Countdown

by Julie Cannon

  Kenner studied her for a few seconds longer before brushing past her and walking out the door.

  Chapter Seventeen

  T-minus 05:43:08:55

  Andrea felt her control returning. She fell back on what she knew was best—take command and take control of a horrible situation. At least it was horrible for her. When she had seen Kenner and Susie in their cozy post-coital position, her mind had gone blank, and when Susie had started sucking on Kenner’s ear, she’d dropped her tray.

  Somehow she was able to maintain some dignity as she walked out of the dining room. The only good thing was that, other than the two lovebirds, only a few people had witnessed her embarrassment. She held her head high and identified each step in her head as she left the scene. Left, right, left, right; the familiar cadence sang in her head. She needed to force herself in order to keep putting one foot in front of the other to get to her office, where she could then collapse in private.

  She successfully made it, and once the door was locked, she leaned back against it and slid to the floor. Her hands were shaking, and she was dizzy and having trouble catching her breath. Jesus, what was wrong with her?

  Andrea didn’t know how long she sat there, but when noise in the hall caught her attention, she stood. She smoothed her pants, re-tucked her shirt, and positioned her belt buckle directly in the center of her stomach. She wiped her face with both hands and unlocked the door, ready to face another day.

  Andrea didn’t know whether she was relieved or disappointed when Kenner was in attendance at the morning briefing. Her hair was damp and she was wearing a teal-colored polo shirt with NASA embroidered over her left breast. The shirt was similar to the one Andrea had bought in the gift shop for her dad last Christmas, but it certainly fit him differently than it did her.

  Her eyes kept straying to Kenner, and unlike yesterday’s fiasco of a meeting, Andrea forced herself to concentrate on everything that was said. She took copious notes, referring to them often when she asked for clarification or when the team members backtracked to rehash the status of something. Every time Kenner spoke, Andrea could have sworn her heart skipped a couple of beats, and then her blood simmered with anger because her body had betrayed her. She didn’t want anything to do with Kenner. She didn’t care who she had sex with. All she cared about was turning this failing mission into a success.

  When no one was looking at her, Andrea was looking at Kenner. She had a red mark on her neck, but from this distance Andrea couldn’t tell if it was a hickey or just a red mark of some kind. Her stomach churned at the thought of what Kenner had been doing and what Susie had been doing to Kenner for her to get that hickey.

  When the meeting was over she stood, and everyone filed out of the room. Andrea breathed a sigh of relief when Kenner was one of them. Unfortunately, that relief didn’t last long because Barry was waiting for her on the other side of the door.

  “See you a minute, Andrea.”

  “Of course,” she said, stepping back into the room. As Barry shut the door behind them her brain went into overdrive. What did he want to talk about? She was due to brief him after this meeting. Everyone was working hard together to solve this problem. Everyone except Kenner, of course. Andrea didn’t sit down in the chair she’d recently vacated, preferring to stand. If Barry was going to come down on her about something, she didn’t want to be sitting while he stood over her pointing his finger. Staying on her feet was a subtle gesture, but it gave her the confidence she needed.

  “What’s up?” she asked, showing Barry she wasn’t going to shy away from any conversation with him

  Barry looked at her, hard. Andrea kept telling herself, don’t move, maintain eye contact.

  “How is Kenner Hutchings working out?”

  Shit, Andrea thought. This was about Kenner? Why did everything have to be about Kenner? “She’s working well with the team. She’s starting to grasp the big picture and how all of the systems relate to each other. She asks good questions.”

  “But is she contributing?”

  “She’s helped some of the areas look at things differently. Like I said, she’s asking the right questions and getting everyone to rethink, to not just assume they know the answer.”

  “But is she solving this problem?” Barry asked. He finally sat down.

  Andrea followed him, thankful that in addition to controlling how she answered Barry’s questions, she didn’t need to continue to worry that her shaking legs wouldn’t hold her up much longer. “If we had a solution, Barry, I would have let you know. First thing.”

  “We’re running out of time, Andrea.”

  “I’m aware of that,” she replied. The look on Barry’s face told her just how sharp her tone was. ‘We’re getting there, Barry. We’re making progress. Not only are we ruling things out, but we’re almost to the point that we can start zeroing in and focusing on key areas. Kenner is a big part of that process.”

  “We’re paying through the nose for her, Andrea. I need to see results.”

  This statement infuriated Andrea. She understood his position. He was management, so his concern was the budget, the schedule, the public relations. She, however, was worried about the life and death of the crew members entrusted to her care. She didn’t give a shit how much it cost to get them home safely. Her job was to do it.

  She tempered her anger when she said, “I understand that, Barry. I can’t speak to that point, but I can understand how someone with Kenner’s skill and experience and reputation would not come for free. She’s worth every penny.”

  Andrea was surprised at her own statement. Wasn’t it just yesterday she’d accused Kenner of being lazy because she was shooting hoops on the basketball court? And wasn’t it the day before that she did the same thing because Kenner had her feet on the console?

  “I’ve done a little digging on Miss Hutchings.”

  Andrea’s breakfast, what little she’d been able to eat after this morning’s humiliation, started to churn.

