Translation of Love

by Alice Montalvo-Tribue

  When we arrive at the studio, Rob ushers us into the building. We take an elevator to the fourth floor and exit into a dark, narrow hallway. Victor puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me toward the end of the hallway to a door on the left. As soon as the door opens, I come face to face with 6’2” of ripped muscles, olive skin and those milk chocolate brown eyes that I’ve become oh so familiar with. Alex is bulkier than Victor. His nose is more pronounced and his hair is a little shorter but I know immediately by looking at him that he is Victor’s brother. I’m engulfed in Alex’s big, strong arms as he gives me an unexpected hug.

  “Ellie, it’s so good to finally meet you.”

  I can’t help but giggle. “Thank you, it’s nice to meet you too,” I say, hugging him back.

  Victor clears his throat. “Umm, hello? You wanna let go of my girl?”

  “I’m sorry. I had to hug her to make sure she was real and not just a figment of your imagination.” He looks down at me. “Ellie, you should know that this man has done nothing but talk about you for two weeks now.”

  I feel the crimson rising in my cheeks as Alex releases his hold on me. Victor snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me backwards until my back is to his front. “Stop embarrassing her, Lex. She’s been through enough today.”

  Alex walks over to some kind of mixing console and sits down in an empty chair. “Why? What happened?”

  Victor leads me over to an available chair and sits me down, leaving his hands on my shoulders. “Ellie met mom today.”

  Alex’s eyes go wide. He looks me in the eyes and shakes his head. “Oh God, I’m so sorry.” Instinctively I laugh, I can’t help it.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh.”

  Alex smiles. “No, that’s good, she makes most people cry.” I laugh again, coming to realize that Alex has the same charismatic attitude as Victor. I like him already.

  “Oh God, it wasn’t that bad,” I say, trying to make light of the situation.

  Victor squeezes my shoulders. “Yes, it was. She was horrible.”

  I hear a deep voice coming from the doorway. “What did she say to you?” I turn to see Rob standing there, legs wide, arms across his chest, looking like stone. I’d forgotten that he was even there.

  “Um, she basically said I was a hussy for spending the night at Victor’s and that it didn’t matter because he’d move on soon enough.”

  “What?” I turn back to face Alex. “How did she know you spent the night?”

  I bow my head and cover my eyes with my hands, shaking my head. Memories of her walking in on us come flooding back, making me blush with embarrassment all over again.

  Victor chuckles, and then responds to his brother. “She walked in on us, just after… ya know.” There’s a moment of silence in the room, then all of a sudden I hear laughter. I uncover my eyes to see all three of them laughing hysterically. This goes on for a while until I finally interject.

  “It’s not funny!”

  “You’re right, Babe. It’s not funny.” Victor chuckles.

  “Listen, Ellie, don’t let our overbearing mother get to you. She’s too focused on Victor’s career to care about anything else. No matter what happens though, we’ve got your back.”

  Oh my God, he’s just as sweet as his brother. “Thanks, Alex.”

  “You’re welcome.” He pats his hands down on his thighs and looks at Victor. “Alright, Bro, you ready to get this song done?”

  “Let’s do it.”

  Once Victor gets behind the glass, separating the sound booth from the rest of the studio, time seems to fly by. I’m amazed by how they break down the songs line by line singing them over and over until they get the right take. He and Alex work well together, bouncing ideas off of one another, experimenting with different beats and lyrics. Alex spends a good portion of the time translating the songs for me as Victor sings them. He tells me that because Spanish is a romance language, it’s hard to capture the essence of the song when it’s translated. He also lets me look on as he navigates his equipment. I can see why the two of them love being here so much. I love being here with them.

  Once they’re satisfied with the progress they’ve made, Victor steps out of the booth and plops down on a chair.

  “So what’d you think, Babe?”

  “I can see why you love recording so much. It’s a lot of fun.”

  “Cool, you hungry?”

  “I could eat.”

