Deadly Identity

by Lindsay McKenna

“I don’t know how she does it all,” Rachel admitted. “She runs a quilting shop and then comes home and works on the accounting for her store and the ranch. Your dad is always busy, but then, on a farm or ranch something always needs to be done.” Rachel allowed herself to linger over Cade’s handsome profile as he drove. “And it’s a good thing that you’re pitching in and helping him when you don’t have duty as a sheriff’s deputy. It looks like he needs a full-time wrangler.”

  Cade nodded. “He does, but he doesn’t have the money to pay a hired hand. That’s why I pitch in.” And then he muttered, “I guess the whole family is manic.”

  Laughing, Rachel remembered growing up on their Iowa farm. “Oh, no. Farm and ranch life is demanding, that’s all.” She wanted to ignore how good he looked in his crisp white cowboy shirt, dark slacks and coat. Tonight, Cade was a cowboy, not a sheriff’s deputy. His black hat sat on a rack behind them. Rachel felt that deep down, Cade was a rancher, not a law-enforcement officer. However, this area had little to offer in the way of affordable middle-class housing. A deputy didn’t make enough to live in the town he protected. Cade was able to live here because of his family’s ranch. Rich corporate retirees, oil moguls, mine owners and Hollywood types made this town the Palm Springs of the Rockies. As a consequence, for middle-class people it was nearly impossible to afford the price of an apartment rental, much less a home.

  The silence hung in the truck as they moved slowly down the recently salted highway to the sparkling lights of Jackson Hole. Cade glanced over at her. He swallowed hard and rasped, “Are you happy being with us, Rachel?”

  Taken off guard by the quiet question, she stared at Cade for a moment. Rachel had learned a long time ago to stop and think of the right answer before she engaged her mouth. She used to blurt out answers, but now that could prove deadly. “Of course I am. I love taking care of Jenny.”

  Nodding, Cade felt his heart racing a little more than usual. He kept his hands on the steering wheel. At this time of night, the temperature was falling and despite the best efforts of the salt trucks, the water that had melted during the day would turn into deadly black ice. He had no desire to go skidding off the two-lane highway. “You seem happy. I’m glad you set up that other room as your office.”

  “It’s all working out, Cade.” Far better than Rachel could ever have dreamed. “What about you? Are you still okay with me living under the same roof with you?”

  Cade saw the seriousness of her expression as headlights flashed into the cab. He cleared his throat. “I want you to be comfortable, Rachel. I worry that you aren’t relaxed or that you need more privacy. I worry about being underfoot, sometimes.”

  Rachel was touched by his concern. “I’m happy, Cade.” That wasn’t a lie, and her tension dissolved. “In fact, I can’t remember ever being this happy.” She gestured at the darkness that surrounded them from the cab. “The Grand Tetons are the most beautiful mountains I’ve ever seen. I love small towns and being close to nature.”

  Frowning, he said, “Then why did you live in New York City?”

  Instantly, anxiety gripped Rachel. “For work and school.” She hoped he would buy her explanation.

  “I see,” he murmured. “And now you want to be closer to nature?”

  “Yes,” Rachel lied, feeling badly. Cade was such a stand-up guy that he and his family did not deserve this kind of treatment. “I really love being here, Cade. Your family is wonderful. I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of.” Except for a meaningful, long-term relationship. And a family of her own. A mother who could go back to her own farm and live out her life. And being able to see her brothers…

  “That’s good to hear,” Cade said, making a turn toward the armory. The Christmas lights were still up in the town. It cheered the locals who wanted them left until March. With the winter ski season in full swing, the lights gave an ongoing holiday air to the famous fur-trapper town.

  The armory parking lot had been plowed clean of snow, the white stuff was piled up in three-and four-foot walls around the edge of the rectangular area. Rachel saw that the armory, which doubled as a VFW center, was lit up with pink, red and white lanterns to indicate Valentine’s Day. Crowds of people chatted excitedly and walked toward the main doors. Her heart lifted. Tonight I’m going to forget who I am, what happened and the twists and turns of my life. I’m going to enjoy being with Cade. And how she wanted to be held in his arms! What would that be like? Anything to rival her nightly dreams? Anticipation soared within her as she climbed out of the truck. Throughout the years, she’d never really been in the arms of a man. Maybe that’s why she looked forward to this night with Cade. A human being wasn’t made to live alone.

