Her body came to rest against his and she felt the fire inside her grow even hotter. Could Elliot feel it too? she wondered, staring into his set face. Feel the heat and the desire growing stronger, or was he immune to her nearness? A shudder ran through her when she felt his body suddenly stir to life. When he bent towards her, Polly didn’t move. She simply stood there, waiting for the moment when his mouth would claim hers. What would happen after that was unknown, but it didn’t matter what happened in the future. It was this kiss that mattered, the first touch of his mouth on hers, the first taste of his lips...
A loud crash from upstairs broke the spell. Elliot didn’t utter a word as he pushed her away from him but he didn’t need to. Polly could tell from his expression how he felt and her heart ached. It wasn’t right that he should feel such remorse because he had wanted to kiss her. For once in his life, he had allowed his emotions to lead the way and she knew that he wouldn’t let it happen again, that he would redouble his efforts to remain detached. She bit her lip to hold back the wave of sadness that engulfed her. That kiss which had promised so much had done untold damage.
* * *
Joseph was lying on the floor, crying, when Elliot went into his room. He scooped him up and laid him gently back on the bed, feeling his heart racing. Fear that his son had hurt himself had combined with a sense of self-loathing. He had come within a hair’s breadth of kissing Polly and he would regret it until his dying day. Polly was the last woman he should get involved with. She had baggage—truckloads of baggage!—and he needed to stay well away from her. He knew all that and yet in another second he would have kissed her and kept on kissing her too. What was wrong with him? Why was he behaving this way? Was he having some sort of crisis because he had given up the life he knew in London and moved here? Or was the explanation even less complicated than that? After all, it had been months since he had slept with a woman, so wasn’t it more likely that it had been a natural response to her nearness?
‘Is everything all right?’
Elliot spun round, his stomach knotting with tension when he saw Polly standing in the doorway. Try as he might, he couldn’t hold onto the idea that it had been the lack of sex that had been the trigger for his actions. It was Polly he had wanted to kiss and no other woman would have done. The minute he’d felt her body against his, his desire had awoken. How or why she had this effect on him, he didn’t know, but there was no point trying to deny it. On the contrary, he needed to face up to how he felt and accept how vulnerable he was where she was concerned. Maybe then he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
‘Polly! I didn’t know you were here.’
The excitement in Joseph’s voice brought Elliot back to the present with a rush and his mouth thinned. The last thing he wanted was Joseph reading anything into the fact that Polly was here in their house. Maybe she wasn’t responsible for calling off her wedding as those rumours claimed, but she definitely had major issues to deal with at the moment. There was no way that he wanted to risk Joseph growing attached to her so the less contact his son had with her the better...
The less contact he had with her too, the better it would be, Elliot amended hurriedly.
‘I only popped in for a few minutes,’ Polly said quietly as she walked over to the bed. ‘So what happened? That was quite a thud, young man.’
‘I was trying to reach my tablet and fell out of bed,’ Joseph explained, his tears forgotten. ‘I didn’t hurt myself though ’cos I landed on the rug.’
‘Well, that’s good to know. You landed with such a thump that I thought the ceiling was going to fall in. It may very well do so the next time so you’d better be careful in future.’
Joseph laughed, forgetting the fright he’d had. Elliot was very aware that he would have handled things differently and that it might not have had the same effect either. Would it have been better to lecture Joseph about the need to take more care or was Polly’s way, making a joke of what had happened, best after all? It was hard to decide and his own indecision annoyed him. He didn’t enjoy having doubts about his parenting skills!
‘So long as you’re sure you didn’t hurt yourself then it’s time you went to sleep.’ He bent down and kissed Joseph, reluctantly moving aside so Polly could kiss him as well.
‘Night, night, sleep tight,’ she murmured, ruffling Joseph’s hair. ‘Mind the bed bugs don’t bite.’
‘That’s funny.’ Joseph grinned up at her. ‘Did you make it up?’
