For the Soul of an Outlaw (Outlaw Shifters Book 5)

by T. S. Joyce

  Her. Tenlee the mostly squirrel, but sometimes girl. Tenlee-Genie…Tenlee…Tenlee…Ten.

  She stepped into a living room. It was echoing wood plank floors with a gray couch and an old leather recliner. There was a small bedroom with room for a queen-size mattress, and that was about it. There was a small bed in the corner with fast cars printed on the red and blue comforter. The pillow said Gunner, and there was a brown, floppy-eared stuffed rabbit laying at the foot of the bed. Brightly colored toys and Legos littered the floor and gave the place a homey, lived-in feeling. There was a small kitchen on the back wall, but it wasn’t much more than a microwave, some counter space, and a sink. And the only table in the place was a small one that separated the TV and the couch.

  “It’s not much,” Kurt murmured. He’d been watching her take everything in, but what he was looking for on her face, she hadn’t a clue.

  “It’s more than enough,” she said. “It’s comfortable. A good nest. Good for Gunner and good for you.”

  “Is it good for you?”

  “I like it very much.”

  “I have somethin’ else I want to ask you.”

  “Okay. Shoot.”

  Kurt lifted his hand to her cheek, hesitated for a moment, then brushed a flyaway strand out of her face. “Will you let me take you out tomorrow?”

  Tenlee frowned. “You mean outside?”

  “No, I mean out to dinner. Just you and me.”

  “Oh,” she murmured happily. “Another first.”

  “You’ve never been asked out on a date?”

  “I’ve been taken out on dates, I guess, but never been asked if I wanted to.” She shrugged up one shoulder as the butterflies tickled her stomach again. Tenlee reached up and cupped his cheeks just for an excuse to touch him. “Sure. I want to go out. With you. I mean…I want you to take me out.”

  “I have an admission.”

  “Uh oh. What is it?”

  Kurt cleared his throat and then turned his head, kissed her palm. “I already counted on you sayin’ yes, so I planned a whole day for you. A special one.”

  “For me? You made plans for me?”

  “Yeah, Ten. You’re very special to me. Just you. No Origin stuff. I mean, you’re special. I like how sweet and honest you are, and I really liked how your face looked all soft and happy when you were holding Gunner earlier. I like that you’re protective and you aren’t afraid to bite if someone messes with your people. I like bein’ around you because you make my insides feel lighter. Like all the bad shit I done is forgivable. You make me feel like if I work hard enough, I could be redeemed. And redemption is a big deal to a man like me.”

  “To an outlaw?”

  He huffed a breath and nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Well, to me, you don’t have anything you need to be redeemed for. To me, you’re already a good man. The best I ever met. Outlaw or no, I’m proud to be around you.”

  Kurt pulled her in close and hugged her up tight. Against her ear, he murmured, “I’m gonna make it to where you’ll be okay.”

  She didn’t like that. Didn’t like the sadness in his voice. She wanted him to be happy always and not talk like they had no future. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

  He swayed gently with her like a dance. Another first. Back and forth, back and forth, but she didn’t miss that he hadn’t responded, so she repeated her promise, “Kurt, you aren’t going anywhere.”

  “I wish that was true, Ten. You have no idea how much I wish that was true.”

  “Silly man. You haven’t learned it yet, but you will.”

  “Learned what?”

  “To trust me like you said you do. You said I need no proof with you. My words are enough, right?”

  She could hear him swallow right before he nodded his head. “That’s right.”

  “Okay then.” She planted a lingering kiss on his cheek, then smiled up at him and uttered his promise as her own, “I’m gonna make it to where you’ll be okay.”

  Now, she didn’t know much about love, only what she felt in her heart, but she was pretty sure smiles like the one Kurt wore meant she was doing something right. She was pretty sure this was how it was supposed to work. They both made efforts to make each other happy and make sure they were okay. Like a team. Like a miniature Clan.

  No…like a little family. She’d never really had one of those, and she would be damned if she watched the life she and Kurt were building get cut down too soon.

  And besides…it wasn’t just an empty promise to save him.

  Tenlee had a plan.

