Change of Heart by Jack Allen

by Unknown

  “It’s part of the job?” he said, as if unsure of his own answer.

  “This, to you, is just a job?”

  Joshua’s eyebrows went down and his forehead furrowed, like he was concentrating. He looked so cute, like a little boy trying to solve a math problem.

  “It’s just what I do. Some people paint, some are carpenters.

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  I catch bad guys. I do the dirty work.”

  “Why?”

  Joshua shrugged, as if the answer should be obvious. “It needs to be done.”

  “Do you always get your job done?”

  “I’ve been lucky so far.”

  “Aren’t you afraid of dying?”

  Valeria could see he was annoyed with her pestering questions, but she wanted to keep asking. For some reason, she needed to know everything about him. Joshua shrugged again.

  “Sure. As much as anyone else, I guess. I never really thought about it.”

  He got up from the bed and she wondered where he was going.

  He couldn’t leave now. She still wanted to know about his family and his girlfriends and what he did when he wasn’t catching bad guys for the American government.

  “Where are you going?” she said.

  “I’m gonna take a shower. Then I’m gonna get us something to eat. I’m starving.”

  He went into the bathroom and closed the door. Valeria stayed in the chair for a long time, listening to the water running in the shower. Eventually she realized this was her chance to get away.

  She walked to the door, listening for the shower to stop, and went out to the hall. A maid was there, going into a room at the other end. Valeria pulled the door closed to just before it latched and let go to see if it would swing open. It didn’t.

  She walked down the three flights of stairs to the lobby. It was late and the lobby was quiet. Behind the desk was a single person with his back turned. Ahead were the front doors. She walked toward them. Escape was only a few feet away. She hated to do this to Joshua. He didn’t deserve more hardships. He was going to be very angry with her, she knew, but this was something she had to do for herself.

  A green and white police car pulled up outside the front doors and Valeria stopped. The side door of the car opened and Change of Heart

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  Hidaka got out. He leaned in the car and said something to the driver, then the police car drove off. Hidaka started up the steps to the front door.

  Valeria spun around before he saw her and went back to the stairway. As she started up, she heard the doors open and recognized Hidaka’s voice. He spoke in Japanese with the person at the desk. She continued up the stairs, back to the room. The door was still open just a crack. The shower was still running, so she sat down.

  Her mind raced. Why was Hidaka there? She did not fear him, but she feared what he might do to her. If he somehow found out she was a former KGB spy, he might arrest her and put her on trial and lock her up forever and she would be terribly humiliated, and worst of all she would never see Yuri again. Why didn’t she just go out the back door and disappear?

  Because she needed Joshua, she realized, answering her own question. If Hidaka was after her he would have little trouble tracking her down. She needed Joshua’s resourcefulness, and she needed it now before Hidaka came up those steps and knocked on the door.

  She got up to get Joshua out of the shower, but the shower stopped and she sat back down. Joshua came out wearing his slacks, with his shirt in his hands. His hair was wet and tiny drops of water covered his skin. He had dark hair on his muscular chest, covering several scars, she noticed. He put on the tank top shirt and pulled the khaki shirt on over it, leaving it unbuttoned. She could barely contain her anxiousness.

  “Hidaka’s here,” Valeria blurted.

  Joshua looked at her. “Here?”

  “Downstairs.”

  “Did you speak to him?” he said.

  She shook her head, expecting him to ask what she was doing downstairs.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she said, confused.

  “Good. So am I. I didn’t feel like eating hotel food, anyway.

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  Let’s go,” he said, ushering her to the door.

  He stuck his head out, checking both ends of the hallway, then led her out of the room and shut the door. They went down the hall away from the stairs. She heard voices coming up. Joshua must have heard them as well, because he shoved her into a dark alcove for a maintenance closet, and they peered around the corner.

  Just as she imagined, Hidaka came up the stairs with the hotel manager, speaking to each other in Japanese. To her it was gib-berish, but right then she really didn’t want to know what they were saying.

  The manager pointed to the door of their room. Hidaka knocked.

  Valeria’s heart was pounding, and she knew it was not just because of the danger. The danger excited her, but so did Joshua.

  She was pressed against his hard body. His skin was warm and smelled clean through the clothes. Her knees felt weak. She tried to ignore the guilt she had for feeling this way about a strange man despite her fierce love for Yuri. She feared she might not live much longer, and if that happened, she might regret missing the opportunity to take Joshua into her bed. As she pressed the palm of her hand against his hard, hairy chest, she longed to feel his warm, bare skin on hers.

  Hidaka said something to the manager, who stepped forward and unlocked the door. The moment they went inside, Joshua dragged Valeria out of the alcove to the exit at the end of the hall.

  They stood on the landing of an open air stairway partially enclosed by brickwork. They went down one flight and Joshua stopped.

  “Look,” he said, pointing through a flower shaped opening in the brick wall.

  She looked. A pair of police cars waited in the parking lot.

  Valeria felt herself panicking. They had caught her. She had nowhere else to go.

