Silent Waters

by Jan Coffey

  At the same time, she continued to have the nagging fear that he’d soon realize she was no fun. She and the kids were a package deal. There had been no crazy weekends with just the two of them. Their romance had to wait until the twins were tucked in bed. And even after that, she couldn’t let him stay the night.

  Still, the sex was…

  Amy let out a shaky sigh, wishing it was already Saturday. Then again, in spite of what he’d said, there was no guarantee that he’d even come this weekend.

  “I want to wear the clogs, but I don’t have any blue socks.”

  Kaitlyn’s voice from the doorway drew Amy’s attention back to reality. She fought back a moment of guilt at allowing herself to daydream like this, but she couldn’t help but feel the heat on her face. She looked at the clock.

  “Five minutes till the bus,” she said, hurriedly zipping up the lunch bags. “Honey, you don’t wear blue socks with blue shoes. White socks will look better.” She knocked on the bathroom door. “Zack, did you fall in?”

  “But I want to try blue socks.”

  “You don’t have blue socks. Why don’t you wear white ones today, and I’ll buy you blue socks over the weekend.” She turned in the direction of the bathroom again. “Zack, it’s time to go.”

  Kaitlyn disappeared inside her bedroom. Amy glanced at the kitchen and all the dirty dishes and cringed. She’d made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.

  She caught a glimpse of her daughter passing by the doorway. Kaitlyn was undressing. Amy rushed to the bedroom.

  “Honey, what are you doing?”

  “I’m changing my clothes.”

  “Why?”

  “’Cuz I’ve decided to wear my black boots.”

  “Your black boots will go perfectly with the blue sweater and checkered skirt you have on.”

  Kaitlyn crinkled her nose as she looked at herself in the mirror. “No, it doesn’t look good.” She continued to undress.

  The bathroom door opened at that moment and Zack stepped out. Amy gasped.

  “How do you like my hair?”

  Zack had rubbed about a quart of mousse into his hair. He had it spiked up with the ends standing three inches from his scalp.

  “Do you like it?” he asked again.

  Amy cracked up. The whole situation was just too ridiculous. Over this past month, she’d lost her rhythm. They all had. But she’d certainly lightened up in general, and Amy didn’t think that was such a bad thing.

  “I like it, but you might have used just a tad too much hair gel.”

  He stepped back in the bathroom, looking in the mirror again. “I think you’re right, Mommy. Maybe I could fix it.”

  “Just don’t get close to any open flames, Zack.”

  There was a knock on the apartment door. She figured it had to be Barbara. Perhaps the older woman had forgotten something. Amy rushed to the door and opened it.

  Darius was standing in the hallway.

  “Crap.” Her heart slammed in her chest, then she slammed the door.

  She’d come home at the end of her shift at 6:30 this morning and hadn’t bothered to take a shower or even look at herself in the mirror. Amy looked down at her bare feet and the old pair of jeans and tee shirt she was wearing.

  Another knock. She opened the door.

  “What did you say?”

  “I said…uh, glad. I’m glad to see you.” She wrinkled her nose and went into his arms. He kissed her deeply. She ended it as she gestured for him to go inside the apartment with a toss of her head. “The beasties are getting ready for school.”

  He looked amused. He also looked damn good in his khakis and a black sweater. He smelled good, too, she decided, breathing in his spicy cologne. His hair was still wet, and he had a close shave.

  She kissed his neck, but she had to stop herself before she got carried away. “What are you doing here? We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

  “I think Zack and Kaitlyn missed the school bus.” He pointed to the street.

  “Shoot.” She looked at her watch. “Yes, they did. We’ve been having a little trouble this morning. Zack? Kaitlyn?” She started to walk toward the bedrooms. Darius followed her in.

  She peered into the living room. It was reasonably neat. On weekends, she tried to present the best of them to him, but Amy guessed a small dose of family reality wasn’t a bad thing. And this wasn’t too bad.

  She knocked on the bathroom door again.

  “Zack, you can’t stay in there all day.”

  She had to change, too. Look in the mirror, at least. Do something to tame her wild hair.

  Amy turned around. “I have to drive them to school.” Darius was right behind her.

  “Can I drive the three of you? Then, maybe you’ll let me take you out for breakfast.”

  The twins must have heard his voice because they both tumbled out to greet him. Feeling a rush of emotion, Amy took the chance to escape to her bedroom to hide it. It was terrifying how much he already meant to them. And to her.

  She almost died at the sight of her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was flattened in places from the hardhat, while the rest of the curls stood out in every which way. Zack’s hair looked normal compared to hers. She had pancake batter on her shirt. Her face was pale from working third shift and not getting enough sleep. She looked at the clock. There wasn’t enough time to take a shower.

  Amy grabbed a sweater out of her closet and pulled it over her head. She tried tying her hair back with a scrunchy, but the curls wouldn’t be contained. She gave up that struggle, put on some lipstick, grabbed a pair of socks, and walked out.

