by Nancy Barone
‘Just like you, Jess. You’ve done wonders for my children. I can barely recognise Chloe. Well – some days.’
She giggled and rested her head on my shoulder as we went into the kitchen. She was indeed a joy to be with. I only wish she hadn’t suffered so much in her life. If I had a magic wand, there were plenty of people I’d help. I’d give Jessica her sight, Carol her hearing, Ben the use of his legs, Alf his memories back and Jack a shot at happiness. I’d make Old Nellie young again so she could relive her love story with her first love. I’d give everyone all those things they hankered for and that money couldn’t buy.
*
As I was getting dinner ready, Chloe hollered down the corridor, running into the kitchen. ‘Mum! Mum! Callie’s sick!’
‘Oh dear, you didn’t feed her any of your junk food, did you?’
‘No, Mum, she’s really sick! Her eyes are rolling around and she’s foaming at the mouth!’
I dropped my oven mitts and ran through to the conservatory where Ben and Jessica were kneeling over her as she convulsed and yelped at the same time. I ran back and grabbed the throw from the sofa and wrapped her up in it, but she showed no signs of quieting down or even recognising us.
Even Minnie, who had been slurping at her water, stopped and stared at her, turning her head in confusion, sniffing her, and then hunkering down next to her, as if to offer her support.
‘Ben, grab the keys, we’re driving her to the vet’s. Chloe, Jessica,’ I said as I reached for my bag, ‘I’m calling Jack from the car so he can come and stay with you.’
‘Why can’t we all come?’ Chloe called out the front door as I settled Callie in Ben’s lap and rounded back to my door.
‘Because Emma is due later to drop Chanel off, remember?’
‘Mum, it’s okay, we don’t need Jack to babysit us anymore! We’ll be fine!’
I got behind the wheel and called back through the window. ‘No, I’m sending you Jack.’ He wouldn’t allow the girls to be left on their own, even if he was angry with me. Always assuming he was in the vicinity.
‘Call us!’ Jessica said as I took off, flooring it. This poor little pup had already had a crap life. When we found her she had been beaten, neglected and God knows what else she had been through in her young life. I wasn’t about to let her go down without a fight.
I looked down as Ben caressed her head, his tears plopping down onto her. We had all fallen in love with her the very day she had loped into the front garden one evening a few months back, starved, dehydrated and emotionally derelict and had immediately found a place in our home. After an initial sniff here and there, our dog Minnie had decided that she was harmless, and not big enough to take up too much space in our hearts.
‘Keep talking to her in a calm voice, love,’ I said in soothing tones. ‘She needs to know she’ll be okay.’
‘You hear that, Callie Coo? We’re taking you to a nice doctor who’s going to make you feel as good as new…’
But the poor pup just continued to roll her eyes.
‘Mum?’ Ben whispered.
‘Yes, darling?’
‘I’m scared.’
‘Oh, sweetheart, don’t be. It’s probably just a bug. I’ve had loads of dogs go through this when I was a kid. She just needs a good vet.’ And a miracle, I thought to myself, as I had omitted to add that I had lost that load of pups this same way.
Poor Callie. From the moment that she had entered our front garden, that little drenched tail between her skinny legs, and collapsed at my feet with those huge, sad eyes begging for help, I knew none of us would ever be the same again. Ben and Chloe had helped me nurse her back to life, and in the space of a few months Callie, who had been a nameless stray, had become a trusting, loving and happy member of our family with her very own clean water bowl, food bowl, basket and loads of chewy toys, and who sometimes royally pissed off Minnie, our baby number one.
I reached for my mobile and hesitated. I really had no one else who could come running.
Alf was busy at the Post Of ice and the Ice Cream Club ladies would take too long to get there. Annie had a tea room to run and Emma was in bloody Truro.
I only had one choice. Despite all that had passed between us, I knew he wouldn’t say no. So I called him, my heart in my mouth, hoping he wouldn’t avoid me.
‘Jack?’ I said, relieved he was still answering my calls at least.
‘Nina – what is it?’ he answered, slightly alarmed, because he, too, knew it would take something serious for me to contact him after the last time.
