Dirty Flirting- Part Two (Gently Broken Series)

by Ava Alise

  "Sure," I say, sticking my head inside for a quick kiss, which ends up being just as awkward. Drex offers a small smile and I turn to walk back to my building. I had almost forgotten about Mila's wedding. But with all the crazy shit that has taken place today, I'm surprised I still remember my name. The tears that I've been fighting begin to well up in my eyes the closer I get to my front door. This is all getting too complicated and I don't know if I can do it. Doing this with him means everything will be re-lived… examined. His family will have questions about what happened the night William shot himself, questions that will force me to bring up thoughts and feelings I fought to put behind me. Worst of all, I'll have to deal with Tara, and I just… can't.

  Fingering my house keys, I can hear the slight hum from the television, which means Cam is still awake. The moment he catches a whiff of my mood, he'll pounce. I love my twin, he's amazing, and even though he's not exactly the emotional type, with me he's locked on. I guess it's a twin thing. My hand swipes quickly beneath my eyes as I open the door. The inviting smell of home hugs my senses as Cameron comes into view. He's lounging on the couch with a blanket and bowl of popcorn in his lap.

  Great, maybe I can sneak past him. Hopefully he won’t notice me because all I want to do is get into bed and get this night over with.

  “Hey, Beanie,” he says, not looking up.

  “Hey,” I say, clearing my throat.

  Shit

  Sounds of shots being fired bounce off the walls and Cam hoots at the TV. He loves action movies, and from the looks of it, he's watching an old favorite. Trying to avoid him as much as possible, I slide down the hall toward my room. Fortunately, Renee is asleep already. I know this because she's a “music sleeper” and soft jazz seeps from behind the door of her dark room as I swiftly enter my own across the hall. The moment my bedroom door latches, the first tears begin to fall, and after that they all come full force. I didn't think it was possible to cry so much. Can I do this? Am I strong enough to face this shit again?

  My purse drops to the floor as I bring my hands to my mouth in an attempt to stifle the sound of my sobs. I thought the time I spent dealing with being stalked and harassed by William was the worst it could be. I thought… no, I knew when I ended things with him once and for all, it would be over. I never imagined he would hurt himself, much less that he would blame me for it. How can love, something that's supposed to be so pure and so amazing, cause those types of feelings?

  Visions of Drex flood me as I attempt to make my way to the bed. I don't bother to take off my coat or boots, I just fall face first into my pillow and drown in tears. Drex is amazing, he's so fucking amazing. But can love do that to him? To me? Is this something that I'm ready for? My mind races toward the idea of walking away, being completely done with him, but my heart aches just thinking about it. I know it's not what I want. Still, terror rolls through me at the thought of facing my nightmares. I don't know how to do this.

  A few minutes tick by before I'm able to pull myself together.

  Breathe.

  Just breathe.

  I sit up, finally sliding out of my coat and boots.

  The floor creaks slightly as I hear the sound of Cam approaching my bedroom door. Frantically, I begin wiping my face, hoping to hide all evidence of tears. The creaking stops short of my door, which means he stopped in the space between the bathroom and Renee's room. I hold my breath as I wait for the sound of the bathroom door closing. A few seconds go by before I hear anything, and I'm beginning to think I imagined the footsteps, until I hear a knock on my door.

  Shit.

  “Just a moment.” I say, hopping off the bed and checking the mirror for hints of tears or puffy eyes. I don't know what I was hoping for, but I look a total mess. My eyes are bloodshot, my face is beet red, and my hair is in shambles. Blowing out a puff of air, I open my armoire and grab a tissue from the shelf.

  “You can come in,” I call to Cam.

  There's really no reason to try pretending with him because he'll know I'm upset the instant he steps inside the room, clean face or not.

  “Any idea where Renee would have put my charger? She said it's—” he starts, but his words cut off when he sees me. “Aw hell, what's wrong Bean?”

  “Nothing.” I sniff. “I'm fine now.” I keep my back to him as I wipe my face.

