by Ted Dekker
“It’s not that Christianity has failed; it’s that so few Christians have really tried it. If you were in the truth, you would know love without fear. You think you’re saved from some future hell, but as you can see, it’s all around you. Fear has invaded you and blinded you to the light.”
Invaded me? Panic swirled around me, and as it did, I heard a shriek in the back of my mind. The Fury were inside of me? I scrambled up on the rock beside Eli and grabbed his hand, if only to still the terror now raging through me.
“Make it stop!” I cried, and covered my face with my hands, clenching my eyes shut. “Stop this!”
“Okay,” he said, unconcerned.
Immediately the sound stopped, as if he’d pulled the cord that powered it.
“Look now.”
I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the valley below. I gasped and jerked my hands from my face. Where only a moment ago Haven Valley had been smothered by a writhing darkness, now it glowed bright. Wisps of light strewn with vibrant colors—red, blue, green and gold—swirled around the buildings.
“She who has eyes to see, let her see,” Eli said. “Nice, huh?”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Now you’re seeing the truth beyond fear.”
“What is it?”
“Light. Love. Sight. The kingdom of heaven. They’re all the same.”
“You mean the inheritance of the pure?” I asked, looking down at him. “But that’s . . . It hasn’t come yet.” I turned my eyes back on the town. “And what happened to the Fury?”
“There’s light and love seen in true sight, which we call the kingdom. And there’s darkness and fear experienced in blindness, which we can call the world. Which do you prefer?” He was smiling, daring me.
And then the light was gone again, replaced once more by the dark fog trailing a thousand Fury. But they were silent now.
For a few seconds, I just stared. I didn’t know if I dared believe him.
I glanced around, hoping Bobbie would appear to give me some guidance.
“She’s not here now,” Eli said. “I sent her away because I want you to listen to me before we go back to town.”
He had that power over her? I felt exposed there, but maybe he did have some power over the Fury.
“We can’t go back down there,” I said, voice unsteady.
“Of course we can. You have to take me to Rose. But first, tell me who you are.” He beamed beside me, daring me to tell him what was so obvious.
“You already know,” I said. “Grace.”
“That’s your fear-based self. Who is the true you? Remember?”
I hesitated. “You mean the light?”
“The light of the world. So if you’re the light, why are you afraid of the Fury, who are only darkness and can’t exist in the light?”
Could it be true? Yes, it could be. I knew that in my bones, but it sounded far too good to be true.
“Because you cling to fear and darkness as your protector, that’s all,” he said. “But you can’t serve two masters. You have to let go of one to serve the other. Deny one to know the other. Let go of your whole life bound in fear to awaken to who you are as the light. And that light shows itself as love.”
Looking into his bright blue eyes so full of certainty, I allowed myself to believe him for a moment. It still sounded too good to be true, but surrendering to his words, even for a few moments, flooded me with a hope I had never known.
“So, you’re saying that everyone in Haven Valley is the light of the world, but we’ve all been blinded to that light by the Fury?”
“Just like the rest of the world.”
“Why would Sylous show us the Fury?”
“To increase your fear so you would follow him.”
“Why?”
Excitement filled his eyes. “You’ll see soon enough.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around what he seemed to be suggesting, so I pushed back again. “That’s the opposite of what Rose teaches. We’re good Christians, so how can the Fury blind us?”
“Actually, you serve fear. You think it will save you, but fear can’t save you. Only love can, and God is love. You can choose the light, which shows itself as love, or you can choose darkness, which shows itself as fear. Not both.”
“But there can also be some wisdom in fear, right?”
“In the world’s eyes, yes. It seems to protect you. Do this and you will be safe. Don’t do that or you will be in trouble. Run, hide, attack, defend. But that keeps you in fear of the monster you run from. So does judgment. You can only judge what you fear. In blindness, fear sounds godly, but it’s a false god. And that false god is the air most people breathe. Religion has given itself over to it. You understand this?”
His words set off a high-pitched ringing in my ears as he continued.
“Love, though . . . there is no fear in love. None. It’s the light in which there is no darkness. It’s the truth that makes no accounting of wrong, because that can only be done in fear. Until you awaken to this love, none of your confessions or beliefs mean anything. This was written thousands of years ago. It’s not new truth. It’s only been forgotten, you understand?”
I nodded, stupefied by the thought that if he was right, everything I had been taught was upside down.
Eli chuckled. “Yup. But if you have the courage to step beyond what you were taught, that can change.” He took my hand in his and stared at the valley. “It’s time.”
“No. No, we can’t go back down there.” The town was still smothered by the black wraith-filled fog. “You have to change this.”
“You mean close your eyes to the Fury?”
“I can’t go down there like this.” I grasped for more arguments to dissuade him. “And if I turn you over to Rose, she’ll kill you.”
“But I’m not afraid to die,” he said. “Why would anyone who knows themselves as the light be afraid of the death of their body? The body is beautiful, but only a temporary tent to live through. Come on.” He started down from the rock, giving my hand a gentle tug.
“Wait!”
He looked up.
“Can you just make the Fury go away?”
