Me: Bye.
Ugh, I wish he were here right now. At least I know that if Jax were here, he’d be real with me. Yeah, I’m going through shit, but I can’t stand when people are fake. It fucking grates on my nerves. There’s a difference between being sensitive and being absolutely fake. A big fucking difference. My phone is suddenly ripped out of my hands and I look up. I don’t even get the chance to open my mouth before Ashtyn starts spewing. “I'm sorry you've got shit going on and you feel like curling up into a ball. I'm sorry things are fucked up between you and Hudson. But I'm not sorry you're acting like a bitch right now.”
Abbie tries to stop her and says, “Ash—”
I’m a little shocked that Ashtyn is finally getting the balls to say something, but I’m letting her have her moment. She needs to finally let her emotions free a little bit. “No, Abbie, she needs to hear this.” She takes a few deep breaths and I wonder if she’s going to back out. “Chloe, we’re trying to help you out right now. Stop wallowing in your self-pity and make a fucking wish.”
I can’t help the smirk that slips onto my face. “Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?” And then it happens. A little giggle bubbles out of Ashtyn, and soon the three of us are full-blown laughing right in the middle of town. I don’t even care if people are stopping to stare at the crazy girls. This is the first time since I left Hudson’s house that I feel like I’m heading back into normal territory rather than a downward spiral. After a good five minutes of non-stop laughing, we finally calm down enough for Ashtyn to turn toward us and say, “Well, let’s make some fuckin’ awesome wishes! We could all use a little holiday cheer.”
I grab the tag that Abbie is still dangling and we all start filling them in. Or at least Ashtyn and Abbie start filling out theirs. I honestly don’t know what I should wish for. Even if some of these wishes do come true, I know my parents will never come back. It seems silly to waste a wish on the impossible when I can dream for the possible. I’m not the only one having a sucky Christmas, so I’d rather not waste my wish on myself. I decide instead to simply put:
I hope my friends have a very merry Christmas.
I fold up my tag, and when I look up, both Abbie and Ashtyn are hanging theirs up on the tree. I circle the tree a couple of times before I find a perfectly open spot on the backside, right underneath the angel on top. If a wish is going to come true, it’s got to be the one in that spot. I admire the angel for a moment and then join Ashtyn and Abbie in front of the tree. While zoning out in admiration, Abbie breaks the silence and asks, “So, what did you all wish for?”
Silly Abbie, doesn’t she know how wishes work? “I'm not sharing my wish. If I do, it won't come true.”
Ashtyn pipes in with, “Same here.”
Abbie lets out a small giggle and says, “Jeez, you guys are no fun.” I’m sure she wouldn’t answer if we asked her. I open my mouth to do just that, but Ashtyn beats me to it. “Oh yeah, then what did you wish for?”
Her face gets pink and she turns away. “You're right. If we want our wishes to come true, we can't share.”
Both Ashtyn and I don’t even pause before laughter erupts from us. By the shade of pink she turned, my guess is her wish had something to do with Jude. And I’m pretty sure Ashtyn’s was something Flynn related. Just a bunch of sappy girls lovesick for our rockstar boys. Right about now I’d rather not be in love with Hudson anymore. Before I get the chance to go down that road, Ashtyn breaks me out of my thoughts. “What else did you have in mind for the day, Abbie?”
Shrugging her shoulders, she replies, “I didn't have much in mind other than the tree. We could do some shopping. A little retail therapy never hurt anybody.”
If there is one thing I could never pass up, no matter what my mood, it’s always been shopping. Mom and I would make a weekend trip at least once a month to do major shopping. My favorites were always South Coast Plaza and The Grove. But any time hanging out with Mom was always a good time. That’s what’s hardest about all of this—besides Ashtyn, she was my best friend. And Ashtyn knows what that’s like because it’s the same with her mom. Sometimes they would come with us on our trips and it would be one giant girls’ weekend.
I pull myself out of my head as we turn away from the tree and head down Main Street. Maybe someday I’ll let myself fully deal with my parents, but right now it’s too hard and I’d rather not think about it. Instead, I fall into step with the girls and allow myself to get dragged from store to store.
