Sex in Numbers (S.I.N. Rock Star #1)

by S. R. Watson

  “Yeah. They’re pretty huge,” Desiree says, reading my mind. “Their tour stops are always sold out and guaranteed to get you guys the exposure you need. You’ll play your original music, but you will need to get in the studio to record more. We can discuss the logistics later about a producer and possible co-writer. We don’t want change your sound.” Desiree opens the briefcase on the table and shuffles through some files.

  “What are the numbers?” I ask. I’m the spokesperson for our band. It all sounds great, but the dollars have to make sense for us.

  I know we have to prove ourselves first, before we can expect a huge payout, but a contract needs to stipulate a percentage with progression as we make a name in the industry. Desiree looks over at Lourdes, who has been quiet up to this point. It is obvious that she doesn’t want to disclose our figures in front of her.

  “I’ll just step outside,” Lourdes says, apparently also feeling the vibe. “Congrats guys. You deserve it.”

  “Thank you,” Keyser and Gable say in unison. I just nod my thanks.

  “I’ll be out there in a second,” Xander tells her. She waves her hand slightly and disappears out onto the deck. Desiree waits until she is both out of earshot and sight before she continues.

  “The label is prepared to offer you guys fifteen percent and that’s pretty generous. The industry standard is thirteen. The breakdown is that the label gets sixty percent because they carry all the upfront costs of getting you guys produced and promoted. Distribution gets twenty-five percent and ensures that you’re album is released everywhere, as well as optimal radio time.” Desiree lays out a pie graph that outlines how our pay is broken down.

  “So our lawyer, producer, and managers get paid out of our fifteen percent?” She nods in the affirmative. “Why do we need two managers?”

  “Well, as your business manager, I get five percent. If you act as the personal manager for your group, you can filter some of the percentage among your band and take a greater percentage for yourself.” The guys all agree this would be the fair thing to do.

  “You guys will get a million dollar advance up front to record your album, pay the expenses we just discussed, and for tour support.” I can’t find anything wrong with this deal. As she stated, it all seems legit and fair, not to mention generous. She steps outside briefly with Lourdes, for us to discuss, but it doesn’t take us long to deliberate. This is our blessing. The guys get choked up over the million dollars, but I remind them of the breakdown. They need me, Mr. Control Freak, in charge. I’m logical and will be frugal as fuck when it comes to our band. There will be no fucking off the money. We summon Desiree back in and Lourdes returns will her.

  “One last question.” The guys look at me like I’ve grown a second head. In their mind, it’s a done deal. It is, I just have more question. “When will be starting to tour? Oh, and we’re keeping the name Sex in Numbers”

  “Legitimate question,” Desiree surmises. “Of course you’ll be keeping your name. It’s badass. Your touring will start at the beginning of January. That gives you guys a couple of months to perfect the songs you already have written and get them professionally recorded. Maybe pick one of them as your first single. It will also allow time to at least start on some new material to sample while on tour.” She smiles and hands me a pen as she pushes the contract in my direction. “ I will need a signature from each of you, if you’re onboard.”

  “We are.” I smile back. My day has been made, first with Lourdes and now this. I know our lives will be changed forever. I lean over the table and proudly sign my name to the piece of paper that is the evidence of everything we’ve worked hard for.

  Once Desiree has all of our signatures, she shakes our hands. “Welcome aboard,” she congratulates. “I look forward to managing you guys. I know we’re going to do some wonderful things. Can you all come down this weekend to meet the executives? I know you have a regular gig at Hundred Degrees and this is short notice.”

  “Sure. I’ll talk to Steve today. He’ll understand. He wanted this for us. He knew there would be some conflicts with our schedule to play there in pursuit of our dreams.” I will never forget what he did for us. Hundred Degrees will always be our home.

  “Great! I want to take you guys out on Saturday. We’ll get dinner and then we’ll hit Excalibur. The club is owned by the senior VP of Platinum Records, so we’ll get VIP treatment.” She winks. The guys woot and howl their excitement. It’s been a while since we’ve been to a club just to party because we always have a gig on the weekend. As long as it’s on the label’s dime, I’m game. This very well just may be our last time to unwind, since we’re going to have to step our game up. Our schedule is about to get real hectic.

