Return to Roseglen

by Helene Young

  ‘Of course.’ All three women spoke at once.

  His steps were heavy as he walked away.

  ‘Well, hell. I knew he could be a firm boss with his mustering crew, but Mitch just managed to stare down Uncle Ken twice in one day. And you, Mum! Go girl,’ Ella said when Mitch was out of earshot. ‘Granny D would be proud of you.’ She leaned over and kissed her mother’s cheek. ‘What was all that crap about a new will?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Felicity said with a tiny frown. ‘Guess we’ll find out when the lawyer contacts us.’

  ‘I reckon deep down Ivy knew that you, not Ken, should be running Roseglen. She chose your option to destock and offer agistment to Trethowan’s cattle. Who knows what she’s done. He doesn’t deserve a cent,’ Georgina said.

  Dan reached across to hold her hand. ‘Don’t be too hard on him. He’s just lost his mother as well, whatever the truth of Ivy’s fall.’

  Georgina straightened, but the kiss he laid along her knuckles made her swallow the angry retort. ‘Maybe,’ she said, letting her hand lie in his.

  ‘So what else do we need to do now?’ Ella asked.

  ‘Nothing, really,’ Felicity replied. ‘I’ll fill in the paperwork. The hospital will deal with the funeral directors. We need to contact everyone. I’ll let a couple of key people know, like Joan at the servo, and it won’t take long for the word to spread.’

  ‘I’ll pick up Sean from the airport if you like,’ Ella said.

  ‘Thanks. He’ll be in this afternoon.’

  Georgina stood up. ‘I need a walk. Coming?’ she asked, looking at Dan. He nodded.

  As the doors of the hospital opened and the warm humid air enveloped her, Georgina shivered. The end of an era. A world without Ivy seemed impossibly empty. Would her passing leave a power vacuum? Or did Ivy have the last laugh? Perhaps she’d willed the lot to a cat home after all. Ken would be livid. Georgina smiled for the first time in twenty-four hours.

  ‘I’m sorry to leave you here on a day like this, Lissie.’

  ‘It’s okay. Mustering waits for no man.’ She tried to smile. ‘I know that. Go. I’ll see you back home.’

  ‘You’re stronger than you think,’ Mitch said, wrapping his arms around her. She didn’t resist. He held her for a long moment, then brushed his lips over her hair before he turned away and walked to the door. She let him go. How had he crept into her heart so quickly? Or had he always been there?

  She waited, leaning on the balcony railing, for his dusty car to appear. She missed his quiet strength already. He waved out the window as he drove onto the street. Then she walked inside to the comfort of the couch, clutched a cushion to her chest, the silence a physical relief after an apartment full of people.

  Ella was collecting Sean from the airport and Georgina and Dan were at the supermarket. Georgie would take over cooking and that suited her just fine.

  Felicity had soldiered through all the phone calls to family and friends and tomorrow she had an appointment with the funeral directors. On the way to Roseglen she planned to see the minister from the church in Limestone Hill and ask if he’d come out to the tiny chapel to conduct the service. Ivy was to be laid to rest beside her beloved Charlie.

  Now Lissie was left with her own thoughts. One part of her was bereft, one part relieved, and another part anxious. She rested her head back on the couch. She just had to take everything one step at a time. Ella was heading up to the property this afternoon, adamant she was fine to start mustering again. Mitch wasn’t convinced, but they’d argue that out tomorrow. It wasn’t going to be easy for any of them to walk into the house knowing Ivy wasn’t there.

  Keys rattled in the lock. She turned to see Sean, hair carefully styled back from his face, jeans low on his hips, white T-shirt stretched across his chest, come sloping through the door, looking heartbreakingly like a young Todd. Ella was frowning behind him.

  ‘Hi Mum,’ he said, looking everywhere but at her as she stood up. She hadn’t seen him properly since the week of the pool debacle, even though they’d talked on the phone many times. ‘Sorry about Granny D.’

  She gathered him close in a hug, the swell of love still so strong, but there was a stiffness in his spine. Of course he was hurting. ‘I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye, Sean.’

  One shoulder barely lifted as he eased away. ‘Yeah, so am I.’ He shot a look at his sister.