  Chapter Seventeen

  She couldn’t sleep anymore.

  Tenlee pressed her palm over her sleeping mate’s slow, thrumming heartbeat. That sound was the most important one in her entire world. She didn’t take a single beat for granted.

  His breath was steady and deep. Her sleepy man. That was partly her fault. She’d asked him to touch her in the middle of the night, and he’d taken his time with her. There was no mating with him. No having him behind her like an animal. Kurt liked to face her and look at her while he made her finish. He liked to whisper dirty things in her ear and let her hear his groans when she made his body happy.

  Right now, she was content to study every angle of his face and every smile line around his lips. Every dark whisker, every claw mark, every eyelash. The strong line of his nose and his perfect ears. His dark hair and the way his lips were parted slightly while he slept. He looked so peaceful in the gray light that preceded dawn.

  In the other room, Gunner was sleeping like a little log, breathing so steady and heavy she could hear him clearly through the closed door of Kurt’s bedroom.

  She’d always thought her human hair too wild, but it looked quite different all fanned out over his arm, which served as her pillow right now. She was hugging his side, where she’d slept the whole night.

  He was her favorite thing about the whole world—human, shifter, animal…all of it. Kurt made her panic stop. He even made her feel pretty in this skin sometimes. Like she belonged a little more when she could find the balance between animal and woman. She’d been shunned by squirrels, treated so differently by other shifters, and ignored completely by humans, but here, with Kurt, he was always looking right at her. He really saw her.

  And after a lifetime of invisibility, it meant everything to finally, finally be seen.

  Kurt was this solid weight that kept her feet on the ground and her human skin on her bones. He made her feel okay. Like she wasn’t a freak.

  “Woman,” he murmured, “you been starin’ at me for ten minutes. I can’t be that interesting. Go on make us breakfast if you’re that bored.” His cheeky grin said he was joking, but she pinched his arm anyway and laughed.

  “I can cook you grapes and nuts.”

  “Ugh,” he groaned, rolling toward her and holding her tight against him. “What good are you then? I’m hungry for more than squirrel food.”

  With a lingering giggle, she nipped at his neck. “I can feed you in other ways.”

  “Needy little monster,” he rumbled, rolling her onto her back and coming with her. He was right between her legs, his erection already pressing against her through his sweats. His elbows on either side of her face, he ran his fingers through her hair gently, then gripped her locks with a devilish grin. “Today is special.”

  “Every day is special with you.”

  “Mmmm.” He buried his face against her throat and sucked until she was panting. Easing back, he said, “It’s first-date day, and it’s going to be perfect.”

  “And we’re starting it off right,” she said enthusiastically.

  “Hell, yeah, we are, with my dick in you.” His voice was all growly and sexy now.

  Tenlee ran her nails gently down the muscular curves of his arms and rolled her hips invitingly.

  “You want to take it again?” he asked low.

  Tenlee gave him a firm nod. The answer would always be yes. She loved being with him
like this. It was the one time she was completely and utterly comfortable in her own skin, when it was touching his.

  “You deserve to be rewarded.”

  “Why?”

  He lifted up by inches and locked his fiery gaze on hers. “Because look at you, Tenlee. You don’t even smell like fur right now. You’ve been in this form for almost a whole day.”

  “It’s the longest I’ve ever gone,” she whispered in equal parts shock and pride. “By a lot.”

  “Good girl.”

  Ooooh, when he said that, she melted. He was always good with complimenting her and supporting her, but for some reason, when he called her good girl, she wanted to please him even more to see if he would say it again. She loved when her mate was proud of her. And hell, yes, she was going to keep calling him her mate in her head. That’s what he was to her, simple as that.

  Ready for him, she shoved the waist of his sweats down his hips. She was only wearing one of his big T-shirts to sleep in, so the second the fabric barrier was gone, she could feel him right there between her legs. Reaching between them, she gripped his thick shaft and let off a needy sound when he pushed into her fist. And then she rolled her eyes closed as he slid through her grip into her entrance. He was perfect. The perfect match for her. The perfect fit.