  “Looking forward to it.” I shake Desiree’s hand one last time before she leaves. I turn to look at the guys. I don’t want to wait until the weekend to celebrate. I’m thinking a nice low-key dinner and drinks are in order. “What do you guys say to us going out and celebrating, now that it’s official? Nothing major—just dinner and drinks.”

  “I’m game for it. We can save the partying until this weekend,” Keyser suggests.

  “Yeah. Like our last hoorah,” Gable adds. This is why we mesh so well. None of us are into drugs and major partying. Don’t get me wrong; we are far from saints. We just have always put the needs of the band first. We’re not your stereotypical definition of a rock band. We do love pussy though and will indulge in that shit. We named ourselves Sex in Numbers for this very reason. Still the band comes first.

  “Come on. Let’s do this,” Xander says, slapping me on the back. “Are you coming, Lourdes?” She hasn’t said much and I wonder what she is thinking. I’m going to have to find time this week to go and see her, so we can explore our arrangement. In light of our record deal, I don’t know how much time we will have, but I’m definitely ready to fuck the shit out of her. My balls ache just thinking about it.

  “No, you guys go ahead. This is your day. I can wait here until you get back, if you all are going now,” she says.

  “Nonsense. But I will take you back to the dorm if you’re ready,” Xander speaks up. I want to volunteer, so I can solidify a plan for this week. Then again, that would be just plain torture not to be able to have her now. Besides, I don’t want to raise sudden suspicion. The guys know that I’m not that generous. My reputation with the extent of my relationship with women is quite tainted. Instead, I watch as she nods in agreement and gives us a small wave goodbye. She looks at me briefly, but I’m unable to communicate that I will be in contact. She leaves with Xander and I’m forced to wait until she gets back to her dorm. I will call her and set this fuckship in motion.

  When I get back to the dorms, Brooke is out. I know she will have plenty of questions for me, so I appreciate the reprieve. I need some time to reflect on my conversation with Diesel. I’m still reeling in shock to learn that he considers himself a dominant. I’m still unsure of what all that means. What does he want me to do? What does he want to do with me? My mind has cycled through several scenarios and possibilities on the way here. Xander had asked why I was so quiet. Now that I’m alone with my thoughts, the nerves have kicked in. I want this with him. I want to try. I must admit it sounds exciting to release control, but scary at the same time. Can I do it? I wasn’t forthcoming with him about my past. I have secrets that I haven’t disclosed to anyone. Still I want this. I need this. For so long, I’ve hidden behind the make-up and baggy clothes. I was afraid for a man to see me. I was afraid of intimacy. The change in clothes and make-up was the first step at normalcy for me. Owning my sexuality is logically the next step.

  I can’t worry about where this music career will take Diesel. The guys will be going on tour soon, so I know that will end whatever we are about to embark on. As long as I remember that this is just a fuck and the chance to explore my sexuality, I’ll be fine. I will enjoy it while it lasts. He will be my stepping-stone in preparation for the next man comes along.

  M
y phone rings and I smile when I see that it is Diesel. I wonder if he is anticipating our hook up like I am.

  “Hello,” I answer, as I feign indifference.

  “Hey, princess.” I have to admit the fact that he calls me that is growing on me. It’s quite different from when Xander says it—a naughty undertone that is kind of hot. “Glad to see you made it home. Have you been thinking about our discussion?”

  “Nope. Just pulled out my books to study,” I fib. I can’t let on that is all I have been able to think about since I left. I lie across my bed and cup the phone closer to my ear. I’m glad Brooke is not here to see this cheesy ass grin on my face. His voice is just so sexy over the phone. I can’t explain why he has the ability to turn me into a mush of hormones.

  “Lies,” he accuses. “I bet you’re wet right now. You have FaceTime don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I answer hesitantly. Where is he going with this? “Why?”

  “Mmmm, I want to see.”

  “See what?” My voice raises an octave in surprise. My heart slams against my chest. I know it has something to do with exposing myself.

