Christmas Miracles

by MacLean, Julianne

  “It must have been very cold.”

  “Yes.”

  He looked in her ear with the otoscope. “Did you swallow a lot of water?”

  She nodded again. “Yes, and I couldn’t breathe. I was kicking my arms and legs, but the waves were big. They kept splashing me in the face.”

  I had to fight to stay strong as I listened to her describe the details, because the image of my daughter thrashing about in the water, all alone and panicking, was not an easy one to swallow. I hated myself for losing sight of her, for not being able to protect her.

  “Then I drowned,” she said plainly, “and I died and went to heaven.”

  The doctor simply nodded at this, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her to say.

  “But your mommy brought you back to life because she’s an excellent nurse. You’re a very lucky girl.” He moved to the foot of the bed. “Can you wiggle your toes for me? Very good.” Returning to her side, he asked, “How are you feeling now? Overall.”

  “My chest hurts a little,” she shyly replied, and pointed at her heart. “Right here.”

  He raised her hospital gown and examined some bruising where I had been doing chest compressions for over five minutes. He felt around the area, asked her to tell him if it hurt when he put pressure on it. Then he glanced across at me. “You were quite a hero today.”

  “No, really, I was just a mom.”

  “You saved your daughter’s life.”

  A lump formed in my throat and I had to lower my gaze.

  He tested Louise for strength, sensations, and reflexes and asked her questions to determine if she had suffered any neurological damage because of a lack of oxygen to her brain. There was no evidence of that, which was a relief to say the least, and I suspected that the cold water had slowed down her body systems, which helped bring her back.

  When he finished examining her, he turned to me and said that he saw no reason to admit her. He then told me what to watch out for at home, and if there were any issues at all, to come back and have her checked out right away.

  He said good-bye to Louise and pushed past the privacy curtain, but I still had questions, which I didn’t want to ask in front of Louise. I told her to wait there, that I would be right back.

  I caught up with the doctor by the nurses’ station. “Dr. Patterson. Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.” He turned to face me.

  I glanced uncertainly at the women behind the desk and felt suddenly self-conscious, so I pulled him aside, down the corridor, and spoke in a hushed tone.

  “Do you see many children who say they died and went to heaven?”

  He considered that for a moment. “No, I can’t say that I do.”

  “But you didn’t seem to find it strange at all—that she would say something like that.”

  He studied my face. “No, I just thought it was something you must have said to her. I assumed you’re religious.”

  I shook my head. “No. I mean, yes, we go to church, but I didn’t tell her anything. I certainly didn’t tell her that she died.”

  His eyebrows pulled together with concern. “Did she say anything else about it? That she saw a light, or anything like that?”

  “Not a light, exactly,” I replied, “but I haven’t questioned her very much. She did mention clouds and sunlight, so maybe she did see that, I don’t know. What I find most strange is that she told me she saw her grandfather, but she’s never known him because he died long before she was born.” I paused and took a breath, trying to make sense of it. “The way she described him… It was like she knew him intimately. Affectionately. She called him Grampy.”

  Dr. Patterson simply stared at me. I suspected he didn’t have the slightest clue what to say.

  I shivered a little and rubbed my upper arms. “You’ve never encountered anything like this before? With a child who died or flatlined?”

  “No, but I’ve certainly heard plenty of stories about near-death experiences. I just never met anyone who actually had one.”

  A couple of nurses walked by, and I waited until they passed. “So… Do you think that’s what it was? Do you think she experienced the afterlife?”

  Hearing myself say the words felt completely crazy.

  He quickly held up a hand. “Now, now, I don’t know anything about that. I don’t really subscribe to those beliefs.”

  “How would you explain it then?” I quickly countered, although I wasn’t trying to argue with him. I wasn’t even sure I subscribed to those beliefs myself. I just wanted to know what he thought.

  He shrugged a shoulder. “I think that when we die, there are all sorts of electrical impulses in the brain that can cause hallucinations.”

  Suddenly, I did find myself wanting to argue with him…

  “But isn’t there evidence that some people see and hear things on the operating table when they flatline? I’ve heard stories where people say they floated up to the ceiling and witnessed everything that was happening while they were clinically dead.”

  He scratched the back of his neck, as if he were uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking. “Maybe, but as far as I know, there’s no scientific proof of any afterlife, but it’s not my field. If you like, I could ask for a psych consult.”

  Psych?

  No. Absolutely not. I had no desire to go that route with my daughter. Not at this stage.

  “Um…” I pretended to think about it. “No, thank you. Let’s just leave it for now. Maybe she was imagining it, or dreaming. I don’t know. I’ll keep an eye on her and let you know if she needs to be seen. Thank you.”

  I turned away from him and hurried back to Louise.

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