  “How bout some Cuban food?”

  “Sure,” I turn to Alex, “How bout you, you want Cuban?”

  “You two go ahead. I don’t wanna intrude.”

  “It’s alright, Lex, we don’t mind.”

  He looks between Victor and me, trying to decide whether he wants to be a third wheel or not. “Alright, if you guys insist.”

  Victor texts Rob to bring the car around. I hadn’t noticed he left. He really is good at being invisible.

  “Rob’s in the lobby. Let’s roll,” Victor says, linking his fingers through mine and pulling me from my chair. The three of us board the elevator, taking it down to the lobby, where Rob is waiting. Together we walk to the car. Alex takes the front seat, leaving Victor and I in the back. He snuggles me into his side and whispers in my ear, “Told ya he’d love you.” The comment makes me smile. I bring up my left hand to grab his hand. “I really like him too, and you two together are adorable.”

  “Adorable?” He looks down at me looking almost disgusted, like a child that’s just tasted a dreaded dose of medicine. “Babe! I’m sexy, never adorable.”

  “Okay calm down, sexy. I meant it in the best possible way.”

  He brings his mouth back to my ear. “I can’t wait to get you home. I’ll make sure you never mistake me for adorable again.”

  The tone of his voice, tells me he means it. It’s a promise and I’m looking forward to being on the receiving end of. I lick my lips. “Oh, is that right?”

  “Yeah, that’s right,” he says, licking my earlobe.

  My heart rate increases. “I’m looking forward to it.” Lately, I feel like someone’s taken over my body. The me that I created two years ago would never say or do the things I’ve done in the last few days. That girl wouldn’t even be here, she’d be locked away in her house, alone on a Saturday night. I can’t say that I miss her. What I do miss is the protection she affords to my heart. Without that protection, I’m vulnerable, and I hate that I’ve given Victor enough power to hurt me. It’s too late now. He has all the tools to do me in. My only option is to try to keep what’s left of my defenses intact.

  Once at the restaurant, we get seated immediately at a secluded table in the rear. What a sight we must be, me surrounded by three hot men. The thought of it makes me smile. The waitress eyes me suspiciously as she takes our drink order.

  “Three Coronas… What do you want, Babe?” Victor asks.

  “I’ll have a Mango Mojito, please.”

  “Sure,” the waitress says. “Do you all know what you’d like to order, or would you like a few more minutes?”

  “Do you need help with the menu?”

  I look up at Victor and shake my head. Turning my head toward the waitress and sounding super confident, I place my order. “I’d like the Churrasco a la Cubana with a side of white rice and black beans, please.”

  When I turn back to my group, they’re all staring at me, mouths wide open like I’ve just cracked an impossible code. “What? Just cause I’m white I can’t like Cuban food?” The boys erupt in laughter. Victor puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in and placing a kiss on my head.

  I’m stunned at how comfortable I am around the three of them. The conversation flows easily throughout dinner as we trade stories about any and everything. Alex is quick to tell me as many embarrassing stories about Victor as he can remember. I’ve heard stories of crazy girls ripping his clothes off of him to stories of him forgetting lyrics and falling on stage. The drinks are flowing and I know I need to stop. I’m finis
hing up my third Mojito and I’m starting to get the swimmy feeling in my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Victor straighten his spine. He murmurs a curse under his breath.

  Alex is less discreet. “Oh, hell no!” he says. I look around the table and see that everyone is on high alert. Before I can ask anyone what’s wrong, a tall, leggy blonde approaches our table. I recognize her from the article I read this morning. This is Christina, Victor’s ex. I let out a sigh and do my best to get my emotions in check.

  “Victor,” she says coming over to him, she bends and places a kiss on his cheek.

  “Hello, Christina,” he replies icily.

  She stands again taking in the rest of us. She barely looks at Rob, but pays particular attention to me and Alex. “Alex, nice to see you again. Who’s your friend?” she asks, referring to me.

