Till Forever
Page 25
Her eyes lock on mine, and she blinks with surprise at the attention I have on her. My heart does a somersault in my chest at how beautiful she is.
God, this woman does crazy fucking things to me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks in a soft, vulnerable voice, smiling.
I take ahold of her hand in mine and thread our fingers together. “No reason other than I just love looking at you,” I answer simply, honestly.
She’s sexy, beautiful, and breathtaking all at once, and she turns me on like nobody else.
She responds with only a squeeze of my fingers and a coy smile before resuming her eyes on the singer as she croons out Coldplay’s “Yellow.”
About twenty minutes into the singer’s set, she begins to sing my all-time favorite Elvis song—“Can’t Help Falling in Love.” This was originally supposed to be our wedding song, but since my brother and his fiancée—now wife—Ava, pretty much crashed our wedding with their own, we all decided on Ed Sheeran’s “Kiss Me” instead. Of course, I was honored to share my wedding with my big bro, but since Ashton has never been a fan of Elvis Presley, we went with my and Mia’s second choice.
Since we couldn’t have our first dance to this song, my feet instinctively guide me to stand, and I hold my hand out to Mia, so we can finally dance to our first-choice song.
“Dance with me?” I ask.
Her eyes instantly widen with surprise.
She glances around and laughs nervously. “Tyler, no one else is dancing.”
“Who cares? Just dance with me for this one song. Please?” I add with a sugary-sweet smile.
Her eyes meet mine with a little reluctance before she gives in and takes my hand.
I lead her to the large space near the makeshift stage and pull Mia into my arms. We begin to sway slowly to the music. She watches the singer before her eyes drift to mine. She lets out a content sigh, smoothing her hands over my shoulders.
“These last six days have been incredible. I needed this more than I’d ever realized.”
I smile gently as we continue to sway from side to side in time with the strum of the acoustic guitar, the words being sung making this moment one that I will never forget.
“It really has been amazing, huh?”
“So amazing,” she accentuates with a huge smile. “I just wish it didn’t have to end.”
“I know. Me either. But, as much as I don’t want to leave this place, I also can’t wait to get you home. And, FYI, everything will need rechristening. The bed, the sofa, the hot tub I’m definitely going to get installed in the backyard when we get home.”
Mia throws her head back with laughter before shaking her head. “Well, I’m glad I don’t have to be at work until Monday. It seems like we have a pretty busy weekend ahead of us.”
We’re silent for a few beats as we dance on the spot, and as my eyes drift from Mia’s, I’m surprised to find a few more couples have joined us on the now makeshift dance floor.
I look back down to Mia a second later. “You know, if we weren’t already married, I’d definitely be getting down on one knee right about now,” I muse, my thumbs gently caressing against the bottom of her bare back where her dress flows over her hips.
“That would be pretty romantic, but nothing can top the way you proposed to me the first time.”
I smile, remembering the day like it was only yesterday.
“What? You didn’t think it was cliché?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s the whole reason I said yes,” she says with a shit-eating grin.
I proposed to her in the same restaurant we’d had our first date in. I went in the dessert direction—you know, burying the ring in a chocolate cake. Although clichéd, Mia lapped it right up and said yes before I even uttered the words, Will you marry me?
“You would have said yes regardless,” I add cockily.
“Oh, and how do you know that?” she questions with a smirk, her eyes twinkling with humor as we continue swaying side to side.
“Well, if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m kind of irresistible.” I give her a sexy smile, and she giggles. “Seriously though, your mom let it slip pretty early on in our relationship that you’d told her I was the one, so I thought my odds were pretty good after that.”
She shakes her head, fighting back a smile. “She has such a big mouth, but she’s always been on Team Tyler. I realized that when she gave you my address after I specifically asked her not to when we were separated.”
I grin. “I knew your mom loved me. Are you Team Tyler?”
Her hands reach up to my face, and she gazes up at me with a love-filled smile that takes my breath away.
“I’ve always been Team Tyler, even when I didn’t want to be. I think I’m stuck with you,” she says with an amused smile before her eyes turn sober, intense. “Out of the guys to be stuck with, I’m thankful I get to be stuck with you, as you’ve been it for me since the instant I locked eyes on you. You’re my forever, Tyler. Till forever do us part.”
You’re my forever, too, Mia.
Wordlessly, my lips latch on to hers before she can take her next breath, and I lose myself to her every sense, conveying my feelings by claiming her with my mouth because, damn, there’s no way I can follow that up with any kind of spoken word. So, instead, I respond in the only way I can—by spelling out the words with the caress of my tongue.
We land back in Dallas early afternoon the next day, and despite being exhausted—thanks to the zero sleep we got, instead choosing to fuck the night away, not that I’m complaining or anything—we’re heading straight to Mia’s apartment to pack her shit up. The ideal thing would be to try to catch some sleep for a few hours, but I’m not spending another second with us living in two separate places. So, the sooner we pack her stuff up, the sooner I can have her naked and in our bed.
Where she belongs.
