Getting Lost with Boys

by Hailey Abbott

  “You’re awfully quiet today,” Jake said. “Anything wrong?”

  “No,” she replied.

  Good, I’m still safe.

  They were approaching the coast now, and a whole new vista rose before them. The Pacific Ocean came into view and Cordelia’s mouth dropped open in awe. It was like she hadn’t been near the water in years. She noticed how the northern California coastline was a lot different from the one at home. There weren’t many long stretches of white sand beaches dotted with sun worshippers. In fact, she saw hardly any people at all. There were plenty of waves, though, crashing against the rugged cliffs, sending showers of white foam cascading over the rocks.

  “Do you want to pull over?” he asked.

  Cordelia knew that doing so would just delay their arrival in Eureka and that she’d be sitting alone with Jake and her strangely lustful thoughts, which involved the two of them mixing it up in the shallow end of the surf. Maybe she truly was losing her mind. If they kept driving and got to Molly’s, she’d at least have a buffer to keep her from doing anything stupid, like throwing herself at Jake’s Converse-clad feet. But the sound of the roaring tide drowned out all of the little voices, which were telling her to be cautious and pragmatic. Stopping unexpectedly would be a “calculated risk”—one Jake was obviously willing to take. Maybe he was trying to tell her something. Maybe it was a sign.

  Cordelia sharply drew in her breath. “Yes, I’d love to.”

  “Great,” Jake said. “I’ve got a bunch of healthy food in the trunk. Stewart gave it to me. I think we formed some sort of special bond.”

  Lucky Stewart, she thought.

  As Jake drove the Charger down a steep embankment, Cordelia had a brief flash of panic when she remembered what had happened in Death Valley. This car had a tendency to flatline every other time it stopped for a rest. The type-A girl she was last week would have nagged Jake about taking a safer road or pulled out her Treo and called up a list of the closest hospitals in case one of them got injured by an exotic jellyfish or something.

  But now the only thought in her mind was how to stop imagining kissing Jacob Stein.

  After they parked on an isolated section of beach, Cordelia and Jake sat on the hood of the Charger and began devouring healthy fare like trail mix (the kind without M&M’s, unfortunately) and Quaker rice cakes. Cordelia tried not to obsess over the way his Adam’s apple jiggled when he swallowed and she shoved countless handfuls of sunflower seeds into her mouth so she wouldn’t have to talk. But her efforts meant nothing. She could barely take her eyes off him or avoid speaking.

  “Slow down, Cordy. You’re not eating tacos,” Jake said, laughing.

  She swallowed hard. “Shut up, jerk!”

  He playfully nudged her with his elbow. “I bet your boyfriend would be thrilled that you’re not sinking your teeth into any animal flesh.”

  Cordelia hesitated and bit her lip before giving him the latest news. “Actually, Paul isn’t my boyfriend anymore.”

  Jake gave her a look that was a cross between a frown and a grin. “Shit, really?”

  “Yeah, things weren’t working out,” she said, trying to gauge just how much Jake cared about her newly-single status.

  But his expression was rather blank at the moment. “Want to talk about it?”

  She chomped on some more sunflower seeds and gazed at the writhing ocean. “Well, we had a long talk, and I told him I wanted to be friends, but—”

  “Wait a minute, I just remembered something I left in the trunk,” Jake interjected, and bolted to the rear of the Charger.

  Cordelia sighed. Any hope that Jake would be interested in taking her as his love slave had gone up in a fury of flames. She told herself that she should just forget all about it. She needed to keep her mind—and hands—off Jake or else face the ultimate consequence: betraying her loyalty to Molly.

  He returned a minute later with an elegant pillowcase stuffed with God knows what.

  “Okay, what did you steal from Mandalay Bay?” she asked.

  He pulled a tiny bottle of alcohol from the pillowcase. “I took eight of these from the minibar. Jamaican rum.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  “These aren’t for me, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He handed the bottle to Cordelia. “I figured you might want to drown your sorrows.”