  Felicity clenched her teeth for the barest moment. He was upset, that’s all. ‘Granny was doing okay and I would have bought the ticket yesterday if you’d asked me. I thought you said you had to work last night because you needed the money?’

  ‘Yeah, whatever.’

  ‘Sean, stop being a prick,’ Ella said. ‘This isn’t Mum’s fault and Dad could have helped out if he wanted to.’

  ‘He’s got no money. He’s got rent to pay and he still has that huge mortgage on the house.’

  Felicity held up her hand before Ella could leap in. ‘Sean, your father’s made many choices that are going to affect us all for a long time. If you’re that short of money, you could have asked me. I thought you were saving for a surfing trip to Bali?’

  ‘I was until Ella came up with this thing for your birthday.’

  ‘What?’ Felicity looked to her daughter, who was shaking her head.

  ‘Sean! It was meant to be a surprise.’ Ella tossed the car keys on the kitchen bench and they skidded across into the small coffee machine.

  ‘No point now, is there,’ he continued. ‘We’ll be here for a funeral, not Mum’s fiftieth.’

  ‘You’re a little shit,’ Ella hissed. ‘A spoilt bloody brat. What is it with the men in this family? We’ll still celebrate Mum’s birthday, it’ll just be a quieter day, and you’ll turn up and smile or I’ll, I’ll . . . I’ll tell Mandy that you’re just like Dad and that’ll make your girlfriend run out that door so bloody fast. Grow up.’

  ‘Dad thinks you hate him,’ Sean said. ‘You won’t take his calls. Just because he and Mum split, doesn’t mean you have to be horrible to him.’

  ‘Divorcing is one thing. Having a sleazy, dirty little affair with the bitch from next door is entirely different.’

  When he didn’t answer Ella kept on. ‘You know what, Sean? Life is not all about you. Grow up and stop thinking the world owes you anything. Right now you’re still living off Mum and Dad. Get a real bloody job, little bro, and stop whining!’

  ‘You didn’t pay for your flying lessons,’ he said, glaring.

  ‘Enough!’ Felicity stamped her foot, not sure who was the most surprised at her temper. ‘My mother, your grandmother, died this morning, Sean. Show some respect. Ella is driving out to the property with Georgie and Dan later this afternoon and you are welcome to go with them. Otherwise I’ll be heading out tomorrow afternoon in a hire car. The funeral will be the middle of next week, but no one’s making you go. You can say your goodbyes and head home. Up to you. Please don’t stay for my birthday either if it’s such a burden for you.’ Her heart was hammering, the tide of grief barely kept at bay.

  She waited for her son to look at her. He didn’t, but he managed to mumble a response. ‘I’ll go with Ella and I’ll stay.’

  ‘Fine. Would you like a drink? Something hot or cold?’ She needed to keep busy.

  ‘A coffee, thanks,’ he replied. ‘I miss your coffees.’ His grin was enough to break the tension. And her heart. Her boy was a long way from being a mature man capable of dealing with his emotions. Ella huffed and left the room. Her bedroom door slammed. Felicity turned her attention to making coffee on Ella’s unfamiliar machine. It was the last thing she felt like right now, but she figured she needed to sit and talk to Sean. No point doing that without a mug in hand. And best she do it before Georgina and Dan arrived back.

  Sean slouched on the couch and took the cup she held out to him before he circled back to the divorce. ‘Dad said he will have to ask for half your share of the Dunmore money because he has such big debts.’

  Felicity
almost stumbled as she went to sit on the couch beside him. Despite a flash of rage, she felt icy calm. ‘Sean, you can tell your father that Uncle Ken appears to have stripped all the money out of Roseglen. It won’t matter who gets what in the end as there’s not going to be much left. And I won’t be discussing this again with you, but your father thought it was appropriate to have a separate bank account that he didn’t tell me about. That was so he could visit the strip clubs he liked to stop off at on the way home from work. He also spent money on his girlfriend. Meanwhile, I was working overtime at the hospital to pay for your school trips and your new surfboard and your braces. He won’t get a cent of Dunmore money and nor should he. He’ll only spend it on his girlfriend and guess what, she’s not a Dunmore. You and Ella are Dunmores and the money should go from me to you, not to my ex-husband. So, are we clear about that now?’

  Sean shrugged, the gesture so like his father that Felicity had to look away.