‘No. It’s something my mummy used to say to me when I was a little girl.’
‘I don’t have a mummy,’ Joseph told her, solemnly. ‘She didn’t want me ’cos my legs don’t work properly.’
Elliot was appalled. Whenever Joseph had asked about his mother, he had told him that she lived in another country and that was why they didn’t see her. He’d had no idea that Joseph had worked out the truth for himself and didn’t know what to say. He glanced at Polly and could tell how shocked she was too. No wonder, he thought grimly. Very few women would have rejected their own child so callously, the way Marianna had done.
‘No more chat,’ he said firmly, bending down to kiss Joseph a second time, not that it would make up for his mother abandoning him. His heart was aching as he straightened but he forced himself to smile. ‘It’s school in the morning, don’t forget, and you’ll be tired if you don’t get to sleep.’
‘OK,’ Joseph murmured, closing his eyes. He suddenly opened them again and looked at Polly. ‘When are you coming to see us again, Polly? Can you come this weekend? Then I can show you the pictures I’ve drawn. They’re really good.’
‘I’m not sure, sweetheart.’ Polly glanced at him and Elliot found himself holding his breath. He didn’t want her making any promises, didn’t want her becoming involved in Joseph’s life in any way at all. She had suffered a major shock recently and she needed time to get over it. Although spending time with Joseph might fill a gap for her at the moment, she would soon grow tired of being with him. He certainly didn’t intend to run the risk of Joseph getting hurt if and when that happened. When Joseph opened his mouth to say something else, Elliot quickly forestalled him.
‘That’s quite enough for one night, young man. It’s time you were asleep so settle down and close your eyes.’
Thankfully, Joseph did as he was told this time, although Elliot guessed it was only a temporary reprieve. Now that Joseph had seen Polly again he would keep asking to see her and it was the last thing Elliot wanted. He followed Polly downstairs, waiting while she fetched her bag from the sitting room. They were both rather subdued as he saw her out but that was to be expected after everything that had happened.
Elliot sighed as he closed the front door and made his way to the kitchen. It had been quite a night, one way and another. Apart from the worry about Joseph growing attached to Polly, there were his own feelings to consider. He had come so close to committing a massive error tonight and there was no way that he wanted to risk it happening again. Oh, maybe he should be able to guarantee it wouldn’t now that he understood how vulnerable he was, but it wasn’t that simple. There was something about Polly that pressed all his buttons and made him behave completely out of character. Tonight was the perfect example of that. He’d had no intention of kissing her yet the minute he had touched her, it was as though he had turned into someone else, someone who allowed his emotions to dictate his actions, and it scared him. Polly had the ability to disrupt his life as well as Joseph’s and that was why he needed to stay well away from her in the future.
Elliot picked up the bottle of wine he had bought and put it in the fridge because the last thing he needed was alcohol clouding his brain. He had to keep a clear head and recognise the dangers for what they were. The fact was that he couldn’t trust himself where Polly was concerned. Maybe Joseph would be disappointed about not seeing her again but he would get over it, as he himself would g
et over this...this crush he seemed to have on her. That was what it was, of course, an infatuation, and nothing more than that. It would soon disappear if he didn’t see her.
Elliot switched off the lights and made his way upstairs, deciding he would have an early night. Eight hours’ sleep would help to clear his head and set him back on course, he assured himself as he undressed. He slid beneath the duvet and closed his eyes, but sleep proved elusive. When it did finally claim him, his dreams were full of what had happened that night, full of Polly: the scent of her skin; the heat of her body; the sweet promise of her lips...
He came awake with a rush, his heart pounding, his blood racing through his veins. If this was a crush then it wasn’t going to be easy to rid himself of it!
