Dazed (The Deliverance Series Book 1)

by Maria Macdonald

  “What did you think I would say?”

  Caden shrugs then turns to me. “I thought you would be understanding. I didn’t think it would change anything, but you never truly know a person.” His jaw ticks and he slides his eyes away. “You said your brother was gay, but I don’t know what happened between the two of you. I’ve only known you for a little over a month, but there’s something about you, something I trust completely. It felt right to tell you.”

  I squeeze his fingers which are still laced through mine. “I feel the same,” I admit. “I’ll tell you about my brother.”

  Caden nods.

  “But not now,” I add tipping my chin toward the pool hall.

  Caden closes his eyes, almost in defeat. It’s like he forgot where we were and what we were doing. “I need to ask you something before we go in there.” His words are hurried out.

  “What?” I reply feeling my heartbeat spike at his tone.

  “Listen, I haven’t got a lot of time to go through the motions and explain everything right now, but I will.” He runs a finger along my cheek. “I promise you I will. For right now, I need to know if you’re seeing anyone?” I shake my head at his question. “Not interested in anyone at all?” I grit my teeth as an image of Tarrant flashes through my head.

  “No,” I reply softly.

  “You’re sure?” he urges.

  “Yes. What is this about, Caden?”

  “Oh God,” he replies and drops his head back to the headrest, closing his eyes once again.

  “Caden?”

  “Okay, it’s like this,” he says moving to face me once again. “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

  “What?” I whisper, disbelief prickling on my skin.

  “Ugh,” he huffs out. “Look, I hate asking you to put your social life on hold for me, but I need to have a girlfriend. I know how this is going to sound.” He stops and rubs the back of his neck, seemingly embarrassed. “But I have a fair amount of women flirting with me. Then I have guys asking why I’m not hooking up with any of them. In my last school, I had a girl who pretended with me. She was a lesbian and her family was really religious. It was a win, win for both of us. You’d be doing me a huge favor, Laura,” he finishes pleadingly.

  The first feeling that invades my body is anger. “Were you using me?” I spit out.

  Caden’s eyes widen with confusion. “What?”

  “Well, you befriend me and then suddenly I’m convenient, someone who can cover your tracks for you.” I pull my hands from his and cross my arms over my chest.

  “Laura,” he chokes out, and right then I know he never had an agenda.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him on a sigh, loosening my arms.

  “I wouldn’t… ever—”

  “I know,” I cut him off. “I wasn’t thinking straight, and I don’t have many friends. For a moment it all seemed so… planned.” I wince on my last word.

  “I get it. If I were in your position I’d think that too. Listen, it’s no big deal. I can pretend to them all that I’m hung up on you, but that you’re not interested in me.”

  “There’s no guy, I’m completely single.” I swallow hard.

  One side of his mouth inches up, and he gives me a lopsided smile before pulling me into his chest and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I release all my tension knowing we’re both okay again.

  “I’ll boof fif,” I mumble into his hoodie.

  “What?” He chuckles pulling us apart and holding my shoulders as his eyes search mine.

  “I’ll do it,” I tell him softly.

  His mouth drops open slightly. “You don’t have to. Nothing will change between us. Honestly, it will just be nice to have someone who really knows me.”

  I look up to him and place my hands on his cheeks. “I said I’d do it, okay?” I reply.

  Caden pulls me back into his chest. “I love you, Laura. Thank God I found you.”

  His words bring a tear to my eye and I look out of the truck window at the night stars wondering if Aiden sent Caden to me.

  After a few moments of holding onto one another, I pull away and stare at him. “Why now?” I question. Caden tilts his head a gives it a little shake. “Why did you suddenly want to tell me this, to ask me to be your fake girlfriend?”

  “You look hot,” is his reply, and I arch an eyebrow having no idea what he’s talking about. “This,” he says pointing to my jacket and leggings. “This isn’t you.” I can hear a hint of what seems like sadness.

  “Oh, this? Yeah, Morgan had free rein tonight. She made me into what I used to be.”

  Caden’s eyes are questioning, but when I offer no more he doesn’t probe.

