Safeword: Arabesque (Safewords Book 9)

by Candace Blevins

  Frisco leaned forward in his chair with his elbows on his knees, and Cassie had to fight to hold his gaze without looking away.

  He nodded and said, “I know you’re getting me out of the house a little while, but I’m good with that because it gives me something constructive to do. Something I can do for you, so I don’t feel so fucking helpless.”

  * * * *

  Cam hoped Frisco would leave while he watered the dog and changed clothes, but he wrote out a list as Cassie dictated it, and timed his exit as Cam left for school.

  As Cam’s foot hit the bottom step Frisco said, “Isaac says I had no right to ask for a hug, and I’ll have to earn your respect and trust before I can ask for it again.”

  Cam took a few seconds to think of the best way to respond, and landed on, “You needed Isaac to tell you this? It wasn’t obvious?”

  “As much as it bugs me for you to talk to me with your back to me, I won’t ask you to turn around. Yes, I needed Isaac to tell me. I don’t do relationships. I have no clue how to…shit Cam. I was wrong to send you away. I have feelings for you, too, and I miss you.”

  “You have really shitty timing and I’m not capable of dealing with your drama while taking care of Cassie. She comes first, and I’m not sure I believe you, anyway.”

  “And I want to draw you into my arms so bad it hurts.”

  Cam had no response so he walked to his car, and even though he had to turn towards Frisco to get into it, he kept his eyes averted so he didn’t have to look at him.

  If he looked at him, he’d cry, and he hadn’t been lying about having too much to deal with right now. Frisco hadn’t just broken his heart, he’d shattered it, and Cam hadn’t managed to put it back together yet. The only reason he was talking to the asshole without screaming was to keep conflict away from Cass, but he was under no obligation to do so when she wasn’t around.

  * * * *

  Cassie watched Cam and Frisco walk out together, and looked at Isaac. “Something happened to upset Cam while I was in the shower.”

  “It did, but you shouldn’t have to deal with any of our bullshit right now.”

  Cassie’s eyes boggled as Isaac stepped to her and dropped to his knees beside the sofa. “I don’t know how hand shy you are right now, so I won’t try to touch you, but I need to know what’s going through your head. Do you want to talk about what happened?”

  Cassie shook her head and swallowed her tears. “Not yet. I couldn’t even find the words to tell Cam. Frisco told him some, and I had Sam tell him the stuff Frisco doesn’t know. I’ll tell Cam he can share it with you later, but I don’t want to be around when he does, okay?”

  “Thank you. He gave me the basics without sharing too many details. If I do anything that reminds you of what happened, or bothers you in any way, tell me, or say your safeword, or something, okay?”

  Cassie nodded, uncomfortable with him on his knees but she liked having him close so she dealt with it. “I’m not going to be skittish and fragile forever, but I need to physically heal before I can work on the emotions, I think.”

  “Of course. I’d love to hold you and protect you, but I think we need to leave that up to Cam for now, until you’re ready for other hands to touch you.”

  “No,” Cassie said, and she suddenly wanted to feel his caress. “You can erase the memory of what his hands did. I remember how you used to touch my cheek. It was so intimate, and yet controlling and dominating at the same time. Can you do it, please? Touch me so I have a loving caress to remember instead of Clemente’s fist?”

  Isaac’s gaze captured hers, and after several long moments he slowly lifted his hand to her face and stroked her cheek.

  “You are such a precious jewel, Sweet Thing.”

  Cassie smiled and asked, “Would it be okay for you to sit on the sofa so I can put my head in your lap? Maybe just until Frisco gets back?”

  “It’ll be fine, but we aren’t going to hide anything from Frisco. He and I have an understanding, and he knows I intend to attempt to woo you back.”

  * * * *

  Isaac caressed her cheek again, slowly, as one would approach a dog who’d been beaten, and watched Cassie’s eyes close in pleasure.

