Backing away from him, I nodded. Leaving Bao and Catya in the unnatural garden, I made my way to my room.
The cat was awake, her paws tucked under her as she stared at me, eyes half mast. I lifted an eyebrow at her. “You got something to say, cat?”
She yawned and stretched her back, then shook her head. Almost like she was really answering me. Without so much as a meow, she left me in my room alone. Which didn’t last long.
A rap of knuckles on the door and then Erik strode in. “I know you’re pissed at me, but you can’t ignore your responsibilities.” He pulled a large violet-skinned book from under his leather trench coat and handed it to me. My fingertips tingled as I took the tome.
“I’ll read it, I promise, Uncle,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You’d best. Because that is the only guide you have to defeating a demon who has killed everyone and everything in his path to get where he is”—he reached out and tapped the book with an index finger—“this is the only hope the world has that you will figure out what you need to do.”
I grimaced. “Thanks for the reminder.” I slid the book off my lap and slowly stood. “Before I get to my homework, though, I have something I need to do.”
“You do mean to speed up the pregnancy, then?”
I let out a slow breath. “Yeah, that.”
Did I even have another choice? There was barely enough time as it was, even with Liam’s sacrifice. So that was that. I would do this thing, and pray to all the gods I didn’t kill myself or the child in doing so.
Chapter 4
“There’s no other choice.” I brushed past him and headed down the long hallway to the front gates.
Erik dropped a heavy hand on my shoulder. “You might want to bundle up, then.”
“Can’t be that cold, I was just in a courtyard with Bao that was loaded with flowers and shit.”
“Rylee, this place is blessed and cursed in a way I never thought I’d see. It is damn cold outside these walls and you need to be warm, if not for you, then for your child.”
He was right. I let him help me find warm clothes and then we went to find Blaz.
“Hey, lizard, where are you?”
I was sleeping, thank you very much. I felt him yawn and stretch, and I headed toward him. I guess being able to talk mind to mind with Blaz was not an ability so much as something innate in me. Yes, that felt right. We found him on top corner of the monastery, curled around a turret, Ophelia wrapped up with him.
“I need a trip down the mountain. You up for a fly about?”
Not far?
“No, not far.”
With a grumble and a small blast of flame, he untangled himself and dropped to the ground in front of me. Erik and I climbed onto Blaz’s back, cinching ourselves into the leather rigging he wore.
Without asking if we were ready, the dragon launched into the air, wings sending a powerful downdraft into the monastery. A few bits of cloth were caught up in the swirl of air currents, tossed about without mercy. I knew how they felt. I wasn’t able to escape the feeling that no matter what I did, or who I helped, or who I saved, my life wasn’t my own. That the prophecies I was caught up in were too powerful even for me to face down. They’d been too much for Liam to survive, what made me think I would be any different?
Blaz flew us down the mountainside, and within minutes we landed at the base in the only available place for Blaz to land. Barely large enough for the dragon, the tree branches brushed his sides as he landed with a quiet thump, muffled by the trees around us.
“We’ll walk from here,” I said, sliding off his back and landing lightly. The warm clothes Erik had insisted on were welcome, our breath blowing billows of steam in the cold air. Around us the world was muffled, the heavy laden trees drooping under the weight of the snow.
“Do you know where you’re going?” Erik put a hand on my arm and I didn’t have the strength to push him away.
“Three women living in a cabin at the base of a mountain. I don’t think they’re going to be that hard to find. Besides, if it’s fate, it doesn’t matter what I do. I will find them or I won’t, and either way I have no fucking say in things.” I pulled away from him and then gasped. Right in front of us was a huge snow leopard. Hell, we’d almost walked right into him with the way his fur blended into the background. The crunch of snow under huge padded paws was the only sound beside the blowing wind as he crept toward us. I kept still, a part of me wondering if I’d suddenly become suicidal. I hadn’t brought any of my weapons with me, and the only thing that saved me was Erik. He grabbed my arm and jerked me away from the leopard. I fell backwards, my world nothing but a bright white canvas for a split second, and then I was gasping and pushing my way out of the white drift.
The leopard was sitting on its haunches, watching, head tipped slightly to one side, green eyes wide. Kinda like it wasn’t really a snow leopard. I narrowed my eyes, and the second-sight image of the leopard flickered and I thought I saw a familiar gray and white housecat for a brief moment.
“Are you more than you look?” I spit out along with a hunk of snow that had turned to slush inside my mouth.
The wide head bobbed once, and beside me, I felt Erik relax.
Her name is Peta. Blaz said. You can trust her.
“Thanks.” I muttered. The dragon snorted, and I pushed to my feet. “You want to lead us to the three ladies of the mountain?”
Another head bob and the leopard wove her way through the trees, following a path not visible until your feet were on it.
“You sure you want to follow a cat?”
I snorted. “I’ve been following all manner of creatures for the last six months, some far more sketchy than an oversized house cat.”
Erik grunted and we walked in that awkward silence again.
“He swore us to secrecy.”
Ah, fuck, I did not want to talk about Liam. “Not right now.”