‘I’m so sorry to bother you, Jack, but I can’t ask anyone else. Callie is convulsing and I have had to rush her to the vet’s and I have Chloe and Jessica home on their own.’
Pause. Please don’t hang up on me, I silently begged, but knowing that he wouldn’t.
‘Where’s Ben?’ he asked.
‘He’s with me.’
‘I’ll be there in five minutes,’ he said and I sagged against the steering wheel in relief.
‘Oh, thank you, thank you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
‘All right, then.’ No good luck or anything. But I supposed I was asking for too much now. He was coming, and that was good enough for me.
‘Four minutes,’ he informed me. ‘I’m already in the car. Go. It’ll be okay.’
‘Oh, bless you, Jack,’ I said and rang off, flooring it even more now.
When we got to the vet’s, they gave her a sedative and we sat and waited for about an hour.
‘Best to leave her overnight,’ the vet suggested. ‘I’ll call you in the morning.’
‘Is she going to be okay?’ Ben whispered, stifling his tears and patting Callie’s head as my own lower lip trembled.
‘She’s been poisoned, but we’ve pumped it out of her system, so now we’re rehydrating her. Best to go home and get yourselves some rest.’
‘I don’t want her to die,’ Ben hiccupped, grabbing my hand. ‘Mummy, please don’t let her die…’
I got down to my knees and squeezed my son’s hands in mine. ‘Darling, Dr Richards will do everything she can,’ I promised. ‘She’ll be fine, you’ll see.’
Lisa Richards shot me a sidelong glance and I widened my eyes. ‘She’s getting the best possible treatment, Ben. I promise you that.’
Together, Ben and I leaned over Callie, tiny and fragile in a sterile basket, and covered her with kisses and caresses while the drugs kept her under. I hadn’t been this scared since Minnie had had her hysterectomy.
After long moments, we got to our feet and left Callie in Lisa’s care, not without a silent prayer for my baby number four.
‘Tell you what,’ I said to Ben in the car on the way back. ‘When we get home we’ll make popcorn and watch a movie all snuggled up together on the sofa. What do you say?’
‘Yuh…’ he said, wiping his eyes.
‘Yeah?’ I asked. ‘What would you like to watch?’
‘Marley and Me,’ he said without hesitating.
As we approached the house, I expected to see Jack’s 4x4 parked out front, but by God, there were also a fire truck and an ambulance.
‘Oh, my God! Ben, stay here!’ I ordered as I flew through the front garden, frantically looking for the kids and found them next to a paramedic who was giving Jack the thumbs up. They all looked unharmed.
‘I’m here, I’m here!’ I cried as I reached out to hug them. ‘Are you all right? What happened?’ I asked, checking them as if for broken bones.
‘This bloke arrived to save the day,’ the paramedic informed me, beaming at Jack.
‘It was the electrics,’ a firefighter explained, removing his gloves. ‘It’s dodgy to say the least.’
‘Nothing to do with the fridge?’ I asked.
‘No, not in the least,’ he answered me.
Jack and the two men shook hands, complimenting one another for the nice work as Ben came over, his eyes wide.
‘Thank you, I’m so sorry, thank you all,’ I c
roaked as tears welled up in my eyes. I left them for four minutes and this happened? What the hell was wrong with me? I risked the lives of two young girls by abandoning them.
‘Everything’s okay, mate,’ Jack said, folding Ben into his arms when he reached out to him for a hug. ‘Just a tiny spark.’ And then he turned to me. ‘How’s Callie?’
‘Not out of the woods yet,’ I whispered as Ben limped on ahead to join Jessica and Chloe on the sofas.
I threw a blanket over the three kids, making sure they weren’t in shock, but they were very brave and downplayed it.
‘Mum – it’s fine, really,’ Chloe assured me. ‘It was only a tiny fire and Jack arrived three minutes after you left.’
‘Nina, please don’t be upset,’ Jessica said. ‘We were never in any danger.’
‘Never in any danger? The kitchen was on fire!’
‘But only for a minute, really, Mum. It’s not as bad as it looks,’ Chloe insisted.