  She eyed the bottle dubiously. Molly had referred to alcohol as “truth serum” enough times for her to know that if she drank one or two of those babies, she might confess all of her weird-as-hell feelings for Jake once and for all. But if she didn’t loosen up soon, she might leap into the Pacific and float all the way to China, where she wouldn’t have to stare at Jake’s long, enticing fingers and the sexy curve between his square jaw and his neck….

  She took the rum from Jake and gulped it down. It burned a little, but it also felt as warm as the Pacific in August.

  “Any better?” he asked.

  “Not yet.”

  “Give it a few minutes.” Jake sat back down on the hood of the Charger, but this time his arm was now within an inch of Cordelia’s. “Now what were you saying before? Something about being friends with Paul.”

  She sipped from the bottle a second time and finished off its contents. “Yeah, I’d like to stay friends, sure.”

  “Well, what made you decide that you didn’t want to be with him?” he inquired. “Was it the helicopter thing?”

  Cordelia was certain that she wasn’t hallucinating. Jake’s upper arm had just touched hers! And it didn’t just graze by—his flesh was still against her flesh!

  “No, well…sort of. I don’t know, there were a lot of things that weren’t right,” she replied, shifting her weight slightly so that her arm gently rubbed against his. The electric vibe that was coursing through her brain was now traveling to every sensory receptor north of her belly button. It was only a matter of milliseconds before it headed south of the border.

  Jake snickered and pushed his knee against hers. “Like the fact that he was a douche bag?”

  Cordelia caught that subtle movement too. He was totally, undoubtedly flirting with her…wasn’t he?

  “Stop, he was nice.” She leaned over Jake, reached into the pillowcase, and pulled out another bottle. “He was just—”

  “Pretentious? Self-righteous? Dull as a twenty-year-old kitchen knife?”

  Cordelia playfully shoved him aside and when Jake bounced back from it, their arms were practically glued together. “Come on, Jake. That’s not nice.”

  He peered down at his sneakers. “Yeah, well, you know me. I’m just a fool without a clue.”

  She choked on her rum so hard that Jake had to pat her on the back until she calmed down. “I’m so sorry that you heard that.”

  “Don’t be. It’s what most people think about me anyway,” Jake replied coolly.

  “Not me.” The words were floating off her tongue now. Believe it or not, she was already a bit light-headed, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

  “Please. You’re practically president of the I Hate Jacob Stein Club!”

  “Well, you were trying to take down the Cordelia Packer regime like you had a death wish or something,” she quipped.

  “Fair enough,” Jake said, shoving another fistful of trail mix in his mouth. “But Paul’s right about one thing: I don’t have a clue.”

  Cordelia gulped back the rest of her rum. “Don’t listen to him, Jake. He was picking up trash…as a game!”

  He laughed really loudly. “And you didn’t run off with him and elope? I’m shocked!”

  She shoved him again and afterward he threw his arm around her and gave her a half hug.

  “I’ll stop making fun of you now,” he said.

  She could actually feel her eyes twinkling as they gazed into his. “Thanks.”

  There was a silence between them, yet it was anything but uncomfortable. She was just taking him in, as if she were making a map of all the distinctive qualities of his face—J
ake’s forehead had puckered to the point where his dark, thick eyebrows had almost come together, and he was smiling so widely that she could see his teeth were a wee bit crooked. Jake didn’t flinch as she stared at him either. He returned her gaze and then some. Cordelia could feel the intensity of his look overwhelming her. She leaned in a bit and hoped he would meet her in the middle with a kiss that would send her flying into space without any fear.

  But all he did was recoil.

  “I think I need a drink too. Just one.” He opened another little bottle of rum and chugged it. “You want some more?”

  Cordelia’s liquid courage was coming to a head. “Why the hell not?”

  “Good answer.” He snickered and handed her another bottle. “Cordy, can I tell you a secret?”

  She held her breath and steadied herself on the Charger—things were beginning to spin a bit. “Sure, you can tell me anything.”

  Jake sighed. “My life is a fucking mess! I don’t even know where I’m going to school in the fall.”

  The buzzing in her head was getting increasingly louder. “Aren’t you checking out a school in Seattle?”

  “Yeah, but checking it out for what? I studied all the time, but my grades were always average. I don’t know what I want to major in. And why am I focusing on Seattle? Because I like the city?”

