Heroines and Hellions: a Limited Edition Urban Fantasy Collection

by Margo Bond Collins

  I shrug. “Just curious. And there’s also the fact that you could, you know, eat me.”

  “No. I wouldn’t eat you. Just suck your blood.” He laughs. “Yes. Human blood tastes much better than animal blood. But just like you can acquire a taste for foods you don’t like very much, I can too. And have.”

  “Can you eat human food too?” I’ve researched vampires before, but there’s conflicting information out there. And now I’ve got a real live one sitting in front of me.

  He nods. “I can, but it has no nutritional value for me at all. It passes through without doing anything.”

  “Like the whiskey I gave you?”

  “Exactly.”

  “So, you like the taste of some regular food?”

  He nods again. “I love whiskey. Some kinds of beer. Dark chocolate.”

  “Gross. I fucking hate dark chocolate. Here.” I open my fridge, which is practically empty, and grab a dark chocolate bar that was in a little gift bag Fay gave me a few weeks ago.

  “It’s all yours.” I hand it to Foster.

  “Fuck yeah. I love dark chocolate.” He grins at me as he rips open the wrapper, grabs a square, and makes a big production of popping it in his mouth, chewing and sticking out his chocolate-coated tongue.

  “Ew.” I sit down again and watch him swallow.

  “Nah. It’s good. Here.” He breaks a piece of chocolate off the bar and holds it out to me. “Eat this.”

  “No fucking way.” I shake my head.

  “Close your eyes.”

  “What the fuck, Foster?” But my stomach feels like a swarm of butterflies are trying to escape.

  He edges his chair closer, scraping it across the floor. We’re practically knee to knee. And I’m completely aware of how he smells. Clean, like soap, with a hint of bitterness from the chocolate on his breath. “Close your eyes. Just do it. Trust me.”

  Trust him? He’s the guy—creature—my boss has me stalking. He’s the one Marcus suspects kidnapped those two girls a few weeks ago. And yet . . .

  “I don’t know why I’m listening to you,” I mutter, but I shut my eyes.

  “Good girl.”

  “Fuck you.”

  He laughs. “Okay. Open your mouth.”

  My eyes fly open and I raise my eyebrows at him. “No fucking way.”

  He grins, that quirky, one-side-higher-than-the-other smile. “Humor me, killer.”

  I sigh. “Fine.” Once more I close my eyes, and this time I part my lips slightly.

  “Wider.”

  “Jesus.” This feels so erotic, like something way bigger than him feeding me candy is going on.

  “When I put the chocolate in your mouth, don’t chew it. Don’t do anything. Just let it melt, okay?”

  “Whatever.”

  I hear him lean forward, then feel his finger pulling my bottom lip down slightly, forcing my mouth to open a little wider. “Here,” he whispers, placing a small piece of the chocolate on my tongue.

  I resist the urge to suck his finger into my mouth.

  “Keep your eyes shut. Just let it melt on your tongue.” His voice is low, more than a hint of raspiness to it.

  I make a hmph noise in my throat.

  He chuckles, then says, “Suck on it. Just for a second.”

  “Perv,” I whisper, but do what he says. The bitterness starts to tickle my tongue, and I grimace. “It’s bitter.”

  “Don’t focus on that. Focus on the sweetness. Concentrate on it.”

  I move the piece of chocolate around in my mouth, sucking it gently again. I ignore the harsh overtones and instead look for the sweetness of it. It’s there. Subtle but, somehow, even more lovely because of the contrast.

  “And?” His voice is so low that the single word sounds like a growl.

  “It’s . . . okay.” I don’t want to admit it I kind of like it. But I won’t lie.

  “Told you.”

  “Asshole.” I open my eyes and catch him staring at me like he wants to eat me up. His lips are slightly parted, his eyes blazing.

  He sees me looking and grins, the intensity gone in an instant. “What’s with the makeup today?” He tilts his head examining my face.

  I shrug. “My friend insisted.”

  “Looks nice.”

  “You saying I don’t look good without it?” I tease.

  “I’m saying . . . there’s nothing I can say without getting in trouble right now, is there?” He gives me a half grin, lifting one corner of his mouth and winking.