Chapter 26
Hudson
Hanging out backstage is insane, but hanging out backstage for your own show is ridiculous. We’ve been hanging out with dudes we have the utmost respect for. These are guys we grew up listening to, and now we’re playing at the same show as them. Never in a million years did I think we’d be hanging out with, let alone performing alongside All Time Low, Sleeping with Sirens, and Black Veil Brides.
So epic.
To say it’s unreal is an understatement. I don’t even know how they got so many of these bands to agree to a Christmas Eve show. I bet a lot of it had to do with the charity aspect of it. Instead of everyone getting a paycheck, all of that money is going toward a local children’s hospital that provides Christmas presents to the children and their families. Exposure for us aside, I think it’s a great cause, and I’m glad we get to take part.
I’ve been texting with Clare a lot since we’ve been down here, which I thought would be weird. She’s actually really funny and we’ve kept the conversations to lighter topics like school, music, etc. Neither one of us wants to think about our breakups, so it’s been a nice distraction to focus on making a new friend instead. If Chloe and I were still together, I could see them becoming really good friends. I look down at her last text to me and shoot off a reply before putting my phone back into my pocket.
“Wow, you guys were absolutely amazing tonight.” A high-pitched, whiny voice screeches at me. This chick needs to tone it down a notch. I turn my attention to the offending voice and I’m met with not one but three scantily clad girls. None of them look even close to legal, which means even Jax won’t touch them with a ten-foot pole.
“Yeah, you’re totally my new favorite band,” the second chick says. I can’t differentiate between the three of them other than the fact that they all three have a different colored streak in their hair. It looks like they all went shopping at Hot Topic for pre-teens, bleached the shit out of their hair, and grabbed three different tubs of Manic Panic. We have Pink, Purple, and Blue.
“And you guys are so hot!” Blue says. Obviously this one doesn’t believe in filtering herself.
I look over at Jax, and he nods his head as he goes between two of the girls, Pink and Purple, and wraps his arms over their shoulders. “I love meeting new fans. Which song of ours was your favorite tonight? Maybe we can perform it again. A private show this time.” He winks at the girl on his right as she pushes her boobs up against him even more. These chicks are shameless. They ignore his question, so I ask again. “Yeah, which of our songs did you like the most?”
They all look at each other and Blue says, “Oh, I think it was the third song you guys played.”
I nod my head at Jax and reply, “You mean the one about running away to Neverland?”
Pink vigorously nods her head and says, “Yes! That song was absolutely amazing.”
Jax lets out a small chuckle. “You’re right, that song is good. Those dudes in All Time Low have some amazing songs.”
All three of the girls show similar looks of confusion that quickly turn to scowls when I say, “It’s too bad we haven’t even played our set yet and neither have they.”
“You guys are just assholes. We’re going to go find some real musicians,” Purple says with a huff as all three walk away. When they’re gone, Jax and I share a glance before throwing our heads back and laughing our asses off. How dumb do they think we are?
Once we stop laughing, I feel a pang of guilt deep in my gut. Jax opened up t
o me and cleared everything up on the plane ride here, and I feel like a douche by keeping secrets from him. I know I’m not supposed to say anything, but it needs to be said. It isn’t right that everyone in our family except Jax knows what’s going on. “So there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Oh? Sounds serious,” he says as he cocks his head to the side and raises an eyebrow.
“It is. I feel like shit that I’ve been keeping this from you, but I can’t do it anymore.”
“Okay. Just tell me, then.”
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. “It’s about Mom and Dad.”
“What about them?” he asks and waves his hand for me to continue.
“Mom doesn’t know that Dad told me, but they’ve been having problems. Apparently Dad cheated and Mom moved out a while ago.”
“I know.”
I do a double-take before asking him, “What do you mean you know?”
“I mean Mom told me about it. But Dad doesn’t know she told me.”
I bring my hand up and rub the back of my neck. “Are you kidding me? So Dad told me and Mom told you and neither one knows that they told us?”