  “Hidaka brought some friends to the party,” Joshua said.

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  She looked up at him and he grinned back. She couldn’t understand what he meant or why he was grinning when they were in such danger.

  “Let’s get out of here,” she insisted, her jaw clenched.

  She yanked his arm and dragged him down the steps. The policemen were talking and smoking cigarettes, not looking their way. Valeria pushed open the glass door at the bottom of the stairs and slipped out with Joshua in tow. They went around to the back of the building. Another policeman with a flashlight was poking in the trash cans and boxes stacked in the narrow alley.

  He stood under the only streetlight that illuminated the alley.

  “Over here,” Joshua said.

  He tugged Valeria’s sleeve and she followed him into the shadows behind a wall as another police car drove by. When it was clear, they walked away from the hotel, staying out of the lights.

  Sapporo was an active city at night. The streets were crowded with traffic and the sidewalks crowded with people. Valeria and Joshua found themselves walking among the people on a street illuminated by bright neon lights.

  Some people looked at them strangely and Valeria realized they must look somewhat odd. In the first place, they weren’t Japanese, which made them stick out. Joshua was taller than anyone else, and they still wore the clothes they had when they were fished out of the sea, Joshua in his khaki naval uniform and she in Ron Finn’s poorly fitting denims and shirt. If the police asked anyone, people would have no trouble giving a description.

  “What is that?” Valeria said, pointing to a sign with a pair of yellow arches and a name written in English.

  “It’s a McDonald’s,” Joshua said, giving her a funny look.

  “Can I get a cheeseburger there?”

  “Sure.”

  She grabbed his hand. “Take me there.” The cheeseburger was the most delicious thing she ate in
as long as she could remember. She relished every bite. Joshua watched her with amusement, and she ignored him. The last 192

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  thing she wanted to do was admit he was right about something so frivolous.

  “What will we do now?” she asked.

  Joshua paused before he answered, eating the fried potatoes one at a time.

  “Well, we can’t stay here. We can’t go back to the hotel. We have to find a phone so I can call the Embassy and let them know who we really are.”

  “We should have done that at the hotel. Then we wouldn’t be fugitives.”

  “You’re right, of course. I thought we had more time,” he said, and she was surprised.

  She expected him to insist he was right because he was the man and he never made mistakes. Any Russian man would be so stubborn and obstinate, except Yuri, of course. She had assumed American men were no different. It seemed she still had a lot to learn about Joshua McGowan.

  “There must be a phone on the corner,” she said.

  “I’m sure there is. You ready to go?” They threw out the trash and left. On the sidewalk outside the restaurant, they looked to each end of the block for a telephone booth.

  “There’s one,” he said, pointing to a telephone at the corner on the opposite side of the street.

  Joshua held Valeria’s hand and they crossed the street, weav-ing between the slow traffic.

  They were no more than twenty yards from the phone when a police car stopped at the corner by the phone, and a pair of policemen got out. Joshua and Valeria stopped, then turned away.

  “In here,” he said, pushing open the door of the nearest building.

  They entered a dark, noisy nightclub packed with people.

  Colored lights flashed on a crowd of people on the dance floor.

  A man sitting on a stool just inside the door said something to Joshua and he gave him some of the Japanese money, then they were allowed to go in.

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  Valeria was growing tired of running from the police. She didn’t want to run anymore. She wanted to go home and live in peace and raise a family with Yuri. She wanted no more of this being chased around the world and running from people who wanted to hurt her and use her.

  And she began to doubt if Joshua was going to be able to help her get home. She looked into his face. Did he know what he was doing? So far he had got her nowhere. Maybe it was time to take things in her own hands. She always managed to survive, she always managed to get things done on her own. If Joshua wouldn’t be able to help her, she would have to do it herself.

  As he led her toward the bar, she looked around the club, trying to figure out how to get away from him. It was like trying to ditch a persistent date.

  They reached the bar and stood at the far end, obscuring themselves behind a couple locked in an embrace and groping each other, oblivious to the noisy crowd surrounding them. Joshua looked past them in the direction of the door.

  “I want a vodka,” she said over the noise, pulling on his shirt to get his attention.

  He turned to her and she could barely see his face in the darkness.

  “Now?” he said.

  “Yes, now.” She wasn’t sure yet how to get away from him, but she had a feeling this was a part of it. “Let’s stay here until they leave us alone.”

  “They might search this place,” he said.

  She could tell he was reaching for excuses.

  “They’ll never find us here.”

  He looked at her for a minute like he was trying to decide what to do, then gave in and ordered a vodka. The bartender poured it and set the shot glass in front of Joshua. He slid it to Valeria and went back to watching the door.

  Valeria took a sip and spit it out, grimacing. It was the worst vodka she ever tasted. Surely, it couldn’t have been made in Russia. They didn’t even export anything that bad. She put the glass 194

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  down. It was so bad she didn’t even want to finish it.

  Joshua glanced at her.

  “You all right?” he said.

