One Little White Lie

by Loretta Hill

  She swallowed hard as she felt her resolve threaten to crumble. Was she being overly guarded? Was it time to bring down those walls she’d erected around herself? It had been two years since Mark’s betrayal. As heartbreaking as that experience had been, it wasn’t this man’s fault. Seeing her ex the other night had shown her already how different Henry was from Mark.

  He seemed so sincere.

  So honest.

  Like an open book. What you see is what you get. Mark had never been so earnest in his pursuit of her. Should she just let Henry in? Trust him?

  As though sensing her weakening resolve he added, ‘Come on, Kate, what’s a bit of time out from your usual life?’

  The expression in his eyes, coupled with the quiet need in his tone, made her hands tremble.

  ‘A … and if I don’t agree to your, er … proposition?’ she stammered.

  ‘Then I might have to sign up for your Tuesday yoga class.’

  She groaned. The thought of having him there every Tuesday, shamelessly continuing this ridiculous game, made up her mind for her.

  ‘All right, you win, I agree.’ She threw up her hands in surrender.

  CHAPTER 7

  For their first date, they decided to meet at an Italian restaurant in The Rocks, Kate’s favourite part of town. Located on the southern shore of Sydney Harbour, it boasted great views and gorgeous sandstone buildings. She loved the historic atmosphere of the area that made her feel like she had stepped back in time to the days of the first settlers. Henry offered to pick her up for the evening. But she didn’t want him to know exactly where she lived, given his tendency to wade into her life whenever it took his fancy, so she told him she’d meet him there.

  ‘Go late,’ Lisa advised. ‘That way you can make an entrance.’

  ‘What makes you think I want to make an entrance?’ Kate scoffed.

  ‘The fact that you’re going at all speaks volumes,’ Lisa retorted. ‘I’ve been trying all year to get you to date. But this guy gets you to agree to three in one sitting … I know you like him.’

  Kate was silent.

  ‘Oh, for goodness sake,’ Lisa laughed. ‘It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Embrace it, girl!’

  Kate looked at her hands. ‘Lisa, I’m scared.’

  Her best friend immediately sobered. ‘I’m not surprised, honey, you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t.’

  ‘You don’t understand.’ Kate fidgeted as she felt the truth hovering on tongue. A truth she didn’t want to face but now knew she had to. ‘This guy …’ she paused. ‘This guy is different. I think he has the potential to hurt me far worse than Mark ever did.’

  ‘Or make you far happier than Mark ever could,’ Lisa pointed out optimistically.

  ‘Maybe.’ Kate put her head in her hands and moaned. ‘I don’t know. I’m just really confused right now.’

  Confused, because she thought she’d made a decision to swear off men and dating and now here she was with a full diary.

  ‘The thing is,’ Lisa squeezed her hand, ‘life is risk. We have to live with the consequences of our choices but if you don’t put yourself out there, you’ll also never find happiness. Please, Kate, don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Give him a chance.’

  Kate thought about the lengths to which Henry had gone to meet her. The sincere smile in his eyes. The way he was so honest about his feelings. She thought about his words that night at the engagement party.

  There comes a point when you just need more out of life.

  More what? she had whispered.

  I don’t know. Just less empty.

  They were like two peas in a pod that had come together at the perfect time. It seemed churlish to smack fate in the face.

  She looked up at her best friend, who was still watching her carefully, and her mouth formed a tentative smile. ‘I hate it when you’re right.’

  ‘Woo-hoo!’ Lisa whooped. ‘Finally! OK, let’s move onto more important matters. Like what you’re planning on wearing.’

  But now standing on the threshold of the quaint little restaurant, dressed in a slimming black dress she and Lisa had picked out a couple of days earlier, her palms were sweating and her heart racing.

  Am I doing the right thing?

  Will he try to kiss me?

  What am I going to say to him?

  What if he decides I’m not who he thought I was?

  This was nothing like when she’d first met Mark. He had tempted her like a chocolate cupcake you could reluctantly but easily turn down. Henry, by comparison, was a dessert buffet – a limitless array of flavours and sensations. You just wanted to have something. Anything.