  “Actually, Christina,” Alex begins but is quickly interrupted.

  “This is Ellie, she’s my girlfriend,” Victor finishes, putting his arm around my shoulder possessively but never taking his eyes off of her. Her eyes go wide. She looks like someone’s just smacked her in her pretty little face. I can see her emotions run from hurt to angry in the span of ten seconds. Victor tenses and I can tell he’s prepared for a battle.

  Christina recovers quickly. She squares her shoulders and plasters a fake smile on her lips. “Well, Ellie, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Christina, Victor’s…”

  “I know who you are,” I interrupt. I don’t need the reminder of who she is or was.

  “Yes, I suppose you do.” She turns her head slightly, looking down on Victor. “Let me know when you get tired of your poor replacement.”

  Victor moves to stand. He looks furious, but Alex is out of his chair in seconds, crossing around the table and grabbing her by the elbow. I find my voice before he can drag her out of there. “Excuse me?” I ask with pure venom in my voice. “I’m no ones replacement. I’m the upgrade. You’ll do well to remember that. I don’t know who the hell you think you are but I will rip you to shreds if you get in my face or come near Victor again.”

  Victor’s jaw drops as I stare her down. I can tell he’s holding back laughter. Rob’s head bows down and Alex just beams at me. Christina glares at me. “Little bitch!” she spits out.

  Victor strengthens his hold on me so that he can keep me in my chair, and Alex quickly ushers her away from our table. “What a fucking bitch!” I say to no one in particular.

  Rob stands. “I’m going to make sure she leaves,” he says, walking toward the exit, leaving Victor and I alone. I wish he wouldn’t have left because now I’m pissed even though I know I shouldn’t be. I know it’s not Victor’s fault but that woman brought out the claws in me and I’m having a hard time retracting them.

  “Babe, I’m so sorry.” His tension is visible.

  “Don’t, I really don’t wanna hear it.” He looks stunned at my response but is careful controlling his emotions before we cause a scene. “I’m tired. Can you just get me out of here, please?”

  I can’t read the look on his face. I know I’m acting like a brat but I need sufficient time to cool off. “I can get you out of here.” He stands, pulls his wallet from his back pocket, throws down enough money to cover the bill and tip and pulls me up. Walking in front of me, he leads me swiftly out of the restaurant.

  Outside, Rob is standing by the car, holding the door open for us. Alex pulls me away from Victor and envelops me in a hug. He leans in close so that only I can hear and says, “Don’t let her ruin a good thing. He doesn’t love her, he wants you.”

  I nod my head. “I know,” I whisper back, not sure if I mean it.

  “Don’t be so hard on him, okay?” Alex releases me. “I’m taking a cab,” he says to Victor. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Victor nods, grabbing my hand again and helping me into the car. He gets in beside me. Moments later, we’re on our way back to his place. Victor’s looking out the window. I’m pretty sure he’s mad now too. I decide that I’m ready to discuss the incident now.

  “Victor.”

  He cuts me off. “Not here.”

  I sink into the seat and nod. He’s right. We shouldn’t do this in front of poor Rob. I know that this isn’t Victor’s fault. I do, but my brain is not listening. All I can hear is the jealousy raging throughout every pore of my body. I spend the remainder of the ride trying to calm down my crazy insecurities, but I fail. I was okay when Christina was just a picture in a paper that his mom left behind, but having met her in the flesh is just too much. I’m mounting my defenses and my instinct to flee is kicking in. Irrational or not, I don’t care. Suddenly, all of the progress I’ve made has disintegrated into dust.

  We make it into the apartment and immediately I run upstairs to Victor’s bedroom. I can’t have this confrontation with him, because if anyone can pacify me he can. He follows me into his room. Doing my best to ignore him, I grab my bag. Luckily, the only thing I need to repack is my toothbrush and makeup. I keep hold of my bag as I walk into his bathroom. Quickly, I grab my things and toss them in my bag. I exit the bathroom and he’s standing there looking completely dumbfounded.