  “I want to see how wet your pussy is for me. How turned on you are just thinking about everything I’ve told you.” His voice is husky now and I recognize the change. He is every bit of turned on as I am. He is right. I’m soaking, but I’m too chickenshit to show him. Both encounters with him have been in the dark: my fears hidden in the shadows—a way for me to be brave.

  Holy crap! What was I thinking? How did I ever think I could do this? Liberation my ass. I don’t think I can go from totally covered and hiding, to naked and bare for him without a way to hide my insecurities.

  “Diesel—” I begin, but he cuts me off.

  “Don’t sweat it. I don’t need the visual proof. It’s in the voice. It’s tells me all that I need to know. From the slight hitch of your breath to the hesitation in your speech, I know I affect you. You’re ready for my cock and that is all that matters. I’m going to fuck the shyness right out you, princess. There will be no more room left for preservation—only lust, want, and lack inhibition,” he promises. “That tingling you’re feeling right now. That’s your pussy agreeing with me. It wants everything I have to offer. She’s the brave one. She’s the one who responds to me when you’re too afraid to. She and I will be getting well acquainted.” I squeeze my legs together because he is right. The ache between my legs is down right unbearable. His forwardness is raw and speaks to “her,” just as he predicted.

  “Umm, okay.” Gah, I can hear the quiver in my own voice. “So when are we going to see each other?” Not too obvious right? Especially since I really want to ask, “When do you plan on getting acquainted with her?” He chuckles on the other end of the phone because he sees right through my subliminal question.

  “What time do you get out of class on Wednesday?”

  “Monday and Wednesdays are my light days so I’ll be done before noon.” I’m going to have to think of something tell Brooke. I can’t divulge the truth. She will just try to talk me out of it—insist that he is using me. She doesn’t know my past, so she wouldn’t be able to fathom why I need this. Our last plan was to make Diesel jealous for how he dismissed me so easily, last time we fucked. She will think I’m absolutely crazy for giving him a chance to do it again.

  “Perfect. I can pick you up by one. We can grab lunch and get our same hotel.”

  “Okay.” Tension builds, as I’m more concerned about how I’m going to explain my disappearance. I don’t want to have to lie to her, yet it is all I seem to be doing lately.

  “I want you to do something for me before I let you off the phone.” His voice takes on an even huskier vibrato. I’m scared to ask.

  “What is that?” I ask anyway.

  “I want you to unbutton those jeans you’re wearing and slide your hand into your panties,” he instructs. What the? I look toward the door. Brooke could come in any minute. “Now, princess.” Damn. The command is sharp, but not offensive. This is it: the beginning of his control. He can’t see me so I could pretend, but I need to use his absence as practice. I’ve touched myself before—not often, but I’ve done it.

  I unbutton my jeans and slide my hand into my underwear as instructed. “Now what?”

  “Run your middle finger along your clit. Feel the slickness there. With each pass, allow your finger to move deeper toward your pussy. Stroke yourself for me, baby.” My finger has already started to move on its accord. If Brooke bursts in here at this moment, she is in for a show. I try to stave off the moans trying to escape my throat. These walls are thin. “Fucking let me hear you, Lourdes. I want to hear you as you come for me.” My fingers are sliding between my folds even faster now, as I work my clit from the sound of his voice. I’m so close.

  “I cannnnnnnn’t Dieeeeesel,” I let out breathily. The freaking whole dorm will hear me. I bite my lip to suppress my urge to let it out. The wet sounds of my pussy as I stroke faster fill the air of the room.

  “Fuck. I can hear it,” he groans. “I can hear how wet your pussy is. Shit, that makes me wish I was there to slide my dick so deep in you and pound the fucking moans right out of you—have you screaming my name.” That does it. My legs shake as I coat my fingers with my cum. I can’t speak. I bite the pillow, as my orgasm seems to roll on and on. I can hear his heavy breathing, as I lay here incapacitated by strongest orgasm I’ve ever achieved by myself. That was fucking intense.

  “Shit. That…” I can’t even describe it.

  “Hmmm, that good huh? You needed that release. You were wound too tight after our talk this afternoon. I didn’t want you to have to wait until Wednesday. Just wait until you see what I have in store you.” He can be so cryptic. I slide my hand out my underwear but I still can’t move, so I just lay here in savor mode.