“That’s what we’re doing. But to do that, we have to go into it. Don’t worry, I’ll be right with you. Just remember that you’re the light. When you know that, the Fury vanish like shadows.” He paused, then added, “If it helps, call them shadows rather than Fury.”
The guardians would soon be looking for me. My mother was being held for my sin. I had to get back.
I gave Eli a tentative nod. “Okay. Stay with me.”
“I’ll never leave you, Grace.”
And then we were heading back down the declining game trail.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
FEAR RAGED THROUGH ME AS WE HURRIED DOWN, my hand in Eli’s. And when he led me into the clearing where I could see the wraiths emerging from the trees, my heart was in my throat.
Shadows. They are only shadows. And I’m the light. The light of the world.
I don’t think my recitations chased them away. I think Eli did that, because the moment we stepped into the clearing, those closest drifted back like dogs backing away from a predator. Then they faded and were gone, like shadows under a brightening sun.
Confidence surged through my chest. As long as I was with Eli, I was safe. And yes, I was the light of the world. Nothing could harm the light, only block it.
Eli and I shared a knowing glance. He giggled, then let out a triumphant whoop and raced forward, yanking me along behind him. Part of me was startled by his boldness—there were still shadows out there! But I staggered forward just behind him anyway, caught up by his courage. Across the field, the shadows vanished as we neared them. The power he had over the Fury was stunning to me. Why had I ever been afraid?
We didn’t stop running until we reached the perimeter. I pulled up, panting. “Hold on.”
He released my hand and spun back. �
�You see? Easy!”
But looking at Haven Valley within the perimeter, I thought it might not be so easy. The fog was everywhere, knee high and hovering and coiling around the buildings ahead of us. Only then did I notice there were no Fury, only the fog. It was like a stench that followed them. I could smell it now.
“The black fog you see is part of the Fury,” Eli said. “Like their scent.”
“What about the creatures?”
“They’ve retreated into their hosts.”
“Are they demons?” I asked.
“No. Shadows, remember?”
“Shadows,” I said.
“Come on.” He started forward. ”We aren’t done yet.”
I took another moment to stare at the scene before me, then stepped over the perimeter and entered Haven Valley.
As Eli approached, the fog parted, granting a wide berth for him to pass. Easy. The Fury couldn’t stand against the light of who he was. The moment Rose saw his power, she would change her mind, surely. It was going to be a glorious day for Haven Valley! Eli had come to show us our inheritance, the kingdom of heaven, which was already here. They would set my mother free.
This is it, I thought. The end has finally come!
As we approached the houses, the fog twisted through windows and vanished inside, scurrying from Eli and me. We were like two prophets entering town with the power of God as our staffs. The light had come, and the shadow in the valley of death was no more.
Eli led us past the homes toward the main strip of stores, where we were certain to encounter people. I could feel Bobbie wanting me to worry about being seen, but I let her fears fall away.
Everything changed when we saw the first person. It was Judy Smithworth, a teacher whom I’d always loved dearly. A kind woman with bright eyes and curly blonde hair cut short as required. Her husband was a farmer. She stood not thirty paces before us, staring and stupefied. The boy was found.
The sight of her stunned me. Ropes of dense fog wrapped around her chest and neck, and the offshoots wove their way into her eyes, her ears, her mouth. She stood in a thin, shifting fog.
And she was clearly unaware of any of it. Unaware that she’d bound herself to fear, which blinded her to the kingdom of heaven, in which she was the light.
Her eyes were on Eli. “Grace?” she said.
I shifted my eyes to several others beyond her. The Martin family paused in a huddle of eight. Tyler Smith and his children watched from outside the general store. Margaret Holden stared from across the street. They were the same. All bound in the darkness, all staring at me and Eli walking through the center of town. At least half of them were covered in the rash that had first afflicted Evelyn, whispering among themselves. One of Tyler’s boys took off running.
A group of children rounded the corner to our right—the Pierce children among them, including Evelyn. Like the others, the children were clouded in a thin fog, though the cords of darkness weren’t as developed.
I stopped, reminded of just what awaited us when we encountered Rose, which would be soon. She was likely already hearing the news.
Eli looked back at me, eyes bright, unconcerned. “Remember who you are. You can only serve one master.” With that, he headed directly toward the children. They’d stopped and were staring, as were the adults. No one seemed to know what to do.
Rose would.
Stephen Pierce, the youngest in this group, pushed past the other children and smiled as Eli approached. I hurried to catch up to him, doing my best to still the nerves now buzzing on high alert.
“Hello,” Stephen said.
“Hello, Stephen,” Eli replied. The fog surrounding the boy retreated when Eli stopped not ten feet from him.
“Everyone’s been looking for you,” Stephen said. “Why have you been hiding?”
“I didn’t mean to be hiding,” Eli said. “I was just away exploring.”
Stephen’s small eyes lit with excitement and curiosity. “I’ve never been exploring.”
“I could take you if you want.”
Stephen beamed and nodded before another hand reached out, yanked him back, and stepped forward to block the boy from Eli’s gaze. Evelyn, her eyes filled with terror and anger. Her hands were concealed with gloves. Cords of darkness were wrapped around her arms, chest and neck. They didn’t retreat as Stephen’s had.