  “What does my outfit have to do with anything?” I respond.

  “If the guys see you looking like this, I doubt you’ll be single for much longer.” He smirks at me, and I shake my head with a tut. “It’s true. I’m sorry I’m a jerk. Any decent friend would have let you walk in there tonight with a shot at love.” He looks down, embarrassed by his confession.

  “Let’s be clear, Caden, most of the guys in there aren’t looking for love.” I snort, which leads him to laugh at me. I follow, and we both end up in a fit of laughter before he wipes away the happy tears which have pooled under my eyes.

  “You coming in?” A smooth, deep, sexy voice together with a thump on the window comes from Caden’s side of the car, and my eyes once again collide with Tarrant. I see a momentary flare of something I can’t read before he’s back to indifference.

  “Yeah, we’re coming,” Caden replies jumping out of the truck and pulling his brother in for a hug with that back-slapping thing that guys seem to do.

  I take about half a second to digest what I’ve agreed to. “Showtime,” I mutter to myself.

  My hands sweat, and my heart thumps in my chest. I’m staring at Tarrant and I’m pretty sure—considering Caden has just introduced me as his girlfriend—that the way I’m looking at him is wholly inappropriate.

  “Laura?” Caden laughs awkwardly and nudges me pretty hard—seeing as he’s a hulk compared to me—I stumble forward. Tarrant catches me, and I glance up in time to see his narrowed eyes on Caden.

  “Sorry,” Caden apologizes and pulls me from Tarrant’s hands.

  I hate him.

  At this moment, I hate Caden.

  My body feels like a magnet being pulled from where it truly belongs.

  Shaking my head, I mumble, “Pull it together Miss Stalky McPsycho.”

  “What was that?” Caden asks and Tarrant laughs. I’m crossing my fingers in the hope that he didn’t hear my motor mouth.

  “Hey Laura, you’re my brother’s new girl, huh?” I look up and meet his assessing eyes—they don’t move from mine. There’s no perusal of my body like most guys, and I’m unsure whether I’m pleased or annoyed by that. I force my own eyes not to wander. If he can keep himself in check, then so can I. It’s like a little game between us, one he doesn’t even realize he’s playing.

  “Yep,” I answer breezily, even letting the P ‘pop.’ From the corner of my vision I see Caden turn and look at me, no doubt surprised by my chirpiness, something that isn’t usually my forte.

  Tarrant shrugs, a small grin playing on his lips. “Come on, meet the others,” he says, and before I can respond he turns and walks away.

  “Are you okay?” Caden asks, bringing me out of my Tarrant daze.

  Confusion whirs inside me. It’s like my body is on high alert, attuned completely to Tarrant. I knew when we locked eyes across the lunch hall all those weeks ago that the feelings buzzing at the surface, the feelings that are totally alien to me, were more than just me admiring a hot guy.

  Fuck. I curse myself internally.

  I like Tarrant—no—I more than like him.

  But now, I’m kinda his brother’s girlfriend, albeit a fake one.

  I stamp my foot like a toddler forgetting I have spiked heels and at the same time miscalculating my placement of said heel, I en
d up clumsily treading on my own foot.

  “Fuck!” I curse outwardly this time so Caden and most of the people within a block radius can hear.

  “Shit, are you okay?” Caden asks, half concerned, half trying not to laugh as tears gather in my eyes.

  “Peachy,” I squeak out. I want to sob big heaving wails like a kid who’s dropped her ice cream cone. Instead, I bite my bottom lip hard until Caden gently pulls it from my teeth with his thumb and forefinger.

  “Do I want to know what that was all about?” he questions softly.

  I shake my head trying to compose myself. His response is to nod and offer me his arm. “Come on. I gotta take my girl to face the wolves.”

  I wince, pretty sure he’s only half joking.

  “Larry, you trying to run with the big girls?” Selina’s lip curls.

  I sigh and close my eyes momentarily, trying to rein in my annoyance, then continue sipping my diet soda as I watch Caden playing pool with a guy I don’t recognize… Sam, I think his name is. I got introduced to a handful of Caden’s friends before I was deposited at the bar with a drink. Selina and her crew only arrived ten minutes ago, but she made a beeline straight for me like I knew she would. Somehow, without my normal attire, I feel more vulnerable.

