After shoving her tits in my face for the millionth time, I think she finally got the hint that I wasn’t into it and moved on. The ridiculous thing is she’s moved onto Flynn, and he isn’t interested. Stupid girl. Maybe she’ll take the hint eventually. Either that or she’s just so used to rock stars taking her up on her offer. She’s not ugly and she has a nice rack, she just doesn’t look like a certain blonde who’s back home without me.
I don’t even know what fucking happened between us. One minute things are perfect and the next she’s in Jax’s bed, half naked. How does that even happen? Maybe I shouldn’t have come home early. I would still be ignorant to the situation and Chloe and I would still be together. His ears must be burning because across the plane Jax says, “Dude, we need to talk.”
I force myself to look up and see the determination in his eyes. “I don’t think I need to talk to you about anything.” With a grunt he gets up and walks to the back of the plane. I’d rather not get kicked out of the band, so I follow him back there. If we can deal with our shit and remove some of our excess drama, it’ll be better for everyone. I find him pacing in the small bedroom when I walk in and he’s mumbling something to himself. “So talk.”
He must not have heard me come in because his head whips up and he takes a couple steps backward. He’s pulling the shit out of his hair and it looks like he’s done that a few hundred times since he’s been back here. “Nothing happened between Chloe and me.”
I don’t buy that for a minute and I tell him just that. “Bullshit. There’s no way you can even pull that over on me. I saw it with my own eyes.”
“Okay, dumbass. What did you see?”
I don’t even hesitate before spitting out my response. “I saw a half-naked Chloe sleeping in your bed, and you came out of your bathroom only wearing a towel.”
“Precisely,” he says as he throws his arms down to his sides.
“What does that even fucking mean?”
“It means nothing happened.”
I clench and unclench my fists. If his whole point of this conversation is to rub this shit in my face I will hit him. I don’t care how high in the sky we are right now. “You’re going to need a better explanation than that, dude.”
He starts pacing the room again and he’s starting to make me dizzy. “I had a rude awakening when I heard something shatter against the wall in your bedroom. I came in and found Chloe’s phone smashed against the wall and she was curled up in a ball, crying her eyes out.”
“Okay. And?”
Stopping and turning toward me, I can see the hurt and intensity in his eyes. “She was a fucking mess. I wasn’t going to leave her like that. So I picked her up and brought her back to my room. To sleep. Nothing more.”
“And that’s it?” Did I jump to conclusions over nothing? Is it possible that this whole thing is just one giant misunderstanding and we could put this behind us?
“Not quite.”
I guess it couldn’t be that easy. Where is he even going with this? I move to take a hit at him like the morning I found her, but I pause instead. I’m not usually one to hit first and ask questions later. “Not quite what?”
“Apparently the chick you were with answered your phone drunk and told Chloe you were in the shower and couldn’t come to the phone.”
Fucking Clare. How did I not know she answered my phone? I can just imagine everything that went through Chloe’s mind when she heard another girl’s voice on the other end. I felt every single one of those emotions when I saw her lying in Jax’s bed.
“Shit.”
“Yeah, shit. Chloe was hysterical and things escalated a little.” He bows his head and has the nerve to look a little sheepish.
Raising an eyebrow, I ask, “What do you mean they escalated a little?”
“I’m not going to lie to you. We made out. We almost had sex, but it never got that far.”
The anger is pouring off of me and my heart rate rises. My hands clench into fists at my sides. I’m so ready to hit Jax in the face right now. “What the fuck does that mean? How do you almost have sex?”
Throwing his hands out, he says, “It means she wanted to forget you and use me to do it. I know that, and it feels like shit to know that, but I was willing to do it for her.”
Oh fuck. It can’t be. “Do you love her?”
“You know I can’t fucking love anyone, dude. That ship has sailed for me.”
I hesitate before asking my next question. Do I want to know? This is a pretty fucked up situation to be in. One I never thought was possible, but I ask it anyway. “But if it hadn’t?”