  Kaitlyn had a clog on one foot and a black boot on the other, and she was asking Darius’s opinion as to which looked better. He was standing and looking very seriously at the little girl.

  Kaitlyn beamed up at seeing her mother. “Darius says the white socks and the blue clogs look good.”

  “That’s ‘Commander McCann’ to you,” Amy corrected. “And I think I told you the same thing, thank you.”

  “White socks it is, then,” the seven-year-old smiled at Darius before going into her bedroom.

  Amy turned to face Darius. “Where is Zack?”

  “Back in the bathroom,” he smiled.

  “I’m sorry. You haven’t seen us like this. This isn’t really the norm. It’s just that I got out of work a little early and tried to do a bit too much in the breakfast department this morning, and I think they’re already on a sugar high with the chocolate chip pancakes I fed them and—”

  He leaned down and kissed her. It was just a gentle brush of the lips, but Amy felt a delicious twist of desire in her middle. She could have just melted against him, but her gaze shifted to the clock on the wall.

  “Zack! You have to get out of there now.”

  The mother’s voice worked. The bathroom door immediately opened and the boy stepped out. He’d brushed his hair straight down, and it now had formed itself around his small face like a helmet.

  “What do you think?” he asked Darius, who discreetly cocked an eyebrow.

  “You’re getting a haircut this afternoon,” Amy warned.

  He started heading back into the bathroom, but Amy got there first. With a wet hand towel and some serious bribing, she had him fireproofed and ready for school in two minutes.

  Zack, though, was too excited to tell Darius about the latest his friends were saying about Wario Ware.

  Another five minutes, and she had everyone out of the apartment. The twins went down the stairs ahead of them, bickering the entire time.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind driving?” she asked again.

  “I’ve been insisting on it,” he reminded her, his hand lingering around her waist.

  Amy felt a rush of sensations, already thinking that after dropping the twins off, they could go back to her apartment. Six hours. They’d have six hours to do whatever they wanted. She looked at Darius, and their eyes locked for a moment. Then Kaitlyn pushed the
outside door open, and Amy welcomed the blast of cold air against her flushed skin.

  “By the way, how did you get in the building?”

  “Barbara let me in. She was going out when I was coming in.”

  They walked toward the parking lot and to his black Volvo sedan.

  “Is Darius staying for dinner?” Kaitlyn asked in what was meant to be a hushed voice.

  Amy looked at him and was thrilled to see the nod. “Yes, Commander McCann will stay for dinner.”

  “Can Darius sleep over?” Zack asked much less tactfully.

  “We’re not talking about this now.”

  The twins climbed in, but Amy saw Darius’s face over the roof of the car. He was mouthing Please.

  She was in serious trouble.

  The elementary school was only five minutes away. Darius stayed in the car while Amy walked her children in.

  “I am so glad he came early,” Zack announced when they were away from the car.

  “Me, too,” Kaitlyn said, turning around and giving another wave to Darius.

  “I’m more glad,” Zack insisted.

  Thankfully, Kaitlyn wasn’t feeling up to the challenge.

  “But he’s in the navy…like Daddy, isn’t he?” the little girl asked.

  “Yes, he is,” Amy replied as they crossed the sidewalk.

  “Does that mean he’ll have to go away for a long, long time, like Daddy?”

  The three of them had reached the main entrance to the school. The twins looked up at her expectantly. She wished she could answer them.

  “I don’t know, honey, but I’ll find out.”

  They both gave her a hug, and she watched them enter the school. Their last words weighed heavy on her heart. Could she do this to them again?

  Who was she fooling? Darius probably wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship. She wasn’t sure that she and her family even knew how to take a road half way.

  A bittersweet feeling dogged Amy as she made her way back to the car.

  “Everything okay?” he asked when she got in.

  Amy stared straight ahead. This was as good a time as any to do it. She could force herself to forget what they had between them. She had to.

  “We need to talk,” she said quietly.

  “I agree,” he answered. “Your apartment?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Not your house, either. Someplace where we can only talk.”

  Darius nodded and drove out of the school parking lot. Neither said anything more until he pulled into the empty lot of a strip mall a couple of miles down the road. He parked by the edge of some trees.

  “Amy?” He touched her cheek.

  She turned to tell him the truth, but his mouth was right there. Before she knew it, she was kissing him. Then she broke off the kiss.

  “I can’t,” she blurted out.

  His fingers threaded into her hair, and he had to give the slightest nudge of his mouth against hers before she was back at it again, taking and giving, kissing him until she felt scorched by the heat between them.

  The next time she pulled away, she immediately opened the car door and got out. The cold morning air slapped her with reality.

  He got out of the car, too. She closed the door and leaned against it as he came around.

  “What’s wrong?” he said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

  She couldn’t step away from his touch. “We’re wrong.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re sweeping me off my feet, and I’m not used to it. Because I can’t resist you, don’t want to resist you, but I know it’ll be a mistake.”

  He kissed her temple. “We’re not a mistake.”

  “Okay, we’re not a mistake.”

  “That’s better.” He brushed a kiss across her lips.