  Cam doesn't speak. He holds a steady posture, and without a word, calls me on my bullshit. I turn to him after tossing the tissue in the trash. He raises a brow, crosses his arms over his chest, and bores through me with his hazel stare.

  “Cam, I'm good. Sometimes a girl just needs a good cry,” I say.

  He still doesn't move, just stares.

  “Seriously.” I sigh, and flop down on the bed.

  “A good cry, Bean? Are you forgetting who you're talking to?”

  “I cry too, Cam.”

  Cam's eyes narrow as he continues his challenge.

  “Tell me,” he says.

  “I don't want to talk about it.,” I say, looking away from his stare. It's intense, it's demanding, it's… annoying.

  After a beat, I sigh audibly and look up at him. His stare is unwavering. With tightly crossed arms and a ticking jaw he waits me out.

  Ugh. I should have pretended to be asleep, but I know he won't leave until I give him something.

  “I've just been having a pretty shitty day.” I huff. “Looks like sneaking around with Drex no longer needs to be a thing because everyone will know on Monday.”

  “How?” Cam asks, dropping his arms to his sides.

  “This perv recorded us making out in the parking garage and he's going to show our bosses,” I say, running a frustrated hand through my hair. “We could get fired.”

  “Shit…” he says. “They'd really fire you for that? How do they know it isn't something that just started?”

  I pause. I guess I didn't really consider that. The rule is that active relationships need to be reported. Well, they have to start somewhere right?

  “Good point,” I say, and a small sense of relief floods through me. “There’s no way the guy can prove we'd been sleeping together for months. Hell, for all he knows, that could have been our first kiss.”

  “Exactly.”

  We fall silent and I nod, releasing a head clearing breath, but Cam still studies me curiously.

  “What else is going on?” he asks, narrowing his gaze again.

  I don't speak this time.

  “You wouldn’t cry over something like this. Panic for a bit, maybe, but eventually you would have analyzed the shit out of it. Keep talking.”

  I huff as I curse myself again for not pretending to be asleep.

  “It’s Drex… things are looking bad.” I say, dropping my gaze and fiddling with my fingers. Cam takes a seat on my bed facing me.

  “Is he being a dick?” His brow creases. “Because I'll handle him.”

  “No. He's amazing. I can't stop thinking about him. He's sweet, funny and the sex…holy shit.” I bring my eyes to meet Cam's, but his face is all sorts of twisted.

  “What?”

  “Bean, I love you, but I don't need to hear about how good some guy is at fucking my sister. Come on!”

  “I'm sorry.” I chuckle. “But things are starting to get complicated between us. I'm not sure if I can handle it.”

  Cam nods. “Well, I don't like knowing you’re sitting around crying over a guy. If this situation is so bad that it makes you cry more than it makes you smile, then maybe it's not worth it.” He finishes and throws an arm around me.

  “Yeah,” I say, leaning against him. “Thanks, Bum.”

  “Of course,” he says.

  We fall silent and I think about all of the times when my brother and I have been in this position. Him threatening to “handle” some kid for not asking me out in middle school, or when we got older and things flipped, he started threatening the guys for asking me out. It’s hard to believe that I’m the older twin, even if it is by only a few minutes.
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  “I can’t believe you still get all squirrely when I talk about sex,” I say, nudging his ribs with my elbow. “How old will we have to be before you get over it? Thirty?”

  He frowns. “It won’t matter how old we are, the conversation will never happen!”

  “No fair. You always talk sex with Chris, and he’s two years younger than we are!”

  “Well, for one, he’s a guy. Two, he’s my younger brother. I had to make sure ‘sexy boy’ was doing the family name proud, you know what I mean?” He grins.

  I roll my eyes.

  “Just saying.” He laughs.

  We sit and talk for a while longer before we head to bed.

  The morning comes too soon. My night was restless. Cam and I stayed up a little longer than planned. I guess I needed to talk more than I thought. He already knows about what happened with William and despises how his sister treated me. I considered telling him about how Drex is connected to it all, but I knew he wouldn't hear anything past the fact that Drex is like family to William and Tara. He won't believe Drex would choose me if it came down to it, no matter how much he claims he wants to be with me. Family always comes first.