  Wrapping his arm through hers, Cade said, “This parking lot gets icy. Let me escort you to the door.” He settled the cowboy hat on his head and managed a thin smile down at her. Secretly, he was thrilled to have her arm hooked through his.

  Rachel said, “It wouldn’t look very good if I slipped and fell on my behind, would it?”

  Enjoying her closeness, their bodies touching here and there as they walked between the many cars, Cade answered, “You look pretty in that outfit. It would be a shame to get it wet and dirty.”

  Rachel had chosen to wear her cranberry wool slacks and a pink angora sweater with a mock turtleneck. A long time ago, she’d bought a hand-dyed rainbow-colored silk scarf, and she’d draped it around her neck so that it brought more color to the ensemble. “Not exactly the grand entrance I’d like to make,” she agreed, meeting his eyes. Her heart opened and Rachel thought she saw need burning in Cade’s eyes. Need of her. She wasn’t so naive as not to know when a man was interested in her. Could she read Cade accurately? Or was it her silly, lonely heart wanting some attention no matter who it was? Trying to tamp down her excitement and yearning, Rachel struggled to remain immune to him, but it was nearly impossible.

  The people entering the armory were in a festive mood. They gave their coats to the coatroom attendant and moved with the jovial crowd toward the dance floor. Rachel met more people in that five minutes than she had in all the time she’d lived in New York City. Knowing that this put her at risk but needing the human connection, she shook a lot of hands and shared social pleasantries. Cade knew everyone. And everyone, it seemed, admired and respected him in return. There were plenty of jokes, back-slapping and handshakes.

  Finally, out on the shining oak floor, which was crowded with people of all ages, Cade led her as a slow song began. The local band struck up a 1940s-era song. Swept into his arms, Rachel allowed herself to be pulled close. Cade still kept a bit of distance between them and guided her expertly around the dance floor. She absorbed the warm strength of his hand enclosing hers and the way his other hand fitted into the small of her back. Her spine tingled wildly under his touch. Rachel fantasized how it might feel to have Cade slip his hand beneath her soft sweater. Her breasts tightened. Her nipples puckered. Alarmed, Rachel hoped the fuzziness of the sweater hid her feminine reaction to him.

  “You’re a good dancer,” Cade whispered, his lips near her ear. He wanted to say, You feel so damn good to me. You’re all woman. I want to kiss you, make love with you. Choking all of those words back down, Cade lifted his head to search her face. Rachel didn’t wear any makeup except for some pink lipstick. Her cheeks were flushed, which only emphasized her warm blue eyes and their huge black pupils. She never wore mascara or eye color—didn’t have to. She had thick sable lashes that framed her eyes like those in an old master’s painting. Cade felt himself spiral helplessly into them. There was such happiness within them. Was it because she was in his arms?

  “Thanks,” she said, her voice husky with sudden emotion. Cade’s face was shadowed by the light above, the semidarkness intimate. There might have been forty other couples on the dance floor but she felt as if they were all alone in that moment. His gray eyes were large and intent-looking—upon her. Without thinking, she dropped her gaze to his very male, strong mouth. His lips were
so close to hers. What would it be like to just take a tiny step forward, press her body against his and place her mouth on his? The need nearly drove Rachel forward.

  And then the dance ended. People clapped enthusiastically for the local band that consisted of a saxophonist, a drummer, a singer, and trumpet-and piano-players. The men were dressed like 1920s gangsters, their felt fedoras reminding Rachel of the bootleggers of that era. The singer was dressed in a bright red sequined dress straight out of the 1940s. Her blond hair was long and wavy around her shoulders.

  Rachel reluctantly parted from Cade’s arms but she didn’t want to. Cade kept his hand in the small of her back and led her over to the beverage table.

  Standing near the wall, crystal cup in hand, Rachel appreciated the decorations. In the center of the room a flashing silver ball slowly rotated. Each facet sparkled and cast light around the spacious area. Red, pink and white crepe paper was strung from a central point on the ceiling and fanned out like octopus arms across the expanse. Someone had tied small, medium and large red cardboard hearts here and there along the colorful streamers.

