by Ted Dekker
“We have reason to believe you know more than you’re letting on,” Rose said.
“I swear I’ve told you everything I know,” my mother insisted.
Then Jamie: “Mother, if you confess, amends can be made. If they force you, it will go badly. Please, for the love of God, tell them!”
Confess? Confess to what? I opened my bedroom door wider and stepped out into the hallway, listening intently.
“I have nothing to confess. I don’t even know what you’re accusing me of.”
“We have evidence, Julianna!” Rose snapped. “You aren’t doing yourself any favors by hiding the truth.”
“What evidence?”
A long beat.
“We found signs of someone hiding in one of the old train cars north of the perimeter,” Rose said.
“This,” Jamie said.
The room fell quiet, and two thoughts dropped into my head—like two hand grenades. One, Eli and I must have left something behind. Two, it wouldn’t take my mother long to realize that it was my doing.
My sins had caught up with me!
I considered rushing back into my room, locking the door, and scrambling back out my window to hide away with Eli. But how long could we actually survive? They would find us. They would find him. What had I been thinking?
“Do you have another explanation for how my old shirt ended up out there?” Jamie asked.
Panic lapped at my mind. I’d taken some of Jamie’s old things to Eli. How stupid! And how could we have been so careless to leave something behind?
“I . . .” My mother faltered. She knew it wasn’t her or Jamie, which meant it had to be me.
“Well?” Rose pressed. “Do you have any other explanation?”
“No,” my mother finally whispered.
“No?” Rose demanded.
“No,” Mother said. “I don’t.”
I didn’t understand. I pushed off the wall, leaning closer but staying out of sight.
“So you confess to helping the boy escape?” Rose asked.
“He’s just a boy, Rose,” my mother said, her tone low and controlled.
Confusion spread across my chest. What was she doing?
“You have no idea what you’ve done here,” Rose said, voice scalding.
“Tell us where he is,” Jamie snapped.
“I won’t,” my mother replied.
No, I thought. No, she can’t do this! I stepped forward and felt a hand grab my arm to pull me back. I spun to see Bobbie standing beside me, shaking her head.
“That boy will be the end of Haven Valley!” Rose cried. “Tell us where he is or I swear you will be thrown to the Fury!”
“I can’t let her do this,” I whispered, tugging against Bobbie’s hold.
She placed her other hand on my shoulder. “Yes you can, and you must.”
“Think carefully about what your silence will cost you,” Rose threatened.
“Mother, please,” Jamie said. “I beg you, please—”
“I won’t allow you to harm him,” my mother said. “He’s Ben’s son.”
“Take her!” Rose shrieked. “I swear it will be your life or his. Take her away!”
I struggled against Bobbie’s hold, tears filling my eyes and spilling down my cheeks. I wanted to cry out that it was me they wanted, that I was the guilty party. But my voice was lost to my shock and grief. And to Bobbie’s warning stare.
“Why are you holding me back?” I raged at her.
“Because you want me to,” Bobbie said. And that crushed me, because deep down I knew she had to be right.
There were more mumbled words downstairs, more heavy steps, and then finally there was nothing but silence.
I fell forward into Bobbie’s arms and she pulled me close as I wept, tortured by a single thought.
I didn’t deserve to live.
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
I LAY AWAKE MOST OF THE NIGHT, VACILLATING BEtween raw emotion and numbness. Back and forth, neither granting me any peace.
I’d heard Jamie come home a few hours before the sun came up. He plodded up the stairs, maybe in exhaustion, maybe in disbelief. He paused outside my door, and I feared he might come inside. What would I say to him if he did? Would he see the guilt written all over my face, drag me away to lock me in a cell with my mother?
I never found out, because he didn’t come in. He just stood outside my door for a minute before walking back down the stairs.
The sun had come up an hour ago, and I considered moving from where I was but couldn’t find the will. My mother had confessed to my sin. I could save her if I surrendered myself. If I turned Eli in. Him for her. A stranger for my mother.
But he wasn’t a stranger anymore. And I’d made a promise to my father. And my mother would be horrified to learn I’d sacrificed Eli. And maybe he was the hope we all needed in Haven Valley.
Bobbie was no help. Admitting to my role in Eli’s escape would bring great trouble to me, she argued. Besides, I couldn’t be sure Rose would actually harm my mother.
I heard a commotion downstairs. Jamie was up. Again he climbed the stairs; again he stood outside my door. This time he knocked.
“Grace?” he called through the door without opening it.
I didn’t respond. What was I supposed to say?
“Grace, I’m headed back out to search.”
They hadn’t found him. I forced myself up and off the bed, then walked to the door and opened it. My brother forced a smile. Dark circles hung under his eyes. His face was pale, his facial hair untrimmed. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days.
I imagined I looked the same. For a moment, we just stood there, neither of us wanting the other to see what was really happening behind the masks we were wearing.
Jamie cleared his throat. “Are you going to be okay here alone today?”
“I’ll manage.”
He nodded and paused another moment as if he might say something else, but then seemed to think better of it and turned to leave. He was at the top of the stairs when I spoke.
“How is she?” I asked.