  “Tell me more about The Center.” Enough games. I need information.

  “I will. But not yet. I need to get back to work.” He glances at his watch. “I’m doing a killer whale on a client in half an hour. And you need to get onto Floor Zero.”

  “Hey, Marcus.” I stick my head into his office, where he’s staring at his computer, a frown on his face.

  “Thea! What are you doing here?” He’s not used to me actually coming in to work unless there’s a meeting.

  I shrug. “Bored at home. Looking for company.” I try to sound sarcastic. The truth is, I’m here to see if I can find out how to get to Floor Zero.

  Marcus frowns. “You never look for company. What’s going on?”

  “I don’t know. I feel kind of . . . off today. Maybe it’s the Foster Graham case. He’s at the shop doing a tattoo. Probably tied up there for at least an hour. I’m not sure what the next steps are with him, Marcus. Like, are we going to kidnap him?”

  Marcus stares at me for a few moments, unblinking. Finally, he responds. “I don’t know. I wish I did. I haven’t figured it all out yet.” For the first time ever, he seems unsure of himself. And tired. “And I’m glad you’re here, actually. In the meantime, we have two—yes two—more cryptids that need to be captured.”

  “What?”

  “I know.” He shakes his head in amazement. “I don’t know what’s going on. But there’s a . . . Jesus.”

  “Tell me!”

  “First, a J’ba Fofi. Supposedly a leg span of six or even seven feet in length.”

  “Holy shit! Are you sure? They’re from the Congo. What are they doing in Chicago?”

  A J’ba Fofi is a cryptid from Africa, a giant tarantula-like spider, dark brown and furry, with fangs six inches long. Legend has it they’re so venomous that a single drop of their poison could kill a grown man. I’ve never dealt with venom before.

  “No idea. And I’m as sure as I’ve been about any other creature we’ve caught. It’s been sighted by a few people, and I even have a photo—albeit blurry—that I already sent you.” Marcus has a network of other crypto-zoologists with whom he corresponds regularly.

  “Okay.” I take a deep breath. “And the second?”

  He shrugs. “Possibly some sort of Hellhound. Glowing red eyes. Foul odor. Big teeth.”

  I nod. I’ve never captured a Hellhound before, but it’s way more similar to things I have caught than a giant spider. “Send me all the info and I’ll get on it tonight.”

  “Already did.” He runs his hand through his short light-brown hair. “But there have been more sightings lately, Thea. In general. These are only two of the ones that have been spotted enough and within a certain radius for you to try to track. But reports have been daily. Daily.”

  “Why? What does it mean?”

  He shakes his head. “Not sure. There are few theories on why cryptids—from all over the globe—would start showing up in one place all of a sudden. It’s . . . I don’t know.”

  I shift my weight from one leg to the other, feeling the uncommon urge to comfort him. I don’t like comforting people. But Marcus looks really fucking troubled. “So, which do you want me to bring in tonight?”

  “Uh . . . the J’ba Fofi. That’s the one that will set off the most panic, so we need to get it away from people. If the Hellhound stays out another day, people will probably just mistake it for a rabid dog. Not to mention the fact that the spider is so venomous. Need to get it off the streets.�
�

  “I’m on it.” I start to the door. “Leon in?”

  “I think so.” But Marcus is already distracted, turning back to his computer and typing away.

  Leon’s busy too, so engrossed in whatever he’s reading on his screen that he doesn’t even hear me come in.

  “Dude,” I finally say.

  “Oh. Hey!” He looks up, surprised to see me. “Marcus is being a fucking slave-driver today. He’s got something on his mind. Making me do all sorts of research and tap into databases from other cryptozoologists to figure out why there are more than usual sightings in the Chicago area lately.” He sits back and sighs.

  “Yeah. He told me. Looks like we’re going to capture a huge ass spider tonight.” I lean back in the chair, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket.

  “Don’t remind me.” He rolls his eyes. He hates spiders. It’s the only weakness of his I’m aware of. Well, that and pie.

  “We’ll need a few tranquilizer guns.”