  “Frisco won’t want you to know what I’m about to tell you,” Isaac said, “but I refuse to keep secrets from you.” Cassie’s eyes opened in curiosity and Isaac continued, “Frisco lived across the street from my foster family, and his mom had taken to inviting whoever was living in that house over for Sunday dinner because she realized they fed their foster kids cheap crap so they could make the most of the little bit of money the state paid them.”

  He paused to gather his thoughts. “To compound this, the teacher who later adopted me decided Frisco needed a male role model, and he invited him over often to watch ball games, play catch, and learn to box.”

  “So, the two of you were almost raised together, in a way. Your dad was his male role model, so you’re kind of close to being brothers.”

  Isaac breathed a sigh of relief that Cassie had grabbed the truth so fast. “Bingo. Got it in one.”

  She looked sad. “I can’t come between the two of you, Isaac. You were right to walk away.”

  “Oh no. I’m madly in love with you, and if he wants to step up we’ll figure something out without tearing you apart in the process, but for now he’s good with me stepping up to the plate and taking care of you.”

  “Maybe I’m not good with the idea of you taking care of me until he decides he might want me? What happens if I want you, and he decides he wants me? Will you walk away again?”

  “I swear to you I will not.”

  Cassie looked into his left eye, then his right, and nodded. “Okay. I believe you. Will you sit on the sofa, please?”

  “I will, but there’s something else you need to hear.”

  She raised her eyebrows and he said, “In college, we both dated the same girl for a while.” It took him a few seconds to realize he hadn’t explained it well enough, and he added, “At the same time. In the same bed.”

  He waited until she looked as if she understood and said, “No pressure and no expectations. I’m only saying that we both love you, and if he develops the balls to admit it, and if you care for both of us, it may not be necessary to choose.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t deal with this and I think I just want to go back to sleep. Will you get me a pain pill off my side table, please?”

  “No. I won’t.”

  She looked surprised and he said, “If you’re hurting and need a pain pill I’ll get it, but if you just don’t want to deal with reality? Sorry, but no.”

  “Fuck,” she said, with feeling. “Damn if you aren’t right. Okay then, get up off the floor and either get back in your chair, or get on the sofa with me, and we’ll watch some of what the DVR caught while I was away.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Isaac was reading an ebook on his phone when Frisco returned. He took note of Cassie asleep with her head on Isaac’s leg, and shook his head without commenting as he carried groceries to the kitchen.

  On his way back through the living room he kept his voice soft and said, “Don’t get up. I’ve got it and she looks comfortable.”

  “Thanks, but I wasn’t planning to. Did you get anywhere with Cam?”

  “He wouldn’t look at me, but at least he seemed to listen.”

  “You hurt him and he’s vulnerable. Not looking at you keeps him from showing you how much he’s hurting inside, and it helps him stay strong and not give in and hug you, when you ask.”

  “So I need to force him to look at me?”

  “Not at all. You need to convince him it’s safe to look at you. It’s going to take time and you’re gonna have to be patient.”

  Frisco sighed and walked back out the door.

  “Why are you helping him?” Cassie asked from his leg.

  “Because he doesn’t have a clue, and he’s hurting, too.”

  Cassie played pos
sum when Frisco came back, and Isaac decided to let her. She truly was fragile and vulnerable right now. She was strong, and he knew she’d bounce back, but expected it to take a while. She’d been through a horrible ordeal.

  When Frisco had put the groceries away he sat on the chair facing Isaac and said, “I’m glad she’s comfortable enough with you to let you touch and hold her. Between you and Cam to take care of her, I won’t worry so much.”

  Aware Cassie may be listening, Isaac said, “You need to figure out where you might fit into her life as well. I won’t back off again unless she lets me know she wants me gone, but if she welcomes you? So will I.”

  “She’s never going to be okay with that arrangement. And throw Cam into the mix, too?”

  “Why don’t we let Cassie decide what she will and won’t be okay with? Meanwhile, what are you making us for lunch; she’ll be starved when she awakens.”

  “I’ll surprise you,” Frisco said as he stood.