  “There’s still a killer music scene.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t have any talent.”

  Cordelia grabbed his hand without any hesitation whatsoever. It was brave, it was bold, and he didn’t let go. “Jake, you’re more than talented. You’re like…um…. Zach Hanson!”

  He laughed so hard that he nearly fell off the Charger. “I was hoping you’d compare me to Keith Moon.”

  “Who?”

  “Exactly,” Jake said, giggling.

  But the joke went over her head and through her head and around her head. In fact, she wasn’t too sure that her head was even connected to her neck anymore.

  “Jake, I think I’m getting a buzz.”

  He shrugged. “So what? You’re not driving.”

  Cordelia examined her drink thoughtfully. “I’ve never had a buzz before.”

  “You’re kidding.” Jake radiated disbelief. “Molly Packer’s sister’s never had a buzz?”

  She took another gulp and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She knew it wasn’t the classiest thing to do, but Jake had done much worse in her presence. Besides, it’s not like she had much control over what she was doing right now, and that was more than fine with her.

  “When we were in high school,” Cordelia said, hiccupping, “and our parents were out, Molly’s friends would come over with twelve-packs of beer. She’d ask me if I wanted to hang with them, but I wouldn’t. God, I’m such a boring wuss!”

  “You’re not a wuss,” Jake said flatly. “And you’re definitely not boring. In fact, you’re a more interesting person than Molly.”

  She shook her head. “I sincerely doubt that.”

  “Molly and I never had conversations like this. We laughed a lot about goofy stuff, but I don’t remember ever really talking about anything real.”

  “But she’s so much more fun than me!” she shrieked, then flopped her head on Jake’s shapely shoulder.

  “Are you kidding? I don’t think I’ve had more consecutive fun-filled days since I followed Pedro the Lion on tour.”

  She lifted her head up and gave him a peculiar look. “Don’t toy with me, Jake.”

  He was still holding her hand, so he squeezed it a little. “I mean it. You’re just as fun as Molly. Even more so, because there’s no way that girl would have lasted ten minutes in Death Valley.”

  Cordelia’s heart filled with so much joy, she thought she was about to combust.

  Jake opened another bottle of rum and drank it swiftly. “Listen, this is just one guy’s opinion, but maybe you’re a little too concerned about how you measure up to Molly.”

  She set her drink down and stared at him.

  “I’ve seen you when you let your guard down and set the rules and regulations for your life aside for a while,” he continued. “You seem like you’re—”

  “More balanced?”

  “I was going to say happier,” Jake said. “And prettier even.”

  Impulsively, she embraced Jake and wrapped him in an airtight hug. She felt warm and excited, and he must have felt the same way, because he didn’t pull away. In fact, he nuzzled his mouth into the nape of her neck and his hands gripped her waist.

  This is it, she thought. I’m ready.

  Cordelia didn’t wait for Jake to meet her halfway (maybe the Jamaican rum made her impatient—it was difficult for her to tell). She ran her fingers through his thick, wavy hair and brought him in for a soft, yet brief kiss. But it almost felt like it hadn’t happened because Jake was so tense. He barely moved at all. It was as if he’d been zapped with a stun gun.

  She tried again and pressed her lips against his with a little more force this time. They were moist and delicious and tasted like a blend of raisins and cashews. Salty and sweet simultaneously!

  Jake’s body loosened and he began to kiss her back. Cordelia felt his tongue skim hers and his hands moved up to her cheeks. Her hands were occupied too—they were exploring every inch of him, caressing his back, rubbing his stomach, grabbing his thighs. Jake’s mouth was getting hungrier and she felt his fingers pulling up the front of her T-shirt.

  Without warning, Cordelia’s pulse accelerated to a speed that could only be described as Mach sixteen. She could barely register how she was feeling. All she knew was that this was the happiest and the prettiest that she’d felt in her entire life.

  And then it all came to a screeching halt.

  Jake suddenly jumped up as if he’d been bitten and took a few steps away from her. “Cordy, we’ve gotta stop.”

  She gasped at the worried tone of his voice. “Why?”