  She shook her head and pushed the glass away. He looked at it, then picked it up and poured the rest of it down his throat.

  He made a disgusted sound and looked at her with a face like he swallowed rotten fish.

  “Japanese vodka,” he said, and she laughed.

  He laughed with her, and she was surprised. This was something she could work with. He was no longer watching the door, no longer worried about the police. She decided to push it a little further.

  A slow song started and she looked at the dance floor. The couples put their arms around each other and danced close.

  “Dance with me?” she asked, leaning close to Joshua’s ear.

  He nodded and they went to the dance floor. They stood face to face, gazing into each other’s eyes. She put her arms around his neck. He put his hands on her slender hips and she felt a thrill shoot through her body. His big, strong hands made her feel secure. She imagined laying naked in bed with this man, spreading her legs over him, and she felt ashamed of herself.

  She pressed her body against him. His arms closed around her waist and their hips swayed to the music. She laid her head on his shoulder. It was a delightful feeling and she could have stayed there forever, wrapped in his arms, losing herself in him, but that was not what she was there to do. She had to remember to keep herself distant like she did when she worked for Mironov and slept with strange men for the sake of national security. She was once an expert at manipulating men, and those old skills still came in handy.

  They were near the edge of the dance floor. She had a good view of the small tables lining the floor. They moved near them.

  Valeria lifted her head from Joshua’s shoulder and looked up to his face. He looked back at her with those deep, honest eyes.

  She had not considered how difficult this would to be.

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  She let her lips part. She was aware how irresistible her beauty could be to men. It was something she frequently used to great advantage. And it worked, of course. Joshua took the invitation and leaned down, bringing his face closer to hers. His eyes closed, his head tilted to the side, and their lips pressed together.

  It was incredibly sensual, so much that Valeria almost forgot what she was trying to do. One of the tables was just within her reach. A pair of young men were sitting at it, both drinking beer from bottles. She reached down and grabbed one. The young men were gawking at women and didn’t notice. Valeria raised the bottle, careful not to make any sudden moves. She did not want the kiss to end, yet.

  Cold beer spilled from the bottle as she turned it over and swung it up as hard as she could, and cracked it against Joshua’s head. Beer and broken glass splashed over both of them.

  Josh’s head snapped up. Valeria held her breath, horrified to see the look in his eyes. It wasn’t the look of anger or shock she expected. It was a look of ... hurt. Then his eyes glazed over and he fell to the floor. Valeria dropped the broken bottle and turned away. She hated herself for doing that to him, yet it was no different than what she did in the past to dozens of innocent men. Wasn’t it?

  She glanced back over her shoulder. The people on the dance floor cleared an area around Joshua, staring down at him. He struggled to get up from his hands and knees. No one tried to help. Valeria felt a flash of pity and regret, then bit it down and continued to the front door and out of the club.

  The street was still crowded. The police were nowhere in sight, but they could appear when she least expected. Police were like that. She started walking, not knowing or caring where to go, just away from Joshua.

  She heard a commotion and looked back. Joshua had come out of the club. She gasped and raised her hand to her mouth.

  He looked horrible. The left shoulder of his shirt was soaked with beer and red with blood. She did that. She had hurt him.

  He staggered to th
e sidewalk, scanning the crowd. Someone 196

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  screamed and people parted to stay away from him like he was a monster. Valeria changed direction and crossed the street. On the other side, she looked back again. Joshua had seen her and was staggering in her direction. His face was black with anger and she wanted to run.

  He never saw the bus. Valeria screamed in horror when he stepped off the curb. The bus’s tires squealed. Someone on the sidewalk screamed. Joshua looked up and raised his arms. The bus skidded to a stop, hit him and knocked him down.

  Valeria couldn’t see him on the other side of the cars, but she was certain he was dead. She started to run back and stopped when she heard whistles. A pair of policemen ran up the street toward the accident. She stopped on the curb while people surged past her to get a look, then turned and walked away, wiping away tears she could not stop.

  * * * *

  He didn’t feel pain until he tried to move. Then he heard a groan that sounded like it came from a different room. Strange.

  He didn’t know how long he’d been lying where he was, didn’t really care, either. It was warm and comfortable and he could enjoy staying there. Except for the pain.

  Where the hell was he, anyway? There were no sounds to give him any clues. He hated to open his eyes to find out, but he supposed he would have to eventually.

  Josh peeled his eyes open. They felt glued shut. At first, all he saw were blurry images. He blinked a couple of times and his eyesight cleared, except for some kind of bandage on his nose that blocked his vision. He was on his back on a bed in a small room with plain, white walls. It must have been a hospital. How the hell did he get in a hospital?

  The door swung open and someone entered, a young man in a white labcoat. He came to the side of the bed, looking over a chart.

  Josh stared up at him. The young man spoke, but the words were unintelligible noises until Josh realized he was speaking Japanese, Change of Heart

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  but by then the man had switched to broken English.

  “You feel how?” the young man said, although his word ‘feel’

  sounded more like ‘fear’.