  “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “What about your release?” Apparently my orgasmic state has made me bold for the moment.

  “Oh. I think I’ll save it all for you. So be ready.” Jesus. This escalated quickly. “For now, have a hot shower and get some rest. There will be no time for sleeping for what I have in mind.”

  “Really now.” I smile lazily. I can feel my eyes growing heavy. I’m spent, but I know I need to get up and shower. I’m sure I smell like sex.

  “Oh. You’ll see. I don’t bluff. Night, Lourdes.”

  “Night,” I whisper, but he has already clicked off. I drag my ass out of the bed to find something sleep in before heading down the hall to shower. I don’t know where Brooke is, but she and I need to talk tomorrow. I’m too tired to wait up for her tonight. I’m going to shower and call it an early night. I’m not sure what I’m going to tell her yet, but I definitely need to tell her something before Wednesday. I let the hot water rain down on me as I reminisce on what just happened. Diesel has shown himself. He is so much more than I originally thought—more dangerous to be exact.

  I wake up feeling hot. Not turned on. No literally hot from body heat. The room is completely dark, but from the limbs draped across my lower legs, I would say Brooke has decided to crash in my bed. Again. Her bed has so much crap on it. I shove her until I can untangle myself and she grumbles.

  “What time is it?” I can feel her searching around the bed. Luckily this bed is at least full size compared to her twin. “I can’t find my phone.”

  “Ugh. Move over.” I reach under my pillow and grab mine. “It’s a little after six in the morning, pyscho. Why can’t you sleep in your own bed?” I say, only half kidding.

  “Because your bed is bigger and mine has stuff on it,” she points out, like it’s the most logical explanation.

  “You said I could have the bigger bed. Besides if you had this one, you’d just have more crap on it.”

  “True.” She stumbles out of bed and feels around the wall until she finds the light switch. It really sucks not having any windows in here. You can never tell what time of day it is. “Get up, bio
tch. I have a lot to tell you.” I cover my head up, knowing I’m going to get up. Funny thing is; I have a lot to tell her too.

  “What?” I say from underneath the covers. She walks over and yanks them down before she flops next to me.

  “I fucked Mike last night,” she blurts out. “You were supposed to go with me to that house party, ” she adds.

  “I’m glad I didn’t now. I would have just been a third wheel, or worse James would have gotten ideas and would’ve been sadly disappointed.” This doesn’t surprise me about Brooke. She is such a free spirit. If she is feeling you, she goes with it. She doesn’t put on any false pretenses of innocence. If she wants to fuck, she fucks. Sometimes she tells me that she will never talk to the guy again, that she just wanted a sample. Her behavior is worse than a guy’s sometimes.

  “Well, how was it? Do you think you’ll see him again?”

  “It was okay. It wasn’t epic. We were both tipsy as shit. We were at his frat house, so we were lucky not to be interrupted. If he asks me out, I’d consider it. If not, no love loss.” She goes on and on about the party, who all showed up, and told me all about the gossip surrounding one of the sorority girls; who is rumored to be stalking on of the frat guys’s girlfriend. I yawn and try to keep up with it all. I’m so glad I missed it all. Not my kind of crowd at all. “So what happen with the guys? Did they get the record deal?”

  I run down all the details as I remember them. “They have a couple months before they go on the road,” I add. I suspect that she has a crush on Keyser. She always perks up when he’s around.

  “I knew they would get it. How exciting for them. I don’t think it could have happened to a better group of people.” She pauses for a second before continuing. “Speaking of, did you get a chance to talk to Diesel?” I didn’t tell her that I let him ass fuck me in the storage room Friday night. I simply told her that we had things to talk about, in regards to how he left the hotel that morning. That much I had told her about. As of late, I’ve been hiding a lot from her. I guess I just don’t want to hear the negativity. I know that she looks out for me, but she fucks without attachment. Why can’t it be the same for me? I won’t tell her about the whole dominant / submissive aspect of our arrangement, but I have decided to tell her that we have an arrangement. A fuck one.