  * * * *

  Cam expected to walk back into stress central, but was surprised to see Cassie stretched out on the sofa with her head in Isaac’s lap, and Frisco cooking as if everything was hunky-dory.

  “Ah, you’re back!” Frisco said. “If you don’t have too much homework, would you mind helping me in the kitchen? I have a lot of things coming together at once and could use another set of skilled hands.”

  Cam looked at Cassie, who rolled her eyes and shook her head. “We’ll talk later. For now, just assume you’ve stepped into the Twilight Zone and be thankful for small favors.”

  Frisco had fixed one of Cam’s favorite dishes, which apparently was also one of Isaac’s favorites.

  As Frisco finished with the duck, Cam stirred the peach and pepper sauce until it was the right consistency, and then kept an eye on the homemade cinnamon churros.

  Frisco pulled rice out of the steamer and mixed it with a bunch of spices and minced veggies sautéing on the stove, and Cam set the table.

  The two moved around the kitchen as if a choreographer had carefully scripted their moves, and as Frisco needed something he couldn’t find, Cam retrieved it almost before he asked.

  Cassie had a u-shaped cushion to sit on, to keep her weight off the stitches, so they managed to all sit at the table and eat a scrumptious meal.

  Frisco asked Cam about his day, and he answered, but looked mostly at Cassie and Isaac as he spoke.

  Cam’s cellphone buzzed and he started to ignore it because Frisco hadn’t allowed electronics at the table, but he took a breath and pulled it out, read the text, and handed his phone to Cassie.

  She looked up in alarm. “Tara wants to come look at my stitches?”

  “Who is Tara?” Isaac asked.

  “She’s a nurse practitioner,” Cassie told him. “She was part of Sam and Ethan’s team in Vegas, in case they both needed medical attention at the same time, as their manager only had one doctor on the payroll.”

  Frisco looked at Cam. “I wasn’t aware you and Tara were close enough for her to have your cellphone number.”

  Cam opened his mouth to point out Frisco no longer had a say in who he was and wasn’t close to, but closed it because he didn’t want to stress Cass.

  Isaac looked at each of them in turn and finally asked, “Something ya’ll want to let me in on?”

  “Tara used to be Terry, and she’s not only a Nurse Practitioner, but also a Domme,” Frisco said. “She’s in the process of switching genders, and is far enough along most people don’t pick up on it. She and Sam are friends; she helped us deal with the doctors and nurses in Vegas, and she’s a bit of a mother hen.” He looked at Cassie. “If she comes here, it may keep you from needing to go see a doctor, and dealing with a ride in the car, and the waiting room, and…everything else doctors put you through.”

  Cam put his hand over Cassie’s. “Totally up to you. What do you want me to tell her?”

  “Tell her to come, please. Someone will have to look; may as well be her. I like her, and I trust her.”

  * * * *

  Cassie worried as she finished dinner, and went to her room when she was done. She took her sweatpants off and donned her robe, and got into bed to wait.

  As soon as she got in bed she realized she’d left her tea in the kitchen, and went back to get it. All three men were still seated at the table, but Isaac did a double-take when he saw her. It took her a minute before she realized she was wearing the robe he’d bought her. She looked down, thought of a zillion things to say, and landed on the truth.

  “This robe reminds me not all men are assholes. You were kind and honest, and treated me like I was special. You talked to me like an equal when we weren’t in a scene, and you answered my questions instead of deflecting them. You walked away out of loyalty to your friend, not because you didn’t care how bad you hurt me. You cared, I could see it in your eyes.”

  She reached for her tea glass and returned to her room, her insides shaking. She’d been talking to Isaac, but as she finished speaking realized the impact her words would likely have on Frisco, as he’d been the opposite of Isaac and had acted every bit the asshole.

  Her ereader was charging on her nightstand, and she unplugged it and settled in bed to hopefully finish her novel, or at least take her mind off what Tara was going to have to do in the next twenty or thirty minutes.

  Cam brought Tara to the bedroom when she arrived. Tara handed over a huge fluffy teddy bear, a box of fancy chocolates, and a basket of fresh fruit.