He stilled for a beat, and I saw him roll his hands into fists at his hips. He glanced over his shoulder, and I thought maybe I saw remorse in his eyes. Without a word, he turned back and descended the stairs.
My thoughts jumped to the worst scenarios imaginable. Worse than death. Images filled with pain and misery. My mother’s body broken and abused, her mind torn, her will fading.
Because of me.
I stood in my doorway as Jamie’s boots clumped across the first floor and out the front door. Fresh tears blurred my vision as thoughts of the beautiful woman who had raised me filled my mind. And with them, a terrible guilt strong enough to snuff me out.
I knew then that I couldn’t let them harm my mother. It couldn’t be her for my sake. It couldn’t be her for Eli’s sake. There was only one solution.
I had to turn Eli over to Rose.
I WALKED OUT THROUGH MY BACK DOOR AND CAREfully made my way across the town toward the east side where I’d hidden Eli in the abandoned building. I was mindful of being seen but cared less than I had previously. In an hour, when I walked up to the Pierce home with the boy in hand, it would all be over anyway.
I’d expected my fear of the consequences of my sins to assault me, but I was either too numb or too resolved. I did fear for Eli, however, so I began to lie to myself.
Maybe Rose wouldn’t kill Eli. Maybe if he showed her what he’d shown me, she would change her mind. Eli didn’t seem to fear anything, so maybe he would find a way to save himself. Maybe there was hope after all. I needed to at least imagine that much so I could maintain the strength needed to save my mother.
As soon as the abandoned house was in sight, that hope began to fade. How could I really be considering this? I should just trade myself for my mother. Leave the boy out of it. Tell them that I’d helped him escape and he’d taken off into the forest. But what would that solve? R
ose wouldn’t rest until the boy was found.
I took a deep breath and made my way to the back of the house. Turning the corner I came to a stop, surprised. Eli was standing in the tall grass behind the house, basking in the sun as a light breeze pulled at his hair.
I glanced around to make sure we were alone. He shouldn’t be outside!
He must have heard me because he turned around, smiling. I tried to politely return his smile but couldn’t. The sight of him standing there—the sun washing over his round face, his eyes catching the light and shining like jewels—filled me with terrible guilt.
Eli walked toward me, his expression never wavering. He reached me, lifted his hand to wrap his fingers into mine and looked up at me. “It’s okay, Grace.”
Okay? What was okay? He had no idea just how not okay things were.
Tears filled my eyes. Surely he didn’t know what was coming. But then maybe he did. Maybe he had always known.
“Can I show you something?” he asked. He doubled back in the direction he’d come, his hand still laced in mine, gently urging me to follow. “Come on, it’s okay. Promise.”
I went with him, wondering how I was going to break the news to him. Or if I could. Maybe I should just take him without any explanation.
We crossed the backyard and stepped into the forest.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see. Hurry.” The excitement in his voice only deepened my guilt. How could such an innocent boy be the subject of such rage and fear?
When we reached the red rope, I instinctively pulled back.
Eli paused. He glanced up at me without releasing my hand. “Don’t worry. Nothing can hurt you here.”
“He’s wrong.” I looked to my right to see Bobbie leaning against a tree. “You most definitely can be threatened here and everywhere.” She pushed herself off the tree. “But confessing to Rose will bring you certain suffering.”
What are you saying? Go past the red rope with him?
“If you refuse to abandon him, regardless of my advice, better to go with him than turn him in. Rose is a bigger threat to you now than the Fury beyond the rope.” She shrugged. “Either way, you’re playing with fire.”
I looked back at the boy, who seemed oblivious to her. As I looked into his eyes, peace began to fill my chest.
Eli gave my hand a light tug. “Come on.”
I stepped over the red rope and let him lead me forward. The forest was thick, but Eli deftly maneuvered us through the trees. I could see no path. After several minutes the trees thinned out. The grass was greener here and the sun was hot with so little shade. Still I followed, hand in hand with Eli, both of us silent.
We reached the base of a steep hill that rose above the forest. I knew it well because it was visible from Haven Valley, though I didn’t know anyone who’d actually climbed it. There was a small game trail that headed up and out of sight. As a child, I’d often looked at the grassy knoll and thought of the Fury hidden in a lair here, waiting for me to wander away from safety so they could tear into me.
Eli dropped my hand. “To the top,” he said.
“The top? I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Come on,” Eli said, starting for the small dirt path. “Up, up, up.” He didn’t glance behind to make sure I was following; he just left me standing there, uncertain.
I glanced behind me and could see the roofs of the homes that ran along the edge of Haven Valley. I’d followed him this far, and going back now without him would be pointless. Without him, I had nothing to exchange for my mother.
Was he leading me into a trap? Bobbie had said it was okay to follow him. But Bobbie didn’t want me to confess to having hidden Eli.
I swallowed and started up the path, hurrying now to catch Eli. The path was thin and steep, winding up and around the hill toward the top. The higher we climbed, the more tenuous the path became, falling off on the right to a deep ravine.
“Why are we climbing so high?” I demanded, now truly unnerved.
“Some things are best done in high places,” he said. “Hurry!”