  It was a perfect Valentine’s Day dance. The people who attended were of all ages and walks of life. As Cade had said, during the harsh winter in Wyoming, there wasn’t much for people to do. And with the winter so long, everyone, young and old, looked for any excuse to get out of their homes and mingle with one another. Rachel could see that this was the perfect place for people to catch up with one another’s lives and listen to town gossip.

  Without thinking, Rachel scanned the assemblage. It was a habit she’d developed after going into the program. Focusing on the men in the noisy crowd, Rachel wanted to make sure she didn’t see Dirk among them. The FBI had taught her always to be alert. Always to be aware of her surroundings. She didn’t want to do it tonight, though, because happiness bubbled through her. Just one night! For one night Rachel desperately wanted to forget her past. Wanted just to focus on the present. Now. With Cade.

  Another slow dance started.

  “Shall we?” Cade invited, setting his emptied glass on the table.

  Rachel threw caution away and set down her glass. Tonight, she would drown in the arms of Cade Garner. Everything else in her miserable life would be forgotten. “Yes, come on.” Rachel gave him a playful smile and pulled him out onto the dance floor. The couples rapidly filled up the dance floor as the woman launched into a torch song.

  Cade grinned at Rachel’s sudden and unexpected spontaneity. He liked it, especially the glint in her eyes. Was she letting go and just being herself? Whisking her into his arms, Cade was pleasantly surprised once more as she lightly pressed her body to his. His hand settled on her back and he kept her close. Rachel didn’t resist. When she rested her head on his shoulder, joy exploded through him.

  The scent of Cade was all male. Rachel inhaled the woodsy soap he’d used when he’d showered. The black wool of his coat was mildly scratchy against her cheek, but she didn’t care. The need to be held in the arms of a man who radiated with such powerful masculinity and protection gave Rachel the permission she needed simply to be a woman. They moved slowly, the song surrounding them and, again, it was as if they were the only two people out on the large dance floor.

  “You smell good,” Cade murmured, his lips against her silky hair. “Part winter night, part snow and part sweetness only a woman can be.”

  His words filtered down through her. His voice was low and gruff, the vibration a delicious sensation that moved to her breasts and then to her lower body. Rachel could feel Cade’s masculinity, the tautness of his body, the unspoken strength hidden and just waiting to be unleashed. Most of all, she could feel that he wanted her. She wanted him.

  As she lifted her face, his lips were scant inches from hers. Rachel met his hooded, darkened eyes that burned with need, and a soft sigh whispered from between her lips. Without thinking for once, Rachel leaned upward, her mouth sliding against the line of his. She initiated the contact out of some wild, deep part of herself. Instantly, Cade’s mouth took hers, sweeping her into a world of heat and melting desire. As his lips slid across hers, rocking them open and claiming her swiftly, Rachel surrendered to the power of him as a man wanting her. All of her.

  The music faded. The sense of being on a crowded dance floor slipped away from Rachel. She allowed her fingers to tangle in Cade’s short, dark hair. As his hand pressed her hard against his front, Rachel felt her well-ordered world disintegrating. His mouth was searching, tender and coaxing. A ravenous hunger burned between her legs, so sharp and needy, that she surged against his mouth, tasting him, glorying in his maleness and absorbing it like the greedy sex-starved woman that she was.

  In the back of her spinning mind, Rachel wanted to forget everything. All she wanted right now was Cade. Naked. In her bed. She wanted to feel him thrust inside her, take her as they melted hotly into one another. Her need as a woman overwhelmed her sensible mind. Cade moved her slowly around in a circle, his left hand caressing the length of her spine. It was as if he were making love to her right now. His mouth was commanding and yet teasing. His kiss was unlike any other she’d ever experienced. Cade wanted her to celebrate the joy of their coming together with each gliding, nipping touch of his lips upon hers.

  The music ended. Somewhere in her dizzied senses, Rachel heard it stop, but it didn’t register. Cade tore his mouth from hers. They stood facing one another, his hands on her shoulders. Her whole body vibrated beneath his touch. His intense gaze made her tremble. Rachel could only stare up at Cade, at a loss for words.