  That’s how she’d landed in this mess. A complete lack of willpower.

  ‘Excuse me, ma’am, can I take you to a table?’ She quickly looked up to find that the maître d’ had seen her hovering at the entrance.

  Now or never.

  Kate hadn’t seen him yet but he had been watching her. She’d been standing outside the front door of the restaurant, biting her lower lip, while Henry was in the alfresco area just to the left of the entrance. He’d chosen an outdoor table because of the great iconic backdrop of the Harbour Bridge. The might of the giant steel arches was almost reassuring on this balmy night where he knew he had to make the right impression.

  She looked gorgeous, dressed elegantly in a simple black dress that fitted snugly around her perfectly shaped hips. He loved the way she moved, somehow striking the perfect balance between graceful and sexy.

  His chest tightened as she turned her head and looked directly at him. A delicious flush coloured her cheeks but she squared her shoulders, seeming to abandon any lingering self-doubt. She was nervous and he liked that.

  He was nervous too.

  He’d given tonight a lot of thought. And just to start, he didn’t want to delve into the whole H. L. Carter, I’m-as-rich-as-a-small-country scenario. He just wanted to be himself and see where that led, and then maybe tell her about his alter ego at the end of the night.

  They had both come out of bad relationships and he thought it would be better to get to know her without all the nonsense.

  No pressure.

  Just for one night.

  She was the first to break eye contact by turning away to tell the maître d’ that she had seen her table.

  He gripped his knees at her approach. Jealousy pricked him as he noticed a man at another table look up when she passed to follow her progress across the room. Did she have any idea how beautiful she was? Unexpected possessiveness made him stand as she neared. He wanted everyone at the restaurant to know that she was his date.

  Kate’s knees had nearly failed as he watched her cross the courtyard to their table. Tall, lean and sexy in a dark green collared shirt and black slacks, she could tell he’d made an effort tonight.

  ‘Hi,’ she greeted him.

  ‘Hi.’ He returned her smile. ‘Great restaurant choice.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She hoped her voice sounded calm and well modulated. It was certainly taking a lot of effort to keep it that way. The butterflies zooming around in her stomach refused to settle down. What she needed was a drink.

  Something alcoholic.

  As they sat, she signalled a passing waiter. ‘Could I have a glass of the house white, please?’

  ‘Of course, ma’am. And for the gentleman?’

  ‘The same please.’

  The waiter nodded and left.

  ‘You look amazing.’ Henry’s low timbre made her heart jump. ‘Thanks.’

  An awkward silence followed and then they both spoke at once.

  ‘So how’s your writing going?’

  ‘So how’s the thesis going?’

  He shook his head. ‘You first.’

  ‘I’ve actually found that I’ll need to do a bit more research before I can move forward. So it’s kind of at a stand still.’

  ‘That’s a shame.’

  ‘What about you? How’s the story you’re writing at th
e moment coming along?’

  He hesitated, fiddling with the cutlery on the table. ‘Much the same as your thesis, I’m afraid. I’ve got writer’s block.’

  ‘Oh.’ She cocked her head to one side. ‘Is there a reason for that?’

  He looked up and his eyes seemed to devour her. ‘Been a little distracted lately.’

  She felt her cheeks flush. ‘I see.’

  ‘I was thinking,’ his eyes returned to the tablecloth, ‘tonight let’s not talk about work. Your thesis, my writing – all the boring stuff. Let’s just focus on the rest.’

  ‘OK, you go first.’

  His shoulders seemed to relax. ‘Well, I like tennis, a lot. I often play with my brother on the weekend. He’s very competitive. But then Tom’s competitive about everything.’

  ‘So you have a brother,’ she smiled.

  ‘Yes. He takes his role as the older sibling very seriously.’

  They spoke pleasantly enough for ten minutes about each other’s families. Kate felt a warm feeling unfurling in the pit of her belly that she couldn’t blame on the wine. Henry was easy to talk and clearly sweet-natured. You would have thought they’d been friends for years rather than a couple on their first date. She began to wonder what she’d been so nervous about.