What things? I wondered. Things the Fury did? But Bobbie had said it was okay.
My lungs started to burn and my legs ached from the climb, farther and farther up. I tried to keep my mind off the danger we were placing ourselves in so far from safety. I tried to keep my mind off the fact that we would have to go back down the same way we’d come up. I tried to keep my mind off my mother.
But I failed miserably on all counts.
Eli stopped ten paces ahead of me, and I hurried the last few steps to his side. We had crested the grassy hilltop. At the center lay several large flat rocks. Eli ran to the closest and jumped up. “We’re here!”
I walked to the rock and looked around. From up here so much was clear. As far as I could see in every direction, mountains rolled to the horizon. Forests stood guard, thick with Fury who remained hidden until called upon to consume the unfaithful.
But I was most interested in Haven Valley behind us. It was the first time I’d seen the whole town from this bird’s-eye view.
I had lived most of my life inside this valley. Homes lined up in neat little rows to the south. The paved road up the middle between the outbuildings. The rise north, on which the little white Chapel was perched. The fields to the west, with barn and cows and goats and chicken coops. The schoolhouse and storage units to the east. I could see the large symbolic gate, the old train cars, everything. The entire town lay out before me in a perfectly maintained oval surrounded by the red perimeter rope, and beyond it, the trees.
Two search parties were still at it, one on either side of town. Rose wasn’t giving up. From here, the people looked like tiny stick figures. One of them was likely Jamie.
“I’ve never seen Haven Valley from so high,” I said.
“Or maybe you’ve never really seen Haven Valley at all,” Eli said. “But that’s why we are here.”
I looked up at him standing on the rock, staring down the hill, face flat now. “It is? What do you mean?”
He shoved his chin at whatever had caught his attention. “See for yourself.”
Immediately, a distant haunting cry shrieked on the wind, sending a chill up my spine. I slowly turned my head, following his stare.
Down below, along the tree line of a meadow, was a Fury half in, half out of the dark forest. A black shroud moved like a fog around it. I couldn’t see its eyes or mouth, but I knew it was staring up at us from inside that dark hood.
My heart stopped and I inched backward. My calves bumped into the rock Eli stood on, and I spun. Grabbed his hand, near panic. “It’s . . .”
“A Fury. Yes, I see it,” Eli finished for me, his voice calm as ever.
“You see it?”
As the words left my mouth, another shriek—more like a whine—echoed below me and I twisted back, still clutching Eli’s hand. Two more beasts stepped out from the trees to the far right of the first one, these clearly larger. And then several more, emerging from the trees like black fog. How many were in those trees? Too many! Even one was too many!
“Of course I see them,” Eli said. “They’re right there, aren’t they?”
I could hardly breathe now. “They’re between us and the town.” Breathe. “How are we going to get out of here?”
A chorus of haunting cries echoed around me, to the left and right now. More Fury—I dared not look. We were surrounded by them!
“God help us,” I whispered.
“They’re pretty far from home,” Eli said. “They normally stay much closer to their hosts.”
“We have to get back!” I cried.
“To where? There?” He was looking directly at Haven Valley, and when I lifted my eyes, I couldn’t at first comprehend what I was seeing.
The town I’d grown up in looked nothing like I knew it. A black fog hung low to the ground within the red perimeter. It rippled with long writhing cords or maybe snakes that stretched fro
m building to building, as if they were some kind of plumbing system, only above ground. The same black fog was concentrated around each home, curling and coiling with long tendrils. All of this I saw in a single glance.
But it was the Fury in the fog that threw my mind into complete disarray. Hundreds of wraiths, thousands maybe, swirled around the search parties, hovered around the homes, drifted in and out of the walls, trailed by the fog wafting around them like a stubborn foul scent. So many Fury, smothering the town. Where there were some outside the perimeter, there were a hundredfold inside that rope.
Like a growing symphony, their sound reached me, distant at first, then growing in volume, a terrible high-pitched wail mixed with a soft, throaty, guttural roar. The sound was as horrifying as the sight. And it came from inside the perimeter.
Haven Valley was infested with Fury!
“What’s happening?” I cried. “Why is . . .” I didn’t even know what my question was because I was staring at the impossible.
“Shadows,” Eli said.
“Shadows?”
“Darkness. Blindness. Fear. Fury. They’re all the same thing.”
“But . . . they’re inside the perimeter?”
“Where they’ve always been.”
“We have to tell them!” But my mind was immediately thrown back into the impossibility of what I was seeing. No, this couldn’t be. We were protected from the Fury inside the perimeter! I was seeing something that wasn’t there.
“This isn’t real,” I ventured, spinning back to Eli.
“Not really, no. No more than darkness is real. It’s only the absence of light.”
“No, I mean there can’t be any Fury in the perimeter. They’re out there, in the world, not here!”
“You’re right, they are out there, smothering the world. But they are also here. In fact, there are many more Fury in Haven Valley than in most places. Sylous first opened your eyes to the same fear that’s always existed in the whole world, then promised to hide it from you if you follow the law. He’s a spirit of religion.”
“How can the Fury be here? We’re Christians! You’re saying our faith is a failure?”