“Maybe. Probably.” He stops and stares off for a minute before shaking his head out of the daze he was lost in. “But it doesn’t matter. She loves you and you’re the better man for her.”
“Clearly she doesn’t think that.”
“Prove it to her, dude. Make this shit right, because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and I’ll beat the shit out of you if you mess this up.”
I hang my head. I don’t even know how we got here. One minute I want to beat the shit out of him and now? “How do I fix this?”
“You’re supposed to be the romantic one here, not me. Why don’t you ask Flynn? He’s whipped now. He could give you a few pointers.”
“I still want to beat the shit out of you. You know that, right?”
He nods his head sadly. “Yeah, I do.”
“I’m not going to though.”
Whipping his head back up, he cocks it to the side. “Why not?”
“Because you were taking care of her. I can’t fault you for that.” And I can’t. He’s different with Chloe and he truly cares about her. I can tell. If it were any other girl, he wouldn’t have thought twice about just going for it and forgetting about her later. Shit, he wouldn’t have even been in a situation like that with any other girl. But he was willing to put whatever he feels for her aside to make her feel better. Does it suck that they almost had sex together? Hell yeah it does. But I get it.
He steps toward me like he’s going to give me a hug and says with a big grin on his face, “Did we just have a moment?”
“Shut the fuck up.” I push his arms away and step out of his potential grasp with a goofy grin on my face.
He still reaches out to pat me on the back. “Get your girl back.”
“I will,” I say with a small chuckle. This conversation has reached a ridiculous level, and I don’t even know what to think. One minute I wanted to beat the shit out of Jax for stealing Chloe from me, and now we’re talking about me winning her back. I won’t question it. Anything that gets me Chloe back and everything back to normal is fine by me.
We make our way back out of the room and Oliver stands up to greet us. “Okay, glad you’re back. I have a few business things to go over before we land.”
Jax looks over at me and I shrug my shoulders as we both take a seat. Flynn and Jude both share similar expressions to Jax’s and mine, so they must not know what this is about either. Pausing just long enough for us to get comfortable, Oliver jumps back in. “I want you all to know that even though your show isn’t until the twenty-fourth, you’re going to be non-stop busy until then. After we land, we’re heading straight to the Forum for your first round of rehearsals. You’ve never performed on a stage that size before or for a venue of that size. After rehearsal, we’ll break for a quick lunch before you start up interviews for a few different online music media outlets. Then you’ll go back to rehearsals again with a break for dinner somewhere in there. Then we’ll go to the hotel for the evening.”
“Oh, so you’re going to let us sleep? Good thing you wrote it into the schedule,” Jax says sarcastically.
He didn’t say it in the nicest way, but he is right. Our schedule is ridiculously packed. Will it always be like this? Or is it just because we’re new and we have to work on publicity right now? “He’s right, Oliver, that kind of seems like a lot,” I add.
The energy
in the room changes as tension rolls off Oliver. “Are you guys even serious about this? Because if you aren’t interested in busting your asses for this, then we can turn the plane around right now. I thought you were willing to do whatever it takes, but if that’s not the case—”
Flynn moves faster than I’ve ever seen him move before when he gets up to stand in front of Oliver. “No way. We are all for this. No reason to turn the plane around. Right guys?” He turns his attention toward Jax and me, shooting daggers at us. We both nod our heads, and the conversation turns back to our schedule. I tune it out and instead focus on how I can win Chloe back. Something as small as a Christmas present isn’t going to cut it, no matter how extravagant the gift is.
Getting her back is my only priority right now. I’d quit the band right now if she asked me to. That’s how much she means to me. Everything will always come second to Chloe. But I know Chloe, and she’d never make me do something like that. She knows how much this band means to me and she knows what it’s like to have dreams and aspirations. I saw it in her the entire time we were trapped in the theater. It might be too painful for her right now, but I will make sure she gets back to her own dreams and follows through. I will not let her sit on the sidelines, watching me get mine while she doesn’t get hers.