  The waiter returned to take their order. Henry picked up the menu standing on the table between them. ‘What do you recommend?’

  The waiter gave them a rundown of the house specials. Henry held out the menu to Kate. ‘You order first.’

  The action took her by surprise. ‘Oh … er …’

  She quickly took the list from his hand, self-consciously scanned it and ordered the chicken.

  ‘Did I say something wrong?’ he asked when the waiter left them, and she winced at her own transparency.

  ‘No, no it’s nothing.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ he asked. ‘Because the last thing I want to do is offend you.’

  ‘Offend me?’ She gave a derisive laugh. ‘Believe me, I’m definitely not offended.’

  ‘Really?’

  She hesitated and then said in a rush, ‘You’re going to think this is dumb, but my ex used to just order for me when we went out. Just get two of whatever he was having. He always paid, so I didn’t think anything of it. But now I realise just how bloody patronising that was. I can’t believe I put up with it.’ As she came to the end of her sentence her eyes widened in horror. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’

  You don’t talk about your ex on a first date! Hello! Dating 101.

  She looked at her hands in embarrassment. She couldn’t be that out of practice, surely? Perhaps she was just getting too comfortable with Henry. Her defences were completely down. She was confiding something in him that she’d never told anyone.

  He shook his head. ‘It’s all right.’

  ‘No, it’s not all right.’ She frowned. ‘I shouldn’t even be comparing you. The truth is, you’re absolutely nothing like him. In fact, most decent human beings are nothing like him.’

  ‘He really gave you hell, didn’t he?’

  ‘It’s my fault,’ Kate returned whimsically. ‘I let him. I let him strip me of my confidence and my identity because he was the one with the money in our relationship. I let him get away with a lot.’ She paused. ‘But I drew the line at cheating.’

  Henry’s jaw dropped. ‘He cheated on you?’

  ‘Several times.’ Kate shrugged. ‘In fact, in hindsight I don’t think he was faithful at all during our relationship. He worked a lot. And I didn’t complain about it or question the lack of time he was spending with me because I thought he was doing it for us, for our future. Pretty naïve, huh?’

  Henry reached for her hand, his touch warming her from fingertips to hair follicles. ‘It’s not naïve to believe that someone who’s supposed to love you does.’

  She cast her eyes down, suppressing a sudden fullness in her heart. She was feeling way too much way too soon.

  Change the subject.

  ‘So tell me more about your family. We spoke about your brother but what about your parents?’

  He slowly withdrew his hand to pick up his wine glass. ‘My parents got divorced when I was five. My father lives in Melbourne, where I grew up. He calls and visits all the time though. We’ve always had a good relationship.’

  ‘And your mother?’

  ‘She moved to Sydney a couple of years ago.’ His shifted uncomfortably in his seat. ‘I … see her when I can.’

  ‘But you’re not as close to her as to your father?’ she guessed tentatively.

  He frowned. ‘She … moved away after the divorce. It was basically my father who raised us so … no, not so much.’ He seemed to brighten. ‘But I’m working on that. I really do want to get to know her better and be good friends. It was hard growing up not having a maternal figure in my life. Maybe that’s why I’m so clumsy with women.’

  ‘You’re not clumsy with women,’ she protested.

  ‘I have no subtlety,’ Henry groaned. ‘I tend to speak my mind. Tom hates it.’

  ‘Well, I like it.’

  Their eyes met. ‘Good,’ he said.

  Henry was enjoying the date very much. He’d never made such an easy connection with a woman before. He loved the way she spoke affectionately about her friends and family, who seemed to go to a great deal of trouble to protect her. He could see why they did. Anyone who knew this sweet girl would want to make sure nothing hurt her. She seemed passionate about many things and knowledgeable too. She made him think and that was an aphrodisiac all on its own. Perhaps it was the burgeoning chemistry between them that lulled him into a false sense of security. But after dessert, when Kate asked, ‘So have you seen any good movies lately?’ it seemed like a harmless enough question and so he answered it.