After going through customs and security, we head to baggage claim to grab our suitcases before making our way to the exit. As we approach the exit I still in my steps when I hear my name being called out. I turn and see Ashton. Instantly, my stomach drops because he was due to return to Seattle last Sunday, but the fact that he’s here, standing in front of me, is bad.
Really fucking bad.
I instinctively grab Mia’s hand as we approach him. He tries to smile, but it seems forced, and I grit my teeth as I anticipate the worst.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, my heart thundering in my chest, not even bothering with hellos.
His chin trembles with his obvious turmoil, and I tighten my grip on Mia’s hand.
“Mom’s…” He clears his throat, emotion heavy in his voice. “She’s not doing good. She’s dying, Tyler.”
I squint, confused. “I already know that.”
He shakes his head, biting his lip, as if to stop the tears from escaping. “No. I mean, she’s only got hours to live.”
Mia’s breath hitches, whereas mine simply stops.
“How? I thought she had weeks to live?” I ask through heavy exhales.
Ashton drags a hand through his hair, letting out a rugged breath. “It seems she was putting on one heck of a show on Thanksgiving. The day after you left for your trip, she collapsed. We got her straight to the hospital, and what she hadn’t told us was the cough she had was in fact a chest infection. It then turned into pneumonia, and since her cancer is so advanced, her body is rejecting all her medication. She’s in the late stages of respiratory failure. Her organs are quickly shutting down, one by one.”
Fury rises from deep within me, and I can’t keep the next words from spewing from my mouth. “What the fuck? Why the hell did no one fucking call me or Mia? While Mom has been suffering in the hospital, I was away, having the time of my fucking life.”
“I wanted to, Tyler. I did, and so did Jo, but Mom told us under no circumstances were we to call you.”
“So?” I roar. “You should have gone over her head! Jesus, Ashton. We would have caught
the first flight back to Dallas.”
He heavily sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s exactly why she didn’t want us to call you—because you would have done just that.”
I angrily kick my suitcase, causing it to fly back a couple of feet. “I can’t believe this! I could have been here, by her side. God, I knew we shouldn’t have fucking left!”
Mia steps in front of me, pressing her hand to my chest. “Shh, baby, you need to calm down.”
I unintentionally shove her out of the way, causing her to stumble back a little, as I charge at my brother before fisting my hands in his shirt. “You’re my brother, goddamn it. You should have called me! All the time I was in the Dominican Republic, I could have been by her side. You should have fucking called me!”
His face reddens as he glances at Mia behind me, harshly shoving at my chest. “You can put your hands all over me all you want, but if you ever shove your wife away like that again, I will kick your ass,” he seethes.
As if I’ve scalded myself, I immediately drop his shirt and turn to face Mia. My stomach drops as I see how shaken up she seems with her arms wrapped protectively around her, her bottom lip quivering.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” I cry, pulling her into my arms. I bury my head into her hair as a sob leaves my mouth. “I would never intentionally hurt you; you know that. God, I would put a bullet to my head before I ever placed my hands on you,” I growl out, my entire body shaking for pushing her away.
I look down at her to see her nodding, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“I know you would never hurt me,” she says the words, but the tremor that accompanies them makes them sound unbelievable, as if she really thinks I could hurt her.
Goddamn it.
I would never lay a hand on her. Ever.
“Baby, I didn’t mean to shove you. I’m just…it’s my mom,” I explain, as if it’s a good enough excuse when I know it’s far from it.
I struggle to catch my breath, and she tightly grips me, letting out a shuddered cry, while my tears pool in my eyes, panic taking over.
“I know, baby, I know, but instead of blaming Ashton, we should head to the hospital to be with her.”
Then, we both turn toward the booming voice that asks, “Do we have a problem here?”
Security.
Great.
“No, sir, no problems. I’m just here to pick up my brother and his wife,” Ashton answers immediately, trying to appear calm when I know he’s angry—angry with me.
The security guy suspiciously eyes us, and I gently pull Mia under my arm, forcing out a smile.
“Yeah, everything is fine. I was just given some bad news that I didn’t handle all too well. I’m so sorry to cause a scene. We were just leaving.”
The security guy simply nods and allows us to exit. The three of us are silent, eerily so, as we head toward the awaiting car, situated in the short-stay parking lot. The closer we get to the car, the bitterer the taste I have in my mouth. I don’t understand how I could go from having the time of my life to landing in the very pit of hell.
I’ve only been gone for six days. How could she have deteriorated in such a short amount of time? I know she was sick. I could see it with my own eyes when she was trying to deceive me by telling me she was okay. But how could her body give up on her so fucking quickly?
I went on vacation for six days, thinking I’d have at least a few more weeks with her, not mere hours. None of this makes any sense.
Once we reach what I recognize is my dad’s Honda Accord, Ashton opens the trunk and places our suitcases inside. While Mia slips into the backseat, I step up to my brother and grab his arm. Immediately, I know that’s the wrong thing to do with the way his arm tenses at my touch.
“I’m sorry I—”
He shoves me off him and throws me an empty stare. “It’s probably best we don’t speak until we get to the hospital because it’s taking everything within me not to pummel your face.”