  “I spy the green-eyed monster,” Morgan sings out next to me, then laughs as Selina slams her drink down.

  “Jealous of her? You have got to be kidding me, Reed!” she snaps back using Morgan’s last name.

  Morgan bursts into a fit of giggles and I can’t help but smile.

  “And what have you got to smile about Cooper?” Her eyes are now pointed in my direction, and the glint in them can only mean bad things for me. “Morgan no doubt made you wear something half decent tonight,” she sneers pointing at my leather jacket which I’m holding over my arm. “You and I both know that tomorrow you’ll be back in those God awful items you believe are clothes, but the rest of the population only see as a cry for help—”

  “I don’t know, I kinda like the cartoon character hoodies, they’re cute,” Tarrant cuts her off slinging an arm around my shoulder. My whole body tenses, and he must feel it because a quiet chuckle rumbles through his chest tickling my side with its movement. His fingertips create patterns on my bare shoulder, and I’m not sure if this is what heart failure feels like, but I take a second to wonder as it stutters in my chest. Forget butterflies, I have bats on amphetamines flying around my stomach. Right then I want to slap my own face and give myself a stern talking to, something along the lines of never letting a guy turn me to mush.

  On the plus side, watching Selina open and shut her mouth repeatedly makes me snigger. Her eyes pin me, and I bite my bottom lip desperately trying not to make the situation worse. I’ve never been afraid of Selina, and that hasn’t changed. However, I don’t need to encourage her attention.

  “Tarrant, yeah, I mean… those tops are nice,” she stutters then composes herself as her eyes narrow on me. “But, like on the right person. On her they just make her look like an even bigger reject.”

  “And that’s my cue to leave.” I smile ducking under Tarrant’s arm and taking a sidestep before he can catch me. He turns to look at me, and I feel like he doesn’t want me to leave. With a smile I shake my head at him. His return frown makes me shrug my shoulders, and I hope he understands my need to leave. Walking outside, Morgan quickly catches up to me.

  “What are you doing?” she questions tugging my elbow and bringing me to a halt while also spinning me to face her.

  “I’ve had enough for one night.”

  “That there…” she says stabbing her finger toward the pool hall, “… is your answer. You’re Caden’s girlfriend now.”

  “W-what?” I stumble out.

  “Selina won’t be able to get away with treating you like shit if you’re Caden McHottie’s girlfriend. He’s the key.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose and open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off.

  “And while we’re on the subject… seriously, you’re his girlfriend now? When did that happen?” She confuses me, and I start pinching my nose harder.

  “Erm,” I squeak out, trying to pull my thoughts together.

  “I heard him introducing you to a few of his friends when I came back from using the bathroom. What confuses me is that it was my best friend he was referring to.”

  “No. It’s not like that,” I reply.

  “What’s going on? You don’t suddenly become someone’s girlfriend without talking to me. That’s not how you operate. Hell, you don’t become someone’s girlfriend period. You’ve been on the no-guy train for so long I was wondering whether you were asexual.” She laughs heartily

  “Asexual?” I ask dropping my hand and raising an eyebrow at her.

  She claps her hands together with a wicked grin and giggles. “Yes. Do you remember when Sandy Crossine took a liking to you? She was openly gay and asked me to talk to you. Do you remember what you said? Something like the mood swings didn’t do it for you… or period problems annoyed you. Ugh, what was it…“

  “I said I barely deal with my own PMS. Trying to control the need to staple dick pics to Selina’s head is a full-time job for a week every month. The last thing I needed was to be another bitch’s alibi when she was PMSing,” I repeat what I told her before.

  “Yes, that!” She jumps up and down clapping her hands together. “There you are, that only leaves asexual.”

  I rub my hand down my face. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” I tell her.

  “What about your boyfriend?” She grins.

  “I’ll text him, okay?” I say pulling out my phone.

  Me: Going home. Had enough of the ‘in crowd.’ I need to tell Morgan the truth about us.