  But. Would Cam be right?

  Drex seems sure that we are worth it. He doesn’t want to worry about his family, but that's easier said than done. What if, once we are living it, he realizes our relationship isn’t worth the fight, even if he doesn't agree with the way his family views me.

  Hell, I don't even know what I think anymore.

  I hear Renee's bedroom door open and it snaps me out of my worried thoughts. I stand from my bed and begin pulling out my clothes for Mila's wedding. Cam agreed to go with me, and Renee is going solo, so we will all ride together to the ceremony.

  My feet slide heavily on the floor as I head down the hall. It's going to be a cold day and I make a mental note to remember to stick my gloves in my purse. Sounds of Renee singing from behind the bathroom door catch my ears. She is going to be a ball of freaking sunshine today. She absolutely loves weddings because it gives her a chance to be in her element and get ideas for dress designs. I'm happy for Mila and can't wait to be there for her big day, but I won't lie, I'm a little nervous about seeing Drex. Well… I guess the more accurate statement would be that I'm nervous about how I will feel when I see him.

  "Good morning," Cam says as I walk into the kitchen "Feeling any better?" he asks before he takes a sip from his coffee mug.

  "Yeah," I say. "Thank you for last night."

  "Anytime, Bean." He smiles.

  I slide my cold hands around my own mug feeling the soothing heat seep through the porcelain. Winter is my favorite season, but I absolutely hate waking up to a cold morning. Our little apartment is in an old building so we get to enjoy the cold creaking floors and drafty windows. Fortunately, with this new position and increased salary, I can afford my own place. But Renee and I haven't talked much about when we plan to move. Well… that is, if I still have a job after Monday. I take a few sips of my coffee and watch as Cam fiddles with his phone. He's already dressed for the wedding and I smile as I survey his clothes. I love it when he cleans up, and I have to admit, baby brother does it well. He’s wearing a white collared shirt with a tie, jacket, a black suit jacket and black pants. Cam has always dressed more casual by nature, but I guess that bleeds from the artistic side of him. Jeans, button ups, sweaters. With a trimmed beard and short hair… that’s Cam, but now that we are all grown up and he’s a businessman, his wardrobe has done a complete 180.

  "Well, don’t you look like a bridesmaid's dream?" I say.

  He looks up at me and winks.

  I finish my coffee and head back toward my room just as Renee is leaving the bathroom. "Hey, babe," she says, before she wraps her arms around her body, pulling her fluffy robe even tighter against her. "God, it's cold out here."

  "Morning," I say, as I notice that it feels even colder than it did when I came out of my room. "I'll have Cam check to see if the heater is on the fritz again."

  "Ok." She nods and slides past me into her room, shutting her door.

  It better not be on the fritz again, that will be the third time this winter.

  About an hour later, the three of us are in Cam's car, a navy blue Chevy SUV, headed across town. Mila's ballroom wedding is about a forty-minute drive from our apartment and the closer we get the more excited I am. Renee has been grinning since the moment we got in the car; she looks amazing in her tutu style dress. The top portion is nude, short sleeved, and high-waisted with a gather on each side that flows perfectly into a puffy skirt. She paired it with black stiletto heels and a black purse. I can’t believe how great it turned out. She worked on this design from time to time over the last few months and I wasn’t sure what to expect but she looks gorgeous. My dress is black, fitted and backless, with long lacy sleeves and is about calf length. It straddles the sexy/classy line pretty well and feels amazing on.

  We eventually make it to the building, where we are directed to a large parking garage, and have to drive past dozens of cars before we find a spot. This wedding guest list must be massive. Cam adjusts his tie as we make our way down the elevator toward the lobby of the building.

  "You look great, Cam," Renee says out of nowhere.

  "Thank you. It's just this stupid tie that keeps sliding," he says, re-adjusting his collar and tie in the chrome reflection of the elevator. He fumbles a bit because the reflection is horrible and, just as I am about to help him, Renee steps forward.