I don’t even blink at his words—as this was pretty much our relationship as kids, just wanting to kick each other’s asses—but his words do cripple me. However, I know I deserve it from the way I flipped out on him and how I almost hurt my wife in the cross fire of my anger.
“Ashton…” I try to keep my voice strong, but it wavers.
“Just get in the fucking car,” he demands on a growl.
Instead of pushing any further, I give a curt nod and instead of sitting up front I simply slide in beside Mia, swallowing my emotions down. Ashton starts the ignition, and silence envelops us as he drives us toward the hospital. I clutch hold of Mia’s hand like it’s a life preserver, staring down into my lap, as I try to make sense of the emotions running riot in my mind.
My heart goes into overdrive at the thought of my mother dying. I can’t imagine no longer living in existence with the woman who wiped my shitty ass, kissed my cuts and bruises, tucked me into bed at night, and sang Elvis Presley to me until I fell asleep. She broke up so many fights between my brothers and me that she honestly deserves a medal for putting up with us.
I honestly thought I’d have to wipe her shitty ass when she was eighty years old and turning senile. I never thought she’d go out like this, barely even living out her sixties. I can’t wrap my head around it. She should still have the rest of her years ahead of her, of watching her grandchildren grow up and taking retirement trips. Trips she put on hold to help raise three idiotic boys into the best men we could be. She’s made so many sacrifices, and look where that got her. Dying from a harrowing, cancerous disease that has attacked her, not giving her a chance to fight back, to kick cancer’s ass.
It shouldn’t be ending this way.
Her life should mean more than dying at such a young age.
Jesus, first, death takes my brother, then my daughter, and now, it’s about to take away the person who brought me into this world, who made me into the man I am today. My mama is dying, and there isn’t a goddamn thing I can do about it.
Not a fucking thing!
I angrily hit my fist against my thigh, a sob ripping free from my throat, as I’m unable to keep the emotion contained. “Goddamn it!”
Mia grips hold of my fist and brings it to her chest, forcing me to follow the motion and look her in the eye. “Shh, baby, I’m right here. I’m right here,” she gently speaks, her voice trembling with the same emotion that’s choking me from the inside out.
I nod while tears fall effortlessly from my eyes. She doesn’t tell me everything will be fine because she knows it won’t be. She tells me the only thing she can, the only thing she can be certain of, and knowing she’s by my side means more to me than words can ever speak. I fall into her, my face burying in her chest, as I sob silently at the loss of the woman who hasn’t even died, yet it wrecks me. I might have grown up with the notion from my father that boys didn’t cry, but he never told me about the types of pain you could undergo from the minute you hit puberty and all the way through adulthood.
My brother, my best friend, getting killed in war. My unborn child dying before she was even able to take a single breath. My mother losing a battle to cancer that she didn’t get a chance to fight.
He never told me life would be this hard when he spouted his boys-don’t-cry shit.
Well, look at me now.
Crying like a damn baby.
Fuck him. Fuck everyone. And, more importantly, fuck cancer.
We arrive at the hospital a while later, and as we walk through the halls, the empty pit of dread in the bottom of my stomach makes me feel like I’m walking toward my own death sentence. With every step forward, the trepidation becomes more intense until I’m standing right outside the private room in the same hospital where my mother worked for so many years. Then, I’m downright fucking terrified of walking through the door and seeing my dying mom.
Suddenly, my anger from earlier doesn’t seem important anymore. I was a jackass, I know that, but I can’t go inside that room with t
he tension currently radiating between me and Ashton. We can’t let Mom leave this earth, knowing her two boys have fallen out. Even though it’s been the norm for us since forever, we are grown fucking men, so we should be able to work out our differences like men. More importantly, I don’t want to carry any aggression into the room. I won’t do that to her. Not now.
Clutching Mia’s hand in mine, I look to Ashton, who’s still avoiding my eyes.
“Ashton,” I call out, my voice shaky and uneven.
His eyes slowly meet mine, and I can see the same heartbreak in them that is currently suffocating my every sense.
“I’m sorry about before. I can’t go in there with you mad at me; it’s not fair to Mom. And I really need my big brother right now,” I say, my bottom lip trembling as I hold out my hand for him.
I don’t think I’ve held his hand since I was just a toddler, so he would help me cross the street, and just like he did back then, I need him to help me cross the street—the street being the metaphor for what awaits us behind that door.
He slaps his hand into mine and pulls me to his chest. “I stopped being mad at you ages ago.”
A sob-filled sigh of relief leaves my lips. I pull back and stare at him. “Good, because I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, too, man,” I tell him.
We might not have been as close as I was with Christopher, but he’s my big brother. He’s the person I’ve always looked up to, the person who wasn’t my best friend, but my best man.
He heavily gulps before giving a single nod of his head, sadness contorting his entire face.
I pat him on the cheek in a brotherly way before turning to Mia, whose face is wet with her own tears. I let out a long breath as I take in her sadness, and it’s taking everything within me not to break down again, but I can’t just yet. I need to be strong while I say good-bye to my mom. Afterward, I can cry a fucking river, but for now, I need to bury my emotions. I take Mia’s hand and bring it up to my lips as I brace myself for what I need to do next.