“Sounds like it.”
“Fuck. Maybe this separation is for the best if they still can’t communicate properly.”
“You’re telling me,” he adds, ending the conversation. Maybe those two should be getting a divorce. I don’t have the chance to contemplate it further before Flynn and Jude show up, and we’re suddenly heading out onstage. This is fucking happening right now. My entire body starts humming and I forget about any of the drama in my life as I settle behind the drum set and pick up my sticks. This right here is what we’ve been working for, and it feels fucking amazing.
“How’s everyone doing tonight?” The crowd goes wild with cheers, and it feels fucking amazing. The lights are pretty bright, so I can’t see most of them. Plus, I’m at the back of the stage, so it helps my nerves calm down a bit. Flynn continues his little speech and gets the crowd riled up. “You’ve never heard of us and that’s fine with me, but I’m hoping after tonight’s show you’ll love us. We’re Marlowe, and we traveled down here from Ashland, Oregon.” That gets a few more hollers from the crowd. “Great, some of you have heard of it! We’ve been putting our blood, sweat, and tears into rehearsals this week, but we’re so fucking excited to be here that our bodies are going on pure adrenaline right now. So how about we play some music for you now. I know you didn’t come here to listen to me talk.”
With that, I start in with the first song on our set list. I close my eyes and get lost in the music. I forget where I am and pretend we’re back home in our basement just having fun. My body comes alive with energy every time I bring a stick down to my drums. The vibrations pass through the sticks and travel up my arms. Time passes by so quickly that before I even notice it, we’ve already played half of our set. Yeah, we’re only playing six songs tonight, but time is flying by.
“I’ve been told this whole thing is being televised tonight, which is awesome. When we got offered a chance to do this show, we jumped at the chance. Sure, it’s great exposure for us, but even better is that it’s a charity show. And the ones benefiting tonight are kids. If anyone should have a kickass Christmas, it’s kids, and I’m glad we’re helping make that happen tonight.” That releases a huge round of cheers from the audience and I can feel their energy being directed toward us. We’re feeding off of each other tonight and it’s amazing.
“I hope you’re enjoying what we’ve been playing so far, but I thought I would give you all a chance to get to know us real quick. I’m Flynn, and obviously I’m the lead singer. Off to my right is Jax, my best friend and a ridiculously awesome guitar player. How’s it going tonight, Jax?”
Jax grabs his mic and says, “Well, it’s fanfuckingtastic tonight, buddy. We’re playing an awesome show and there are a lot of fucking babes here tonight.” That gets a lot of squeals from the audience, and from the smirk on Jax’s face, I’m sure a few chicks flashed him.
“Alright, well I’m pretty sure your night is officially made now. And to my right we have our baby bass player, Jude. How are you doing tonight?”
“You know, I’m typically a pretty quiet guy, but I’m having fun tonight. Best night of my life and I’m glad I could spend it with you guys.”
“We all feel the same, dude. And last but certainly not least, behind me we have our drummer, Hudson. You doing okay back there, buddy?” Flynn asks as he turns around and faces me.
“I’m doing better than okay. We’re living the dream right now and I’m loving every minute of it.”
Flynn turns back around and faces the audience again. “Hell yeah we are! Well, I’ll shut up now and finish up the rest of our set. Again, we’re Marlowe and I hope you’ve enjoyed our show tonight. Come find us on Facebook to get all of our latest news.”
The crowd eats it up and starts going wild. I’m not sure what this night will bring for us in the future, but I have to believe it will be nothing but good things. It’s our weekend right now, and we’ve finally arrived. Without even realizing it, we’ve blown through our last three songs, and roadies start shuffling us off the stage to prep for the next band coming up. We weren’t up there for longer than thirty minutes, but it was still the fastest and best thirty minutes of my life. I’m so ready to do that again and never want this feeling to go away.
“Holy shit, did we just do that? Did we fucking just do that?” Jax is laughing and bouncing around like a crazy person, but I can’t even blame him. Somebody hands us all shot glasses, and I look up to see Oliver standing there.