  Barry looked to his left, then right, as if checking to see that no one could overhear them. God, now what?

  “She’s a lesbian,” Barry said, his teeth clenched with barely concealed disgust.

  Andrea choked back a laugh of disbelief. Had he actually said that? I need to be very careful here, she thought. “And?”

  “And? Is that all you have to say, ‘And’?” Barry mimicked her word.

  “That doesn’t matter.”

  “It doesn’t?”

  Jesus, was he going to repeat everything she said? “No, it doesn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because she’s not here to have sex with someone to get the magic key that will start the engines.”

  The look on Barry’s face told her she might have overstepped her bounds far. She wasn’t so far down the path that she couldn’t stop and backtrack, but damn it, she didn’t want to.

  “Barry, you said it yourself. We’re paying for her brain and her skills and her deductive reasoning. Good God, she looked at the schematics for the payload doors one time and immediately understood everything about them. She spent two hours with both Gyro and Propulsion, and she completely understands how they relate to each other. That’s what we’re paying her for. That’s what we need her to do. And whether she’s a lesbian or straight or a nun, I don’t care. This mission doesn’t care, the seven astronauts don’t care. Because it doesn’t matter.” Her voice got stronger as she continued her argument.

  “If someone thinks that it does matter, you need to set them straight, Barry. You do,” she said, pointing at him and knowing that he was the one who needed to be set straight. But she didn’t tell him that. “People respect you, Barry. They listen to you, take your lead, and you need to step above this. Everyone will see your stance, and they will do the same. If you make it a big deal, it will become one. If you don’t…” She let her voice fall away to let Barry reach his own conclusion. “So if you’ll excuse me,” she said brazenly before he could counter her s
tatement with an argument of his own. “I need to get back to the control room.

  She hesitated for a few moments, giving him the opportunity to keep her there if he wanted to say anything else. When he didn’t, she stood. “I know you’ll do the right thing, Barry. I’ll talk to you later.” She exited the conference room, leaving the door open behind her.

  This time when she walked down the hall, her legs were a little weak and her hands were shaking from anger. She hadn’t realized that her boss thought this way, but it was clear that he did. She breathed a sigh of relief that she had kept her private life private. She wasn’t in the closet but also didn’t comment on things that were nobody’s business. She talked about her weekend plans, just like everyone else did. Everyone knew she was single, and they also knew she was totally committed to her work. What they thought of that, she didn’t care. All she did care about was how they thought of her as a leader.

  She was absolutely safe from any speculation. She hadn’t heard any gossip going around about her. She knew enough people that would tell her. But Barry thinking that Kenner was not qualified to do this job just because of who she had sex with was abhorrent. She would need to be very careful with her interactions with Kenner in the future.

  Andrea walked into the control room, and nobody lifted their head to see who had come in. Her team members were dedicated. They had a job to do and they were doing it. She made her way through the room, stopping for a few minutes at each station. She asked a few questions and answered others but generally was just getting the feel of what was going on.

  As she approached Kenner’s workstation she contemplated passing by it and moving on to the next one. What would that say to everyone? That Kenner didn’t matter? That she was just a showpiece? Not adding any value? What would that say to Kenner? That she was afraid of her? Afraid of what Kenner might say? What she’d insinuate? Afraid to be around her, to talk to her? Andrea stepped forward and put aside everything personal about this situation and pulled out her professionalism. She stopped just behind Kenner’s left shoulder.

  Kenner knew Andrea was behind her. Somehow she always knew when Andrea was around. Of course people were always aware when bad news was coming. And Andrea was definitely bad news. “Look, if you’re going to rag on me, or bitch at me, or criticize me, can we do it later? I’m working on something right now.”

  Kenner didn’t care how she sounded. She really didn’t. She’d decided she was here for one thing and one thing only. Get this job done, add another bullet to her resumé, take her paycheck to the bank, and move on. She could do that, she’d done it before. This was like high school and college. You do what you need to do. You keep your eyes and ears open, your mouth shut, your head down, and do your work.

  Surprisingly, Andrea didn’t say anything, and it wasn’t long before she moved on to the station to her left. Kenner was relieved they weren’t going to have another verbal sparring match, because quite frankly she didn’t know how much more she could take. No one had ever set her off like Andrea did. She never allowed anyone to have that much power over her because that meant they got under her skin. And nobody got under her skin. That meant she cared. And that meant that person had the power to hurt her, and no one would ever hurt her like Eva had.

  She had planned to spend the rest of her life with Eva Compton. They’d met when Kenner was in grad school at MIT. Kenner had just turned twenty, and Eva worked as a waitress on the night shift at the coffee shop Kenner frequented during her many bouts with insomnia. Kenner didn’t have many friends, if any, really. Even at that stage of her education she was still the odd one in class, only this time not just as still the smartest but the youngest, and the animosity was ferocious. Whereas in grade school and high school the traditional competition had revolved around boy-girl relationships, the mocking of Kenner had centered on her freakish brain and her butch dress and behavior. In college and even grad school, everyone was supposed to be more mature, at least theoretically, so the animosity was far more subtle. Everyone was vying to be the top of their class and get the premier job offer, which came with big bucks. Most didn’t care who they stepped on, or over, or even crushed to get there. And Kenner was the prime target.