  "Ugh…come here," she says. Her hands move lightly over his collar and tie as she slides it into place.

  He looks down at her as she fixes it and smiles.

  “Thank you, beautiful.”

  Renee bites back a blush, and with a step backward, sarcastically mutters, “Yeah, yeah.” Before anyone else can speak, the elevator door dings, announcing our arrival, and we prepare to exit.

  The warmth of the hall is welcoming and the sounds of our footsteps echo against the marble flooring. About twenty feet from the elevator is a large door that leads to the ballroom, and fragments of conversation can be heard from the space. The three of us make our way into the room.

  It’s decorated in soft purple and gold with a large chandelier in the center of the room. Hundreds of chairs are lined up in short rows on both sides of the room, with a long white runner dividing it in half, creating the aisle. Golden candles are placed on the floor at the end of each row of chairs and a flower covered archway stands at the front of the room near a grand piano. A few people notice us as we walk in and point to a few chairs near a back row. We aren’t late, the wedding doesn’t start for another forty-five minutes, but it seems like most of the seats are already filled. The three of us slide into an empty row and quietly take our seats. Not five minutes goes by and another small crowd enters the ballroom, Drex entering behind them. I release a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding once I see that none of the women who entered ahead of him are his date. He smiles when he sees me and heads in our direction.

  Drex

  I know all this just happened, but this has been the longest fucking twelve hours of my life.

  My heart pounds out of my chest as I approach Kelsa. She’s sitting in the middle seat of a small row with two people I don’t recognize. There’s a woman with long brown hair that falls in waves over her shoulders, and a man who… well, the more I look at him, looks a lot like Kelsa. He shares her large smile, facial structure, and hazel eyes. This must be Cameron, which means the woman sitting between the two of them must be Renee. As I’m about to take my seat, a tall woman holding an infant steps in behind me, placing claim on the final seat in the short row.

  “Hi,” Kelsa says, as I settle in next to her. She smiles, but there is a hint of something unfamiliar in her eyes. Something dark, unsettling. As I smile and return her greeting, the same darkness that lingers in her eyes settles in my stomach.

  Uncertainty.

  “This is my brother, Cameron P
reston, and my best friend, Renee Espaza,” she says, gesturing to the duo. “Guys, this is Drexel Adams.”

  I hold out my hand to greet them, but notice immediately that I’m facing opposite expressions. Renee's eyes are alight with curiosity as she greets me with a bright smile, whereas the curiosity in Cameron's eyes is a little darker. His handshake is firm. He's polite and even smirks, but I can't help noticing how his gaze moves from me to Kelsa as if he doesn't trust me.

  I wonder if he knows.

  Shit, of course he does. Until I met Kelsa, Tara and William were the only set of twins I knew. If Cameron and Kelsa are even half as close as Tara and William were then I'm sure Cameron knows everything, and I can understand why he wouldn't trust me.

  The four of us fall silent as the seats around us begin to fill. My mind races with what and how much to say to Kelsa. What's appropriate, what's inappropriate, if I should touch her or give her space.

  “So, Drexel, are you friends with Mila too or are you just work associates?” Renee asks, breaking the silence.

  “She's a friend. She and Kelsa are definitely closer, but I've gotten to know her well over the last year.”

  Renee nods.

  The four of us spend the next forty or so minutes attempting to carry on this polite conversation. I learn about Renee's budding career in fashion and Cameron's equally impressive career in photography. Kelsa is pretty quiet as we talk, not much more than short phrases and forced smiles leave her lips. I know she's struggling with this. She's struggling, and I'm struggling, and all this shit has only just begun to unfold. I want nothing more than to pull her against me, kiss her, tell her that we will get through this and it will all work out.

  But I don't.

  I can't, and it's making my heart feel heavy. It's not because the wrong person may see it; seriously, fuck them all at this point. That's the absolute last thing I care about right now. It's also not because I’m worried she will resist me. She wouldn't… well at least I don't think she would. The only reason I'm not saying those things to her right now is because I don't know if any of it is true.