Snow White Sorrow (The Grimm Diaries)

by Cameron Jace

  “Yeah!” someone said.

  “Human children are horrible!” another said.

  “I really should’ve caught this on camera,” Axel said. “I could win the Noble Prize posting this on the forum.”

  “Those human children are our real pain in this world,” Georgie explained. “They never go to sleep on time like their parents tell them. They love to sleep with the light on, and we can only work our scary charms in the dark. Nowadays children aren’t easily scared, having watched all those gory movies. So we have to build up the suspense all night, making creepy sounds, whispering from the closet, creaking the closet doors—”

  “Even those tactics hardly work anymore,” a Boogeyman interrupted Georgie. “They have all closet doors oiled these days.”

  Everyone agreed with him.

  “I feel ya,” Georgie drummed on his chest with one hand. “All that hard work we go through, and for what?” Georgie said, pulling out a small glass full of Baby Tears. Loki and the rest tiptoed, looking at it, thinking they could snatch it and run away. But could they outrun a Boogeyman? If they did, revenge would follow every night for the rest of their lives, unless they lived in homes without closets.

  “And why do we still do it? We do it for this!” Georgie raised his glass of Baby Tears in the air, staring at it as if it were the Holy Grail. The rest of the crowd raised other glasses of Baby Tears in the air. Georgie’s eyes were teary for a moment, and the atmosphere in The Closet was intense. There were a couple of Boogeymen sobbing somewhere.

  “Now that’s a lot of Baby Tears,” Axel said.

  “More than we could ask for,” Loki followed.

  “I wonder why Boogeymen are so big,” Lucy said. “Wouldn’t that be awful for someone who lives in children’s closets?”

  “I wonder why they need those Baby Tears so much,” Fable said.

  “But we get our tears in the end,” Georgie’s face changed, and his pirate attitude returned. He made a toast and everyone clicked their glasses again. “Always remember our motto,” Georgie said with happy eyes. “Spooky Woogy Boo!” he said and gulped the Baby Tears.

  “Spooky Woogy Boo!” the other Boogeymen cheered and gulped.

  “What a waste of tears,” Axel mumbled. “Shouldn’t they ask us to join?”

  “We’re too short for them to notice us, I think,” Fable said. “Spooky Woogy Boo!” she shouted, tiptoeing, but no one heard her.

  “That was so boo,” Georgie said, slamming the glass against the bar.

  “I guess boo means fantastic or something,” Axel speculated.

  “What a night! Let the music play again,” Georgie ended his speech.

  It was time for Loki and his friends to go talk to the Boogeyman.

  “Hi, are you Georgie Porgie?” Lucy approached him. She was the tallest of them in her high heels. “I’m Lucy,” she said eagerly.

  “But of course, you are,” Georgie flirted.

  “Lucy Rumpelstein.”

  “Oh,” Georgie said. “I didn’t know Rump had a beautiful daughter like you.”

  “Thank you,” Lucy blushed. It was the first time Loki saw her like that. ”I need some Baby Tears. My father said I could ask you to give me some.”

  “Baby Tears,” Georgie muttered suspiciously. “Why would a beautiful girl like you need those? Do you want to join Boogism?”

  “Me, no,” Lucy talked softly.

  “Good, because you’d be horrible at it,” Georgie commented. “So why do you need Baby Tears. We work hard to get them, and we don’t give them away easily.”

  “I was told they would help me enter someone’s dream,” Lucy said reluctantly, expecting Georgie to make fun of her.

  “I assume it’s a controlled dream then,” Georgie spoke seriously, and it surprised Loki that he knew about it.

  “Yes,” Lucy said. “I didn’t know you knew about…”

  “Dreamhunting?” Georgie said. “Not so much actually, but I’d love to. The last time someone asked me for Baby Tears to enter a dream was a hundred years ago.”

  None of them knew if Georgie was joking. He gulped another drink and raised his glass, saying, ‘Spooky Woogy Boo!”

  “So can I get the Baby Tears?” Lucy wondered. “I think just one of the glasses here would do.”

  “Nah,” Georgie said. “Baby Tears for dreams are different. They have to be a hundred years old at least. I have some in my room. Follow me.”