“I don’t fucking care that you aren’t all legal. That just happened and you need a celebratory drink. This is the start for you guys. It’s only up from here. I can guarantee it.”
The six of us, including Erin, pound back our shots of Patrón, and I welcome the familiar burn as it slides down my throat. We’re short a few more Marlowe girls, but I push that to the back of my mind. Tonight is a celebration and I’m not letting anything bring me down. I will remember this night for the rest of my life, and I intend to make it a memorable one.
Jax starts singing that song “Shots” by Lil Jon and I know it’s going to be a night to remember. Well, maybe the majority of us will remember. I’m not so sure about Jax. But he’s a big boy and can take care of himself.
I hope.
Chapter 27
Chloe
Surprisingly, I had fun the other day with Ashtyn and Abbie. I can’t remember the last time I was sober and smiling. It felt good, but it felt wrong at the same time. How can I be happy with everything else that’s going on around me? Is there something against that? I should be sad and depressed right now. I should be grieving for my parents and depressed over what happened between Hudson and me. I shouldn’t be allowed to be happy right now. It just isn’t right.
I got my one happy day and now I need to go back to reality and realize that everything is still exactly the same. My parents are still gone and it kills me. And Hudson hates me and I don’t even blame him a little bit. Even if I didn’t have sex with Jax, I almost did, and that’s still cheating. Rather than sit here and contemplate all of the shit in my life, I throw my legs over the edge of my bed and get up. Waddling out to the kitchen, I get the coffee going and scrounge up something to eat. As I’m pouring my cup, Abbie comes out and we both get our breakfast and sit down at the table. Shortly after, Ashtyn follows, and we continue eating our breakfast in silence.
It’s weird to think today is Christmas Eve. Nothing in my life has turned out the way I thought it would, and I never thought I would be spending Christmas Eve alone with my best friend and her little sister and be depressed about it. If we were back in Santa Barbara, I would be stoked about no parents and planning an epic party. Instead, we’re here, going to some lame tree wish burning thing. “So are we actually going to this thing tonight?”
Ashtyn actually smiles when she says, “I know you
want to be all kinds of Grinchy this holiday season, but yes, I want to go to the bonfire.”
I roll my eyes and reply, “I'm not being Grinchy. Besides, come tomorrow morning we'll just have even more broken hearts. Those wishes aren't coming true.”
“Both of us? What did you wish for?”
I open my mouth to throw something back at her, but it’s not even worth my time or energy. “Never mind. It doesn't matter.”
Her jaw clenches as she throws her hands in the air. “Fine. You don't have to come with us tonight if you don't want to, Chloe. I'm not going to force you.” With a huff, she gets up from the table and tosses her garbage before heading from the kitchen. Right before she steps out of the kitchen, Abbie says, “Ashtyn, wait.”
She turns around and folds her arms in front of her body. She’s closed off and impatiently tapping her toe on the ground. Ashtyn is throwing her best bitch mode out there, and Abbie falters slightly before saying, “This isn't the Christmas any of us wanted, but it's the one we're getting. Ashtyn, stop being a bitch, and Chloe, please meet us halfway. Let’s try to have at least a little fun.”
With a huff, she replies, “I’m going to go spend the day with my Kindle. How about we plan on leaving here by six?”
Abbie nods her head in agreement and turns her focus to me. “Chloe, are you coming with us?”
I’m so caught up in the conversation going on around me that she catches me off guard. I open my mouth and my voice comes out in a weird monotone sound when I say, “Fine, whatever.”
With that, Ashtyn turns toward her precious Kindle. Abbie only stays long enough to clean up her breakfast mess and head off to wherever she plans on spending the day. I suddenly find myself alone in the kitchen, and I have no idea what to do. After cleaning up my mess and heading toward my bedroom, I pull out my phone and do yet another round of Marlowe- and Hudson-related Google searches. It’s going to be a very long day.
***
Falling for Hudson (Marlowe series Book 2) Page 18