  Their conversations had started out innocent enough, Eva sitting across from Kenner when the coffee shop wasn’t busy. Fortunately, or what Kenner came to realize later, unfortunately that was almost every night. The topics had begun innocuously enough: the weather, movies, funny stories about Eva’s customers and Kenner’s classmates. But when their conversations moved from the diner to a real restaurant, to Kenner’s living room and ultimately her bed, their communication became very nonverbal. Eva was the first person who had looked at her and recognized her for who she was. She wasn’t interested in exploiting Kenner’s brain for her own personal gain, amusement, or benefit. Or at least Kenner had thought so. No, she’d believed so. Until Eva ran off with a traveling salesman.

  At first Kenner thought Stan, Eva’s boss, was joking when he told her. A traveling salesman? How clichéd was that? But after weeks of silence to her voice messages and texts, Kenner finally accepted the fact that Eva had left.

  She was devastated, to say the least, because she had pretty much kept to herself during most of her turbulent adolescent years. Eva had been her first, and as such Kenner had fallen hard. Very hard. She had opened herself up to Eva, spilling her hopes and dream and fears. She had laughed, cried, hidden, and explored life with her. But in the end, it had all come crumbling down on and around her head. She wasn’t interested in experiencing that trauma again and kept her subsequent relationships superficial.

  Kenner thought about the last twelve hours. How had her situation gone from a simple question about her hotel, to sleeping on a fucking cot in the locker room, to getting reamed out by Andrea because of the false impression she had about her and Susie? Would they ever be able to have a decent, civilized conversation? Or even a professional one? Their acquaintance had barely started out that way and had gone drastically downhill from there.

  Kenner forced her attention back to the screen in front of her and concentrated on the numbers. She pulled up a schematic on her second screen, then bent closer and picked up her pencil and started jotting furiously. She was on to something. She wasn’t certain what exactly, but it was something. A piece of the puzzle had fallen into place, and she grabbed at it like a drowning man grabbing a lifeline.

  The clicking of fingers on keyboards and constant subdued conversation around her disappeared, and her focus became razor sharp on the data in front of her. She filled up page after page with notes, jotting down theories based on what she’d discovered. She fleshed each one out, outlining her thoughts and then zeroing in on specific steps. She didn’t realize how long she’d been working until a sheet of paper slid in front of her. Irritated at the interruption, she glanced at it and saw the logo of a local hotel along with the words reservation confirmation and her name. After writing a few more notes on the pad, she put her pencil down and picked up the paper.

  Her first glance proved correct. It confirmed that she had a room at a hotel she’d seen on one of the streets they’d passed while driving to and from Andrea’s house. She was in a suite with a king-size bed and breakfast, and a rental car was waiting for her when she checked in.

  She looked around, expecting to see Andrea hovering nearby with a smile on her face, relieved to be losing her houseguest. “Where’s the boss?” she asked the middle-aged man with a crew cut and forty extra pounds to her left.

  “I don’t know,” he mumbled.

  When no further conversation or possible location of Andrea was forthcoming, Kenner stood up and stretched, the bones in her back popping. She’d been hunched over her desk all day, and the growling of her stomach told her she’d missed lunch. It was ten minutes after seven, and she was more than ready for dinner. She could run down to the cafeteria and grab something, but she didn’t want to keep Andrea waiting. It would probably piss her off, and Ken
ner weighed that option for a few seconds before deciding against it. Instead she hit the vending machine down the hall, slid her card through the reader, and selected a package of cinnamon Pop Tarts and a Cherry Coke.

  When she turned the fourth corner to get back to the control room, she saw Andrea swiping her badge to enter. She hurried to catch up. “Hey, Andrea.”

  The security guard stood, blocking the doorway. “No tailgating,” she said, a frown stretched across her forehead.

  “What?” Kenner was confused.

  “Tailgate. That’s what it’s called when you follow someone into a secured area without badging in yourself,” Andrea said.

  “But the door is already open.”

  “It’s not a matter of opening the door but personnel accountability.” Andrea’s tone was one of annoyance, like she was explaining something very simple. “This is a highly secured facility,” she said, like Kenner was an idiot. “And absolute accountability for every person in this building and where they are authorized to enter is a requirement.”

  “So big brother follows us everywhere,” Kenner said, more than a little sarcastic.

  “For security reasons.”

  Andrea didn’t move, and this conversation was verging on the ridiculous. Because of that, and the fact that the security butch was looking at her suspiciously, Kenner said, “Oh, for God’s sake,” and swiped her badge next to the door. Andrea stepped into the room, and the blinking green light on the card reader was Kenner’s reward for following orders.

  “Andrea,” Kenner said again.

  Andrea turned around, an annoyed look on her face.

  “The hotel room.”

  “What?”

  “My hotel room. You gave me the paper with the reservation information.”

  “Oh, yes,” she said. And that was all she said. God, getting any information out of her was like pulling the sword from a stone.

  “I’m ready whenever you are.”