The kids could have been hurt, seriously hurt, and it was all my fault. I should have hired someone more reputable to check the wiring, instead of Bert and Harry from the phone book. When was I going to do something right? Whatever I did, whatever decision I made, it always seemed to be the worst.
And just because I couldn’t feel any worse, Lauren’s BMW rounded the corner in a screech and braked just across the road. Within seconds, the howling started.
‘Jessica! Oh, Jessica!’ she called, bursting in, beating her way past us all to Jess who went from chilled and relaxed to alarmed in a nanosecond.
‘Oh, my God, are you okay? I was in the village and someone said, “Fire at Cornflower Cottage,” and I drove over immediately!’
Luckily for us, it hadn’t been a real fire, as Jack had repeated to me. We had already given in that department three years ago.
‘I’m okay,’ Jess answered, taking Chloe’s hand.
Lauren looked up at me.
I wrung my hands in helpless frustration, willing her to go away, and for Luke to return so I could explain what had happened without Lauren possibly poisoning his judgement.
‘How could you not take care of my daughter?’ she cried. ‘How could you be any more qualified than me? Do you see why I can’t imagine not being with her? Life is so precious, and it could slip through our hands any minute. And I don’t want to waste another day. Do you understand?’
I huffed. Of course I understood.
‘Miss, calm down,’ came Jack’s voice. ‘Jessica is perfectly fine as you can see.’
‘Who the hell are you to talk to my mother like that, Lauren?’ Chloe cried. ‘You’re the one who dumped Jess, not her! If anything, she’s been like a mother to her. And you! You, her own mother, can’t even be bothered to send a bloody birthday card once a year!’
I stepped forward and took my daughter into my arms. ‘Sweetheart, hush now. It’s okay.’
‘No, Mum, it’s not okay! This woman is just trying to make you feel bad with her good manners and sob story! She’s been doing it for weeks to Jess, too! Oh, my poor baby, I had to leave you, even if I didn’t want to! It’s all a crock of shit, Lauren! A real mother, a mother who loves you stays, no matter what the cost!’ And then she burst into tears. ‘And that goes for fathers as well!’
‘Chloe, don’t get upset because of me,’ Jess pleaded, catching her hand again.
‘What do any of you know about it?’ Lauren bawled at Chloe who stood back in surprise, not expecting Lauren to break down in front of them.
‘Please stop,’ Jess whispered.
‘Miss, I think you should leave now,’ Jack said, moving towards her, and I knew that if she continued, he would personally escort her off the property.
It felt so strange for him to be here, once again taking action, or at least shouldering the load with me like he used to. I had missed that. And tonight was not his fault at all. If anything, he had deflected what could have been a tragedy. I shuddered at the thought, and he put his arm around me, which strangely, made it better.
‘Leave?’ Lauren honked. ‘I’m not going anywhere without my daughter!’
‘Now there’s a first,’ came a voice from behind us. Luke.
I spun around, which caused Jack’s arm to fall off my shoulder.
‘Oh, Luke…’ I whispered, but he strode straight over to Jess and took her in his arms. ‘Are you okay, sweetie?’
And then he noticed the blackened corner in the kitchen. ‘What happened here?’ he demanded, and as I opened my mouth to answer, Lauren threw herself into a tirade against us all. When she was done, Luke looked up at me in shock. He said nothing, but the expression on his face was clear: You left my daughter with your neighbour?
It was my fault, and my fault only. And I shouldn’t have trusted an electrician who had only glanced at the wiring.
After a few moments, as I stood by the kitchen sink, still wringing my hands like a useless git in contrition, Lauren took Luke aside and informed him that she was back, and had no intention of going away again.
She followed him through the front door and they paused on the threshold, as – I could tell by the slant of his body – he was becoming angrier and angrier. I had blown it big time. I had put his child’s life in jeopardy. Had there ever existed a woman as stupid as myself? Lauren was right. I had no right to be in charge of Jess.
‘Jack,’ I croaked. ‘You’d better go.’ I didn’t want him to hear any more of this.
He turned to me. ‘You must be joking. I’m not leaving you with those two.’