  The next stroke, he pushed in a little farther and then a little farther. On the fourth, he slammed into her. Tenlee gasped in pleasure and arched her back, closed her eyes to the world and became utterly lost in the connection with her other half. It felt better and better each time he filled her, and she was already so sensitive to him her orgasm came out of nowhere. She rasped out his name, but he snarled a warning and laid his teeth on her neck. Right, right…Gunner was in the other room. She had to be quiet this time…

  The next release built up immediately, and then her body shattered again, right after the other. Kurt was thrusting into her faster, and the snarl in his throat was constant now. His body was strung tight and vibrated with tension. He bit down harder on her neck, harder, harder until the third orgasm blasted through her. And it felt so good, but his teeth, his teeth…pleasure and pain. Nothing else had ever felt like this. Gripping her waist in an iron grasp, Kurt reared back and smashed into her again so deep. There was throbbing and heat, wetness trickling out of her as he came. Her neck was bleeding, but not bad, just enough for the scent of iron to hit her nose. Kurt twitched inside her as he licked where he’d bitten her.

  “You’re mine now,” he murmured. “I should feel bad for claiming you like cougars do. I know you ain’t a cougar, but you’re mine just the same.”

  Ooooh. It made sense now. She understood claiming. The crows, they gave presents to claim. Little trinkets. Mountain lion shifters must give bites to claim. If it was anything like the crows, this bite was as binding as any wedding ring she could wear on her finger.

  He’d just made her his.

  It didn’t matter what happened from now until she went to sleep tonight. He’d already given her the perfect day.

  Ramsey will come for you, and this will all end.

  The awful thought snaked into her head out of nowhere. It made her stomach curdle.

  Ramsey will take you back to the crows, and you will allow it to save the Clan. To save Gunner. To save Kurt. To save all the things that mean anything to you, because if this place doesn’t exist…you don’t exist.

  She’d been so prepared to sacrifice herself to stop the war between Red Dead Mayhem and the Two Claws Clan, but that was before. Before Kurt had begun to help her find herself. Before she’d held Gunner in her arms. Before she stayed in her human skin for a whole day just to touch a man who protected her heart. Before she felt…happiness.

  It would be awful to go back to the cage of crows now.

  “What’s wrong?” Kurt asked, stroking his knuckle against her cheek. “Your eyes went all serious.”

  “I don’t want to be a crow. I want to be in your Clan.”

  Kurt’s smile was sad. “I’m gonna make it to where you never have to go back, even when I’m gone. I promise.”

  He didn’t understand, though. That’s not what she’d meant. She wasn’t talking about him dying. But when she parted her lips to try for a better explanation, there was a commotion in the living room. She and Kurt froze for a moment, and then he murmured, “Gunner.”

  She and Kurt flew into action, wrapping blankets around themselves and bolting for the door in an instant. Kurt flung it open, blocking her view, and then reached behind her and gripped her hip, stilling her. “It’s okay,” he said with a chuckle.

  She peeked around his shoulder. Trig was there, sitting in front of the couch, putting Gunner’s little boots on his feet. Gunner didn’t look sleepy at all if she ignored his mussed hair. He was bright-eyed with a big grin and waving with both hands at her. “Mr. Trig said after I brush my teeth, I get to go out with him and Colt today and feed the cows.”

  Trig looked over his shoulder and gave Tenlee a golden-eyed wink from beneath the rim of his hat. “Y’all have fun today.”

  “Oookaaay,” she drawled, utterly baffled as she pulled the sheet tighter around her body.

  Kurt’s grin was megawatt when she looked up at him. “I’m gonna go with them.” He spun and started rifling through his dresser for clothes.

  “Wait, what? I thought it was going to be the perfect day. It’s not even time to get up for chores yet.”

  “Helloooo,” Ava sang from the front door.

  “Is everyone decent?” Karis called as the girls came in carrying cups of something warm if the steam was anything to go by.

  Dear goodness, was everyone going to see Tenlee wrapped in a sheet today?

  “Hey Ten, I like the outfit, very minimalist,” Colt said as he followed the girls in.