  “What the hell are you doing, Ellie?” Victor questions, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head.

  “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m leaving!” I say, raising my voice. I walk around him and head back downstairs. Victor’s right on my heels.

  “I know that, but why? I mean what the fuck? I didn’t do anything wrong. You must know that, right?” Of course I know that, but I’m already too deep into the tantrum and now I have to commit to it.

  “I didn’t come here to get insulted by the women in your life,” I spit out, turning to face him. “I think this is more than I bargained for and I’m certainly more than you bargained for.”

  “Oh, I see,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. “You just couldn’t fucking wait to find something that you could twist and turn on me so that you could end this.”

  I square my shoulders and stand a little straighter. “Or maybe I just realized it wasn’t worth it.” There she is, the girl I created to protect my heart. I can’t explain why I’m doing this. I guess old habits are hard to break. I want to stay with him. I want to tell him that I was wrong, that my fear grabs hold of me so tightly that it makes it hard for me to breathe, but I can’t. So I let him stare at me with obvious pain in his eyes, doing nothing to remedy the hurt.

  Finally, he speaks. “If this is how you wanna act, when something happens between us, go, Ellie. I’ll make sure Rob gets you home.”

  “I don’t need Rob to get me home. I’ll get myself home.” I throw his generosity in his face.

  “Right, cause you don’t need anyone!” he says, having a hard time controlling his anger.

  “Exactly!” I say the word but I don’t mean it. I feel like I need him, like he’s the catalyst to make all of me whole again. Now it’s too late. I’ve acted like a bitch and now I have to deal with the consequences.

  “Rob will take you home,” he demands. I don’t bother fighting.

  “Fine!” I say throwing the door open and boarding the elevator. I look down, not wanting to see his face, but as soon as the doors close, I let the tears spill. When I make it outside, Rob is standing by the open door of the car waiting for me. I turn to the right, outside of the door and bolt.

  “Elle, wait!” I hear Rob call, but I don’t listen. I make my way around the corner and quickly flag down a taxi. I ask the cabbie to take me to Penn Station. I wipe my face free of tears and try to calm myself down. The sound of my phone ringing in my purse startles me. I fish it out and look at the caller ID. Of course, Victor’s learning that I just ditched Rob. I silence the phone and toss it back in my purse.

  Once inside Penn station, I grab a train ticket to my stop. Luckily, the train station is only a few minutes away from my house and there should be available cabs. I grab a coffee from one of the many vendors inside the station and make my way to my assigned platform. The t
rain runs hourly and, thankfully, I’m right on time.

  It’s late enough that the train isn’t so full. There are plenty of seats and I’m able to sit alone for the entire ride. I stare out the window, the world melting away in a haze. Mentally I’m beating myself up for being so stupid. Victor didn’t do anything wrong, he was just an unfortunate casualty of my craziness. I just need a good night’s sleep. Everything will be better in the morning. My head will be clear and I can decide whether or not I should leave it alone or beg for forgiveness.

  Almost three hours later, I’m in a cab on my way home. My chest hurts. It’s a physical ache that I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve got no one but myself to blame. I let the demons of my past destroy my wonderful present. I want to take it all back, wish it away, close my eyes and wake up back in Victor’s bed, in his arms. I need to do something, call him and apologize, anything is better than this.

  I pay the driver and make my way up the walkway to my house. Pulling my keys out of my purse, I unlock the door and toss my bags, unceremoniously on the floor. I close and lock the door and turn on the living room lights. I turn around and am startled when I come face to face with Victor. He’s standing there, blank face, unsure of himself. The pain in my chest instantly subsides, and a fresh batch of tears start to fall from my eyes.

  I shake my head, to let him know I’m an idiot. “I’m so sorry,” I cry, running into his arms. I throw my arms around his neck and he slinks his arms around my waist. “I’m such a fucking bitch. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”