  I slip the cell back into my pocket and walk silently with Morgan to the main street.

  “Taxi,” Morgan shouts waving her hand about. We’re lucky that there’s a taxi driving by. This isn’t New York, and normally you need to call to order one. Dumb luck.

  My phone vibrates and I pull it out, the glow from the screen blinds me for a second.

  Caden: No! What if she talks? Why did you leave? Are you okay? Do you need me?

  I quickly tap my reply.

  Me: I’m fine. Just can’t deal with Selina. Don’t come over. Morgan is my best friend. She won’t say anything.

  Caden: Please don’t. Soon, but not yet. Please.

  I huff out a sigh.

  Me: Fine. But this is a big ask. I will have to tell her soon, or we will have to ‘break up.’

  Even as I type the words, I roll my eyes at the situation.

  Caden: Understood. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch.

  The taxi is silent except the tinny sound of samba music.

  “So.” Morgan’s voice makes me jump. “What’s going on with you and the McHottie jock?”

  I manage to stifle a groan but know I have to tell her something. I don’t want to lie. However, when I agreed to do this with Caden, I told him that I would keep his secret. I need to take a breath and think before agreeing to things in the future.

  “He’s my boyfriend,” I answer simply, zipping and unzipping the bottom of my jacket.

  “Stop,” Morgan says grabbing my hand. “He’s your boyfriend?” My eyes meet hers and I can’t ignore the hurt there.

  “If I tell you that Caden is technically my boyfriend, but that there’s more to it, and I can’t explain that more right now, would you accept that?” I plead.

  Her pretty brown eyes turn misty as she searches mine. Whatever thoughts are running through her head stop suddenly as her eyes clear, and she nods sharply.

  “Always,” she whispers.

  I wrap my arms around her and pull her onto my shoulder. “I love you,” I whisper back.

  “You have to, no one else would put up with your crap… well, maybe Caden,” she muses.

  “Aaron wasn’t there tonight.” The words slip out, and as her body tenses I want to kick myself.r />
  “Yeah. The guys said he was out on a date with Heidi Monroe.”

  “They told you that?” I shout making her jump. “I can’t believe they would be so insensitive.” My adrenaline is pumping. I pull away from her and cross my arms annoyed.

  “No.” She half chuckles. “I was walking to the bathroom. You were still outside talking to the hot twins. Anyway, Marvin was chatting loudly standing around with the guys, and I couldn’t help but overhear. The truth is that I don’t think they had any idea that I was there listening to their conversation.”

  “Oh honey, I’m sorry,” I console pulling her back toward me.

  “His loss, dickwad.”

  “Dickwad?” I smile

  “His new name, seems fitting,” she replies, and we both giggle.

  Silence descends but as my eyes are starting to close listening to the driver’s music, Morgan startles me. “Be careful. Whatever you’re doing with Caden, please be careful.”

  I swallow down the emotion and squeeze her tighter.

  These last two weeks have been strange. People who have never even said hello before suddenly want a piece of me. It’s frustrating, and I want to punch most of them in the throat… a lot. However, in the interest of helping Caden and finally giving Morgan what she’s always wanted—namely a party partner—I have smiled and acted as the ever-dutiful girlfriend.

  Caden, to give him some credit, has repeatedly apologized for putting me in a predicament that he knows would make me uncomfortable and I have—equally as often—reminded him that he didn’t twist my arm, I agreed to it all of my own free will. I never explained that I didn’t really consider his popularity or what being his girlfriend would entail—that being an almost constant stream of people wanting my time or my acknowledgment.

  Knowing that I’m dating one of the two most powerful guys in college seems to make me the easiest ‘in’ for the majority of people. It either intrigues them, meaning they come in my direction so they can shave a little power from the small amount I now apparently hold or they want to beat me down and put me back in my rightful place, annoyed that Caden and Tarrant Reigns have come along and suddenly I’m up at the top of this school’s pyramid. I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t even want to be there. Plus, some of the girls here—ones that I’ve never even spoken to before—are piranhas when it comes to getting what they want, and I seem to be the sucker in their way.