  ‘I just don’t see why you won’t talk to Dad about it.’

  She stood, trying to forestall an outburst, and walked over to the glass doors. This was her son, her baby boy. Maybe by protecting him from the ugliness of the divorce she’d made it worse. She turned and looked back at him.

  ‘Your father is being unreasonable in his demands. Because he’s building a new family, he thinks he can wash his hands of his old family. The law doesn’t support that.’

  ‘What about taking half his super? How’s that fair?’

  Felicity laughed. ‘You know what? I’m going to give you the file to read. Everything. Then we’ll talk.’

  She stalked down the short hallway to her bedroom, pressing her fingers into her temples. At a time like this why did she have to waste oxygen debating her stupid ex-husband’s behaviour? With her son of all people!

  She could hear Ella in the next bedroom talking on the phone, letting off steam about Sean to someone, probably Georgina. Felicity let her chin drop. She thought she’d managed to bury her sense of failure once and for all, but on a day like today it tried to reassert itself. Why couldn’t she be brave like Georgie? What did it matter that she wasn’t academic, ambitious? She’d had a great job, two beautiful children who were grieving in their own way for all that they’d lost this year, and yet? She couldn’t shake the sense that she wasn’t good enough, that even those who loved her doubted her.

  She straightened her shoulders and grabbed the folder from the chair. She had to soldier on. Get through the next week, one foot in front of the other.

  Back in the lounge room Sean was staring at his phone, his thumbs flashing over the screen.

  ‘Here.’ Felicity dropped the file in his lap. ‘Read it from cover to cover and then we’ll talk. Tell Ella I’ve gone for a walk. I’ll be back.’

  ‘Okay.’ He at least put his phone down, even if he didn’t look up.

  She picked up her keys and phone and closed the door softly behind her. As she stepped out of the lift on the ground floor her phone pinged with a message.

  Paula. She opened it.

  Hey lovely, just checking on you. You’ve got a lot on your plate. I can be there in a heartbeat if you need. Happy to line up for a swing at Ken ☺

  Felicity stopped walking to type.

  Thanks, hon, but no need to rush up. Chin up as Ivy would say! She hit send before she could give in to the urge to say yes to her friend.

  Okey dokey but Steph and I have your back even if it means sitting beautiful Sean on his arse and telling him some home truths. Xxx

  Felicity smiled at that. Ella had been on the phone to Paula then, not Georgina.

  The phone beeped again. Ella this time. You okay, mumsy?

  Yep just needed to clear my head.

  Okay, you want company?

  Thanks, but no. I’ll be back soon. And thanks for thinking of my birthday. She’d been so sure everyone had forgotten, herself included.

  XXX love ya.

  She shoved the phone in her pocket and lengthened her stride. She didn’t often get the chance to just walk. It was one more thing she missed about living at Roseglen. The heat of the day had peaked, with the sun sliding towards the hills behind Cairns. Felicity crossed the road to the walking and cycle track that ran along the esplanade. Fig trees spread their giant limbs in welcoming shade. Beneath them the bright flowers of heliconias and ornamental gingers swayed in the breeze. An aircraft taking off from the airport turned left, heading east over the sea. The tide was out and the mangroves stretched muddy hooks towards the blue of the Coral Sea. Dive boats and charter vessels were starting to form a ragged line heading back to their berths for the end of the day as they came past Cape Grafton and False Cape.

  She remembered Ivy telling her about the wartime gun emplacements on False Cape, and the military training camps at Trinity Beach and up on the Tablelands. How being in Cairns the night a bomb was dropped had steeled her reserve to join the WAAAF, do her bit for the war effort.

  Felicity sat on a wooden bench and stretched her legs out. So much family history was gone now. She was sorry she hadn’t paid more attention to Ivy’s stories. She’d always meant to, but the small jobs seemed to multiply at Roseglen. Just sitting and talking was a luxury that happened all too infrequently in recent years. And if they did linger over a cup of tea, more often than not Ivy would wave away Felicity’s questions, wanting instead to hear the news of Ella and Sean or chat about Paula and Steph.

  The seat was hard and she squirmed. At least the murderous rage had subsided and the hot flush had sunk back to her toes.

  Her phone rang again.

  ‘Hey, Steph.’

  ‘Hey, hon. How are you doing?’

  ‘As you’d expect.’