  “I’m sorry,” he managed in a strangled whisper. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.” Oh, God, what had he just done? Cade could barely think. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  Her world exploded in front of her. Rachel saw the raw anguish in Cade’s narrowed eyes. His hands gripped her shoulders, his fingers digging into her flesh.

  Rachel seemed excruciatingly vulnerable and shocked to Cade. He tasted her on his lips. He had felt her soft breasts pressed insistently against his chest. The ache in his lower body was painful. Without a word, he pulled her off the dance floor and sat down with her. His hand felt burnt as he released his hold on her arm. He didn’t want to let her go. Not now. Not after that life-affirming kiss.

  Avoiding his gaze, Rachel touched her lips. “I—I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.” Her heart was pounding but his words had hurt her. The pity in his eyes didn’t help, either. Was she that pathetic that he regretted kissing her?

  Cade could see Rachel was struggling with her confusion. As for him, his emotions were in utter tatters. He could barely think. All he really wanted to do was drag Rachel out of the armory, back to his home and carry her to his bed. And love her until he lost himself. Two years without intimacy had left him wildly needy. Oh, he’d had other women ply their looks, their suggestions to him, but none of them had ever captured his heart as Rachel had. And yet, he told himself, he’d only been trying to be nice, to get her out of the house. How could he have kissed her?

  Rachel wanted his strong, callused fingers to move up her arm and… Trying desperately to wrestle with the shock of his words, she did her best to stay with reality. She felt helpless against the bright, joyous emotions and the clamor of her own body that wanted Cade without reserve. “I—I didn’t mean…I’m sorry…it just happened….”

  “I’m sorry, too,” he admitted. “I never expected this to happen.” And Cade hadn’t. She had given him no signal that she was interested in him until tonight. His mouth tingled hotly in memory of her searching, hungry lips meeting and mating with his. She had been bold and he’d loved that about her. Although Rachel seemed meek and mild, Cade realized a cougar lay beneath that veneer.

  “I wasn’t thinking,” Rachel said, giving him a wan smile. “So much of my life, I’ve made risky judgments. This is another of them. I didn’t realize…”

  Shaking his head, Cade studied her as another song began and couples began to drif
t back to the dance floor. “Life is a risk, Rachel.” Cade turned so that their knees brushed against one another. “This changes everything. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yes…yes, it does.” Would he fire her? Would she be leaving tomorrow morning? Just the thought made Rachel wince. She had come to love this new life. And to love Cade.

  “I’m reeling from it. I guess I felt sorry for you. For being stuck in the house.” There, he’d come clean. Fear jagged through Cade as he saw Rachel’s brows dip. Her mouth pursed and she looked away for a moment. Finally, her eyes met his.

  Rachel dragged in a deep breath. “I took the job as nanny to care for Jenny. I wasn’t looking for a relationship of any kind. Please believe me.” Her heart wrenched in her chest—that he could feel sorry for her. She could barely breathe.

  “I believe you,” he rasped. “That’s why I said this kiss changes everything and we’ve got to talk about it.”

  Rachel was struck by Cade’s sense of responsibility. He was the opposite of her ex-husband in every possible way. “Yes, we need to talk.” Shutting her eyes for a moment, Rachel tried to think through her hurt.

  Cade gave her a helpless look and shrugged. “I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I really wasn’t.”

  Nodding, Rachel could see the turmoil in his eyes, as well as his desire for her. “I believe you.”

  “Good, because it’s the truth.”

  “I don’t know where this is going,” Rachel admitted. She was trying to prepare herself for the fact that she might need to leave—he may send her away.

  “I don’t, either,” Cade agreed. Sitting up, he said more strongly, “Look, if you want to move out, I’ll understand. I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay in my home any longer. The cabin is ready for you and—”

  She stared at him in shock. “You aren’t going to fire me?”

  Brows rising, Cade blurted, “Why, no…” And then he realized she’d thought she would be fired for kissing her employer. What a mess! “Jenny needs you,” he emphasized. He cursed himself for his weakness. He could lose the one person who had brought stability to Jenny’s life.