CHAPTER SEVEN
POLLY FOUND IT impossible to put what had happened out of her mind as she drove home It wasn’t only that near-miss kiss that troubled her, although that had been disturbing enough. It was what Joseph had said about his mother. It was hard to believe that the woman didn’t want any contact with him because of his disability, yet Polly had seen the anguish on Elliot’s face and knew it was true. It made her realise what a difficult time Elliot must have had, caring for Joseph without any support from his mother. It was the ultimate betrayal and she could understand why he was so determined not to let anyone get close to him again. Having been let down so badly, why would he want to risk it happening again?
The thought stayed with her so that she felt tired and drained when she went to work the following morning. Her first appointment was at Applethwaite Farm, where she was going to see Lauren. Lauren and Sam had taken over one of the old farmworkers’ cottages and turned it into a comfortable home, independent of Sam’s parents, who lived in the main farmhouse. Lauren greeted Polly with a smile when she knocked on the door. She had completely recovered from the operation to remove her appendix and was now fifteen weeks pregnant. She had put on quite a lot of weight and her baby bump was already very noticeable, much to her delight. However, Polly wanted to make sure that Lauren understood it was better not to gain too much weight so soon.
‘You’ve gained another pound since I last weighed you,’ she observed, making a note on Lauren’s chart. ‘Ideally, you should put on between four to six pounds in the first trimester and about a pound per week during the following two trimesters. I want you to be a bit more careful about what you eat, Lauren.’
‘I’ll try, but my mother-in-law keeps popping over with all sorts of delicious food.’ Lauren grimaced. ‘It’s hard to resist when it’s sitting there in front of you, especially as Diane is such a wonderful cook.’
‘It must be.’ Polly laughed ruefully. ‘I just wish someone would pop over with something delicious for me. It’s no fun cooking for one.’
‘I’m sure it isn’t,’ Lauren said sympathetically. ‘I was so sorry about you and Martin, Polly. I always thought you made a lovely couple but I suppose these things happen. And if you’ve met someone else—’ Lauren broke off, looking embarrassed at having said too much.
Polly sighed. ‘So you’ve heard the rumours then? All I can say is they’re a load of nonsense because there is no one else.’
‘But Maureen is going round telling everyone that she saw you with him!’ Lauren exclaimed. ‘Has she been making it up? Because if she has then that’s an awful thing to do.’
‘I’m sure it wasn’t deliberate,’ Polly said hastily, not wanting to cause any trouble. The last thing she needed was people taking sides. ‘Maureen just read more into what she saw than there actually was. Remember that man who ran into the back of your van? Well, she saw me with him.’
‘He’s the one you’ve been seeing?’ Lauren said in surprise.
‘Yes. No. What I mean is that he’s the one I’m supposed to have been seeing,’ Polly said, stumbling over her words as she tried to explain.
‘But Maureen said you two were holding hands,’ Lauren pointed out.
‘I was checking his pulse,’ Polly corrected her. ‘I was worried in case he’d injured himself when he ran into you...’ She tailed off, realising how unlikely it sounded even though it was true.
‘Oh. Right. Well, I can see how people might have got the wrong idea,’ Lauren said gamely, although it was obvious that she was finding it hard to believe the story.
Polly decided to leave it there. She had a nasty feeling that she might end up digging herself an even deeper hole if she said anything else. She finished examining Lauren and left, refusing the cup of coffee she was offered as she didn’t want to have to answer any more awkward questions. She did two more home visits and it was clear that the rumours had reached even the furthest corners of Beesdale. Polly did her best to pass them off as nothing more than idle speculation, but she could tell that nobody really believed her. What made it worse was that there was a mother-and-baby clinic that afternoon at the surgery which she was taking and she knew that she would have to run the gauntlet all over again. Everyone was curious and who could blame them? Calling off a wedding at the very last moment wasn’t something that most couples did and folk were bound to want to know the ins and outs of why she and Martin had taken such a drastic step. She sighed, knowing there was very little she could do to stop the gossip. She would just have to put up with it until she left.