“Why not? We’re here alone, and you need to let it out. I know you’re pissed with us, furious even that we would help Liam die. I also know a part of you understands. Because if you didn’t—”
“I’d have fucking killed you already,” I finished for him, knowing it was the truth. Maybe it was hormones, maybe it was the cold numbing my usual reticence to spilling the beans, but whatever it was I spit out what I’d been thinking all along. “No one trusted me enough to see it was the only way to stop things. As much as losing Liam hurts, it hurts more that he didn’t think I could handle things. That he thought I wouldn’t do what needed to be done. That he kept secrets from me, and now just fucked off and died and left me to clean up the mess. He didn’t think well enough of me to—” I paused and sucked in a lungful of sharp, clean air. “It doesn’t matter now. Yes, I’m pissed at you and Coyote and Doran. Yes, I want to know who killed Liam, but I’m more pissed at him for fucking well not talking to me!” I didn’t realize I was shouting until the leopard in front of us turned to stare at me. Pity flooded the creature’s eyes and that undid me. I dropped to my knees, a sob tearing out of my throat as I slammed a hand over my traitorous mouth.
A soft, furred head butted against me and instinctively, I wrapped my arms around the leopard’s neck. I clung to the cat, my body and heart battered, my belief in the world gone. I didn’t think things would turn out, I didn’t think they would be okay.
I didn’t know how I was supposed to go on, and leave my daughter behind when the time came. I’d only known about her for a few days and yet I knew what it was to be abandoned. How could I do that to her?
“Niece,” Erik spoke softly. “First things first, we need to get your little girl here. Let’s focus on bringing her into the world safely before we do anything else.”
Fuck, he was right, but my emotions were all over the map. I ran a hand over the leopard’s head, ears, and neck. “Thanks.”
Whuffling in my ear, the cat stepped back and tipped her head once more. I stood and followed in silence. While the outburst
had been coming, and I had no doubt there would be more, the truth of what I’d said helped. I would have initially fought to keep Liam alive, of course I would have. But if they could have explained to me why he had to die, then I could have at least been prepared for it. The shock of his death would have been eased and we could have had time to say goodbye properly.
And then there was the baby. I placed a hand over my mid-section. A child of Liam’s. Of mine. As much as I would have fought for Liam to stay with me, if I’d known then that the child’s life had been on the line, then I could have done what needed to be done.
Did my friends and family think so little of me?
Or maybe, had I only ever shown them that I couldn’t be trusted with the hard decisions, that I didn’t have the strength to do what needed to be done to save those I loved? The questions and fears, grief and anger swirled through me as cold as the snow swept mountain air swirled around my head.
The leopard paused, her tail twitching at the tip as she surveyed the small, open, snow-covered meadow in front of us. I saw nothing to be concerned about and almost said so when Erik grabbed my arm and put a finger to his lips. I clenched my teeth and stared into the meadow. The leopard stepped forward, inching her way closer to the invisible line between meadow and path. Dropping to her belly, she did a classic cat stalk, body wriggling inch by inch, while we stood back and watched. I wasn’t in a hurry, there was no big deadline or rush so I stood with more patience than I’d had in a long time.
The call of an owl, the steady hoot given three times, seemed to be a signal. The leopard burst from the snow, covering the ground in huge leaping strides that had her in the middle of the meadow in seconds. And then, she disappeared. As if she’d stepped across the veil. But that wasn’t possible. That couldn’t be! Liam had sealed the veil with his blood, making it impossible to travel that way.
Erik stepped forward, putting himself where the leopard had stayed crouched. “Let me go first. Count to ten, then follow.” Without another word, he bolted across the meadow, disappearing too in the exact spot the snow leopard had.
“Well, fuck,” I muttered. I refused to run. Why? Stubborn, maybe. Tired, absolutely. I walked out into the meadow, the rustle of my feet in the snow the only sound at first. And then came the sound of heavy breathing, and pounding feet that weren’t my own and I didn’t think, didn’t look back. Just bolted across the meadow. Without weapons, I was not in a position to defend myself. I fell through something that gave a pop, like cellophane stretched across a doorway, and as I fell, I rolled so I could see what had been chasing me.
Morbid curiosity kept my eyes glued to what I was seeing. If snow and ice could take a physical form, that was what I was looking at. The creature moved like a large ape, hunched shoulders and over-long arms, but there was no doubt that it was anything but a primate. With the head that looked as though it were shoved down deep inside the neck crevice, the bright pink eyes were barely visible.
“Ack, ignore that beastie. He’s all bark, and only a little bite.”
I rolled to my hands and knees, and pushed to my feet to see a woman in front of me. Just one. Except she wasn’t really just one. She was a conjoined triplet by the looks of it; a single body in the middle, and a partial body hanging off each side. Three heads, six arms, two overly thick legs. Dressed in furs on top and snug pants below, almost as if she wanted you to see that she was truly conjoined. I didn’t know what to say. I went with simple.
“Hello.”
Her three heads grinned up at me, broken teeth on each of the faces showing through. Grizzled white hair on one, dark brown on the other, and brilliant red on the third caught my eye. I looked closer. They weren’t even the same age. The looked to be all over the map, young, old, middle aged.