  “You’re kind of drunk and tomorrow you might regret all of this,” he said, turning his back to her so that he was facing the water.

  Cordelia came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso. “I would have regretted it more if I hadn’t done it.”

  Jake squirmed away and looked at her. The fresh smell of the sea air enveloped them, and the sounds of the water creeping up onto the shore echoed in Cordelia’s ears. She was more terrified about what was going to come next than she’d been in that goddamn helicopter.

  “I’m going to take a walk,” he said gently. “I should find a phone and call your sister. Tell her we’ll be in tomorrow morning, you know, once everything’s gone back to normal.”

  The only thing Cordelia could do was nod her head. She watched Jake stroll along the seashells until he was out of sight. Then she fell to her knees and sobbed as if she had lost her favorite yellow glow-in-the-dark Frisbee in the ocean all over again. Except this time, she’d lost the guy who she knew belonged with her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Cordelia had thought standing between Jake and Paul was awkward, but that had been nothing compared to watching Molly say, “Hello, how are you?” to Jake with some good old-fashioned groping. She could feel her body becoming feverish and her muscles turning rigid, which in some respects was a good thing. On the drive over that morning, she and Jake had barely said anything to each other. Jake seemed as if he’d lost his voice—he was clearing his throat incessantly—while Cordelia had felt completely numb from crying all night long and trying to pretend like she wasn’t. She and Jake had had to sleep in the car again, and she didn’t want him to hear her sniffling like a brokenhearted loser, so she’d proceeded to fake-sneeze for hours. He hadn’t said “God bless you” even once—it was a terrible omen, indeed.

  Now she was sitting on top of her sister’s nearly refrigerator-sized suitcase and listening to Molly (who wore a lime green Malia Mills bikini top and a pair of white terry-cloth shorts that barely covered her butt cheeks) fawn all over Jake like he was a new Prada bag.
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br />   “Oh my God, you turned into a total hottie!” Molly screamed with pure delight.

  Jake stepped back and looked at Molly with obvious approval. “You’re looking mighty fine, too, girl. But you always do.”

  Jesus Christ, Cordelia thought. Why don’t they just do it right here on the steps? It was so difficult for her to see them act all gooey with each other, especially because of how Jake had turned her down the night before. Cordelia had suspected that he might still have feelings for her big sister, but now it seemed undoubtedly true. She closed her eyes and wished for an earthquake to come along and shake them out of their gut-wrenching gushfest.

  “I can’t believe you waited until after we broke up to get all gorgeous on me,” Molly said while flipping her hair flirtatiously.

  “Serves you right for dumping my ass,” Jake replied.

  Cordelia rolled her eyes and forced her way between them. “Hey, Molly, remember me? The sister who’s here to spend the summer with you?”

  Molly giggled ferociously and hugged Cordelia. “Hiya, honey. I’m so happy you’re here!”

  Yeah, right, she thought. More like can’t wait to get rid of me so she can slobber over Jake.

  Her sister’s face turned serious as she held Cordelia’s hand. “You know, I was really worried about you. Thank God Jake called me last night. I left a ton of messages on your Treo. I was minutes away from, like, issuing an Amber Alert. What happened out there?”

  Suddenly, Cordelia felt a flurry of emotions, the first of which was remorse. Here she was thinking the worst of Molly’s intentions, when in reality she was concerned about what had happened to her kid sister. The second, third, fourth, and fifth emotions were all the same one: guilt. If Cordelia told Molly about “what happened out there,” she might go into a rage and club Cordelia to death with her signature pair of red Kors espadrilles.

  Jake glanced at Cordelia quickly and then shrugged his shoulders. “We had some car troubles, that’s all.”

  Car troubles! Is that what guys call making out these days? Cordelia couldn’t help but feel really insulted. Sure, that was kind of what happened, but didn’t the previous night mean anything to him? She could have sworn by the way he’d kissed her that there was some magnetic attraction between them. Actually, it was more than just attraction—it was an undeniable connection, except for the fact that Jake seemed all too happy to deny that they’d ever gone lip-to-lip. She was too hurt to hold back her anger.