  They all followed him to a side room that he locked from inside when he got in. It was full of souvenirs and bottles that they assumed were filled with Baby Tears. Some bottles had dates on them—they went back as far as 1812. And some bottles were labeled ‘boys’ or ‘girls.’ Then there was a set labeled with the craziest words, ‘obnoxious,’ ‘sad,’ ‘cry happy,’ and ‘hardest to get.’

  There was also a closet set against one wall. It was open and empty.

  “So what’s the closet for?” Lucy was curious.

  “It’s where I sleep,” Georgie said. “Vampires sleep in coffins. Boogeymen sleep in closets.”

  Fable inspected the room with her curious eyes until she saw something that upset her greatly. There was a toddler in a crib in the room. It was a girl and she was asleep.

  “Who’s that?” Fable asked.

  “Someone’s daughter,” Georgie said. “I stole her for training purposes.”

  “Training purposes?” Loki frowned. “You mean—“

  “Yes. Yes,” Georgie said, searching for the right Baby Tears bottle for them. “A Boogeyman has to practice.”

  “That’s horrible—”Fable was about to yell before Lucy cupped her mouth with her hand.

  “But of course, you have to practice,” Lucy said.

  Loki and Axel exchanged looks, torn between taking the child back to her parents and getting the Baby Tears.

  “So you just scare the child once in a while?” Axel said. “Is that what you mean by practice?”

  “You haven’t seen my Georgie Porgie’s scary face yet, right?” Georgie said.

  “Of course we haven’t, but we’d definitely like to,” Lucy said, almost suffocating Fable.

  In a flash, Georgie gripped his fists and his face turned into a monster, breathing out that awful smell of his. At first, they were all taken aback while his face was transforming, but then Fable started laughing. Georgie’s monstrous face was more funny than scary. It was truly disfigured with one eye bulging out from under his eye patch and dangling like a yoyo, his nose crumbled into something like an empty ice cream cone, and his cheeks bubbled like they were balloons. But he wasn’t scary at all. The only awful thing about him was the bad smell.

  “Fable!” Axel yelled at her, afraid they’d upset Georgie. Even if he looked funny to them, maybe he did really scare babies—and he certainly still scared Axel.

  Georgie wasn’t upset with Fable’s reaction. He was sad and frustrated. “You don’t think I’m scary?”

  Fable shook her head no, her hands folded in front of her.

  “Then watch this,” Georgie said. “I’ll show you scary.”

  Georgie walked over to the child’s cradle and screamed into its face, transforming into that ugly monster again. The child woke up from its sleep and stared with horrified doe eyes at him for a moment. It took a while but then it broke off into a lovely laugh, wiggling its feet.

  “No!” Georgie shook his head, returning to normal form. “I can’t believe this.”

  “You’re such a loser,” Lucy said, disappointed that the evil man she’d liked was not as scary as he pretended. “Do the other Boogeymen know about you?”

  “Please, don’t tell anyone,” Georgie turned into a weak, childish man, begging Lucy on his knees. “They shouldn’t know about the real me. They think I’m the most evil thing on earth, and I have to keep it that way. I don’t know why I’m like this. I inherited the Leader of Boogeymen title from my father, but I have always failed to scare children,” he looked back at the child in the cradle. “
Those damn obnoxious children.”

  The child wiggled its feet again and smiled when Georgie stared at her.

  “You shouldn’t be sad,” Fable patted him, happy that she could talk straight to his face since he’d knelt down. “You should be really happy. The child loves you dearly. I mean look,” Fable tried to get the child’s attention but it had its happy eyes focused on Georgie. “She’s fond of you. You don’t scare her at all.”

  “But that’s a curse to me,” Georgie complained, standing up. “I tried all I could. I read all the books on evil. I practiced so hard and all those children do when they see me is laugh.”

  Loki and Axel omitted a chuckle. In fact, Loki thought that there had been nothing worth laughing at in the past two days as much as laughing at the Boogeyman. This definitely wasn’t the Boogeyman who stole Axel’s cereal when he was a kid.

  “You’re a good man,” Fable insisted and held his hand.

  “Pathetic,” Lucy folded her arms. The man of her dreams turned out to be laughable and goodhearted.

  “Think of me what you like, but please don’t expose me,” Georgie said. “I have a reputation to keep.”