‘It’s okay, really. She’s just upset. I’d be the same. So go.’
He wasn’t convinced. ‘Are you sure?’
I nodded. ‘I can handle it. I’ll just explain everything to him.’
Jack took my elbows and looked straight into my eyes. ‘I’m a phone call away, Nina. If you need me, I’ll come running. Okay?’
‘’Kay,’ I sniffed. ‘Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there…’
‘I’ll always be there, Nina. Always.’
I hugged him. He felt solid and warm and strong. He felt like… home within a home.
‘Okay, then. I’ll call you tomorrow morning.’
I swiped at my eyes and attempted a smile. ‘Tomorrow morning…’
With one last look and a lingering caress of my arm, he stalked out the front door, but not without stopping to say something to Luke, who shook his head.
When Lauren finally left, not without one last venomous look my way, Luke came back in, his face ashen.
‘What? What is it?’ I asked, pulling out a chair for him.
He plonked himself down, his eyes unfocused. ‘She’s moving back to LA and wants back into our lives and if I put up a fight, she’s going to contact her lawyer.’
33
The Crying Game
After a sleepless night, the dawn seemed even grimmer as I crept downstairs to make some coffee. And to take Luke’s temperature. He had been odd with me last night, and I had waited for him, if not to come to my room as Ben was sleeping with me, but to at least send me a text where he said that he wasn’t angry with me, and that it was just all one big mess-up. But I guessed it was a little too much to ask of him.
While the kettle boiled, I called Dr Richards to ask about Callie, hoping that it hadn’t all been for naught, and that at least one good thing would come of that horrible night.
‘She’s in and out of it because of the drugs, but her vital signs are stabilising. Hopefully you can come pick her up tomorrow, by which time we expect her to be out of the woods.’
‘Oh, Lisa, thank you, thank you!’ I nearly sobbed all over again. ‘Can we come by today?’
‘Best to let her sleep, plus she’s riddled with tubes – it would only upset the kids to see her like that.’
‘Okay, I understand. See you tomorrow then. And thank you so much, Lisa.’
A moment later Luke surfaced, his expression stony, and I smiled weakly as I passed him a stea
ming cup of please-forgive-me coffee, which he took with a soft grunt. Now Luke had to fight Lauren to keep the child he had raised since she was a baby, and it was all my fault.
‘I just checked in on them. They’re fast asleep,’ I whispered, not because I was afraid of waking anyone, but because I could barely speak over my sense of mortification that had accompanied me all night, weighing down on my heart like a demolition ball.
‘She’s young and resilient, Luke. She’ll get over it.’
Luke put his mug down on the counter and turned to me, his face set. ‘I’ve made a decision. I’m taking Jessica back home for a bit. I’ll need my wits about me, and I’ll need to be on home turf to fight Lauren. I’ll call you when this has all blown over, okay?’
He was leaving, just like that? Not asking my opinion about any of it, just… leaving. He blamed me. Only he was too polite to come out and say it.
I nodded. ‘Of course.’ What else could I say?
‘Okay.’
I swallowed. ‘Luke, for what it’s worth, I am truly, truly sorry.’
He patted my hand. Quickly, cursorily. ‘I know. But it’s not your fault, really. I’m going to book my flights now,’ he said and padded across the open space and up the stairs again. The bit of dialogue that changed my life had lasted less than a minute.
*
Luke and Jessica’s flight was the next evening. We were all a wreck, of course, but not as much as Jessica and Chloe.
‘I don’t want to go, Dad,’ Jessica pleaded as Luke brought their luggage to the front door and turned to us to say goodbye.
He sighed. ‘I know, sweetheart. But it can’t be helped for now.’
‘Please tell her that it’s nobody’s fault,’ Jess said.
‘Will you ever come back?’ Ben wanted to know.
‘Of course,’ he said.
‘When?’ Ben insisted.
‘When Jessica’s mother and I become friends again, Ben.’
Jess snorted. ‘That’s not happening any time soon, Dad. We both know that.’
‘Yeah, well…’ he muttered more to himself. And then he turned to me.
‘Good bye, Nina. Thank you for everything.’