Erik cleared his throat. “Sometimes, fate can be a bitch.”
The women turned toward him, the voices speaking in a sing-song tandem. “Calling us a bitch will get you nowhere, young man.”
I wanted to groan and put my hands over my head. Fates. And I thought I’d seen it all. “Tell me you are just a witch with a funky sense of style. I can’t deal with fate right now, never mind THE fates.”
The women laughed, the sound of their mirth filling the room. “We gave up that title years ago after we dealt with the gods of our time, snipping their threads one by one,” the oldest of the three said, waving one of the middle arms at me in a dismissive gesture. “But we still find ourselves defending the position from time to time. No, now we are but a simple fortune teller.”
My shoulders slumped and fatigue washed over me. “Fortune tellers. Shit, so you have no magic of your own? You can’t help me then.”
All six hands shot straight into the air, and once more they spoke in unison. “Help you, we can, child. You seek a way to have a healthy child ahead of term?”
I shot a glare at Erik and he shook his head. “I said nothing.”
“Yes.” I fought with my natural inclination to be snotty. “That’s what I’m trying to find. But I was told you could help me with a spell.”
The three heads wove back and forth several times, like a snake trying to charm a mouse. “There is a spell that will speed up the birth, but it is complicated, and the only way you would be able to make it happen is if you called on the magic of a demon—”
“Which isn’t happening.” What frail hope I’d hung onto slid through my fingers. So much for their help. I turned my back and started toward the door.
They shuffled behind me. “Or you can take your chances with this.” The sound of paper fluttering turned me around. The one on the far right held a single, partially burned piece of parchment. Words were printed in red across the paper. I reached out and took the sheet from them.
Venom of a Guardian
Blood of a Vampire
Yoke of dragons
Fire of an elemental
“This is some sort of recipe?” I ran a finger over the words.
“Yes, but you must gather the items in order.”
I looked at Erik who was reading over my shoulder. “What do you think, will it work?”
The women cackled. “Oh, it will work, Blood of the Lost. That we know. It will kindle the child in your belly, bringing her with a speed that will leave you plenty of time to love her, so when you leave her, the pain will be as if your heart is being torn from your body.”
Jaw tight, I stepped back from them. “So you’re doing this to make me hurt myself.”
Three heads nodded in unison, grinning. “Yes.”
Erik’s hands tightened around my upper arms. “Why would you want to hurt her?”
“Pain is beauty, pain is life, pain is all there is in the end. We do her a favor, we offer her a way to hold her child sooner. What is that worth to you?” The head in the middle, the oldest one stared at me while the other two stared at the floor.
“You want something for this?”
“We want to be there when you leave the child. When you say your goodbye. The taste of your pain . . . it will be exquisite.” Her lips, all three sets, curled up into an unpleasant smile that did not reach any of her eyes.
Erik put his mouth to my ear and spoke. “They are like a vampire, but feeding off emotion instead of blood.”
A shudder slid through me and I stared at the paper in my hand. What choice was there? I needed this to work, and if my pain was the cost, pain I would experience no matter how this turned out, what did I care if they fed off it?
“Done.”
Chapter 5
Back in the monastery I sat in the warm garden watching Catya trying to get the snow leopard to play with her. Across the way from me, Daisy held Zane in one arm while she watched her daughter play in the grass at her feet. At least I knew he was safe, well loved. Not that I didn’t care, I just couldn’t manage more than I’d done for him so far. And I was afraid to give him more of my heart. To leave one child I loved was going to be torture. I wasn’t sure I could leave two.
C
atya bopped the leopard in the nose with a paw, and let out a growl. The leopard rolled onto her back and stretched out her limbs. Amusing, and it kept my brain from thinking too hard about the list of ingredients I needed in order to make things happen. The piece of paper crinkled in my hand and I looked down, the words jumping out at me.
“Blaz¸” I called softly, knowing he heard me regardless of the fact I was being quiet. “What is a yoke of dragon?”
His head slid over the edge of the garden wall. Yoke of dragon? Marriage.
I frowned at the paper. “This is a fucking riddle then. I have two ingredients, a marriage and a fucking elemental. How the hell is that a spell?”
Blaz crept along the edge of the wall until he was behind me and could peer over my shoulder. Not that he really needed to do that, he could have picked through my mind to see what I was seeing. But he was never that disrespectful.
I think that’s exactly what you have. The two ingredients are needed, the words for the marriage vows that yoke two dragons together is the incantation and likely the whole thing needs to be done over the fire of an elemental.
Well, shit. “How’d you get so smart?”
He snorted, a curl of smoke trickling out of his nose. You would have figured it out if you were at your best. And you aren’t, you know that, right? You know you will not be making good decisions, right now?
I hunched my shoulders, but I couldn’t truly argue with him. I wasn’t at my best and it tore at a piece of me that I was somehow letting down those I loved. That nothing in my life had prepared me for this pain, this uncertainty and this ridiculous feeling of disconnection. It hit me then that I felt as though I were back in the courtroom, facing the judge, being accused of killing my little sister. There was no control, nothing I could do but hope to hell I could get through. Just like my past.
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