Chapter 25
Chloe
If it’s possible, I think Ashtyn is more of a wreck right now than I am. Of course, she’s always got a fake smile plastered on her face while I’m around. It’s getting fucking old and I wish she would just be herself around me. Sure, I’m going through shit, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be sad too. Her parents left for Colorado to rekindle the romance in their marriage, and Flynn is gone too. Yeah, she has Abbie and me, but we are a very sorry replacement. I’m a complete clusterfuck, and Abbie is a perky little gymnast, bouncing all over the place. Although it’s way over the top, like she’s trying to overcompensate. If I weren’t so fucked, I might try to figure out what’s going on with her.
Her ears must be burning, because my door creaks open and she peeks her head in. When she sees I’m awake, her chipper ass comes running in and hops onto my bed. I haven’t had anything to drink since that horrible night at Flynn’s house, so thankfully I’m not hungover, but still.
“Abbie, stop jumping.”
Being all bright and shiny, she says, “Come on, Chloe. Don’t waste the day away in bed. You and Ashtyn need to stop being so grumpy. Be happy.”
I reach out and grab her ankle, pulling her down to the bed. She lands with a thud, knocking the wind out of me as half of her covers my body. “It’s 8:00 a.m. You can’t honestly be this awake.”
She hops up from the bed and turns around. “Oh, I’ve been up for hours searching for stuff for us to do. I have a plan. Now get up and get ready for the day.”
I roll over with a muffled groan. “Fine, at least let me take a shower first.”
She doesn’t respond, and I look up to see her walking out the door and shutting it behind her. I contemplate rolling over and going back to sleep, but I know she’ll be back in here in half an hour if I do that. Instead, I push myself up and head over to my en suite bathroom. A long hot shower is just what I need this morning.
After I hop in, though, everything from the other night comes slamming back to me and I finish up quickly. I haven’t really unpacked anything, so I grab some jeans and a thermal out of my duffel bag and quickly get dressed. After putting on my Uggs, I grab my hoodie and throw it on. I’m torn between wanting to punch something or cry as Hudson’s scent wraps around me. I know I shouldn’t be wearing his hoodie, but it’s the only thing I have of his and I still love him so much. No matter how fucking bad it hurts, I won’t take it off.
Since I’m refusing to drown my sorrows in liquor, I go off to the kitchen for the next best thing: coffee. I foresee a lot of coffee in my near future.
***
Finally, a little past noon, Ashtyn comes waltzing out of her room. The fakeness is written all over her face and down to her toes. She looks incredible, of course, in her sweater dress and boots. But no matter how good she makes her outside look, it won’t cover up what I know is going on inside. She’s dying a little inside, and she’s not okay with any of this. Maybe she just needs a good blow-up to finally accept what she’s feeling. I don’t know. “So, ladies, where are we off to today?”
I’m half listening to their conversation as I Google Marlowe yet again. I find the usual, their Facebook page, Twitter, website, etc. But what I’m searching for is anything about this Christmas Eve show. It seems to be a big deal, and while I don’t know most of the bands playing, I know Ashtyn has mentioned all of them a time or two. Although Christmas Eve seems like a bad time to have a concert, they nailed down Thirty Seconds to Mars, All Time Low, and Black Veil Brides, just to name a few. It appears to be a benefit concert with all of the proceeds going to Christmas presents for kids with fatal diseases. So it’s a fucking good cause. I can’t even be a little upset that they’re doing this.
After looking at the same sites that I’ve been trolling since yesterday, I let out a small sigh. Part of me keeps thinking I’ll stumble upon a TMZ post or something. “Hudson Hartley is spotted getting cozy with Miranda Kerr.” Okay, maybe not quite that, but close enough. He’s down in L.A., the land of fake boobs and gold-digging ho-bags. If someone thinks they can snag an upcoming musician before they make it huge, then they’ve hit gold. Unfortunately, all four of the Marlowe members are prime pickings for that gold because even I can admit they’re going to be huge.