  She had to talk fast before she lost her courage. “But I’m trouble. You’re the first man I’ve slept with since my divorce.”

  “That’s a bad thing?” he asked with a smile.

  She shook her head. “No, but listen to me. My life is my children. We’re a package deal. But I know that when I fall for someone, I’m ready to jump in with both feet or not at all. There are no overnight stays. No half way. And that scares the hell out of men.”

  He kept her in the circle of his arms. “It’s not working. I found that out on my own the first weekend up. I’m not scared. You’d better come up with something better than that.”

  “Okay, then try this. Your job sucks and so does mine. But I’m doing something about mine. Yours is worse. You’re here today, gone tomorrow. You already know my first husband was in the navy. I don’t do too well with part-time arrangements. My kids don’t do well with it. I don’t want to go through that again.”

  Darius’s arms brought her closer. “That’s not working, either.”

  “How can you say that?” she asked. “This is not a scare tactic. This is reality. I’m telling you what I can and can’t live with.”

  “You’re saying we can’t be together because you can’t live with my job.”

  “You got it. It’s out. Now, go.”

  His arms tightened around her instead. “I’m changing my job.”

  “What do you mean you’re changing your job?”

  “I’m leaving the sub service,” he told her. “Giving up my command.”

  Amy was speechless. “Is it because of the hijacking?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. My part in the investigation should be wrapped up by the New Year. I have a standing offer to teach at the Naval War College in Newport. Permanent. That’s only an hour away from here. I guess I’ve been waiting for the right moment. Or maybe I wanted to see a snapshot of what my life would be like if I were to do it.”

  “Do you have that snapshot?”

  He smiled. “You brought it into clear focus for me this past month.”

  “I did?”

  “You and your children,” he repeated. “I love you, Amy. And anybody would love them.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, and her heart pounded as the significance of what he was telling her sank in.

  “Even with all the mess and noise?” she finally got out.

  “Even that.” He smiled. “They’re great kids.”

  “They love you, too.”

  “And how about their mother?”

  Amy’s hands inched up his chest. “She is crazy about you, Commander McCann. Absolutely nuts. She loves you very much—”

  He pulled her closer to his chest. “Will you marry me, Amy?”

  Once again, she was speechless. Looking up into his handsome face, she saw the love, the affection. “Are you sure you want this?”

  “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life, so what do you say, Amy?”

  “I say yes.”

  Their mouths sealed the promise. They kissed each other in the parking lot under the December sky, oblivious to the world until the horn of a car passing by brought them back to reality.

  “Get a room!” the driver shouted out his window.

  Amy smiled up at Darius. “Now, that’s an order I can live with.”

  ~~~~

  Author’s Note

  Thank you for allowing us to take you on this undersea journey. We hope it was a suspenseful ride. We loved the characters of Darius and Amy. And many of you have been writing to us asking for a sequel. Silent Killers—our working title for the sequel—is in the works as we write this letter. We are planning to bring back Darius, Amy, Sarah, and Bruce to stop another potential world disaster.

  The two of us have fifteen years of experience building nuclear submarines, working at Electric Boat in Groton and at Quonset Point in Rhode Island. Because of that background, writing this book wasn’t entirely a product of our imaginations. At the same time, we had to take many liberties with details of the submarine to make the story come together. After all, this is fiction.

  We’d like to think we live in a world where diplomacy can
be used more effectively than our most dangerous weapons of war. With any luck, our world’s leaders will rise to the rapidly changing challenges that face us in this new millennium. Let’s hope!

  As authors, we love feedback. We write our stories for you. We’d love to hear what you liked, what you loved, even what you didn’t like. We are constantly learning, so please help us write better stories. You can write to us at JanCoffey@JanCoffey.com and visit us on our website at www.JanCoffey.com.

  Finally, we need to ask a favor. If you’re so inclined, we’d love a review of Silent Waters. Loved it, hated it, just love the feedback.

  As you may have already know, reviews can be difficult to come by these days. You, the reader, have the power now to make or break a book.

  Thanks you.

  Nikoo and Jim

  Jan Coffey

  JanCoffey@JanCoffey.com

  www.JanCoffey.com

  About the Author

  Nikoo & Jim McGoldrick have spent their lives gathering material for their novels. Nikoo, a mechanical engineer, and Jim, who has a Ph.D. in sixteenth-century British literature, wrote their first May McGoldrick novel in 1994. Since then, they have taken their readers from the Highlands of Scotland to the mountains of Kurdistan in bestselling, award-winning historical romance and contemporary suspense novels under the names May McGoldrick, Nicole Cody, and Jan Coffey.

  www.NikooandJim.com

  www.MayMcGoldrick.com

  www.JanCoffey.com

  You can contact us at JanCoffey@JanCoffey.com

  Please like Jan Coffey author page on facebook to receive the latest updates.

  Complete Book List as of 2016

  Writing As May McGoldrick:

  Scottish Relic Trilogy

  Much Ado about Highlanders

  Taming the Highlander

  Tempest in the Highlands