  “Don’t worry,” Loki said. “We won’t. You’ll always be Georgie Porgie who scares every child away. We just want the Baby Tears and we’re gone.”

  “Thank you,” Georgie said, and handed Loki the bottle of one hundred year old Baby Tears.

  “You really fooled me, man,” Axel said. “You were so close to becoming my evil idol.”

  Suddenly, the door sprung open and Cry Baby entered. Georgie had already stood up and dried his tears of disappointment.

  “What’s wrong?” Georgie faked being angry. “Didn’t I tell you to knock three times and say ‘Spooky Woogy Boo’ before entering?”

  “It’s an emergency,” Cry Baby lowered his eyes, respecting Georgie.

  “What kind of emergency?” Georgie asked.

  Cry Baby raised his head to answer, but then he saw the grinning baby, wiggling its feet. “Is this a happy baby?” he pointed at it, appalled as if he’d seen the devil.

  “Yes, it is,” Fabled sneered at him.

  “I thought you were practicing on it, so you could make it cry like no other baby did before,” Cry Baby said to Georgie.

  “No it’s not laughing,” Axel interrupted, doing his best not to expose Georgie. How could the leader of Boogeymen have a laughing child in his room? Axel grinned at the baby and it started crying instantly. Loki rolled his eyes, noting that not only animals hated Axel, but little babies as well. “See?” Axel said to Cry Baby. “It’s your imagination.”

  Cry Baby scratched his head. “Must be all the Baby Tears I drank making me see things.”

  “So what’s the emergency?” Georgie demanded.

  “The Bullyvards are outside,” Cry Baby said.

  “What?” Georgie said. “How dare they enter The Closet?”

  “They say they’re looking for a Loki Blackscar,” Cry Baby said.

  “Blackstar,” Loki corrected him.

  “Why are they looking for you?” Georgie said.

  “They love me,” Loki said.

  “They say they don’t want any trouble with us,” Cry Baby explained. “They want the kid and his friends because they have some old business to deal with, and then they will leave.”

  “So the werewolves think they can enter Georgie Porgie’s place and take whoever they want and leave?” Georgie said. “Not in a million years.”

  “You understand that there’s going to be a massacre outside if Boogeymen and Bullyvards clash with each other?” Cry Baby said.

  “I don’t care,” Georgie snarled. “I’m Georgie Porgie, and I hate those hairy, ugly werewolves.”

  Georgie pushed the door open, walked outside, and the rest followed.

  The Closet was on fire. The two tribes were standing opposite to each other while Loki and the others found themselves in the middle.

  “Spooky Woogy Boo!” The Boogeymen clutched their fists, showing their ugly faces to the werewolves—all except Georgie.

  “Awooo!” The Bullyvards howled on the other side of the bar, led by Ulfric Moonlcaw, Big Bad, and Paw Paw.

  “This isn’t really happening, right?” Axel said, shielding his nose from the awful smell.

  “We aren’t here to make war, Georgie,” Ulfric said. “We’re here to get this Blackstar kid. Hand him and his friends over to me. They don’t mean anything to you.”

  “Ulfric, baby,” Lucy jumped into her werewolf boyfriend’s arms. “Kick his boogie butt. This Georgie tried to kiss me.”

  “Now this isn’t really happening,” Axel mumbled, trying to hide his face in his hands.

  “No one comes into The Closet and insults me,” Georgie said. “If you don’t leave now, we’re going to eat every one of you right now.”

  One of the Boogeymen pointed at Fable holding the child from Georgie’s room in her arms.

  “So you don’t let us werewolves come take those we want, but you let that lousy witch’s daughter take your children?” Big Bad mocked all the Boogeymen.

  “It’s not his child,” Fable yelled. “It has parents and it belongs to them.”

  Loki watched Georgie’s face go red. Fable’s action made him look embarrassed in front of his peeps.

  “Are you going to let her take the child?” the other Boogeymen asked Georgie.

  The Bullyvards started laughing at Georgie.

  “Do something, Loki,” Axel said. “Those two clans are going to eat us alive.”

  “Fable?” Loki looked back at her.

  “Loki,” she furrowed her brows back. “You’re the hero. You could help me get this child to its parents.”