“Hello, Evelyn,” Eli said.
“Stay away from my brother,” Evelyn spat.
“I see you’ve been having some trouble with your skin.”
She stiffened. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know you’re in pain,” Eli said. “I know you cry yourself to sleep because it hurts so bad.”
He stepped closer, almost close enough to touch her. The adults nearby inched back, clearly afraid of him. But the children remained, watching him carefully.
“I know you believe you deserve to feel this pain,” Eli said, his voice hardly loud enough for me to hear.
Evelyn was shaking her head slightly, but her eyes misted with tears.
“I know you think this is all your fault. That you’ve failed your mother. That you’ve failed God. That you don’t deserve forgiveness.”
Tears slid down Evelyn’s cheeks, and I swallowed the emotions rising from my chest.
Eli took another small step. “Do you believe you’ve failed God?”
The girl sniffed and dropped her eyes. Eli reached out and took the girl’s hand in his own. Almost immediately, the cords of fear retreated into her body. A quiet sob hitched her shoulders.
“You can’t fail God,” Eli said. “He can’t be threatened. Nothing can compromise him. And in him you’re already made whole.”
Evelyn lifted her eyes and looked at Eli’s face. “I’m not whole,” she said. “I’m not what you say.”
“Yes you are.” Eli lifted Evelyn’s hand up, carefully ungloved her fingers, and exposed the red, harsh rash that covered her skin. He studied her hand, turned it over gently in his own, then looked back up at Evelyn’s face. “You are perfect,” he said. And then he lowered his head and placed a kiss on the top of her blistered hand.
“Get away from my daughter!” Rose’s warning cut through the stillness, and I turned to see her marching toward us, flanked by the guardians Morton and Ralph. Her face was red with anger as she ran toward her daughter.
I heard Evelyn’s cries and turned back to see that Eli had stepped away from her.
“You monster!” Rose screamed, reaching the children. “What have you done to her?” She yanked Evelyn out of Eli’s reach and ran her hands over her daughter’s face, down her arms, looking for whatever harm Eli had caused. “What did he do?”
Evelyn, still sobbing, raised her ungloved hand. We all saw it at the same time. The skin on her hand was clean, free of any redness or rash.
Rose pushed up the sleeve on Evelyn’s arm to reveal more beautiful skin.
“He healed me,” Evelyn said, staring at her skin. “He saved me.”
Rose glanced from Evelyn to Eli. Behind her, two more of our guardians had arrived, staring with curiosity and caution. The children leaned forward to look for themselves.
Harrison arrived and knelt down to examine his daughter’s skin. A larger crowd was gathering. News of the boy’s appearance was drawing them like flies now.
“What happened?” Harrison demanded.
“The boy healed me,” Evelyn said.
“Impossible!”
“I told you,” Stephen announced from where he stood, grinning. “He can do magic.”
“The devil’s work!” Rose snapped, glaring at Eli. But he offered her a gentle smile, and I watched as her glare softened. Even she knew that something greater than the devil’s work was happening, surely. Hope surged through me.
More people had gathered and were watching with some amazement, all looking from the softly sobbing girl to the boy who had just taken away her disease. Most of Haven Valley was here now, and I caught a glimpse of Jam
ie standing on the fringe of onlookers, his face darkened with anger.
All of them were bound in cords of fear, but no one more so than my brother, who looked to be choking in a cloak of writhing darkness. If they could see what I saw, they would be running for the hills. But it wasn’t my place to speak.
Eli looked at the gathered crowd and started pacing. “There’s a story about a boat caught in a terrible storm. All the passengers were terrified except one, who slept in peace even as the waves pounded the boat, threatening the lives of all on board. They called that one Yeshua. The others rushed to him and begged him to save them. He stood and asked them one question. ‘Why are you afraid, you of little faith?’”
Eli looked at Rose, who appeared dumbstruck. “Why would this teacher not be afraid in the face of such a terrible threat? Unless what he saw and what the others saw were two different realities. Where they saw a threat, he slept in peace. This was perhaps his greatest miracle, much greater than the healing of a rash.”
Not a soul moved. His words held them in perfect stillness.
“Today Haven Valley faces a terrible storm of fear. But you too can see truth. You too can be freed from the blindness of fear and see with new eyes. In that new sight, you will see light instead of darkness. When you see the light, you will know love instead of fear because in love, there is no fear. In love, there is no record of wrong. Unless you know that love, everything you believe is worthless and gains you nothing, Christian or not. I come as a way-shower. But it’s up to you to follow the way.”
Peace settled over me. Emotion clogged my throat. They were listening! Eli really had come to save Haven Valley, and they were listening. How foolish of me to doubt.
As quickly as the peace had come, the atmosphere around me changed. I heard the clicking of his shoes on the pavement behind me, walking toward us from the south. Dread filled my chest and I was terrified to look.
To a man, woman, and child, all had torn their eyes from Eli and were staring past me in shock. So then I had to look.
I twisted just as he came to a stop fifteen feet behind me. Grinning. Standing before us for the first time in ten years.