“C’mon, Chloe, let’s go see what Abbie is up to.” Ashtyn is still beaming with that fake smile. I feel like smacking her and telling her to snap out of it. Why pretend?
Standing up, I lock my phone and shove it into my hoodie pocket. I guess they decided we’re heading out somewhere today. “Fine, whatever.” I can’t wait to see what kinds of fun and adventure are planned for today. Not. I just want to spend all day, or week for that matter, in bed and obsessing over my damn Internet search. In true stalker fashion, I put a notification on my search. Whenever something new pops up referring to “Marlowe,” my phone dings and I know. I didn’t even know you could do something like that. I had to Google it.
I’m dragging my ass behind, and after we shut the front door, I continue following. Unfortunately, we continue walking past Ashtyn’s Jeep. Oh joy, we’re walking to wherever the hell we’re going. This day just can’t seem to get any better.
***
As we arrive at our destination, my lungs feel like they’re going to burst from my chest. It’s only a couple miles from Ashtyn’s parents’ house to the center of town, but it’s fucking freezing out here. I’m a California girl through and through. Anything less than sixty degrees is not natural, and it has to be at least forty out here. I feel like I’m walking around naked even though I’m fully clothed. I take a few shallow gasps of air when we stop in front of a decorated Christmas tree. In her overly cheery Christmas tone, Ashtyn asks, “What’s this?”
I ignore her and decide to send Jax a text and see how everything is going.
Me: How’s the trip going?
Jax: Oh it’s fanfuckingtastic.
Me: Rub it in why don’t you.
They’re still talking about the tree when I choose to look over and read some sign they are both fixated on. It’s a little plaque that’s placed near the front of the tree, and it says:
Everyone can always use a Christmas wish. Grab a gift tag off the tree and fill it out. You can write your name or leave it anonymous. The only requirement is to make a wish. Make a wish for yourself, a friend, a family member, or anyone you choose. On Christmas Eve, all of the wishes will be gathered off the tree for a celebratory bonfire. By burning the wishes, we'll release them into the universe, and come Christmas morning your wish may just come true. So fill out the tag and join us back here on Christmas Eve for the wish burning party.
That’s actually a pretty neat idea, and I would lik
e it if I cared right now. But I don’t. I look back down at my phone and notice a waiting text from Jax.
Jax: It’s not, trust me. Yeah, it’s fucking awesome that we’re here, but I’m surrounded by a bunch of mopey bitches.
Me: Oh, you have such a way with words…maybe you should write the next song? ;)
Jax: Maybe I will…
Me: Please don’t. I was kidding.
“Wow, that's an awesome idea. I think we should all make a wish.”
Ugh, I can’t take the fake anymore. “Of course you think it’s awesome. Your life is awesome.”
I glance up at Ashtyn, and I can tell she’s fighting to bring her real emotions out. Her face cracks and a scowl comes out before she brings that stupid smile back. “It couldn’t hurt to make a wish, Chloe. Why don’t you make a wish? Isn’t there something you want?”
That’s pretty fucking low. She might not realize what she just said, but of course I want lots of things. I can’t hold back what I’m thinking or hoping for when I say, “Oh, I don’t know, like my parents back?”
She unhinges her locked jaw and softens slightly. “You’re right, Chloe, that was super insensitive of me. I’m sorry.”
She doesn’t get it, does she? Why can’t she just be herself? I’d much rather her be an insensitive bitch, although she isn’t one, instead of this fake person she’s pretending to be. “Why are you sorry? It’s not like you killed them. And why are you being so nice to me? Stop walking on fucking eggshells and say what you want to say.”
I look back down at my phone and see another waiting text from Jax.
Jax: Gotta go, babe. All work and no play around here.
Falling for Hudson (Marlowe series Book 2) Page 17