  “Shouldn’t we get home first?” Axel said as the two clans started closing in on them. Georgie wasn’t going to do anything, or he’d be exposed.

  “Loki?” Axel repeated. “You’re the fallen angel. You should have some power to do something.”

  “I’m not a fallen angel,” Loki gritted his teeth. For a moment, he couldn’t understand why he was in the middle of all this. How in the world did he end up here, stuck between the Bullyvards and the Boogeymen? How did his mission become so complicated?

  “Ora Pedora,” Loki muttered to himself, gripping on his Alicorn again, hoping this useless thing would be of some help.

  Maybe it’s a magic wand that should help me disappear.

  But Loki knew better. Escaping never works. One has to face his troubles head on. Even if he possessed a magic wand, it would be cowardly if he used it to disappear.

  “Ulfric,” Loki said firmly. “This is between me and you. Don’t get Fable and Axel into it.”

  “Oh,” Ulfric mocked him. “We have a hero here. Awooo!”

  The Bullyvards started laughing while the Boogeymen approached as well. There was no way out.

  “It’s too late to play hero,” Big Bad said. “If the Bullyvards don’t get you, the Boogeymen will.”

  Loki turned around and the Boogeymen were laughing at him too, rubbing their hands, ready to eat them alive, at least to punish them for Fable’s endeavor to take the baby back to its parents.

  “I’m about to suffocate,” Axel panicked. “I feel trapped in a room with its walls closing in.”

  Loki pulled Fable closer to him. “Man up, Axel,” Loki said. “We’re going to have to face them.”

  “How so? You still got some Magic Dust?”

  “Not here,” Loki said. “We’ll have to use our fists.”

  “So you’re not a superhero after all?” Axel said.

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Loki shook his head. “I’m just a guy trying to find his way back home.”

  “Man up, Axel,” Fable said, both clans one stride away from them. “You can do it, and then I will escape and save the baby.”

  As the three of them got ready to face the two horrible clans, a parrot fluttered above their heads with its beautiful green feathers and yellow body.
<
br />   “I’m Pickwick,” it said to Big Bad, hovering before him. “And I’m…going to kick your ass!”

  Loki had a big smile on his face. It was only moments until Charmwill entered the bar, smoking his pipe. He stood in his cloak and hood as cool as ever.

  “And who are you, old man?” Ulfric sneered.

  “It’s not who I am,” Charmwill said calmly, as he took a drag from his dragonbreath pipe. “It’s what I can do.”

  Charmwill took one last long drag from his pipe and breathed out fire into the Bullyvards faces, causing them to step back and providing a way for Loki and his friends to escape The Closet.

  “What the holy flickering hell is that pipe?” Axel had to stop and ask Charmwill. Loki pulled him out and the three of them jumped into Carmen and drove away, Pickwick the Parrot flying over its hood. They were heading back to Candy House and Loki was looking forward to meeting Charmwill there.

  19

  Follow Your Bliss

  Back at Candy House, Fable invited Charmwill in and offered to cook fresh Pookies for him. Charmwill thanked her dearly, but said he wanted to talk to Loki outside on the porch. Although Fable was disappointed, she didn’t argue. She would have loved to know more about Loki’s guardian. She wanted to ask him questions about Loki’s story and the Council of Heaven, Snow White, and about Charmwill’s powers and why he wouldn’t stay near Loki all the time. But Fable, in her politeness, couldn’t ask that of Charmwill. She still had fun feeding Pickwick, though.

  Axel didn’t get his answer about Charmwill’s Dragonbreath, or how he could possess such a cool power. Instead, Loki let him try to make his Alicorn work. But no matter how many times Axel said ‘Ora Pedora’ nothing happened so he decided to make himself a Cinderella Mozarella sandwich and eat a Reluctant Jelly for dessert.

  Outside, Loki stood waiting for Charmwill to speak.

  “I’m glad you showed up,” Loki said. “I thought you’d never visit me in Sorrow.”

  “I don’t know how long you expect me to save you, Loki,” Charmwill said, his hands behind his back.

  “I know,” Loki lowered his eyes, although Charmwill wasn’t staring at him. Instead, he was staring at the stars. “I should be able to save myself, but I had a lot of confusing choices to make and it was overwhelming.”