She couldn’t stand the idea of losing her brother so soon after her husband.

  ‘I see.’ She took them their coffee and sat down across from Charlotte. Sebastian joined them.

  ‘Peter was very clear that he didn’t want you involved in any part of this,’ Sebastian said.

  ‘He would hate to think you were in danger,’ Charlotte added.

  When Rose’s hand instinctively fell to her stomach and she looked up at Charlotte, she realised how easily she’d just given up her secret. Rose shook her head and Charlotte nodded. It seemed the other woman understood that it wasn’t something she wanted to share.

  ‘You’ll be gone in the morning?’ she asked.

  ‘Very early in the morning, before dawn,’ Charlotte replied.

  ‘We’d best make the most of it then,’ Rose said, forcing a smile. She looked between them, remembering the first time she’d met Charlotte. Even then, she could tell her brother was in love, and the fact the two of them were working undercover together told her that her first instincts about the other woman had been right. If only their parents were still alive; they’d have loved their daughter-in-law. They were used to their own daughter being confident and abreast of world affairs, and their mother would have appreciated that in her son’s choice of wife.

  ‘You’ll be fine here on your own?’ Sebastian asked.

  ‘Of course. And if there is anything, anything at all, you or your fellow . . .’ – she struggled to find the right words –
‘freedom fighters want or need, you’re to ask me. I’d like to do whatever I can. It’s not an empty offer, either. You’re to call on me for anything, be it money or any other assistance. I want to help.’

  Rose reached out and touched his hand. She might be pregnant, but if there was anything she could do to help, her resolve to be of use hadn’t wavered. In fact, after losing Peter, she wondered if she was starting to feel more determined than ever to do something useful, so that his death and thousands more hadn’t been for nothing.

  Sebastian nodded and held up his cup. ‘Perhaps after this we should move on to something stronger, then.’

  Rose laughed, standing and heading for their little cellar. She was certain Peter would have something suitable tucked away. ‘I remember another time we said the exact same thing.’

  ‘The day we all figured out what that bastard Hitler was doing,’ Charlotte called out. ‘I don’t care what happens to me, but if I can help stop him, I’ll do anything.’

  Rose leaned against the wall in the cellar, her eyes shut, remembering as if it was yesterday the day she’d gone to meet Sebastian and his journalist friends once Peter had left for work. It must have been six years ago, but the memory was crystal clear.

  She entered, scanning the café until she saw a table of four in the corner, heads bent together as they talked. He didn’t see her as she walked towards him, but she was surprised to see that one of the other three was a woman.

  ‘Sebastian,’ she said, after waiting for him to look up.

  ‘Rose!’ He stood and gave her a big hug before pulling back to kiss her cheeks twice and then twice again. ‘You look wonderful.’

  She sighed as she stared at her brother. ‘Well, you don’t,’ she replied, wishing he’d look after himself better and live on more than coffee, cigarettes and whisky. ‘Your clothes are hanging off you.’

  The rest of the table was watching them now and, as her brother pulled another chair over, the woman she’d noticed stood.

  ‘You must be Rose,’ she said, kissing her cheeks as she introduced herself. ‘I’m Charlotte.’

  ‘Lovely to meet you. You’re a journalist, too?’ It surprised her to see a woman working alongside her brother and his male colleagues, and she felt a pang of envy. How fabulous it must be to have an exciting job.

  ‘I am. We’ve just returned from a trip to Poland. We were in Vienna before that.’

  ‘Was it terrible? Is it truly as bad as they say?’

  Rose gulped at the pained look on Charlotte’s face. She moved her chair closer to her brother, glancing at him, realising now that perhaps it wasn’t the alcohol and unhealthy lifestyle that was making him look so gaunt. She could tell he didn’t want to talk to her about it, because when she glanced back again she caught him shaking his head to his female colleague.

  ‘Sebastian, she has a right to know,’ Charlotte insisted, reaching for a cigarette and offering one to her. Rose took it, holding it carefully between her fingers. She hadn’t smoked in years, but the urge to draw on the cigarette hit her hard. ‘If you won’t tell her then I will.’

  The other two men, journalists she had met before, smoked their cigarettes and sipped their coffee as Rose turned to her brother.

  ‘Is this woman your girlfriend?’ Rose asked as politely as she was capable.

  He shook his head, grinning at Charlotte behind her. ‘No.’

  Rose reached out and gave him a slap across the head. ‘Stupid man. She ought to be.’

  That made everyone except her brother laugh, and Rose settled into her chair, intent on finding out everything she could from this interesting woman now seated across from her.

  ‘Sebastian, more coffee please,’ she said, throwing her brother a sweet smile. ‘For both of us.’

  Charlotte’s smile told her that she’d made a friend.

  ‘Now tell me, what did you see when you were away? What will you be reporting from your trip?’ Rose asked.

  ‘Hundreds of thousands of Jews are arriving in Poland. They don’t have passports, or if they do they’re marked with a J. The Germans are just getting rid of them, running them like farm animals across the border to be done with them.’