  Aw, for fuck’s sake, the entire Clan was now shoved into the small barn apartment, and she probably smelled like sex.

  “Go on, get dressed!” Ava said, her short black curls bobbing as she made her way to the kitchen table. “We have a big day planned.”

  “A big day?” Tenlee asked.

  “Yep! It’s a girls’ day.” Karis blew on her cup of what smelled like coffee. “Or a girls’ date? I’ve never done one of these before. What are they called?”

  “I dunno,” Colt muttered. “I’m just glad I’ll be scooping chicken crap out of the coop instead of doing whatever highfalutin’ girl garbage y’all are gonna do.”

  “It won’t be garbage. It will be tons of fun.” Ava arched her eyebrow at Tenlee. “Don’t listen to that oaf. He wouldn’t know fun if it kicked him in the ballsack.”

  “Which my sister has actually done before,” Colt said.

  “Zero regrets,” Ava muttered, lifting an extra cup of steaming, stinky stuff. “I made you coffee, too.”

  Tenlee scrunched up her face. “That I have to drink?” That would make this not-the-perfect day.

  “I made one of those fancy ones with milk and chocolate and a squirt of hazelnut syrup, and I even put whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on it for you.”

  “Oh. Well, that doesn’t sound so horrid. Uuuuh, where are we going?”

  “Into town!” Karis crowed. “We have appointments, so get a move on.”

  “Oh, but I haven’t Changed in a while. And town is…scary. What if—”

  “If you Change, you Change, who cares?” Kurt said, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He kissed her on the temple. “Ain’t nobody here gonna give you grief for being a shifter. Look around, Ten. We’re all like you.”

  Tenlee blinked in shock. “All…like…me?”

  Kurt blew a raspberry against her neck and said cheerfully, “Yeah. Everyone has an animal side. Ava’s still newly Turned and Changes almost every day. Ain’t no shame in being what you are.” He swatted her on the ass, and she jumped at the surprise of the smack. And then she got a smile she was pretty sure looked like she’d been into the wine, but who cared? The Clan was all chattering away and teasing each othe
r. Trig was making sure Gunner brushed his teeth good, Ava was talking about a pancake breakfast to feed Karis’s latest pregnancy craving, Colt was tossing a dishrag at Trig’s head, and Kurt was back in the room pulling on his work boots.

  It was chaos in here. Beautiful chaos.

  The boys left quick after Kurt and Gunner were ready, and Karis and Ava bustled her out the door the second she was ready for the day, too. Chocolate-coffee-drink-thingy in hand, she squished through the mud to Colt’s old truck with the girls, quiet because she was so stunned.

  “You okay?” Ava asked as she opened the passenger-side door for Tenlee.

  “Yeah…I just…” She didn’t even have the words for what was going through her mind. She didn’t understand all her jumbled-up thoughts. She climbed up onto the bench seat and buckled up, careful not to spill her drink. “Ummm, I never did this either. Had a girl date. Or any date,” she said as Ava sat beside her. Karis got behind the wheel.

  “It’ll be a first for all of us. And maybe we will like it enough to make it a tradition. Once a month or something, go into town, just the girls, and find some adventures.”

  Okay, this sounded amazing. She didn’t know what girl dates were. All she knew was there was chocolate coffee and pancakes involved. And hanging out with other shifter girls. The only female shifter she’d spent time with was Momma Crow. Red Dead Mayhem hadn’t been breeding when she left them. Only her and Ramsey had been paired up, and not by her choice. Crow girls were very rare, so Tenlee had been alone a lot during her time with Ramsey’s Clan.

  “My skin itches a little,” she murmured when she caught Ava watching her scratch her arm under her sweater.

  “From the clothes?”

  “Yeah. I’m not really used to them yet, I think. I haven’t ever been a girl this long, and it feels like I have bugs under my skin.”

  “Sometimes I feel like that, too,” Ava said, her blue eyes dancing. “Trig says it’s from not having absolute control over my polar bear yet, but it’ll get better with time.” She frowned and rubbed two fingers on the sleeve of Tenlee’s sweater. “But I think your problem right now might actually be that sweater. It feels scratchy.”