The thought of leaving the place where she had grown up was a painful one. As she drove into the surgery car park, Polly realised that she would miss living here, miss the people too, even if they did gossip a lot! She turned off the engine then paused as another thought struck her: she was going to miss Elliot and Joseph too. They had become an important part of her life, even though she wasn’t sure why. It was going to be hard to move away and not know what happened to them in the future. Although she could probably find out if she kept in touch with her friends at the surgery, what would be the point? Elliot didn’t want her in his life and in a way she couldn’t blame him. After everything he had been through, it was little wonder that he wasn’t interested in having another relationship. He had turned his back on love and she doubted if anyone could change his mind.
It was hard to shake off that thought as she got ready for the afternoon’s clinic. Beth Andrews was first through the door. Beth was one of the doctors at The Larches. She was currently on maternity leave and wasn’t due to return to work until later in the year. Now she grimaced as she carried baby Beatrix over to the table to be weighed.
‘This little madam has been awake since four a.m. I’m shattered even if she’s not!’
‘The joys of motherhood,’ Polly replied, drumming up a laugh. It obviously wasn’t convincing because Beth looked at her in concern.
‘What’s up? It isn’t all those stupid rumours, is it? Marie told me about the latest. You wonder how people come up with such rubbish, don’t you?’ Beth rolled her eyes as she started to undress Beatrix. ‘I mean, you’re supposed to have been seen holding hands with some guy and that’s why you ditched Martin, because you’re having an affair. As if!’
‘I know. It’s crazy, isn’t it?’ Polly sighed. ‘People see something and get the completely wrong idea.’
‘So you were holding hands with someone!’ Beth exclaimed.
‘Not exactly. I was checking his pulse, to be precise.’ She quickly explained about the accident and what had happened later.
Beth chuckled. ‘It’s typical that Maureen should add two and two and come up with a hundred. Not that it will worry her, mind you. She’s having far too much fun telling everyone what she thought she saw!’
‘Don’t I know it? It’s amazing how fast news travels. I was at a couple of the outlying farms this morning and even they had heard all about my supposed exploits. I tell you, Beth, I’m sick and tired of being seen as some sort of scarlet woman!’
‘You must be,’ Beth said sympathetically. ‘I know how hard it is when folk start gossiping ab
out you. I’ve had my share, I can tell you, since Beatrix was born.’
‘Really!’ Polly exclaimed in surprise.
‘Oh, yes. There’s been speculation about who’s this little one’s daddy.’ Beth shrugged. ‘I suppose it’s understandable in a way because Callum’s not been seen around here for such a long time. I’ve just ignored it as there is no way I’m telling everyone that Beatrix was conceived the night he went away. That’s my business and nobody else’s.’
‘I wish I could do the same but it isn’t that simple.’ Polly sighed when Beth looked at her. ‘The man I’m supposed to be having an affair with is none too happy about what’s being said. He has a son, you see, and he’s worried that Joseph will hear the gossip and get the wrong idea.’
‘Hmm, tricky. I don’t know what to suggest, to be honest. If you kick up a fuss then people will only think there’s some truth to the rumours. The old “the lady doth protest too much” scenario,’ Beth added wryly, making quotation marks with her fingers.
‘Exactly. I tried explaining that to Elliot but he wouldn’t have it. He’s not at all happy about being dragged into this.’
‘You don’t mean Elliot Grey, do you?’ Beth whistled when Polly nodded. ‘That must be awkward. Oh, I know you don’t have a lot of contact with the hospital but you’re in the same field so you’re bound to come across him from time to time.’
‘And he isn’t happy about that either. If Elliot had his way then he would ban all community midwives, it seems,’ Polly declared hotly. She took a deep breath when she saw the surprise on Beth’s face. She didn’t want her friend to guess how much it hurt to know how determined Elliot was to keep her out of every aspect of his life. ‘Anyway, I’m sure it will all work out in the end once people find something else to talk about.’
‘I’m sure it will. I just wish you didn’t have to put up with this on top of everything else,’ Beth said sympathetically. ‘Calling off the wedding couldn’t have been an easy decision for you and Martin. It took guts, in my opinion.’
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