  “Theadora Ashcroft. I thought you didn’t believe in using tranquilizers!” He raises an eyebrow under his shaggy mess of orangey hair.

  “I also don’t believe in getting killed by a single drop of venom.”

  “Fair enough.” He pushes his laptop to the side so he can lean closer over the desk, staring into my eyes the whole time. “So, I found some other info for you.

  “Oh yeah?” I know exactly what he’s talking about. Floor Zero.

  “Yeah. And I’m in the mood for some more of the apple pie from that shitty-ass diner.”

  Leon orders pie again, and I order black coffee. Then I push everything in front of me to the side as he hands me a rolled-up paper.

  It’s a blueprint, and I unfurl it on the table in front of me, using dingy silverware to hold down the edges.

  “The Center.” I recognize it immediately.

  “Yes. This is the officially filed blue print. No basement. See?”

  He’s right.

  “And here . . .” he hands me another scrolled document, “is the real blue print.”

  I unfold it on top of the other one. And here, I see Floor Zero, a huge space underneath the building. “Leon.” I frown at him. “Where did you get this?”

  He shakes his head. “The official one is public record. The other one? I had to . . . dig a little.” He doesn’t mention the word “hack,” though I know that’s what he means. “Do not show that to anyone. It was nearly impossible to find, and there’s probably a reason for that. If anyone found out I was looking into this . . .”

  “I’d never put you in danger. You can trust me, Leon. Okay, this is weird,” I say, pointing at the drawing in front of me, “it looks like the only entrance to Floor Zero is from these back elevators. But I’ve been in those. And there was no button for a bottom level.”

  “There’s a code.” Leon pauses as the server sets pie in front of him and places my coffee on the table, near the edge so she doesn’t set it on the blue prints.

  I raise my eyebrows at him.

  “You enter the code by pressing the elevator buttons in the right order. Here.” He hands me a sheet of paper on which he’s written: 1, 1, 1, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1.

  “But . . . what if that’s the order people pressed the elevator buttons during the day? Would they be taken to the secret floor?”

  “Nope. They have to be pressed within a certain amount of time—like a few seconds—and that alerts whatever mechanism has been programmed to know it’s the code rather than directions for the elevator to travel.”

  “Have you tried it?” My heart rate picks up as I stare at him across the table. “What’s down there?”

  He shakes his head, digging into his pie. “No way, Thea. I’m not going down there.”

  I sit back. “Jesus, Leon! How can you resist? Aren’t you dying to know why it’s a big secret? Aren’t you dying to see it?”

  “Uh-uh,” he says around a mouthful of food. “It’s about as appealing to me as helping you catch that giant ass spider tonight. Anyway . . .” He swallows. “I don’t think you should use the elevator code.”

  “Wait. What? Are you fucking kidding me? In what world wouldn’t I use it?”

  “Look. Somebody—maybe Marcus, maybe someone else—has gone through a lot of trouble to hide whatever is down there. And who knows what he might do to protect the secret? It’s a can of worms you seriously don’t want to open.” There’s real concern in his eyes as he looks at me hard.

  “I know. I get that. But something’s going on, and I need to know what. I mean, how can you keep working for someone who has a huge fucking secret—maybe an insidious one—that you know nothing about?” I’m getting fired up.

  “It’s a good job. And don’t you think every company has secrets? Things that most employees don’t know about?” He shoves some more pie in his mouth.

  “Yes. But we’re not just most employees, Leon. We’re the ones who do everything! Without us out there capturing the cryptids, Marcus wouldn’t be able to do his job. So, if he’s got something top secret going on, we’re the ones who should know about it.”

  “Maybe you are. I’m just your chauffeur.”

  “Fuck you, Leon. You’re not just a chauffeur. You know that.”

  He grins at me. “I know. I’m a chauffeur who really really likes his job. I plan to keep it.”

  “Understood. So, hypothetically speaking . . .” I sip my coffee and squint my eyes at him.

  He groans. “You’re killing me, Thea.”