  Rose’s hand shook as she bent to light her cigarette. She took a slow, steady puff before lowering her hand again.

  ‘So it’s all true. Everything we’re hearing is true?’

  ‘I’m afraid so. But the reality is far worse than what anyone is hearing.’

  ‘Worse?’

  ‘Many of the sick and elderly, they’re living in old stables near the border. It’s atrocious, and worse still is what’s happening in Germany. They’re beating Jews on the street, torching their businesses, destroying everything they have. What they don’t destroy, they take for themselves.’

  Rose was certain her husband had been trying to shelter her from everything that was going on in the world. He was a businessman and was surrounded by influential people who would know precisely what was happening. She hated being left in the dark, liked to know the latest news.

  ‘There are even more fleeing the atrocities in Austria and Czechoslovakia, but many fear that they won’t be able to get out.’ Charlotte blew out an audible breath. ‘And there are rumours of camps, terrible places that the remaining Jews will be sent to. It’s only going to get worse.’ She lowered her voice. ‘So much worse.’

  ‘Surely someone is doing something about that awful man. Not all Germans can be so cruel, can they?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Charlotte shrugged. ‘I’m awake all night remembering what I’ve seen, trying to get the images from my mind of old men being beaten trying to protect their families, synagogues burning and streets of people saluting their leader as if he’s just taken over their minds somehow.’

  ‘But what use is all of that knowledge if we can’t get our photographs out?’ Sebastian said, finally breaking his silence. ‘We can’t write what we need to, and we can’t show the world what we’ve seen. They confiscated everything when we left.’

  ‘I think we should be drinking something stronger,’ Rose announced, her hands shaking from what she’d been told.

  ‘Now you know why I start drinking so early in the day,’ Sebastian muttered drily as he waved the waitress over.

  Rose felt a surge of love for her roguish brother. For all the idiotic things he’d done in his life, risking himself to see what was truly happening in Germany wasn’t one of them.

  She reached for his hand and held it tight. ‘I’m so proud of you, Sebastian.’ She looked around at the rest of the table. ‘Of all of you. You’re doing something brave, something that needs to be done.’

  They all nodded, but she could see they weren’t so sure they were doing the right thing. Perhaps if she’d been haunted by the images they’d seen, she’d understand better.

  ‘Brandy, five glasses,’ Charlotte said when the waitress finally made her way over to them.

  Rose would normally have declined, but for once she didn’t want to flee the café that was a favourite amongst her brother and his kind. Her husband was at work for the day, and the last thing she wanted after what she’d just heard was to go home to an empty house.

  That night, she’d lain awake, with Peter asleep beside her, wishing there was something they could do, believing so strongly that the rest of the world wouldn’t let such atrocities keep happening. And quietly fuming that her husband had pretended that he wasn’t so worried about war breaking out, when he must have known the facts. And now, years into a war that felt endless, she couldn’t help but wonder what could have been done differently if people had taken the German leader more seriously.

  Rose grabbed a bottle of wine from one of the cellar’s shelves and took a deep breath, walking back to the kitchen with a heavy heart. The last few days, weeks even, she’d been living in a bubble of the past, remembering conversations and moments with Peter or with her brother, but she needed to pull herself together and face what was happening head-on. If there wa
s something she could do to help the Resistance, she would, and before he left she needed Sebastian to understand just how very important the underground movement was to her.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  SOPHIA

  BERLIN, GERMANY

  LATE 1942

  Two days after she’d rescued the young Jewish man, Sophia checked her skirt in the mirror and did a silly little twirl for Alex. He was sitting on her bed watching her, and the upturn of his lips made her grin straight back at him. She’d smuggled their visitor out during the night, to be passed to another person working within their secret network, so it was just the two of them in her apartment now.

  ‘I wish you were taking me out,’ she said, sighing and running her hands down the fabric to smooth it. ‘Lunch, a walk in the sunshine, anything but this.’

  ‘Is that all you wish for?’ he said with a laugh. ‘I’m wishing you were taking that skirt off instead of putting it on.’

  Sophia swatted at him when he reached for her, loving his playfulness. Joking with him like this took her mind off everything else that was going on, especially the worry of not knowing whether their young visitor would ever make it out of the country alive.

  ‘Sophia, come here,’ Alex said, standing and holding out his hands.

  Sophia took the few steps back towards him and let him hold her. He touched one palm to her cheek, the other pressed to her hand.

  ‘I can’t wait to marry you.’

  She smiled, her heart beating so fast it sounded like a drum thumping away inside of her.

  ‘Me too,’ she said without hesitation. ‘But not here. I don’t know, but maybe we should start over somewhere else when we get the chance?’

  ‘So long as we’re together,’ he said, and kissed her lips. ‘And you’re my wife.’

  Sophia wished she could stay tucked up in the apartment with him all day, but she needed to go. Her mother missed her terribly, and Sophia missed her just as much. She was looking forward to seeing her even if it was only for a short time. One day she’d tell her mother everything she’d done, and she knew without a doubt how proud she’d be.