  ‘A couple. I tend to prefer books.’

  ‘Me too,’ she agreed. ‘But what about movies that are based on books?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ he mused. ‘Sometimes sections, particularly those that I love, get lost in translation.’

  She nodded. ‘I know what you mean. They’re making one of my favourite author’s books into a movie next year. I just hope they don’t ruin it.’

  ‘Oh really, who’s your favourite author?’

  ‘H. L. Carter.’

  His fork cluttered on his plate as he dropped it. ‘H. L. Carter?’

  ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of him!’ She tossed him a look of disbelief that made his heart tap the walls of his chest. ‘His books are all the rage at the moment. But I’d just like to say that I read them before they came into fashion.”

  Henry’s eyes darted down as his voice box squeezed out a reply. ‘Now that you mention it, I think I do know who he is.’

  ‘Have you read any of his books?’

  ‘Not really.’ It was sort of true. He had written and edited his manuscripts on a computer but never picked up one of his published books and simply read it cover to cover. Who was he kidding? He was lying to her to protect himself. His gut twisted in guilt. Why not just tell her?

  Kate smiled at him. ‘You should!’

  ‘I should what?’

  ‘Read one of his books. Trust me, once you start you’ll never look back.’

  Henry swallowed. ‘That good, huh?’

  ‘Absolutely.’ Her eyes glowed. ‘Personally, I read them again and again. And when I’m feeling sad, I have this particular one, the second one in the trilogy, that never fails to pick me up. I don’t know, there’s just something about his way of telling things that resonates with me.’

  Her words affected him like a physical touch. Not only because of the manner in which they were uttered, but because her opinion meant so much to him. He was dying to ask her what she thought of a particular scene or if she liked a character that was dear to his heart, but the words caught in his throat.

  ‘I’ve just never read another author that’s affected me as much. I adore his work,’ she continued. ‘To be hon
est, I’ve always had a hankering to meet him.’

  Suddenly he was in the alarming position of being jealous of himself, making it impossible to squeeze more than an ‘Oh right’ out of his mouth.

  Perhaps his brother was right. Perhaps all women were preoccupied with capturing the attention of H. L. Carter. Was there no escape from his damn author persona? The last thing he needed in his life was a love triangle between himself, Kate and the alter ego that was starting to take on a life of its own.

  The waiter arrived at that point to remove their empty plates and give them their dessert menus. He picked up his own distractedly. Emotions warred within his brain as the past crept in to disturb his present. He inserted a finger into his collar and tugged. What should he do?

  Duh! Tell her the truth.

  Kate’s brows wrinkled as she cast a tentative look at him. ‘Are you OK?’

  He looked up, surprised that she could read him so easily. ‘Do you want to skip dessert and go for a walk? We need to talk. I mean … really talk.’

  Something had changed between dinner and dessert and she wasn’t sure quite what. Henry had lost that carefree expression on his face, but she didn’t feel close enough to him to ask why. As they exited the restaurant, a gentle breeze hit her, rejuvenating not only her skin but her soul.

  The fact was, she had really taken pleasure from tonight. If she were honest, Henry’s proposition had worked. He didn’t need three dates. This one had been enough.

  A delightful sensation crept up her arm as she felt his fingers suddenly entwine with hers. She didn’t pull away this time, but nervously kept her eyes on the surroundings. They left the centre of The Rocks and strolled down the sandstone-paved street to the edge of the cove. Lamplights sparkled on the water and she could hear rather than see the gentle lapping of tiny waves. They didn’t say anything, just for the moment content to enjoy each other’s company.

  This is how a relationship should be.

  Carefree.

  Easy.

  Peaceful.

  No drama, no lies, just togetherness.

  They reached the water’s edge and she turned to him.

  ‘You know what,’ she breathed, ‘I’m really glad you pretended to be my fake boyfriend and everything. It was the most disgraceful, outrageous, shocking thing anyone has ever done to me. But I don’t regret a single second of it. It was the most thrilling ride I’ve ever been on.’