  “Hypothetically speaking,” I continue, “if someone were to use the secret code in that elevator, would there be a record of it? Or a video recording? Are there cameras at The Center?” I realize suddenly I have no idea about any of this. As badass as I’ve always considered myself, I’m frighteningly unaware of my own office building.

  Leon sighs. “See the small black dots I drew on the blueprint?” He finishes his pie and pushes the plate aside. “Those are where all the security camera are.”

  I look closer and notice the dots. And there’s one inside the elevator I’d have to use for Floor Zero.

  “Well, fuck.” I slink down in the torn and scratchy vinyl booth.

  “But . . .” Leon winks at me. “Turns out the cameras are on a separate breaker than the rest of the building. So hypothetically they could all be turned off at once, while everything else still worked.”

  I look up at him, a smile breaking out on my face. “Leon? Have I ever told you how much I fucking love you?”

  “Thea?” He shoots me a wary smile. “Have I ever told you you’re the fucking worst?”

  5

  Marcus is coming along to catch the J’ba Fofi tonight, and I’ve never seen him this scared. He looks paler than ever, and if I thought Leon was afraid of spiders, Marcus has taken it to a whole different level. He’s brought a case—a fucking case—of syringes loaded with animal tranquilizer, each enough to take down a horse, and he’s armed all three of us with two tranq guns each.

  Leon drives the van though the dark streets toward River Forest, where his program has shown it’s most likely to be. It’s also where a local news team interviewed a frantic woman who swore she’d seen a “giant spider—absolutely enormous!” in her backyard last night.

  You could tell from the reporter’s eyes that she thought the woman being interviewed was bat-shit crazy, and I felt sorry for the poor homeowner. I recognized the fear in her eyes as authentic. I knew she’d probably actually seen the creature.

  That woman’s house backs up to a forest preserve, where Marcus’ program suggested the spider would be. Leon pulls the van into a parking spot in the otherwise abandoned and pitch-black lot of Thatcher Woods.

  We get out, Marcus scanning the dark carefully as he does. “Do you both have your tranquilizer guns?”

  “Yup.” I nod, even though he can’t see me.

  “Both of you?”

  “Got ’em,” assures Leon.

  “Stay close. S
hoot at anything you see or hear. Do you understand? This thing is possibly the most venomous creature you’ll ever encounter in your lives. Got it?”

  Leon and I both grunt our assent, and the three of us make our way, slowly, along a path that leads us farther into the wooded area, trees on one side, houses on the other.

  “Do your thing, Thea,” urges Marcus, and I feel a sudden flash of annoyance at him. Almost like he’s using me, which is ridiculous. I know how much he respects me.

  “Yeah. Okay.” We stop walking, and I shut my eyes, draining my brain of thoughts and feelings and everything else.

  I’m weightless, my head white and pure and empty, ready for a signal.

  My neck snaps to the right, violently, as a shrill siren pierces through my skull. Then to the left as another beacon signals. Back and forth, like I’m possessed, my head moves until I shut it down, open my eyes, and practically fall to the ground.

  “Two,” I whisper. “There are two of them.” This has never happened to me before. Sensing two creatures at once, but also experiencing a connection so intense I don’t have the strength to hold it. “I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry.”

  “Fuck.” There’s tension and more than a little fear in Marcus’ voice.

  Leon is silent, but his rapid breathing lets me know he’s on edge too. More than on edge. He’s probably fucking terrified.

  “Where are they?” asks Marcus.

  “Right and left. They probably sense me too, and they’re probably on their way. I’m not positive either or both are spiders. All I know is they’re both supernatural in some way.”

  “So we don’t even know what the fuck we’re looking for?” Leon speaks for the first time in minutes.

  “Same rules as before,” mutters Marcus. “Shoot at anything and everything. We can’t take any chances tonight.”

  Grouped together, we venture a little farther, walking as silently as possible, hyper aware of every single sound around us. I swear a blade of grass could blow in the wind and I’d hear it, I’m so focused.

  And then a crackling sound as leaves are moved aside. And a low, insidious hiss. Jesus. It’s ahead and to the left. We creep closer, even though every cell in my body—and probably everyone else’s as well—wants to run the fuck in the other direction.