  “Cupcake, there’s no way for me to do this without having to stick my nose in your girl-parts, so we’re going to make it as easy as we can and I’ll be quick. You lay on the bed and we’ll put this huge teddy bear on your stomach, and you and Cam can talk about how silly it is for a grown woman to get a teddy bear while you ignore me down below. Deal?”

  Cassie nodded, and things went exactly as Tara said. As she finished, Tara sprayed something cool on her, and a lot of the pain went away.

  Tara took her gloves off, covered Cassie’s legs, and moved up to talk to the teddy bear and be silly with them a few seconds before handing a small can to Cameron.

  “Make sure she sprays this on the stitches every couple of hours. It has an antibiotic, but it’s also an analgesic so it’ll keep her from hurting as much.”

  Tara looked at Cassie and said, “They have you on antibiotics, take them as instructed. There’s some redness around the stitches in your backside so we need to keep an eye on them and make sure they don’t get infected. How are your ribs, shoulder, and face? Anything hurt worse than it did? Better? About the same?”

  “My jaw is worse but I’ve been talking and eating. My shoulder is…I’m not sure. I’m probably using it a little more, so it should be a little more sore, right?”

  “Can you roll off the bed and stand for me? I don’t want you sitting up without your cushion.”

  Cassie nodded and they moved the bear and got out of her way.

  Tara gently placed her hands around Cassie’s shoulder and had her make some small movements.

  “It’s still where it’s supposed to be. If it isn’t better by the day after tomorrow we’ll want to get some more pictures, but I’d rather not drag you into the office yet.”

  Cam was sitting on the bed out of the way and he said, “Thanks for stopping by on your way home. This was so much less traumatic than having to come into the office.”

  “Don’t mention it. I’m glad to help, and if anything changes or you aren’t sure about something, please text me right away and I’ll call as soon as I can. Okay? I know she’s a nurse and knows most of this, but she can’t see her hoo-hah.”

  Tara stepped out of the bedroom but Cam stayed in the bed with Cassie. They heard Frisco insisting Tara eat before she left, and the three talking in the kitchen as Tara took him up on the offer.

  Jake went back and forth, not sure where to stay, and finally parked himself at the door to Cassie’s bedroom where he could keep an eye on everyone.

&nbs
p; Cassie took the opportunity to tell Cam about Isaac’s childhood, as well as the connection between him and Frisco.

  “They shared someone? In the same bed? You’re sure that’s what Isaac meant?”

  “It’s what he said, Cam. He didn’t hint around at it, he came right out and said it.”

  “Do you know how the relationship ended?”

  Cassie stared at Cam a few seconds before shaking her head. “Damn, I’m really not with it. How could I not ask him how it ended?”

  Cam kissed her temple and fell beside her, so they were side by side, both looking at the ceiling.

  “Don’t beat yourself up. We’ll find out.”

  “Would you be interested in something between the four of us?”

  “I don’t know, Cass. It almost seems too good to be true, doesn’t it?” He drew in a shaky breath and said, “I’m not sure I can ever trust my heart with Frisco again. Every time I look at him I see his face the night he threw me out.”

  “Do you want me to insist he leave?” Cassie honestly wasn’t sure why she was letting him stay, because she knew if she put her foot down and pitched a fit about it, he’d leave. She kept trying to convince herself it was because she was afraid of Clemente, but with Isaac and Cam both having a gun, she didn’t need Frisco, too.

  “No,” Cam said. “I’ve needed closure, and as much as it hurts to be around him, maybe it’ll finally let me put him behind me so I can get him out of my head and my heart.”

  Cassie snuggled into him, and Cam held her as she drifted off.

  * * * *

  When Cam was sure she was sound asleep, he called Jake to come lay with her and he took his book bag to the kitchen table.

  Isaac and Frisco talked quietly in the living room as he worked, but he blocked them out until he finished his assignment. He had some studying to do, also, but needed to talk to Isaac before he could concentrate enough to absorb the material.