  ‘Tough day. We’ll all miss your mum. She was one of a kind.’

  ‘She was. And I have no idea where this leaves me.’

  ‘Don’t worry about that yet. You’ll be flat out managing everything. I know it’s too soon, but I’ll be there for the funeral. So will Paula. If you need us to do anything we’re your backup team.’

  ‘You could sort Sean out for me.’

  Steph laughed at that. ‘He’s a hormonal barely-nineteen-year-old. They don’t like having their worlds rocked. He’ll come round.’

  ‘I thought he understood my decision to leave, but maybe I didn’t explain it clearly enough.’

  ‘Maybe you were too gentle. A bit of brutal truth won’t hurt him, but it might shock him enough to make him pull his head in. He’s always been your baby boy.’

  ‘Ella was so much easier. Sure we clashed at times, but really, my organised, focused little girl grew up gracefully.’

  ‘She did. But she also had another great role model with Georgina. Maybe Sean needed someone other than Todd to idolise.’

  ‘He had your gorgeous Rod. And even Quin was great with him.’

  ‘True. So probably it’s just a phase. He’ll come out the other side.’

  ‘Maybe I didn’t spend enough time with him.’

  ‘Don’t beat yourself up about this, Lissie. You had so many responsibilities.’

  ‘Was Todd right? Did I put Ivy before my family?’

  ‘Hey, enough.’ Steph stopped her. ‘Ivy needed you. And that’s been proven by the way this has all played out. Being there for her is what any decent human being would do for their elderly parents. People like Todd and Ken, who take advantage of their oldies, are despicable. So stop beating yourself up. Chin up, hon. You have more heart than anyone I know.’

  Felicity realised her cheeks were wet. ‘Thanks, Steph. I’m just being silly. I know that.’

  ‘It’s come as a shock. Of course you’re upset. Call anytime you need me. Paula and I can be there tomorrow.’

  ‘Thanks. I will.’

  ‘Got to go. Prescriptions to fill. Love you, hon.’

  Today Sean had reminded her so strongly of Todd. Genetics might not be responsible for everything, but they certainly contributed to the end result. Was Ken’s behaviour a throwback to
Ivy’s father or Old Mr Dunmore? He was nothing like Charlie.

  She was resigned to the fact that whatever the will said, she would no longer be able to call Roseglen home.

  By the time she returned to the apartment everyone was back. Georgina was ready to head to Roseglen, Dan was sitting talking to Sean, and Ella was deep in conversation on her phone out on the balcony.

  ‘Hey, Lissie, does Ella have an Esky? I’ve bought food for next week as well. Be good to keep it cold on the drive up.’

  ‘Yep.’ Felicity led the way to the cupboards in the hallway. ‘Here. There are bricks in the freezer.’

  ‘Got those. And we bought another Esky ourselves. According to Dan you can never have too many. Go figure.’

  ‘I have no idea how many people will come to the funeral, Georgie.’

  ‘I think we have to assume the whole district will turn up, including those she offended, even if they’re just there to dance on her grave.’

  ‘Don’t go to too much trouble. They’ll be happy with a cuppa and no doubt the CWA ladies will see it as another excuse for a bake-off.’

  ‘I’m sure they will. Ivy would be upset if they didn’t. I remember her baking for Charlie’s wake. I thought she was crazy, but now . . .’ Georgie said. ‘I get it. Busy hands stop the mind working overtime.’

  Felicity reached out with a sympathetic touch. Her ironclad sister was doing it tough. ‘She’d totally approve of you cooking for her wake. In fact, I think she’d be put out if you didn’t.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll take the brat with me.’ Ella breezed down the hallway ‘You sure you’ll be okay by yourself?’

  ‘I’m sure, honey,’ Felicity replied. ‘Promise me you won’t go flying if you wake up tomorrow morning and can’t face it. Mitch isn’t keen for you to start working again until after the funeral.’

  ‘No chance. Granny D wouldn’t want me to hang around the house feeling sad. She’d tell me to pull on my big girl panties and get on with it. So I will. And we’ll see you tomorrow night?’

  ‘Yep, I’ll be there.’

  Ella leaned in for a hug, her voice a murmur. ‘Sean read everything then came and asked me some questions. I think he’ll be a bit more understanding now.’